Ahhh, babies and toddlers. You either love those miniature human beings, or you absolutely despise them.
Fortunately — or unfortunately, depending on how you view it — there are FlyerTalk members who staunchly belong to both camps. This, of course, has led to intense debate over the years through literally hundreds of discussions about whether or not babies and toddlers should travel.
It would be almost impossible to write an article which covers everything about babies and toddlers who travel. In fact, that is merely a subset of a broader topic, which is traveling with children. That would include everyone of both the male and female genders from babies to infants, toddlers to adolescents, “pre-teens” to teenagers — each with their own subsets of trials and tribulations they bring to fellow travelers who attempt to enjoy a comfortable flight on an airplane or a good night’s sleep in the room next door at a hotel property.
In fact, there is even an entire forum on FlyerTalk dedicated to traveling with children….
…so let us consider this article the second of an informal series on traveling with children of all types, as there is no way the topic can be covered in its entirety within one article. The topic for this article is changing the diapers — or nappies, depending on where you are located — of babies, infants and toddlers.
I had already been thinking about writing an article about children who travel when I stumbled upon this article written in the first person by The Deal Mommy, who imparts her first-hand experience on dealing with the unpredictability of a baby who was three weeks old:
“Deal Dad learned early: on our very first flight with Deal Kid, aged three weeks. Confidently he strolled down the aisle with DK, his spare supplies all ready to go for a change. Fifteen minutes later he returned disheveled, battle-scarred, and needing a drink. Apparently Deal Dad forgot one of the rules of infant, um, movements: they are never-ending. So as Deal Dad was mid-change, Deal Kid projected full force all over the mirror, sink, and lavatory like a machine gun. Deal Kid did his best to frantically clean up the battle damage while still holding to Deal Kid. (NOTE: NEVER touch anything in an airplane lavatory!)”
…and then with a toddler who was two years of age:
“As the plane ascended and my ears began to pop, so did Deal Kid’s intestines. This is what I, and the surrounding four rows, heard:
“Mommy! Poop! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!”
(me standing up, whispering) “excuse moi, Madame”
(Walk 17 rows to lavatory, Deal Kid screaming whole way, change diaper, return to seat)
(me sitting down, whispering) “excuse moi, Madame”
This entire process took about 15 minutes.
Unfortunately, this didn’t happen just once. It happened EVERY HALF HOUR, like some sort of deranged cuckoo clock…”
Naturally — after reading that — I had to get the real poop on traveling with babies and toddlers as discussed by FlyerTalk members.
At least The Deal Mommy uses the lavatory aboard the aircraft during a flight: one sore subject for FlyerTalk members is parents who change the diapers of their babies and toddlers in what may be considered inappropriate areas — such as openly in an aisle seat of the business class cabin on a Boeing 767-300, or in a seat in the first class cabin on a flight to Miami, both operated by American Airlines. Some FlyerTalk members call it disgusting and classless; while others seem to have no problem or issue with it.
The changing of a fully-soiled diaper can be considered even more disgusting when the mother of an infant does not cover the seat on which she changed that diaper — nor did she wash her hands afterwards — just as the meal service had commenced in the business class cabin.
While in the first class cabin on a flight operated by United Airlines which lasted 12 hours this past August, FlyerTalk member VFR2EWR was not happy about sitting near a couple who breast-fed their screaming baby and changed the baby’s diaper not one, but twice.
Interestingly, FlyerTalk members were more bothered by the open changing of the baby’s diaper than they were about the baby being breast-fed. I intend to cover the breast-feeding of infants as the topic of a future article.
The act of changing a diaper is certainly not limited to the premium class cabin on an airplane. Imagine a mother changing the diaper of her toddler in the middle seat next to you in the economy class cabin, where quarters are tighter and space is limited. Would you hold the taped-up soiled diaper while the mother struggled to clean up her child if you were asked?
How would you like to eat your snack or meal that was sitting on a tray table — even if it was in protective packaging — when you know that it was used as a table for changing the diaper of an infant?
One mother attempted to give a dirty diaper to a flight attendant for disposal, when the flight attendant supposedly declined politely but firmly, saying “No, you’ll need to dispose of that in the lavatory.” Is the disposal of soiled diapers part of the job of a flight attendant? Would the situation be different if the mother first placed the offensive diaper in a plastic bag, at the very least?
Perhaps the flight attendant should be responsible for the proper disposal of a diaper. A flight to New York was delayed in Tampa due to a baby diaper lodged in the toilet of a lavatory. The delay lasted greater than an hour so that the toilet could be unclogged.
Is it the fault of the parent when he or she changes the diaper of a child at a bulkhead seat when granted permission by the flight attendant after asking?
Mothers are not the only parents who change the diapers of their children in empty seats. A father on a regional jet airplane operated by United Airlines during a flight from Los Angeles to Seattle changed the diaper of his son in an empty seat — and due to their size, the interiors of regional jets can quickly be enveloped with the unpleasant smell of the soiled diaper.
The disgust for the conspicuous changing of the diaper of a baby or toddler is not confined to within an airplane. Imagine eating at the food court at the Toronto Zoo — only to have a mother changing the diaper of her baby nearby on one of the seats in the cafeteria. Unsanitary , inconsiderate and gross are some of the adjectives used by FlyerTalk members to express their disgust at the practice of changing a soiled diaper in the vicinity of where people are consuming food.
There are those who say that those adorable babies and toddlers simply “do what they do” and cannot yet control themselves the way older children and adults — well, most adults, anyway — can; while others argue that if that is the case, then leave your babies and toddlers at home, as they have a right to enjoy travel without having to be subjected to the sight and odor of freshly discharged fecal matter.
Some might argue that the odors emanating from aircraft lavatories can be far more pungent than what a baby can produce — but then again, should that not be the appropriate place where a baby or a toddler should have his or her diaper changed?
Parents might either believe that they are being as discreet as possible when changing the diaper of their child at the seat on an airplane — or perhaps they may not believe that they are being noticed or seen, similar to that inexplicable phenomenon of a person picking his or her nose while in a car waiting for the traffic light to change. Maybe there is a plausible reason as to why the parent is unable or unwilling to take his or her child to the lavatory to change that odoriferous diaper — such as being required to stay in your seat while the Fasten Seat Belt sign is illuminated, perhaps. If so, I would like to hear those reasons to present all sides of this issue fairly. Please post them in the Comments area below.
In a broader sense, this appears to be all about a matter of responsibility, awareness and respect for fellow passengers. While there are circumstances and situations which may necessitate a parent to travel with a baby or toddler — and while there are certain things a parent cannot control with regard to his or her baby or toddler — there are actions which parents can take to ensure that any disruption which their may child is mitigated or eliminated. In this case, that could include the following suggestions:
Use an appropriate place to change that diaper. Unlike years ago, many lavatories and rest rooms are now equipped with tables for the specific purpose of changing the diaper of the little one. Use it.
Ensure you have an adequate amount of the proper supplies. This includes diapers; a soft cushion such as a small blanket, pillow or pad; baby powder and other items which may help reduce the offensive odor while simultaneously ensure the comfort of the baby or toddler; cleaning supplies; plastic bags — preferably ones which can be sealed — in which used diapers may be placed for disposal purposes; and any distractions which could help reduce any impediment of the enjoyment of fellow travelers and diners, such as a pacifier or a favorite toy.
Change the diaper of your child before you board an airplane. This may be difficult to achieve successfully, but it is possible. This is one tip imparted by FlyerTalk member GoldenRetriever when FlyerTalk member Nassau considerately asked for advice from fellow FlyerTalk members about changing the diaper of a baby aboard an airplane.
Choose a flight with the least amount of impact on fellow passengers. In addition to this being difficult to predict — as well as other factors such as the cost of a flight — this can be difficult to achieve but also possible to accomplish successfully. For example, if you can book a reservation on a flight when you believe that the baby or toddler will most likely sleep during the entire flight, this could minimize the need to change a diaper during a flight — or, at least, the amount of times a diaper has to be changed during a flight.
Have a small offering to your fellow passengers, just in case. If for some extreme reason you are unable to minimize the disruption of the travel experience of your fellow passengers, at least offer them a little something for their trouble — a drink coupon or a chocolate bar, for example — to acknowledge that you are indeed aware of them and the possible effect on their travel experiences. This action may not excuse you from changing that diaper in an inappropriate area in the minds of the passengers — but at least perform a gesture of good will of some type so that you do not appear to be completely ignorant of the fellow passengers.
Ensure that the used diaper is properly disposed. Use the aforementioned plastic bags in which to place used diapers just in case you cannot immediately dispose of them properly — and close the plastic bags to reduce the odor of the diaper from affecting fellow passengers. Ditch the plastic bag containing the used diaper in a proper receptacle — and if that diaper contains solid fecal matter, first dump that fecal matter in the toilet and flush it before disposing of the used diaper in a proper receptacle.
Wash your hands after changing diapers. For obvious reasons, this should go without saying — right?!?
The bottom line — I was going to say no pun intended but I changed my mind like a parent changes a diaper — is that the days of family members living within a short drive of each other seem to be gone; and the Internet has increased the accessibility of travel and destinations for families. Grandparents, for example, who live far away and cannot travel due to health reasons should still have the opportunity in interact with their grandchildren in person — and parents traveling with babies and toddlers help that opportunity become a reality. However, it is the responsibility of the parents to ensure that they do not contribute to the deterioration of the travel experience of their fellow passengers, as well as the dining experience for their fellow diners — and completely attempt to ensure that the experience of changing the diaper of a child as inconspicuously as possible can go a long way in keeping the travel and dining experience as positive as possible for all.
What are your experiences with parents who change the diapers of their children in what you believe are inappropriate areas? Are you a parent who has either advice or experiences to impart about changing the diaper of your child? Either way, what are your thoughts about the “real poop” on taking care of the biological needs of the child while away from home?