Showbizguru

Your problem,if I might be so bold,is that you're tarring all men with the same brush.
To suggest a few ill-mannered boors who have bothered you in the past underpin male privilege really is nonsense.
If anything I'd say in those circumstances you're the one holding all the aces

pinkcat

you would certainly scare the living daylights out of some of them... haha
I'm coping, sometimes better than others but have to carry on

satman40

When I do not want to talk, I look the other way,

You flash they will look.

Most guys can read a person quick.

The average guy could care less, too many out there looking for attention.

Anna Phor

Really sorry that happened to you. It's happened to too many other women I know, too.

nlkm9

so in the same thread but different question, Im the OP...ever since my post, I find myself doing a lot more people watching (mostly out of boredom when eating alone)
I always wonder if the couples I see together (with wedding bands) are really spouses or road warrior hookups...I know crazy, right? one of my coworkers at my last job was telling me how she met her sweetheart while they were married to others, and how they would keep their wedding bands on so people would assume they were married to each other. that surprised me!!

Lori_Q

The only rational response to someone demanding that I smile is to snarl "Say something funny."

If a person (man or woman) feels free to judge the cheerfulness of my facial expression, I feel free to judge that person's lack of self-restraint.

erdehoff

I specifically stated in the post to which you're replying here that I don't hate men and I know they're not all bad and I have a number of very good ones in my life, for which I am thankful. I'm not extrapolating from "a few ill-mannered boors" to "all men" -- I'm citing examples of my personal experience with a much, much bigger problem that is only just starting to be discussed and acknowledged. I guarantee you that you know at least one rape survivor (probably a lot more than one). Statements and attitudes like yours are a large part of the reason most rape and sexual assault victims choose not to report their attacks to law enforcement. Having done so twice, I can tell you that it's a frightening, painful, traumatic and -- for most of us -- ultimately pointless thing to do, because very few such cases even go to trial, much less lead to a conviction.

I guess this is straying a bit off topic, but from where I stand, it's all connected. You never know which creep hitting on you in the bar is going to follow you up to your room or try to slip something into your drink. They don't wear T-shirts, and they don't all come across as creeps, so yes, we do have to be a little bit paranoid.

It's a little bit like dogs -- kids who have one bad experience with a dog will sometimes still be fearful of dogs for the rest of their lives. I'm not saying men are dogs (hey, I like dogs! And men! I have two! Dogs, not men.), but that's how it is for far too many people, and not just women.

Lori, I am totally going to use that line on the next guy who orders me to smile! That's priceless!

Blondeonboard

The problem of men hitting on me while traveling alone on business has gotten so annoying, it has changed my habits on eating dinner and drinking in bars. I don't go to bars while traveling unless I am accompanied. There is no way I can hope to have a beer and be left alone in a bar. I've tried several times and it never works. I can usually eat dinner if I do so early in the evening. If I don't get there, I sometimes skip dinner and just eat a huge breakfast the next day.

Although most men back down quickly from a rejection, I've had several incidents over the last few years.

No amount of ignoring the man, asking them to leave, or being .....y works sometimes. This happened to me once in lobby of a Vegas hotel, the Wynn. A group of 4 hammered guys kept hitting on me despite me asking them to stop and walking away from them. I finally had to ask a desk agent to ask them to leave. The agent did and offered me a free room upgrade. (Thanks Wynn.)

I had a man follow me down the street yelling about how attracted he was to me in midtown Manhattan. He looked like a vagrant from his clothes, but you never know. I walked quickly and ducked into the restaurant I was hoping to have lunch at (with dining points!) and he followed me inside. I asked the hostess for help and she said he was my problem. I begged the host to help again when he kept reaching for my arm and she refused, so I ran past hoping to seek shelter in the restroom. By the time I peeked out the guy was still there at the bar. He finally left and when I went to order he had paid for two drinks for me. It was kind but completely unwanted.

I don't hate men. I'm married and trying to stay that way, despite traveling for business four months out of the year.

Annalisa12

That annoys me when a stranger says smile, cheer up or one I've had... god loves you.

I had some chipper sales lady tell me to smile as I was paying for a set of lingerie that wasn't my size. I wasn't in the mood to be chipper and she went on and on and on. In the end she said "oh, I've just realised why you are buying this" as I had started to cry. Yes my mother had just died a few days ago and I was buying her something pretty to wear under her nightgown and slippers we had planned to bury her in. She'd been sick and I figured she needed to be comfortable. Being told to smile wasn't a highlight of my day.

profnot

When I was young, I used to get hit on.

I'd point to my faux wedding ring and say I was joining my husband and I'd walk off. If I couldn't walk away just then (as when part of a crowd waiting for a light to change in Paris), I mentioned "my husband, the taxidermist."