The World’s Most Disappointing Travel Experiences & Tourist Traps
Jeff Edwards June 05, 2015
In many cases, a tourist trap’s appeal lies is in the eye of the beholder. Taking a photo while kissing the Blarney Stone or cruising the canals of Venice in a gondola might seem like a waste of time and money to experienced globe-trotters, but to others, such ventures can be worthy endeavors, if only for bragging rights.
A true tourist trap leaves travelers feeling overwhelmingly disappointed, possibly even cheated, almost as soon as they are separated from their money. Here are just a few of the world’s most disappointing traps, but there are plenty more “tourist attractions” out there. Let us know in the comments below which ones you think travelers should steer clear of.
Dangerous Quackery
Amphibious DUKW vehicles or “ducks” were invaluable military transports used in beach assaults during World War II; as tour buses and pleasure boats, they are somewhat lacking. Neither great busses nor great boats, the mode of transportation doesn’t lend itself to a pleasant tour in any environment. Add a deplorable safety record and duck tours have all the makings of a classic tourist trap.
Just watch a typical duck boat voyage in any destination. The trip often starts with excited quacking from inexplicably distributed plastic duck calls and the earnest loathing from every local on the street, then moves to water where the tourists on the slow-moving barge exhibit all the excitement of families riding an escalator at the mall and ends with stone-faced passengers who can hardly wait to push their way off the ancient war machine.
Pure Torture in London
Just a few steps from the Thames River in London is the London Dungeon. This touristy museum has all the subtlety of a Halloween haunted house, complete with garish costumes, bad acting and black lights.
There is something to be said for the history lesson sandwiched between the side-show performances but an entry fee of as much as $32.00 makes the London Dungeon an unforgivable waste of precious time and money when some of the best museums in the world can be found a stone’s throw away with no admission fees at all.
The Wrap Party
Every day, at airports around the world, flyers pay good money to have strangers tightly wrap their luggage in what appears to be saran-wrap. This service purports to protect the contents of checked bags from prying eyes.
In reality, the sight of shrink-wrapped luggage only serves as an alert to customs officials and thieving bag handlers that there is something worth protecting or hiding in the checked bags. In the end, access to wrapped bags is still only a box cutter away.
Missing the Bus in NYC
Double-decker tour busses aren’t in and of themselves a tourist trap and can be a good way for travelers to get their bearings, take in the sights and learn a little about an unfamiliar locale while resting their tired feet at the same time. The double-decker bus experience in New York City, however, falls squarely into the category of an overrated and unnecessary excursion.
The man-made urban canyons and relative ease of traveling around Manhattan take away the advantages of seeing this particular city from a perch atop a double decker.
A special mention should be made of The Ride, a NYC tour where, for some reason, the bus is “enhanced” with 40 giant plasma video screens. A much better way to get a unique vantage of the city that never sleeps is to take advantage of one of the many guided boat tours offered in The Big Apple.
No Zip at All
On paper, zip-line adventures sound like an exhilarating and pulse-pounding extreme adventure; in practice, the actual experience is often closer to being transported like a hanging sack of wet flour. Zip line tours are so overrated that the popular Comedy Central animated series South Park dedicated an entire episode to examining the soul-crushing boredom and seemingly endless monotony that is a zip-lining adventure.
Arc du Déception
Getting off the beaten path does not guarantee avoiding tourist traps. La Grande Arche de la Défense purports to offer a stunning view free from the hassles of more popular Paris tourist sites. In a city of spectacular rooftop views, many of which are free, a nearly $10.00 price tag, long lines, a jam-packed elevator and a view that feels more like a sniper’s nest than a panorama make a visit to La Grande Arche de la Défense a disappointment of the first order.
The ticket price includes admission to the building’s Computer Museum which promises a chance to “to follow the evolution of computing since its origins,” but more closely resembles the electronics bin at any given thrift store.
Something Rotten
Iceland has more than one attraction that could potentially fall into the category of a tourist trap. Reykjavik has an actual phallus museum and in candid moments, Northern Lights tour guides will admit that not that very many tourists will actually see the Northern Lights. However, the Phallus Museum is absolutely fascinating and at least one tour company only operates if there’s a good chance of seeing the Aurora Borealis.
Iceland, however, has a tradition that seems to go well past tourist traps and veer into the category of a practical joke. Hákarl, a concoction of fermented shark, is unofficially the national dish of Iceland, but the ammonia-rich delicacy is viewed by many native Icelanders as something to trick tourists into eating just to see their reaction rather than a dish to consume themselves.
Not Another Roadside Attraction
Roadside Attractions are a staple of travel through the Western United States. Wall Drug, the Corn Palace and even the World’s Largest Ball of Twine are worth a stop. Be wary, however, of billboards proclaiming amazing prairie dog towns. Locals view the thought of stopping to take photos of prairie dog towns with the same befuddlement that a New Yorker would greet the idea of tourists paying to see rat-infested alleys.
There are dozens of roadside spots offering glimpses of prairie dog civilization and, despite ranchers’ distaste for the adorable furry rodents, a prairie dog town is a sight to behold. The truth is travelers who pull to the side of the road nearly anywhere in the Great Plains, have a good chance of enjoying the exact same experience for free.
A Segway into History
It is impossible to ride a Segway without looking a bit silly. Add a bicycle helmet and an orange safety vest and a Segway rider might as well be dressed like a clown. A line of tourists on Segways trailing a tour guide like baby geese might just be the most absurd sight in all of space and time.
There is one particular Segway tour guide in Paris that knows the city so thoroughly he should probably have his own television show; therefore, it seems rude to dissuade travelers from spending their tourist dollars on one of these well-intentioned tours. On the other hand, anyone who thinks that a Segway might be the best way to explore a destination probably won’t be dissuaded in that belief by anyone or anything.
[Photo: iStock]
I went zip lining in Costa Rica and it was exciting fun. We zipped through the rain forest… saw monkeys and colorful birds from up in the trees … it was well run and worthwhile. As for wrapping suitcases… anyone who's had theirs pilfered by baggage handlers or who knows who, if a bag is stored or held in a lost luggage area, may disagree with the advice given. Sure, a determined thief with a box cutter can get into an unlocked but wrapped bag, but it's unlikely that anyone would do that, as they'd be seen. It's not exactly discreet to cut open all that wrapping and could be time consuming as opposed to a quick opportunistic snatch. Some airports, especially in certain parts of the world, are notorious for bag pilferage. I embarked at a jungle airport in Iquitos Peru and saw some guys opening bags as they were unloaded from the plane. A guard spotted them and chased them off, but by then they'd managed to open several bags. I never carry valuables in my checked luggage, but thieves don't know that. I also lock my bags., even soft sided ones. I figure any deterrent is a good idea.
Bus tours to the Great Wall. We took one after the Beijing police busted the unlicensed car we planned to take. Made stops at a jade factory (overpriced by a factor of 3X) and the Ming Dynasty Wax Museum (seriously pathetic) before being allowed 90 minutes at Badaling, before going to the Ming dynasty tomb site on the way back. The tomb wasn't too bad, but the first 2 stops were a waste and a ripoff. There are trains out to Badaling that cost way less.
On the subject of baggage wrap, there's a few things to consider. I'll preface this all by saying I was a baggage handler at YVR and YEG, on the ramp, in the bagroom and in management over the course of about 7 years altogether. 1. It's perception. Yes, there is theft in baggage, I can say I never did it, but we did catch one of our guys red handed once, and I'm sure multiple other times it went unnoticed. More often the theft is left behind items on the plane that the cleaners keep...but that's another subject. The perception is that somehow foreign countries are much more prone to theft. Bags coming from South America/Mexico/India often show up wrapped, because the guys are in the airport, people immediately think "I'd be stupid not to do this, lest all my underwear be stolen". 2. It does help. This article jokingly says access is only a box cutter away. That is VERY true...but how many handlers are ballsy enough to cut open a bag? I can say, honestly, not many. A crime of opportunity is one thing, but going out of your way like that isn't likely. So not only does it discourage theft, it can also act as evidence. When the bag arrives with something missing, if the person has proof their bag was wrapped (by receipt or photo) they can show the airline either a slit in the wrapping, or that the wrapping is totally gone. Making your claim of pilferage easier. 3. As far as customs goes, if they REALLY wanna look, they will. They usually put stickers on them indicating they opened the bag though. But again, they have multiple x-ray machines and dogs they can use before doing that. All that being said...I've never bothered wrapping a bag. I don't think the price is worth it, I've never had anything stolen and for the most part I don't travel with expensive items not on my person. Also in my case, if I am travelling with an expensive packed item it's usually going TO the risky country as opposed to from it, so that gives less opportunity for theft in the first place.
I did the Segway tour in Paris and fell right off the damn thing! Plus, you cannot here the guide talking unless you are right near him or her. I don't understand how they can be rated the top attraction in some cities. I will never ride a Segway again.
You may need to update your sources... Because of an accident in the elevators in April 2010, the La Defense rooftop has been closed since then.