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Old Mar 29, 2001, 10:39 am
  #1  
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A taste of Brooklyn

The big day has finally arrived. It is off to visit the one of the most famous of the boroughs of New York Brooklyn. Yes the time has arrived it is off on the inaugural tour of the Dhammer53 Brooklyn Reality Tour®
Starring dhammer53
Directed by dhammer53
Produced by dhammer53
Executive producer Catman
But first things first. It has been a tough day touring around downtown and midtown with Tom911 all day yesterday and ending the night dragging my sorry self home from the Idlewild Bar, the first official group function of the Catman DO III. So upon waking I do a few stretching exercises and after showering peer out the window across the street and down 39 floors to see the faint glimmer of yes an orange light. Can not read it from here but from many other threads I know what it says - HOT It is time to begin fortifying! Along with about half the guests of the Millenium Hilton who have forsaken the $21 continental breakfast I dash across the street with the anticipation of a horny teenager on a date with “the sure thing.” That’s right I am a first timer, a virgin as they say. I am going to explore the forbidden delights of Krispy Kreme.
Finally after an indeterminable time that can only be measured by a third grader waiting on a hot spring day for the last hour of school to get over I reach the front of the line. Haven’t these souls in front of me did their research, all this I will take one of those and one of those and one of those. Give me the hot glazed only. And with the deftness and agility of a Native American fisherman after spawnign salmon she goes over to the fast moving line and using a small spear selects some hot glazed ones off the moving line just moments after they have been drenched with a deluge of drippy glaze. I pay and then hurriedly sit down to partake of this moment that according to some I have been waiting all my life for. Yes! They fully meet the FSF quotient and at a very high level!

(footnote: FSF quotient is a referral to the fact that all sweet baked goods and pastries are about equal combinations of some flour, some sugar, and some sort of fat. If you only have sugar and fat you have candy. If you only have flour and fat you have a biscuit, and not one of those scrawny misnamed cookies that the british call a biscuit. And if you only have flour and sugar well you only have flour and sugar.)

But man can not live off of fsf only and since there are no good delis in the mall located at the World Trade Center it is off on the subway to midtown to find a suitable eatery. Accorded to tom911 a good deli is one where cops are eating. I walk around for awhile don’t see any cops eating but spy a deli that is packed with folks eating and even a line of folks waiting to order. It further fits my criteria that it is not seemingly part of a chain. Order a egg and pepper sandwich, oj, and coffee. Should be enough to carry me through to lunchtime only a couple of hours away.
A couple of days ago before leaving home I receive a cryptic note from the producer of the Dhammer53 Brooklyn Reality Tour® that I will be plucked from the street in front of my hotel at between 11:30 and 11:45 am. I will recognize the vehicle as a “van with a lot of open-mouthed Flyertalkers inside.” So about 11:25 I meet up outside the hotel with tom911 and we wait and we wait in the biting cold.

according to my copy of the Farmers’ Almanac the spring solstice was a couple of days ago and where I live we put away our winter togs and got out shorts and tee shirts. Here where I am standing is as cold or due to wind chill factor colder than any day ever gets back at home.

Just as I am about to phone the producer down the street comes a green van with tinted windows and an unmistakable small chrome art deco depiction of a prop airplane sitting on the dash board.
It turns out the seating for the tour is going to be ala southwest. First arrivals get to sit first but with a great distinction, the seat in front is a first class view and the seat in the middle of the back row is a steerage view. So tropicalflyer has the first class seat and she is going to hang on to that sucker as if she has a printed Dhammer53 Brooklyn Reality Tour® issued boarding pass. Annas & Newself have the business class seats in the middle of the van. And moi has the middle of the rear seat with the legendary Tolarian Wind & tom911 on opposite sides. The pilot and guide is none other than Mr. Dhammer53 himself. We make introductions all around get are butts planted and find out that we have our own personal bottles of water. Not just any bottle of water, but the infamous Poland Springs bottled water.
We had been previously warned in the cryptic email of some days ago that we were to refrain from doing what flyertalkers do when they congregate. (keep the talking to a minimum in other words)
Almost immediately our guide begins explaining to us some of the landmarks that are in our area of town. First one of the many typical New York City icons to a failed American corporation the Woolworth building. And next to it the city hall. And then off across the Brooklyn bridge but first a quick word by our guide of the double deck expressway that we see across the East River. Turns out that some relative of somebody didn’t want the neighborhood to go so forced somebody to build the highway so as not to have the neighborhood razed. Obviously have not heeded the warning about not talking to my seatmates about ff programs so some of the explanations are not fully heard nor passed on to you the reader. If you want the full tour bribe, kidnap, coerce, cajole, or pray that it’s offered again in the future. Then do not hesitate, sign up immediately.
On the bridge we get an explanation of some sick guy laying in his death bed and directing the construction of the bridge. Then were across and off the bridge and we hear of how some neighborhood gangster kept everything together by walking his pet lion around. (Commander Catcop should have used a lion.) There are views of the Manhattan skyline and the Verrazano Bridge and stories of the old Brooklyn ferry slips, Brooklyn navy yard, Statue of Liberty, government island, ships arriving through the ages as we pass Fort Hamilton and Toys r us. Somehow Toys r us was the first large anchor tenant of a mall in Brooklyn and according to our guide this was the most significant change in the city since it was first settled as Nieuw Amersfoort around 1660.
But we have been traveling and sightseeing plenty enough. It is time to fortify at what has been billed to be one of the highlights of the Dhammer53 Brooklyn Reality Tour® Lunch at Coney Island. More specifically lunch at Nathan’s at Coney Island. Of course the cold biting wind takes this moment to change from a cold biting wind to a cold biting wind with rain and Nathan’s has all of its windows closed and no open air or outside seating happening one bit. The menu is a cornucopia of offerings from hot dog nuggets to some sort of chow mein. For me though it is the original Nathan’s, fries and fresh squeezed lemonade. We all stand by the window and gaze out at the cold biting wind and rain imagining what it might have been to be here 80 years ago or something. LOL, we really stand by the window and discuss the merits of FF programs.
Back into the tour van and off to many other neighborhoods including Seagate, a community surrounded by concertina wire that are fearless guide tried to break into as a teenager. Down the Beltway Parkway which is some sort of belt around Brooklyn pass Brighton Beach, Manhattan Beach and Sheepshead Bay. Pass Jamaica Bay where some uppity Brooklynites live and it stinks in the summer. Thank goodness for the cold biting wind I guess.
Somehow it is all starting to blend together when suddenly our guide gets a new inflection in his voice. I previously had asked him where his accent was from to verify that he really was a native. Turns our we are now in Flatbush and traveling down the street of where the childhood home of dhammer53 is located. We learn how he could look out his window as a child and see chickens, ducks and goats. In other words as he looked down the dirt roads, that were not paved yet, he actually was a suburbanite. Oh well to each his own, perhaps one day I will reminisce with him about what it was like living in a true “bedroom community” of a city during the fifties.
And now it is doubtful but possible that the famous bakery, according to our guide when you visited someone’s house you could tell what was thought of you if the offering was from this famous bakery, is opened. Once again having not paid to much attention I am going to take a wild stab and guess the name of the Bakery as Leon’s. That’s not important, what is important is the Charlotte Russe. FSF quotient high, very, very high.
Our guide shepherds us into the place where a long line extends throughout the place. But there are several persons working behind the counter and things are moving pretty fast.
Now when we first arrived I asked our guide what was good. Having had a black & white on the taste of Manhattan tour yesterday with tom911 I wanted something different. Dhammer53 points me towards the refrigerated section of the counter and a little offering inside a red and white cardboard cup. As he is describing how as children they would kill for it the little old lady in front of us turns and smiles. Dan is all over her like a bee on honey, “you know what I am talking about, you know what I am talking about.” Well it is time for magic to find out. I order one and am immediately questioned. “Only one?” I stammer, I hesitate, and I make a grave error and only order one.
I head outside into the cold biting wind as the anticipation has overcome the fact that the weather is still uncomfortable and dig in.
I am eating sugared clouds, and down through the clouds to some yellow cake and the little old lady comes up to me, asks how it is and states that it was her husband’s favorite while he was still alive.
We all hang around a little bit more discussing more nostalgia of the bakery and neighborhood and then back into the van. Reverse seating loading, steerage first, then business class and first class have their own entryway.
Turns out our guide has purchased some ruglah(sp)
Now some folks towards the front of the van have decided that they are going to save themselves for the Catman DO. Geez that is still four hours away. Probably will not eat for 5. So the box ends up back with Tolarian Wind and I. We have no qualms. There are these little pastry things inside with different types of fillings and whatnot. And they are good. Later that evening I offer one to dgolds and he attests that they are not as good as his mothers but they are good. FSF quotient high.
Now were traveling down some street of merchants where we learn that our guide was tortured every Saturday by his mother and sisters by being dragged out to go shopping. I immediately sympathize since I only shop once a year on the morning of the 24th of December. Also can tell when I have been visiting an area too long as I will become bored and start having desires to participate in merchandizing at the retail level. But this trip has not been too long and definitely not boring.
Traveling now pass maybe the Brooklyn Museum or maybe it is the Library – anyway it is Brooklyn and suddenly it is time to say adieu or whatever they say in Brooklyn as we pass Brooklyn Heights and some other neighborhoods where the different ethic neighbors never acknowledge the presence of the other and across the Manhattan Bridge back into where else Manhattan. What a tour. Across the Brooklyn Bridge and into Brooklyn and then across the Manhattan Bridge into Manhattan. Can't get any better than that. We hear about the Lower Eastside and the Bowery and the two diamond districts. Finally the tour ends as we drive towards another icon of a failed American corporation, the PanAm building.
Okay it is normal to tip your guide when it is all over and so here is a tip. If you ever lose your day job you could very easily make a go of this. Why with the expertise we have on flyertalk we can easily set you up with all the marketing talent you could ever need to become the most successful guide agency for the exploration of Brooklyn.
Dhammer53 Brooklyn Reality Tours®

Edited for accuracy and appropriateness

[This message has been edited by magic111 (edited 03-29-2001).]
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Old Mar 29, 2001, 11:09 am
  #2  
 
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Wonderful report, magic111. My two favorite parts were the FSF footnote, and your discreet silence on what happened immediately after leaving Idlewild.
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Old Mar 29, 2001, 12:08 pm
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i've got only one thing thing to say...
I'VE GOT SHOTGUN NEXT TIME!
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Old Mar 29, 2001, 1:44 pm
  #4  
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and your discreet silence on what happened immediately after leaving Idlewild
Why my dear Kitty Hawk that is to be one of the highlights of my upcoming Taste of Manhattan report.
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Old Mar 29, 2001, 1:51 pm
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Magic, the name of the bakery was Leon's.
Tolarian Wind was in the back with you, not mrkey. Hey, lots of flyertalk names this weekend.

In general, the report was correct. BTW, Tropical called 'co-pilot' as soon as she got to the van.

I must say, a very nice report. Were you taking notes, or do you have a good memory?

Dan
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Old Mar 29, 2001, 2:32 pm
  #6  
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My apologies to Tolarian Wind and MrKey whom I now remember sitting next to at the dinner.
Maybe?
Well for the sake of accuracy I will edit as appropriate.
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Old Mar 29, 2001, 5:10 pm
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Very, very nice report on a trip I'm sorry to have missed, although it certainly would have been unfair for me have taken up a space.

I will confine myself to four comments:

1. This surely must be the first time John Roebling has been described as "some sick guy"

2 & 3. At Nathans, did you eat the fries from a cup, or a bag? How slowly did the ketchup run from the spigot?

4. As far as "adieu or whatever they say in Brooklyn", trust me, you really don't want to know.

RichG, a Manhattan native... however: father from Williamsburg, mother from Bensonhurst!
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Old Mar 30, 2001, 2:18 am
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I called shotgun before Newself. Of course, I have higher elite status than he does.
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Old Mar 30, 2001, 5:43 am
  #9  
 
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Magic, my dear friend,

If I leave a brown paper bag of small unmarked bills in the third phone booth from the left at midnight, could I persuade you to edit your next post?
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Old Mar 30, 2001, 6:07 am
  #10  
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great reading - thank you.

and I top Kitty Hawk's offer by one swiss chocolate ... but I must get to know ...

and the Charlotte Russe. FSF quotient high, very, very high. was my mother's very best desert recipee!
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Old Mar 30, 2001, 9:48 am
  #11  
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Kitty Hawk you can't buy friendship
My lips are sealed. But speaking of lips will you please answer one ? for me.
Why do new yorkers pronounce the ou dipthong in Houston Steet like the dipthong in thousand instead of like the dipthong in say Houston, Texas. Of course this ? is not quite printing out like I want but surely you remember our conversation as we encountered each other on Houston Stree.

Open ? for anyone. What is a Flatbush?

Rudi - sorry my continued friendship with Kitty Hawk is more important than chocolate. Of course your mother's recipee for Charlotte Russe just might unseal my lips.
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Old Mar 30, 2001, 1:03 pm
  #12  
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Flatbush......

It's easy, most of Brooklyn was flat.
And yes, there were bushes....

Also, Flatlands....flat lands. I couldn't make this up.

Flyertalk Brooklyn expert,
Dan
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Old Mar 30, 2001, 1:18 pm
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Flatbush=Vlacke Bosch (original Dutch)
HOWston was around long before HYOOston, no matter what those Texans say.

Magic, I would never dream of trying to purchase friendship, but silence is another matter entirely. And we have Swiss chocs in NY too. As well as Belgian, French...what do you like? And Charlotte Russe was my grandfather's favorite dessert. I have my grandmother's recipe.

And as for Rudi, I don't know whether I'm more hurt that you would be so unchivalrous as to try to pump Magic for information, or that you only outbid me by ONE chocolate!

[This message has been edited by Kitty Hawk (edited 03-30-2001).]
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Old Mar 30, 2001, 10:01 pm
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My dear Magic111: I'm, afraid it is the Texans who mispronounce "Houston". The street dates from Nieu Amsterdam days, and it means (or meant), in Dutch, "street with houses". Two itinerant salesmen from New York founded Houston in the early 19th century, naming the city after General Sam Houston, and somehow a different pronunciation took hold there. At this point it's safe to say that anyone who pronounces "Houston Street" and "Houston, Texas" the same way is wrong.

The story about the founding of Houston is on the Internet somewhere... I'll try to find it.

[This message has been edited by RichG (edited 03-30-2001).]
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Old Mar 31, 2001, 11:01 am
  #15  
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Thanks for all the helpful information. Perhaps Dan had talked about it on the tour and it was just one of those things that I missed. Can't reiterate enough that everyone should follow my advice and bribe, kidnap, coerce, cajole, or pray to get a tour.
One other thing I will never miss my Houston subway stop again because I did not hear the conductor say it.
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