South Korean Flight Attendants Can Finally Wear Pants

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It’s late. I’m alone in a hotel room. I just Googled “South Korean flight attendants in trousers.” Now I’m going into the bathroom to take care of something.

I adore South Korean flight attendants, even if they can swell your heart and then break it. They do a fermenting cabbage-based kimchi served with green tea at 33,000 feet that is to skydive for.

And they do it in refusing-to-be-ignored silk skirts that give you a pretty fair idea of what they would look like without silk.

That’s why I dream of them in fifty shades of trousers. It’s the mystery. Would you go to the ballgame if you already knew the score?

Remember my Google search? We’re just two adults talking, right?

Google threw out nothing but bad after searching “South Korean flight attendants in trousers.” It is headline news from Manila to Bangkok to Australia to The Telegraph in London where bold-font says it all: Airline’s Trouser Ban Overturned.

They are going to let the hard-working 3,400 female cabin crew of Asiana Airlines, Korea’s second-largest airline, wear slacks.

Korean Air, the largest carrier, started permitting trousers in 2005.

South Korea, with last-place determination to gain the gender-equality sensibilities of the 21st century, now have a human rights commission suggesting airlines no longer discriminate and prey on nectar sweet young women in tight-fitting skirts to sell airline seats.

Yes, in the low teens of the 21st century, an era in our part of the globe when flight attendants can get pilots (not just a first-officer, but a captain) pregnant, Asiana Airlines might let their flight attendants wear pants.

Worry not. The women remain charming, attractive and forever young, the carrier’s “ideal brand of high-class Korean beauty.” They merely might cover their glabrous calves.

Human rights my ass! There goes my South-Korean-flight-attendants-in-trousers fantasy. If it’s really there, it’s no longer fantasy. They might as well be buck-naked for all I now care.

I can only cleave to my dreams and imagine they put their pants on two legs at a time.

Think about this: You’re an Asiana Airlines’ flight attendant. Last January you memorized the 10-page manual that dictates applying make-up, earring size, the number of hairpins in the classic updo and your hair color.

It shapes the yin and yang of your walk – part grace, part ridden-up underwear.

Maybe it contains undisclosed high-octane things the passenger in 20D can’t imagine. And the Johnny Walker gentleman in 16A does nothing but imagine.

You memorized the manual in January 2013, when Asiana Airlines started allowing you to wear eyeglasses.

And while you groom and prim you take courage from winning a small victory in that long-running battle to wear trousers.

Now comes the penultimate daring act: mere ankle hose and the dishrag bleakness of trousers. Finally adding a rioting neck scarf and rakish hat pulling it all together like children’s naval wear.

You’re feeling comfortable in the trousers, almost firewoman safety capable. No umms, no uhhs, no hesitations, no insecurities.

Hey, you never know what can happen up there. I mean you’re not just a pretty face wrapped in silk, right?

Asiana Airlines makes safety Job One. Right?

It plays out that you get no Brownie points at work for wearing pants. Forget first-class or purser aspirations. But at least now the boss man pulling your string might have to think up some reason other than wearing trousers to fire you. A gray hair, perhaps?

Stop! This was all about me. Remember? It’s not over. The allow-trousers ruling from human-rights cops is non-binding.

A fella can dream, can’t he?

Good night, my friend. Sweet dreams.

Photo credit: Jonathan Caves / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

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