For me, there's no "rank order of infidelily". It doesn't matter to me if the boyfriend/husband slept with a prostitute, mistress or one-night stand. A bond of trust has been broken in any of those situations.
As for how I'd react? I'm single at the moment, but if the guy was my boyfriend, that would be grounds to end the relationship then and there. If the guy was my husband, I may try harder to forgive him and save the marriage. But in any case, I would consider the relationship to be seriously damaged and would want to try to figure out why it happened and how to keep it from happening again.
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For those women who say that ANY intercourse, no matter how non-intimate, is a deal-breaker, at the other end of the spectrum how do you categorize masturbation? Is that a deal-breaker? What if your man (or woman) pays a woman (or another man) for manual stimulation to completion?
Is the line that any other person is involved in any way?
What if your man (or woman) masturbates in front of you but calls out another woman's (or man's) name at climax? Is that just a big fight or a deal breaker?
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For me, there is ranking. Emotional cheating is much worse than physical ones. Not that it's OK either way, but there are different shades of grays.
On the other hand, I do believe in legalizing prostitute. The industry is not going anywhere, there will always be customers, and therefore we should protect the women who chose that career. Hot topics though.
For those women who say that ANY intercourse, no matter how non-intimate, is a deal-breaker, at the other end of the spectrum how do you categorize masturbation? Is that a deal-breaker? What if your man (or woman) pays a woman (or another man) for manual stimulation to completion?
Is the line that any other person is involved in any way?
What if your man (or woman) masturbates in front of you but calls out another woman's (or man's) name at climax? Is that just a big fight or a deal breaker?
This is why one doesn't RUSH into marriage! These "deal breakers" can't be hidden for long so if you're with a defect who starts calling someone else's name in the midst of passion and/or pays for someone to arouse him/her, you find this out before you marry and get rid of that person ASAP. This is one of the many purposes of dating.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Analise
This is why one doesn't RUSH into marriage! These "deal breakers" can't be hidden for long so if you're with a defect who starts calling someone else's name in the midst of passion and/or pays for someone to arouse him/her, you find this out before you marry and get rid of that person ASAP. This is one of the many purposes of dating.
So you would dump a guy you were dating if he called out 'oh, Jodie Foster!' in a moment of passion...or, say, while in the shower?
And is self-stimulation inlcuded in this weeding-out process?
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Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy behaviour. I'd think it weird if a boyfriend/husband didn't self-pleasure at least occasionally. I would only worry if it became a replacement for the real thing with me!
Fantasies are also normal. Yeah, I'd be upset if, during masturbation, mutual masturbation, or intercourse if he called out another person's name. But it would be the start of a conversation, not a 100% deal-breaker. I would be more upset if he always fantasised about another person and had an emotional connection to that person. Like the OP said, emotional cheating is worse than the physical cheating - at least to me.
If he paid someone to either watch him masturbate or manually stimulate him - that is definitely (IMHO) cheating.
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Two points, the first on topic…
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redhead
....Like the OP said, emotional cheating is worse than the physical cheating....
Red, I do not believe that I took sides morality-wise if there is a rank order of cheating and, if so, what that should be. Moreover, as my question was directed at women, I don’t think that I get a vote anyhow, and so if I implied a rank order it was unintended.
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Red, I do not believe that I took sides morality-wise if there is a rank order of cheating and, if so, what that should be. Moreover, as my question was directed at women, I don’t think that I get a vote anyhow, and so if I implied a rank order it was unintended.
Jailer I was actually referring to the post by adamark.
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These "deal breakers" can't be hidden for long so if you're with a defect who starts calling someone else's name in the midst of passion and/or pays for someone to arouse him/her, you find this out before you marry and get rid of that person ASAP. 
This is one of the many purposes of dating.
It is high. It is far. It is GONE !!!!! 
