This is an airplane, not a sleazy date.
Dec 4, 2010, 2:01 pm
#47
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 55,189
Sounds like the lady was used to sleeping with a cuddly someone, and instinctly looked for that in her sleep. Most folk don't have a lot of personal control in their sleep.
I think you earned your "good karma points" for the week and the kindness you showed in not jabbing a sleeping person with your elbow will come back to you in the future.
I think you earned your "good karma points" for the week and the kindness you showed in not jabbing a sleeping person with your elbow will come back to you in the future.
Dec 4, 2010, 2:23 pm
#48
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 8,142
Dec 4, 2010, 2:29 pm
#49
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Louisville, KY, USA
Posts: 2,583
I'm a guy and confess to sometimes hogging an armrest. If I rub your elbow it is on the armrest and not meant to be confrontational. If I detect a race for an armrest, I usually ask how we can best share, side by side, front/back or whatever. I've had issues with aggressive women hogging arm rests but never otherwise deliberately intruding into my personal space. So I have to agree with most of the comments about women being better seatmates then men.
also, I've never been kept awake by a snoring woman but I have had a few fall asleep and lean their head onto my shoulder. What's a guy to do? I hate to wake them if it is not causing me any discomfort. I've had more than one wake up and either be embarrassed or mad at me. Oh well....
Men are mostly good seat mates as well but a higher percentage are aggressive, territorial even to the point of an assault. Fight back, push, jab, spread your legs, etc if a friendly request goes unheeded. if he touches your person call the cabin crew and report it asking loudly how to file a formal complaint if it happens again.
My wife and I often fly together but on our own dollar if not upgraded we fly coach. She has to have a window seat and I an aisle. So we often have a stranger in the middle seat, male almost as often as female. She usually cedes the middle arm rest to the person in the middle. I share. But if anyone encroaches even slightly on her space after she makes a polite request that it stop, I make it clear that if that happens again I, not she, will see that it is stopped. never had a problem after that.
BTW I do not recommend spilling your drink on the encroaching person but I've seen it skillfully done. If you choose that route, be nice about it - use water.
also, I've never been kept awake by a snoring woman but I have had a few fall asleep and lean their head onto my shoulder. What's a guy to do? I hate to wake them if it is not causing me any discomfort. I've had more than one wake up and either be embarrassed or mad at me. Oh well....
Men are mostly good seat mates as well but a higher percentage are aggressive, territorial even to the point of an assault. Fight back, push, jab, spread your legs, etc if a friendly request goes unheeded. if he touches your person call the cabin crew and report it asking loudly how to file a formal complaint if it happens again.
My wife and I often fly together but on our own dollar if not upgraded we fly coach. She has to have a window seat and I an aisle. So we often have a stranger in the middle seat, male almost as often as female. She usually cedes the middle arm rest to the person in the middle. I share. But if anyone encroaches even slightly on her space after she makes a polite request that it stop, I make it clear that if that happens again I, not she, will see that it is stopped. never had a problem after that.
BTW I do not recommend spilling your drink on the encroaching person but I've seen it skillfully done. If you choose that route, be nice about it - use water.
Dec 5, 2010, 10:42 am
#50
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ZRH, MAD
Programs: LH SEN
Posts: 42
I have to admit I go for the passive-aggressive approach as well. I'm not convinced it's the best one though... Usually you're left with the feeling that the guy next to you is totally oblivious to your hints and you are the one pulling the shortest straw. Probably better in the long run to go for the direct approach.
Worst experience for me is when you're in the window seat and the guy at the aisle expect you to climbe over him to get to your seat.
Worst experience for me is when you're in the window seat and the guy at the aisle expect you to climbe over him to get to your seat.
Dec 5, 2010, 11:07 am
#51
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SEA
Programs: AS-GoldMVP,Hilton, Hyatt, Hertz
Posts: 907
I always just look at the guy in the aisle seat and say, "Hey, I'm fat, you gotta get up cause there is now way you want my fat ... in your face....."
They usually get up then..... LOL LOL
Dec 7, 2010, 12:12 pm
#52
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: South Hill, Washington
Programs: AA 1M mile Gold, AS, BA, WN, SPG Gold
Posts: 174
That is probably my biggest pet peeve. Especially when the row in front of you has their seats reclined and there just isn't ANY room to crawl over anything.
I always just look at the guy in the aisle seat and say, "Hey, I'm fat, you gotta get up cause there is now way you want my fat ... in your face....."
They usually get up then..... LOL LOL
I always just look at the guy in the aisle seat and say, "Hey, I'm fat, you gotta get up cause there is now way you want my fat ... in your face....."
They usually get up then..... LOL LOL
He had that seat upright faster than any other Southwest Customer has ever moved before, at least within my sight.
Dec 7, 2010, 2:19 pm
#53
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 55,189
Upon dealing with an extreme recliner, probably on an old WN 737, I once asked a gentleman, so-called, if he was planning on proposing to me before he put his head in my lap.
He had that seat upright faster than any other Southwest Customer has ever moved before, at least within my sight.
He had that seat upright faster than any other Southwest Customer has ever moved before, at least within my sight.
Dec 8, 2010, 6:11 pm
#54
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: IND
Programs: AA LT Gold, 1.5MM, Marriot
Posts: 1,307
GG
Dec 8, 2010, 8:47 pm
#55
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 4,735
I'm curious what some of the previous posters would say if this situation was reversed and a man was "cuddling up" to a woman in his sleep. I doubt we'd be talking about "karma points." I think what this woman did was entirely inappropriate- just as inappropriate as if a man did the same thing. While it's very nice of you to be concerned about disturbing the woman's sleep or embarrassing her, it's not really your problem and she certainly made you uncomfortable enough to mention it here. Asleep or not, it's warranted to say something. "Excuse me," as Bobette suggested, is usually the most appropriate thing to say, IMHO.
GG
GG
Last edited by CDTraveler; Dec 8, 2010 at 9:07 pm
Dec 9, 2010, 8:14 am
#56
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 55,189
I'm the one that used the phrase "karma points" and I'll call your bluff. I've had males unknown to me loll against me in their sleep in what I believe was an accidental and unintentional manner and I never felt the need to be hostile. I either said "Excuse me" or something similar until I got their attention, or slipped out of the seat for a walk, and found them in a different position when I got back. I put sleeping "touchers" in a whole different category than conscious touchers.
Dec 9, 2010, 8:31 am
#57
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: IND
Programs: AA LT Gold, 1.5MM, Marriot
Posts: 1,307
I'm the one that used the phrase "karma points" and I'll call your bluff. I've had males unknown to me loll against me in their sleep in what I believe was an accidental and unintentional manner and I never felt the need to be hostile. I either said "Excuse me" or something similar until I got their attention, or slipped out of the seat for a walk, and found them in a different position when I got back. I put sleeping "touchers" in a whole different category than conscious touchers.
I completely agree that sleeping touchers are different from conscious touchers. My point was that in my experience, everyone doesn't seem to react that way.
Based on some of the posts I've seen, if a woman posted a new thread and said, "I just got home from this flight where the man sitting next to me fell asleep, ending up with his head on my shoulder and his attempt to cuddle with me. I was shocked and felt violated, but I didn't know what to do and didn't feel I could do anything to change the situation," I just wonder if the response would be so benign, or if there would be an "evil men" bandwagon. Just MHO, but men and women often are not treated equally in such situations, even when equally inappropriate behavior exists.
GG