freecia

Being uncomfortable as a solo diner might be separate from being female. I have read that some people like to sit at a bar-type area when they're dining solo as it feels less awkward to them. Perhaps the awkward feeling comes through when you're speaking with the seater. Personally, if I see an available seat I'd like, I ask for it. My money spends as well as anyone else's

A female friend who used to travel for business observed that female FA's tended to be more helpful and admiring to males traveling as the solo parent with children than women doing the same. She thought that double standard was silly.

SkiAdcock

I've encountered it. FAs take the guys coats before mine or ask them for drink or refill & ignore me. I don't see it too often at hotels.

BTW - the topic has been raised before in this forum/another thread on it. IIRC the responses were mixed. Some said no & some related instances where it did occur to them.

I think the one story (not on FT; read it in a magazine) I remember is Lillian Vernon (she of the catalog fame) was continually ignored by a FA, including on picking up the tray after the meal. LV finally got so fed up she put the tray on the floor in the aisle next to her seat so the FA couldn't ignore it at that point.

Cheers.

Tizzette

It is all well and good to advise being more assertive, but I appreciate that some are coming forth and admitting instances of being slighted. Knowing you're not the only one helps keep from taking it personally.

shippeb

I rarely travel within the US, beyond NYC-ELM flights, and overnight stays at airport hotels (usually the EWR Hilton). I have never noticed that I was treated differently from men. In fact, in 2012 I was upgraded to a just-refurbished, larger-than-expected room in the EWR Hilton because I was honest with the (male) desk clerk when he asked me how I was -- lost luggage, etc.

I have noticed that there are rarely single women in the business cabin on Star Alliance long-haul flights, but I have never felt slighted on any Star Alliance flight, regardless of the cabin I was in. And this even though I always have knitting in my hands and could thus be seen as "only a girl".

I frequently travel to the DUS area, as our company headquarters are near there. The first time I visited, I stayed at a hotel near our headquarters, because we were having a project kick-off meeting there. I was not at all surprised by the treatment I received there -- slow service, bad table, etc. No, I did not speak up, and I did behave as a doormat rather than as an assertive human being. I have never visited that hotel again. My excuse for my doormat behavior is that it was 11 years ago, the company I worked for at the time had just been acquired by the very large German company I now work for, and I was very nervous about the kickoff meeting the next day.

The hotel we now use most frequently has not only check-in staff but waiters who remember me, know where I like to sit, know that although I am not German I do just fine with the German menu, and know that I like to read with my meal and will move the candle aside to make room for my Kindle That said, it's a family-operated hotel rather than a faceless chain.

PianoPlayer

I've felt invisible on some flights; some I haven't. I guess it varies each time. Sometimes, being the quiet, invisible person has helped me. Twice, I've been allowed to board early compared to some of the noisy solo travelers (talking on the phone) . I've never experienced this in hotels.

SkiAdcock

This.

KiwionMissions

Be it in flights, and or in hotels, I think I've got that treatments when I go with my husband. Less noticeable when I do fly solo and or check in to hotel solo.

Even when I am on a higher status than him, they came (maybe) to greet me but ended up chatting with my husband?

In any hotels, even when I made the booking, paid the room, but they still call and look for Mr :v

Yes I believe intentionally or not, unfortunately we have been treated that way and sadly by our own gender more than the male.

CdnRoadWarrior6

Hello! I work as an Executive (I'm in my early 30s) and travel quite a bit. Last year, I was flying YYZ-YYC weekly for 12 months with bouts to YUL and travel quite a bit internationally for pleasure.

One thing I do find when I travel is that men are NOT as courteous. I cannot count the number of times men have budded me in line, hit me with suitcases, watched me struggle with my bags and not offer to help. It's ridiculous. Mind you, this is mainly in Canada... Canadian men are not as friendly as US men!

That said, I have had agents treat me differently before. I generally don't dress as an "executive" when I fly and have had gate agents question my status when pre-boarding and other silly things.

I just try to shrug it off as much as possible. HTH.

Annalisa12

I don't feel that I am treated differently. Often questions in overseas countries are directed to hubby and he defers them back to me e.g. if he's not wearing his glasses to read and pay the bill.

I don't want special treatment on a plane. I like being left alone. When folks interact with me, I want them to treat me the same as they would treat anyone else. I don't want them fawning over me every few minutes asking me if I want this or that.

I have more of a problem on the ground when with my husband. I said to one sales guy who totally ignored me "don't you know it is us women who make the final choices on colour, style, price etc.. you should direct your questions to me!"

Jenbel

I have to say, I don't think it's ridiculous that a complete stranger should not offer to help me with a bag I've chose to pack and carry myself. I don't think it's a sign of discourtesy - I think it's treating me like an equal who can look after my own bags.

If you are struggling with your bag - pack less

I am sometimes aware of differences in treatment because I am a female traveller - the security queue where every woman was asked if she had a laptop in her bag, while the guys were not... the customer satisfaction surveys always handed to my male travel companion on one particular airline... sometimes those doing it are blissfully unaware they are doing it, which is hard to combat.

h15t0r1an

I've been ignored and treated worse than male passengers on Swiss, Lufthansa and Finnair. Once to the extent that on Finnair I was not served a hot 2-course lunch while the two male Business Class passengers opposite, who appeared to be deadheading flight crew as one of them was in a captain's uniform, got theirs and were fawned over, getting most of the attention of the stewardess throughout the flight. After 30 hours already continuously on planes from Asia I just did not have the energy to even complain once I worked out that yes the lone stewardess really had decided I must have told her I did not need any service at all after I had declined a drink, to the extent of not serving me the lunch, not even looking in my direction and completely ignoring me.

USAir is the only US airline I've had flights on recently. Never had a problem with them. Air Canada no problem very friendly service for everyone. Air New Zealand everyone treated the same.

On my various flights on ANA, Thai, and Singapore Airlines I got the impresson that FA's working in Business Class are trained that they should take care not to ignore women passengers traveling alone. On these airlines the staff also worked out very quickly that I don't need the excessive service and fawning some of their male passengers notably seemed to feel was part of their flight experience. On all these Asian airlines especially ANA I got just the right level of friendliness and service without being fawned over or neglected.

All these flights except Air Canada were in Business. Very surprised that the airlines that seemed to treat me ever so slightly worse as a single female traveler were from the 3 Northern European nations. This is from flights all in the last 10 months or so.

nikitasingh

You must voice out your opinion. Unless you do, I don't see how things will improve. :P

Kate_Canuck

It's interesting that you used the word "invisible" to describe how you sometimes feel, because I have often found that when I ask men which superpower they wish they had, 9/10 of them say they want to be invisible - but I guess it's only fun when you choose when and where to be invisible

I haven't noticed much of a difference in treatment on flights. I do find that the tables I'm offered in restaurants when I'm travelling solo often aren't that great (but that might be because I'm alone, not because I'm female). If I don't like the table I'm offered, I request another one, and if the restaurant can't provide a table I like, I leave.

Orange County Commuter

Did you offer to help the men with their suitcases? Or are you assuming that they should help you just because you are a woman.

Sorry but this "I need help with my suitcase is one of my pet peeves" If YOU can't deal with it then YOU need to repack! I don't even accept help with my suitcase. My rule is I can't put in the overhead without assitance etc then I should check it!

And of course as you struggle with your bags you never hit anyone etc??


Sorry, but it's just as rude of you to assume that others should be your porters.

Analise

Some of the responses you've gotten here have been so nasty....YOU'RE THE STUPID ONE FOR NOT CHECKING IN YOUR BAGS. HOW DARE YOU ASK FOR HELP. YOU'RE THE RUDE ONE.

Oh please.....the claws are out. I often assist others with their bags if I can. Sometimes, two people lifting together does the trick. I understand not checking in bags because of the high cost and the likelihood the bags will be lost in transit. I see nothing wrong with asking for help. I also encourage you to offer to help others as what goes around does come around. You can always ask a flight attendant to help you as well especially the male ones.

As for people bumping into you as you wait on line, hold them accountable at the very moment they do it. You might find that one of them could even apologize.