What’s a Coach Roach? Inside a Flight Attendant’s Dictionary

Anyone who flies knows that us airline people seem to have our own language, to the point that I often don’t even realize I’m using terms that aren’t obvious to everyone else. Even my dear friends sometimes ask, “Wait, what does that mean again?” I’ve been told some of you might say that when reading my column. So I’m here to fix that — plus throw some in just for fun. Please, if I’ve left something off, let me know!

“All clear” – When you hear this it means the crew can visit the lav. No one is getting the random drug and alcohol test.

Bidding – This is the monthly process of telling the airline what you’d like for your next work schedule — a competition based on seniority.

The airline either prints whole schedules in advance, which you then rank in order of preference, or you give the company a (complicated!) list of priorities (e.g. night flights, 767 trips, specific days off, etc.) around which the computer builds a schedule. Factoid: some foreign airlines just randomly assign trips, full stop. Madness!

Deadhead – Everybody loves this one, but few use it correctly. It means flying as a passenger — as a company assignment. Basically, the airline needs you to be somewhere other than where you are, and you cannot or are not needed to work the flight. Best guess is it’s an old theater term.

Layover – Just want to clarify that for us this means to overnight/sleep somewhere. Time at the airport between flights is “sit time.”

Hours – When we talk about “hours,” we mean time we’re actually getting paid for. When you hear that full-time is 80 hours per month, don’t be fooled! Remember, we only get paid when the airplane is moving. A London trip from NYC is three days long but worth under 15 hours.

Furlough – When airlines need to shrink, most don’t “lay off,” they “furlough.” If the business bounces back within a certain amount of time, the airline has to offer you your job back before they can hire new stews or pilots off the street. That’s pretty great. Well, relative to forever losing your job, of course.

Pax – Passengers.

Slam-Click(er) – When a crew member goes to the hotel and does not emerge again until it’s time to leave. As in: slamming the door and clicking the lock. End of story. Can be used as a noun or a verb. (“I’m so tired I’m just gonna slam-click.” or “You won’t see her for dinner. She’s a slam-clicker.”)

You’ll mostly hear these from flight attendants:

Airplane Mode – The option on your electronic devices that will stop them from transmitting data or calls. (Hint: If you’re still texting or talking, you’re doing it wrong.)

Baby Jesus – A baby on board with (probably first-time) parents who are very, shall we say…particular. They will likely expect the entire flight to revolve around their child. It’s a handy heads up: “We got Baby Jesus in row 27 tonight.”

Coach Roach – Used wryly, usually for flight attendants who prefer working in the Main/Coach Cabin. “Business? No thanks. I’m a Coach Roach all the way, baby!”

Off – As in, turning your devices all the way “off,” vs. the word “stand-by”. (Term becoming antiquated.)

Trip Trader – This is someone hired to help rearrange your work schedule. Usually they are current or retired flight crew. It is a “real” business — you need a license to do this. How in the world they can manage 100 different people’s schedule requests is beyond me!

Terms you’ll hear from the cockpit:

Apron – Similar to “ramp.” It means an area of the tarmac, but one not used for take off and landing (i.e. where planes park or get serviced).

Blue Juice – The blue water in the toilets. Not to be confused with your bonus term, Crew Juice, a special cocktail to be enjoyed on the van ride to a long layover hotel, usually as a sort of sleep-aid after an all night flight. Recipes vary and may be subject to competitive secrecy.

Terms I’ve never used, but I’m told exist:

Crotch Watch – Nickname for walking through the cabin to do a seatbelt check. Also called a “Groin Scan.”

Landing Lips – To put on “landing lips” is to refresh one’s make-up at the end of a flight.

Slip time – Another term for an overnight layover (thanks to @brindabella24 for that one).