No Toilet Paper During Transatlantic Flight?

Considering the unexpected use being employed by these napkins, am I the only one who finds the message printed on them about “Fly by the tips of your fingers” to take on a whole new meaning? Photograph by FlyerTalk member SFO_Runner. Click on the photograph for a discussion amongst FlyerTalk members pertaining to these napkins supposedly being used for their number two duty as toilet paper.

The passengers and flight crew on flight 931 operated by United Airlines from London to San Francisco might have been flushed with envy for other transatlantic flights which had an ample supply of toilet paper, because one of the lavatories supposedly was depleted of its supply of toilet paper midway during the flight.

Napkins were reportedly substituted to absorb the void left by the lack of toilet paper, according to FlyerTalk member SFO_Runner, who was bowled over by the alleged claim that the flight crew could not be bothered — or, more appropriately, tear away from what they were doing — to simply transfer a roll from a different lavatory.

Was that claim true — or were they simply full of sheet?

I would have thought that the members of the flight crew would have searched the bowels of the aircraft for another roll of toilet paper to resolve this rather tear-able tissue issue — and if they were unable to find one, they would simply go back to square one instead of using method number two of substituting napkins. What a waste.

After all — is that not one duty of many upon which the flight crew should plunge into pertaining to serving their passengers and ensuring their comfort? This really blows that they did not seem to lend a dire ear to the needs of their passengers. Should they not have been more Charmin to their passengers instead of simply poo-pooing them?

Perhaps this is a piss-poor attempted movement by United Airlines to wipe their financial slate clean in its quest for its bottom line to be profitable? If so, it seems to smell an awful lot like brown-nosing by members of the flight crew to be in good standing with the bean-counters if they decided to prune away some of the rolls of toilet paper available for the passengers.

I wonder if the in-flight entertainment aboard that aircraft was paper view instead of complimentary. Either way, I would bet that it would contain at least one song by The Commode-ores.

Please allow me to float this question to you: would you have flipped your lid if you were on this flight and had to use napkins instead of toilet paper to regain that “fresh” clean feeling?

In the meantime, tanks for reading this article. I gotta go…

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Comments (Showing 10 of 10)

  • BearX220 at 10:54am June 20, 2013

    Instead of asking rhetorical questions about what the flight attendants were thinking, why don’t you pick up the phone, call United PR, and ask for an explanation?

    A little reporting wouldn’t kill you. You have added absolutely no information to this story.

    • Brian Cohen at 11:08am June 20, 2013

      I was going to respond that this story was meant to be more…er…tongue-in-cheek, BearX220 — but then I thought better of it…

  • StevenSeagalFan at 3:53pm June 20, 2013

    I love the sensationalized headlines and stories that make the front page.

  • Palal at 4:30pm June 20, 2013

    Hey, at least they didn’t put newspapers there. That would have been harsh.

  • relangford at 5:46pm June 20, 2013

    I suspect it was more work on the CC to do this than to get another t.p. roll, so maybe they were really short on supplies. Are things (unlike food) catered on the outbound flight maybe?

  • Arsey00 at 4:23am June 21, 2013

    You pundits have all missed the punt. Pund for pund, this is the punchiest article on flyertalk today. Opun your minds and let the pun shine in…

    • Brian Cohen at 2:57pm June 22, 2013

      I could not have said it better myself, Arsey00. Thank you — you nailed it!

  • flyzabit at 6:20pm June 21, 2013

    The story, and the picture, were on the Houston nightly news last night…

  • LAX-1K at 12:01pm June 22, 2013

    Can United spare a square?

  • nursedoc at 3:33pm June 22, 2013

    Cut out all the potty mouth talk, or I’ll report you to the teacher…er…I mean the pilot. Oh, never mind I see he is disposed, in the lavatory.

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