If In Doubt, Wear It

A sumo wrestler body type got the secondary pat down at security in Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport in China. Hey, wait. That ain’t no wrestler. He’s wearing enough clothes to stock a Wal-Mart!

My rookie interest in frequent flyer miles is to get from SLC to GVA or ZHR (anywhere in Switzerland) at least twice a year. The winter trips are all about skiing and a few weeks ago I booked a mid-February 18-day trip to Zurich for a super-low 35,000 miles and fees/taxes of $102 on US Airways (SLC-PHX-PHL-ZHR and the same back home, about 24 hours total). The best I’ve ever done. (I said I was a rookie.)

Skis, boots, poles, helmet, eiderdown everything. It’s a double-black-diamond packing job but I can do it with my allowable one checked bag. But now I don’t have to. I’m taking my cue from the guy who wore 70 items of clothing to avoid baggage fees.

I’m wearing the helmet, stepping into the skis, securing the pole straps, and showing enough courtesy to lift my goggles when I speak to the gate agent.

Flying out of Guangzhou and into Nairobi, my 70-item mentor wore 60 shirts and nine pairs of jeans. Airport security thought he was the Michelin man. And how about those pockets? Is there a better place to stow those batteries, thumb drives and device chargers?

Sadly, it was all that metal in his pockets that tripped the metal detector and led to a body search that proved to be mostly cotton.

I’m leaving my pockets empty.

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