Beware: This is an Inane Article About Justin Bieber at an Airport


So it has come to this. I bring news about Justin Bieber. Reuters has posted a picture of the teenage idol going through airport security naked to the waist.

Listen up all you 13-year-olds in airport club lounges around the world. For the rest of you, a crossword puzzle must be around there someplace.

Or click over to The Gate for news you can actually use.

Still here?

OK, this is the scoop. The 19-year-old Canadian pop star passed through airport security in Warsaw with his shirt off. (Spoiler alert:  Security says “he’s quite skinny.”)

Apparently that wasn’t Bieber’s only way-out-there move during his Believe European tour. In London, he was seen wearing a gas mask on the street and turned up late for a concert before collapsing on stage. Beliebers went wild. (Thankfully, he flies in a private jet.)

You don’t care? Neither do I.

Let’s get this over and race by another celeb. Last week an airport security agent at Derry airport (LDY) in Ireland was “was sacked after posting a pic of himself and Girls Aloud star Nadine Coyle”.


Coyle’s PR guns didn’t like the negative comments that ran with the Facebook picture and complained to airport management. (It’s always the comments that hurt. Wish I had PR pistols. Until then …*)

Now the former airport worker can’t make his rent. Sad! FT members, should we go for the boycott of LDY?

You’ve come this far, let’s do one more downright moving story.

27_TPTIn Switzerland, a U.K. model was busted at Zurich airport security for $1,500 Channel Chanel shoes with heels that look like pistols. The model, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, tweeted the “arrest” and news sites reported it this week. Now it seems the event happened a few years ago and TP-T just got around to tweeting it for publicity reasons. (Talk about a slow news day.)

I knew it was an old story from the get-go. Platform sandals with 90 mm gun heels are so yesterday.

If you actually consume this celebrity stuff like it’s 5-Food-Group eating there is a website featuring celebrities with the TSA.

This entire celebrity beat reminds me of Chekhov’s line:  All I know about ballet is that ballerinas stink like horses between dances.

*Stay tuned for a greatest hits list of hurtin’ comments I’ll be posting on The Tarmac. Go ahead. Take your best shot. Make my day! Surely you can top the cringingly bad “what ru grade three.”


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Comments (Showing 2 of 2)

  • Brian Cohen at 11:28pm March 27, 2013

    There is something seriously wrong with you, Gerry – and it is great!

  • TravelingBear at 8:32pm March 28, 2013

    The only thing I am taking from this is you don’t know what Chanel is.

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