DJ Bitterbarn

Preamble:

For whatever reason I’ve had this desire to visit Singapore for near-on eight years now and every time I thought I was getting close something changed and I had to postpone. The first big one was modifying my plans from a single ticket to two. Then bmi disappeared and we used all those miles for a wedding trip anyway. Then we needed three tickets. Then we moved a couple times, then the Aeroplan reward chart changed a few times, then scamcharges….. then anything really. But the potential loss of 60k Aeroplan miles with the seven-year expiry and the Stars promotion of 2012 was enough to push me to start making concrete plans.

The booking started seriously last December (2012) when I started looking at dummy bookings for reward tickets and planning routings because, fact: this is the correct lead time if you want to be sure you will get the flights you want. It’s not three weeks, not two months, not eight months. Twelve. Months. And then of course our plan changed three times, but we’ll gloss over that in Part 1.

This TR will, then, cover the following routing, made up of an unholy mix of reward and paid tickets for various combinations of adults and a two-year-old in various stages of linked ticket-ness and of accompaniment (but never actually unaccompanied) across a small cross-section of *A and a couple of trains:
KRK-WAW-YYZ-YXE-YVR-LAX-ICN-SIN-IST-WAW-KRK-WAW-YYZ-WAW-KRK



Additionally, this is going to try and get some closure to questions asked on:
- What to do with a UM who is technically not U.
- What to do in Singapore for five days.
- What to eat when you’re in Singapore and who should show you how to make it.
- What SIM should I get in Canada if I don’t want voice, just data.

Additionally additionally, I should define two terms:
MrsBarn - pretty obvious
BtY - Barn the Younger

Sorry about the weird mix of pictures and text. Sometimes on this trip I was all about taking pictures, sometimes I wasn't. Sometimes they didn't turn out. Sometimes they did. But this TR has somewhere between 500 and 600 pictures, and if I did it right you should be able to click on any of them for full-size. Hopefully.

Also, as you have probably guessed by this preamble (and have not guessed by the fact that it has taken me four months to write this) I’m having a hard time being concise with this report so it is going to be text-heavy. I have a hard time being concise in general. I have also never aspired to being a professional writer, though. So take that as a warning or invitation, depending on how you feel about unprofessional text.

The index:
Part 1: The Waiting Game
Part 2: Polish Rail and an IC sale
Part 3: It’s going to be a LOT of Dreamliner to and from Toronto
Part 4: Arriving at Pearson and the Holiday Inn Toronto Airport East
Part 5: A bloody complicated booking
Part 6: Why, Why C?
Part 7: In-N-Out of LAX FTW
Part 8: This is LAX?
Part 9: First time to ICN
Part 10: 36-ish Hours in Seoul
Part 11: Singapore Airlines Regional Business Class
Part 12: Five or Six Days in Singapore depending on your definition of “five” and “six”
- Day One - New Year's Eve
- Day Two - The Touristy Day
- Day Three - The Nature Day
- Day Four - The Food Day
- Day Five - Go West!
- Day Six - Departure Day
Part 13: Why it pays to care about cabin refitting - SQ Longhaul J
Part 14: The real reason anyone connects in IST
Part 15: TK to Warsaw to finish off my Aeroplan balance… and then the train
Part 16: Nearly Deja Vu on the LO Dreamliner to YYZ
Part 17: Dreamtime on the Dreamliner

DJ Bitterbarn

The booking started in January 2013, when I booked the major reward portion of our itinerary, as I believed it had to be done on the Aeroplan website. Not going into details for many reasons, but let’s just say I was somewhat mistaken, but in the good way, and also I still needed to phone in and add a layover in Seoul.

In March, Asiana pulled F from the ORD-ICN flights... kind of. Nobody could agree on anything. Aeroplan says business. Asiana says business, but you can still buy first on the web. Asiana agent on the phone says first. All I know for sure is we’ve got two confirmed F seats, somehow, and if we end up in J Aeroplan says we can get a milage credit. But ultimately we had a big problem: Do we stick with it and hope for the best, or do we try to move our flights to the JFK flight which by this point was filling up fast and meant we’d need to leave my parents’ place on Christmas day. The solution, eventually, was to phone up Aeroplan and move our flights to LAX, and somehow at the same time route via YEG, which is nearer where we wanted to be anyway. Except for the part that it’s an awful connection and I haven’t told MrsBarn this yet. Total additional cost: $200 in scamcharges for AC flights plus change fees.

In June, we caught a huge break in a roundabout way. LO cancelled our flight to YYZ, except they didn’t tell anyone. It just doesn’t exist. Except the part where it does exist and the AC codeshare still shows up on expertflyer but with everything zeroed out. I discovered this when I could no longer pull up my reservation on Aeroplan. Actually, they never fixed that part and I never saw my reservation on Aeroplan again. The good part? This isn’t even the weird part. The weird part is that Aeroplan has no idea this is going on. They still show us as two J seats on the 16th. LOT, even stranger, ALSO claims everything’s fine. They show us as two J seats as well. Except where you can’t buy tickets on that flight anymore. And I need to buy a ticket on that flight for a “U”M (a.k.a. A M that is ticketed as U but who is not U).

To make matters stranger, the 15th rolls around and now not only are we confirmed on a nonexistent flight, we’re actually confirmed on two flights on different days, neither of which will matter if we can’t get this other ticket.

So I phone up AP. After far too much calling, call-backing, and stress, it’s sorted. LO eventually did own up to cancelling the flight and AC elevated my call and promised to call me back. Right. But true to their word, after 20 minutes of stress late at night the phone rings. It’s the Very Special Support Desk. Honestly, I wish I could talk to the Very Special Support Desk every day. It was nothing short of magical. And because I left writing this too long, I’ll let the email transcript to a friend explain it:
Also, unlike the last major change, this time it took ten seconds to process my CC, not 20 nerve-wracking minutes of “I really hope they don’t come back and cancel it all”.

Digressing from airline ticketing, for a moment, I also pulled the trigger in April on Studio 41st in Seoul for two nights, the IC Warsaw for one night in December, one night at the HI Toronto Airport on points, and five nights at the New Majestic in Singapore. That last one is a killer, but I’d got a pretty reasonable tax refund that’ll cover it and after months of back and forth in my head I realized that our hotel choices basically came down to that or the V Lavender, and the proximity to Chinatown is a big factor but the small hotel factor, shophouse with a pool, and private patio with outdoor bathtub will be worth the money (Spoiler: it was).

So back to the flights. By …. I want to say July…. we had most of it booked except for the YYZ-YXE segment for BtY. I had procrastinated just a bit too long on this one and we lost the one remaining award seat on that flight and fares were extortionate. Luckily, the illustrious canadiancow was good enough to offer a discount code that saved a not-insignificant amount and we were finally ready to fly (beyond getting BtY from YXE to YYZ, but that wasn’t my responsibility. That fell to my parents). The only thing left to do was phone up the airlines and get our tickets linked.

I’m not going to go into details about this, but in short: LO was wonderful at this and the agents AC really need to seek treatment for cranially-induced rectal distension. But you’ll get to hear more about that in Part 5.

DJ Bitterbarn

Train: PKP InterRegio
Route: Kraków Gł. - Warszawa Centralna
Carrier: PKP TLK 2nd Class
Seats: Somewhere in the 80s?

After eleven months of planning and replanning and obsessing over the most mundane details we finally set off. Two adults, one two-year-old, two huge bags, three smaller bags, and lots of promise and hope that it would all come together without a catastrophic hitch. Because it was planned so far in advance we didn’t have any super early mornings or late nights planned and so the taxi to the airport showed up at a comfortable noon. No problem, everything was loaded and we were on the way to Kraków Główny (main) station. Of course the renovations were nowhere near complete, like our own little BBI, but the platforms are relatively-well redone and because there was a bit of a crowd we decided to just hang out (also because the only way to get to the heated shopping centre is by stairs and, well, bags). Sooner than later, though, our train pulled in and everyone piled on; this was going to be full. Thankfully, for one reason or another, PKP believes it to be in their best interest to stick families with small children together in the same compartment, which meant that instead of eight people in a small space we had three regular-sized people and two small people. That was quite a relief because everyone else was packed in. Not standing-room only, but not much seating room left.










Now what else is there to say about the trip up to WAW? It takes about three hours if all goes well and you can buy stuff from the bar. And you stop in Warszawa Wschodnia before Centralna. Easy.

Fine, I should say more. What I can also say is that for once we decided to buy stuff from the bar. This time it was right around lunch so we decided we’d get Pierogi. Now anyone who knows Pierogi knows that there’s quite a range of quality between edible and spectacular (I like Pierogi and think they’re hard to do wrong) but anyone who knows Poland knows to not trust PKP to do anything too right. I was expecting mediocre and was very pleasantly surprised when they delivered quite good. So good, in fact, that we got another. So my compliments to WARS (the catering company for PKP). When they decide to try it really can be more than just 7Days croissants, instant coffee, and bottled water (see: What you get in a first-class sleeper in Poland -or- the second-last TR that I never posted).


Anyway, three hours did fly by a bit only offset by the rather terrible omen of a small screw winging its way from the largest of our bags and the taxi driver somehow managing to further break the handle-extender mechanism of my carry-on (so that instead of extending one in every 20 pulls, it now extends zero times out of all the pulls). Now that screw, as I discovered after we got off the train, was the one that held one of the handle arms to the handle itself. So the largest bag (somewhere in the 28”-to-82” range) now did not have a handle and my carry-on (which is DECEPTIVELY heavy) now has to be carried. Three hours in. This is actually not nearly as bad as it sounds, but the only time we need those two handles to work is the walk from Warszawa Centralna to the Intercontinental. Basically right now.

Anyway, we somehow managed to make it work. I hooked my carry-on to the big bag, then pulled that and the other big bag, while MrsBarn and BtY walked with the backpack and pulled MrsBarn’s carry-on. Thankfully the IC was chosen for many reasons, one of which being the proximity to Centralna (but also so close we’d never get a taxi). So after a very strenuous and admittedly sweaty walk we arrived at our first night:

Hotel: Intercontinental Warsaw
Rate: EUR56 (fine, this was a regular rate, not a sale. But the title rhymes.)

Cards on the table, I’m not an RA. I know I SHOULD be an RA, but I just don’t have the fortune to spend many nights at ICs and while I like the idea of the free mini-bar I think MrsBarn would have killed me if I’d spent $500 for one night of free mini-bar. So I am not. Yet. I think that Jason8612 has forgiven me for this monumental lapse and I’ll hopefully revisit the idea the near future. But believe it or not today I think my non-RA status paid off with a larger room. I think.

As a relevant aside, I have this compulsion to switch to the local language even (especially) if my command of that local language is only ten words, three of which are specifically devoted to obtaining caffeine. I can’t help it and it almost always falls apart hilariously. But I keep doing it. All. The. Time. Polish, however, is a language that I have actual certification in: I am OFFICIALLY terrible to a degree that it is recognized by the European community. Take that, grammar.

Anyhow, what inevitably occurred is that I was able to carry out the entire check-in process in Polish and only needed to fill in the blanks for maybe 20% of the conversation. Maybe even just 10%. Included in that 10%, though, was this bit about why it was important that I did not want a mini-bar. I think it was something about room availability, but when the girl at the desk explained it I swear I heard something like “well if you don’t want a mini-bar then you’re in luck because I can put you in a smaller room” which had to be wrong. It just didn’t make sense. Could I have heard that backwards? Probably? At this point, though, I wasn’t ready to argue it. I just wanted to get rid of these bags and did it really matter what room we were in? It’s the IC. It may not be grand to many, but in our house we have low requirements for luxury and I paid less for it than a lot of places we’ve stayed (or would stay during this trip).

Anyway, what happens is we get to the elevator and hit the button (eventually) for the 12th floor, noting very clearly that it falls into the “apartments” category and not the “guest rooms” category. I guess since we had no requirement for a mini-bar they gave us an apartment? Well whatever the reason it was actually a really nice room. It was certainly nice enough for us and the kitchen was an added bonus so that we could just make our own breakfast in the morning. Which we did. Because no sense getting a big breakfast when our next stop is the lounge.


The Kitchen at the IC


The Bathroom


The Bed


View from the kitchen


View of the kitchen


Bathtub. I don’t entirely remember why I took it, but there it is.


The second-best view of the Palace of Culture and best actual photo I got.

Now at this point we made a small error in judgement when we decided to:
1) Go see the pool
2) Go shopping
3) Come back and swim.

I’m pretty sure I mentioned the part about travelling with a two-year-old, didn’t I? Well said two-year-old thought today that napping on the train was way overrated and by 5pm was more or less heading straight to a sleepocalypse. But when we saw the pool it was the greatest thing ever invented and now we have to swim. NOW. Except we sort of needed to go out shopping for some last-minute Polish necessities like sheet music of Christmas carols and breakfast for tomorrow. So the whole way we had to try and explain “yes we’re going swimming but after we come back” which to a sleep-deprived toddler is basically “blah blah swim blah blah blah” in any language you want. It would have gone exceptionally poorly except that BtY never made it half an hour and was asleep on my shoulder before we hit store two. So BtY and I returned to the hotel and MrsBarn hunted down her Christmas carols. At some point MrsBarn returned and I went downstairs to hunt out some food, finding the kebab place downstairs serving up adequate dinner for as far as I wanted to walk. It wasn’t our local kebab place (which is actually really good, even by non-KRK standards) but it was edible.

Two hours later after a very poorly-timed nap, BtY was up and we finally headed up to the pool. Unfortunately the fog had really socked in and the visibility from the pool was best measured in microns. No sightseeing for us tonight, just the pool.

Now don’t get me wrong, the pool was very nice and everyone appreciated the swim, the smallest member of our party the most. BtY kept dragging pool floaties in to try and ride, and learned a lot about jumping into the water. I sincerely hope nobody was bothered by this but it was firmly out of my control at this point.

After the pool we headed back to the room and crashed. Tomorrow would be a busy day and we’d need the energy to fight jet lag.

DJ Bitterbarn

Now our day started much before the flight with cereal and cartoons in the room. This was seen by all as a good idea. Soon, however, it was time to get dressed and head downstairs to the taxi. Fifteen minutes and maybe PLN40 later we found ourselves at WAW - for many reasons one of my preferred EU airports. Today it was preferred for the simple reason that it wasn’t crowded and we were up to the business-class checkin in maybe two minutes from exiting the cab. Two minutes of lugging some overloaded suitacases, mind, but still only two minutes. The agent had very little difficulty checking us in, even though we were spread through two cabins and we had to explain that the two-year-old in PE would sit in J and the adult in J would sit in PE. No issues, it would appear, although the agent didn’t get my none-too-subtle hints that we’d like to know what it takes for an upgrade. For, you see, this was not me being a free upgrade scammer but in fact a few weeks earlier LO had dropped a number of videos about the “new LOT” on Google+ including a very interesting one about their new “upgrade bidding” system which was amazingly interesting but lacking in more or less any details. Then, two days later, they pulled the upgrade video but not the post. When I went to subtly try and get more info about this I was disappointed to find the agent completely in the dark (although I have recently received a number of offers on future LO flights for Y>PE for something like $250-300 or ~750zł, both in advance and right on the plane. Although if you’re going to do it on the plane you should really be up on your exchange rates because I remember hearing the FA give an approximate conversion which seemed way off). I will have to try and do this for our next flights to Canada, though, so we might get a chance yet, provided I can get this report done before then.

Lounge: Bolero Lounge WAW

So in our respective cabins after all, we were given our boarding cards and we were off to security, where we finally made it through and up to the LOT lounge only to be told we should probably head down to the Bolero lounge. As the Bolero lounge is one of my preferred lounges in WAW anyway (although I wasn’t sure if it had also been renovated along with the nice LOT lounge) we headed through passport control and down the stairs. Sure enough, Bolero had been renovated and we settled into a few seats in the dining area (some of the few free seats) to wait it out.

And wait we did.


Emirates 777 getting ready to fly


The new green wall at the Bolero lounge

While our flight was only delayed at most an hour and a half, it certainly felt like longer. We did manage to get a bit of food and drink into everyone and BtY took a detour to visit the play centre outside, but the delays ticked on and on. Finally it was time to pack everyone up and head to the plane. It was only upstairs, but boarding at gate 15 was already chaotic. It wasn’t WizzAir’s boarding-wedge chaotic but the lines stretched in every direction and not everyone knew if they were even in the right line. Some helpful agent, though, did come through looking for Business/*G/PE passengers so we jumped on that, fulfilling two of three plus having a small child.


Flight: LO 042
Route: WAW-YYZ
Aircraft: B787-8
Seats: 3E (J), 3F (J), 4F (PE)

Settling in was easy, we were actually split in the J/PE cabin by only the galley: this was of course not an accident, it was carefully planned so that we were the minimum distance apart. MrsBarn had volunteered to sit in PE, so BtY and I got ourselves sorted in J. First impressions of the cabin were that it’s very nice. The LO787 is spacious and comfortable, very well designed, and the blue/grey/white colour scheme works nicely. The windows ARE as big as I thought and you really do see much more, much more easily. I never really noticed a problem with the dimming/darkening time, but then again I wasn’t the one in charge of the windows so they stayed dark the whole time. But the blue effect was pretty cool and it felt dark enough, although I wasn’t trying to sleep.


On board the LO 787




Those are some big windows


Windows controls, guest photo courtesy of BtY


Tables out for dinner.

In terms of the seats, I wasn’t overly impressed by the J seats on LO but I can’t say I was disappointed. They’re comfortable and have all the features but they don’t jump out at you like, for example, SQ longhaul J. They’re just average to better-than-average J seats. I did notice a few design issues, such as the placement of the remote in the armrest well did lead to the occasional event where I hit the light button by accident. Additionally, my armrest never fully latched, so if you rested on it in the right way (read: the most natural way) it would unhook and attempt to move up into a privacy shade. This did, later, lead to an extended game where we played with it, but overall if you aren’t travelling with a toddler it may be annoying. The screens were reasonably big, and the IFE was easy to use, yet definitely lacking - this was the least-complete IFE on our whole trip. There just wasn’t the same movie choice as we would find on other carriers. The programs for kids were equally present but… also severely lacking. There were maybe three or four half-hour cartoons and then six or seven selected programs from MiniMini (which is one of the Polish children’s stations) but even then they didn’t pick the best ones (we watch a lot of MiniMini at home) and they’re only in Polish. I can only imagine how it would be travelling with a kid who doesn’t understand Polish, because if you don’t like She-Ra and Scooby Doo you’re sort of stuck. And what’s up with the two-prong headphones? Is this still a thing? (Answer: yes, apparently it is) Long story short I’m very thankful we’ve got the tablet for BtY with some all-time favourites like Shaun the Sheep. It’s been a great travel tool. (Note for those who don’t lurk on the travel tech forum: it’s an off-brand Android tablet (Prestigio) and it’s totally sufficient despite the drawbacks).

So enough of the hard product, time to head to YYZ. Takeoff was, for lack of a word, not overly memorable. BtY alternated between actually sitting and trying to kneel on the seat to see out the window, but for the most part I managed to keep the seatbelt on with a lot of help from some books. Win. Once we’d gotten up to altitude we found the headset and I put on a show, and for the next whole 15 minutes I had some time to relax. Of course that only lasted until the end of the show and at some point before service we ended up switching seats - I don’t entirely remember how that even happened but I also don’t think I understood how that happened in the first place. So we just switched everything around and it was all fine.

Dinner was…. unmemorable. I even forgot to take a picture of the starter for that reason. It was decent but certainly not spectacular. For mains, I had the turkey, and BtY went for the salmon. The main did take a few courses to get there and by the time we got through a bun and some appetizers there was no room or desire for salmon - and I will admit to prioritizing happiness on the plane so that we get good behaviour, so I wasn’t about to push food too much. That said the salmon was a bit bland so BtY didn’t miss anything anyway. The turkey was also unmemorable. The gnocchi were more or less the best part of the main. I specifically avoided wine until BtY would sleep (ha) but at some point vodka made an appearance and I decided that would be okay. I never did get wine, let that be an omen. Finally, dessert rolled around and we both went with the mousse, which was a hit with both of us except for the jello, which I ended up eating.


The Turkey with Gnocchi


Salmon with rice


A blurry picture of some chocolate mousse

After dinner we somehow managed to switch seats back when I turned the window seat into a bed with the “brilliant” plan of inducing a nap. The farthest I got was to lie down together and watch Shaun the Sheep but clearly the excitement of being on a plane was too much and a nap was not in the cards. And after an hour of trying this was abundantly clear.

Now I will argue that I had a good five hours and then one difficult hour of attempting to cause a nap, but MrsBarn claims that when BtY finally needed mom and we went back to PE I looked terrible. Sure I was starting to feel like death but I really thought I should be able to do it. After all, I was going to do this alone later. Nope. Now luckily the crew was unbelievably accommodating through the whole flight (BtY is a bit of a people-person and knows this) and in love with BtY anyway, so when MrsBarn came back they said it was no issue for the three of us to stay until the meal was served, at which point someone would need to go back. That someone was me, as I deteriorated significantly and needed a few minutes to rest, which meant I didn’t even try the meal on offer in PE. All I can say with any certainty is that there was grapefruit involved at some point and earlier than that I remember mozzarella balls. MrsBarn confirmed my assessment of the food, though, and clearly reiterated that it wasn’t even up to the standards of AC J. I think this says something.

Anyhow, after food I started to feel a bit better and eventually made it up to J, where we switched back for landing. It’d been a long 9 hours and there was still more to go. Thankfully, because I’ve learned a thing or two, we were going to be spending the night in YYZ.

DJ Bitterbarn

There’s no pun in the title. It’s pure description.

I’m going to break the arrivals process out here, because it’s actually more than “gave passports, got bags, gave immigration card” and our stay at the HI isn’t overly large so this pads it up and plus there’s more continuity.

This time in, we made it through immigration without a hitch but then of all the luck we got nailed at the baggage belt when MrsBarn remembered the hard way you can’t bring fruit into Canada. Even if it’s an apple from the lounge in WAW. Whoops. So thanks to a keen spaniel we were off to secondary, which I had really hoped to avoid because we were already an hour late and we had evening plans with some friends from Cork (now back in TO) and their one-year-old.

As you can imagine, those plans fell apart.

Remember that part about no napping on the plane? Well it’s been determined that BtY handles jetlag very strangely. In this case, bedtime happened suddenly and abruptly as we were standing in line for secondary. And that was it. Totally out. Until morning. So now we’ve got the same huge amount of luggage but the added bonus of getting to carry a previously-self-propelled child. And to add to it all I completely forgot to go through my Canadian change before we go for the extortionate carts at YYZ. This would have been terrible if not for some very fortuitous timing: before any of this customs business happened, while on the escalators down from immigration, I happened to notice a guy walking across the baggage hall pushing a row of carts. So I extrapolated his path back and there it was. A fresh, unguarded row of carts. So I just looked at MrsBarn and said “when we get to the belt I need you to watch everything and I don’t have time to explain” and it worked. Free cart.

Take that, “pay carts on arrival”.

And, as an aside, our bags actually came out in under ten minutes. I have NEVER had this happen at YYZ, so this was a very welcome and unexpected surprise.

So back on the business end of secondary I had forgotten just what it meant to be back in Canada. The agent we talked to was really professional and friendly, just explained the issues with fruit, and then we spent the rest of the inspection talking about his recent trip to Krakow. And that was basically it. So off we went through the doors to find our shuttle. One quick question to the guy at the desk and we discovered that it would be downstairs, way at the end, so that’s where we headed. With the family waiting inside I popped outside to check the schedule and of all the luck the shuttle was just arriving. Unfortunately, according to the driver, there would be no waiting around for us so it was another mad dash to get everyone ready for going outside (thankfully this was much faster than it could have been) and powered out there to try and load everything. And because of a few other riders delaying the shuttle it worked, we were now on the way to the hotel. Score. Ten minutes later MrsBarn was checking in while I got all the bags up to the lobby.

Hotel: Holiday Inn Toronto Airport East
Rate: 15,000 IHG points

I chose this hotel for a three reasons: It was a quick shuttle to the airport, it had a pool, and I got it on IHG points. Most of these points were actually from back in the day when I was running Topguest, with the rest made up from surveys and one night in Berlin (Indigo Ku’Damm, our 36-hour vacation in 2012). I had to buy up a few, which I sort of regretted, but it all worked out. At one point I was really tempted to cancel this reservation and rebook a paid night to get the “book two online” points from the Big Win, but it turns out in the end that was unnecessary and adding this one more stay wouldn’t have made a difference in the scope of the promo anyway, just added expense. While I could have cancelled this booking and rebooked a PointsBreak night in the HI Mississauga, I did not for the proximity reason. For some strange reason (to me) they booked us on the “IHG Club Floor” which certainly did not seem like a “club” floor and for the life of me I can’t find the pictures from it. Must be on my old phone. The free WiFi was a nice touch, though.


“Club” floor room - HI Toronto Airport East


“Club” floor room - HI Toronto Airport East

But the stay. Right. So where we last left our group, BtY was done for the evening. Using said free WiFi I got in touch with our friends and found out that their kid actually goes to bed at a reasonable hour, so it wasn’t looking like we’d get together. It’d have to be next time, then.

The stay itself was fine. There wasn’t much aircraft noise - only a bit at night - and early the next morning we were all up and ready to go. At 6 am. So by the time we got motivated and decided what to do, it was nearly 6:30 and time to head down to pick up some toast. Then the pool. BtY loves the pool. And this time they had the hot tub set at a temperature approaching hot.


The Pool at the HI Toronto Airport East

Ultimately the plan from here on out was that we’d head to the airport with plenty of time to spare, just in case. I had my doubts about the smoothness of this next leg and I would unfortunately be right.


Views from our room

DJ Bitterbarn

I’ve been flying semi-regularly with AC for more than a few years now and I’ve learned long ago that my AC experience often does not match up with the AC experience of the majority. I couldn’t say why, but I’ve had a brilliant run with AC. I’m going to miss them a bit for that but for a host of reasons I’m out unless absolutely necessary (the irony, of course, of attempting to dump AC and move back to Canada is not lost on me). Of course nothing is ever perfect and I’ve had a couple run-ins with “stereotypical AC” and for whatever reason they have almost all been at YYZ.

So here’s the scenario. MrsBarn and I were travelling YYZ-YXE as a J segment of our award tickets and BtY was travelling on a separate-ticketed Y one-way. This was done entirely because LO couldn’t sell me a WAW-YYZ-YXE return as a mixed-class booking online (recall PE on the 787 of which I took no pictures). LOT could, however, sell me WAW-YYZ return as a mixed-class booking and this actually worked because BtY wouldn’t be coming back YXE-YYZ with us, but with my parents. So with my parents handling YXE-YYZ I just had to book one flight. At first I had intended to book YYZ-YXE as an A3 award using MrsBarn’s miles, but I sat on it too long and blew my chances (although in hindsight this may have saved us - at least all the tickets were on AC stock). Anyway, thanks to the aforementioned awesomeness of canadiancow I got a discount code for YYZ-YXE and we were booked. The problem is that now I had a number of bookings for an “adult” who was in fact two years old. While this clearly looked like a dirty way to dodge the UM charges, BtY was in every case travelling with at least one parent or two grandparents. Simple, right? Apparently not to the booking system. So months and months earlier I called in to just let the airlines know how I envisioned this going down: we’d all get on the plane and one of us would just switch seats with the UM so that the UM would sit in the J cabin with one parent and the other parent would sit in Y. As has been done by others on this forum.

LO? LO was great. Better than great. The agent even offered to proactively change our seat assignments, which I declined because I didn’t want to take my chances with more award changes. Total phone time ten minutes tops

Aeroplan? AP was also great. The girl on the phone admitted she wasn’t the person to officially do this but figured we should be fine. Five minutes and she linked the tickets from her end anyway.

AC? Nightmare. Apparently not only are AC agents not always hired for their math skills, the one I talked to was also not hired for critical thinking or the ability to apply anything outside the “rules”. In this case, it took me nearly ten minutes to explain the concept of how, given three people in two cabins, two of them can switch seats without requiring a fourth person to give up a seat. This is not rocket science, people. Anyway, the call ended badly with nothing more than a vague warning/threat that we could have problems at the airport. I wanted to call back but I also didn’t want to have to go through that again. So I chalked it up to a bad agent.

Back to December and we roll up to the ExecFirst desk at YYZ. If there was no queue before, there was by the time we were done. Unfortunately, as promised by the phone agent, the checkin agent had no end of problems with our plan. It was, according to her, completely wrong. Ugh. So off she goes to the phone for what felt like an eternity to do SOMETHING to our tickets because they all had to get changed by someone far away because I guess it would break everything if everyone didn’t sit in their own seat? Or something. All in it took 45 minutes for her to get us checked in and it was clearly inconveniencing her greatly, notwithstanding that after 15 minutes BtY had had enough and was looking for a nap and after 20 minutes MrsBarn had lost all patience with the agent as well. So they headed off while I stuck it out with the mess.

Oh, and for some reason while loading our first bag on the scale at the beginning of the process I managed to scrape my hand and was now bleeding at a pretty good rate. So I slapped a tissue on it and powered through it. And that’s where the pun in the chapter title comes from. Yeah, it was a bad pun. They all are.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, this agent managed to “officially” swap our seating arrangements around for whatever reason and we could finally work our way through security. Most incredibly, though, all of AC’s messing with our tickets didn’t affect any of the further tickets in our itinerary as I was 50% sure it would. Small blessings, eh?

Of course we now had more or less no time for the lounge (we’ve done the MLL in YYZ domestic, no huge loss) so we headed down to the gate which, as usual, was way out near the end of the pier. Thankfully a cart driver flagged us down and MrsBarn and the now-sleeping BtY caught a ride out that way while I pulled the bags and made a detour for desperately-needed coffee and water.

Flight: AC 1123
Route: YYZ-YXE
Aircraft: CRA
Seats: 4D (J), 4F (J), 18-somethingD (Y)

Despite the awful check-in, this flight actually was actually pretty decent even if I was stuck back in Y while the rest of the family was enjoying themselves in J. I know they were enjoying themselves because BtY came back after about an hour and a half to see how I was doing. And again later, and again later. Each time it was pretty clear that they were having a nice time up there.

But back to the flight. First up, there are no pictures of the flight for a couple reasons:
1. I was still a bit frustrated from the check-in
2. MrsBarn had our only good camera and she didn’t take any.
3. I had an aisle seat due to getting shifted out of our original seat assignment on an equipment swap.
4. I’ve done the YYZ-YXE flight a lot of times and it doesn’t matter if it’s a CRA or an E190 or even an A320 (if that ever happens anymore) the flight in Y is the same three odd hours with a paid meal service in the middle and a lot of time spent over the top end of Lake Superior. I just can’t bring myself to take any more pictures.

I don’t remember any deicing which was odd but not overly unexpected, given the near-zero temperatures and sunny weather in YYZ that morning. Then we just sort of powered up and were on our way. And then the whole thing gets remarkably unmemorable. There was a bar service and food for purchase, the option for more overpriced stuff and then another drink service. And then we landed in Saskatoon.

Somewhere along the line in my last year of not-travel my work headphones died and so I pulled my travel headphones because I couldn’t find my huge bag of AC headphones that I normally use for work. They’re somewhere, just not where I looked. So when this trip rolled around I didn’t have headphones. I instead had to make due with playing assorted games on my tablet, which was fine because I was ready for some time to do that anyway (although for the life of me I forget what I was playing, it may have been more Triple Town and Dots). And between that and watching Shaun the Sheep with BtY on one of the frequent visits that more or less made up the trip. And at some point BtY decided to bring a glass of water back to me (not for me, just to) and on the way back up to J, thought running was the way to go. Miraculously, only a tiny bit spilled on the guy in the bulkhead’s sock and he was okay with it. Phew.

So after three hours the most-uneventful flight of the trip was finishing and we pulled into the “new” YXE for some quality time with my family. Which, of course, meant that it was time for the temperature to drop to somewhere around -35 (C of course) for the next week. For the record this is not “Polar Vortex” cold, this is “It’s Saskatchewan in December, so what” cold. It would warm up closer to Christmas for a day or two but our plans of skiing and ice fishing were more or less done for. So in lieu of pictures of the flight I’ll add a few of the new YXE, Christmas in Saskatchewan, before we move on to more flights.




The new pier at YXE. Shiny.

As an interlude to the pictures, a brief discussion on getting Pay-as-you-go SIM cards in Canada that are adequate for data use on an unlocked smartphone:

It sucks.

...Maybe that’s too brief. Let’s just say that despite my planning, nobody in Saskatoon that I found was able to sell me anything approaching a 5Gb Pay-as-you-go data-only sim. Not Telus, not Rogers, not Bell. I didn’t try Sasktel because I needed this to work outside SK, and in the end I had to just give up and get a 1 Gb data sim for 30 days which ended up costing nearly $40! What a rip, eh? (Note, since then I’ve discovered that you can get something similar with Wind prepay, if you’re near Wind and can do without LTE. The difference is you just don’t pay for it and they go “eh, okay” and cancel.)




Obligatory christmas light pictures. Also: Proof that we do have electricity in SK.


Long before the Polar Vortex there was SK, where -33 in the morning means you’re going to want to get out the warm gloves.



Dear AC. The CO-OP has an Android app and a WP app. And this is in the Suburbs of Nowhere (it’s not the middle of nowhere, but on a clear day you can see it from here). So why is it so hard for the biggest airline in the country to even do ONE of those? There is a world outside iOS, AC, and we’re not going to just give up and go away because you can’t figure out how to develop for us. So get used to it, get your act together, stop stalling, and just release a functioning Android app, okay?


This was my reaction when I saw that the Co-Op had an Android app. And also slightly more mildly when I saw this product.



Despite looking like a cat, this is a Marten). It moved into my parents’ yard a couple of years ago and has since been keeping the mouse and squirrel populations down, as well as providing a pretty reliable source of entertainment to BtY.


Cabbage Rolls. These would be the old-school Ukrainian emigrant kind that Grandma makes, none of this fancy “meat” and “sauce”. But crucially, this would be the second time I’ve helped her make these and as a result I’m now starting to get a handle on it.


Two HP engine, refuelling.


Welcome to SK.


Two HP engine, running.


Under that mass of snow is the sink we ran into.
On the 26th we went out for a sleigh ride put on as an annual event by a local family. Verdict: excellent.

And now we go big. BtY will stay with my parents and MrsBarn and I head to Singapore in J and F...

DJ Bitterbarn

Eleven days at home was nice, but not long enough given I hadn’t been there in over a year and a half. But time is time, and this is an award ticket so you’re a bit at the mercy of schedules. Plus I knew that would be changing in the near future, so on Boxing Day we packed up our stuff and, in a Christmas Miracle, I actually won the checked bags argument and I’m really glad that I did. Seriously, I somehow managed (for the first time ever) to “convince” MrsBarn that we do NOT need to check a bag for the rest of this flight and that somehow it would be this huge inconvenience to do so. Or that I just annoyed her so much that she finally gave in out of pure frustration. Knowing, then, that we could also carry a backpack I promised to put my packing skills to use on her carry-on and we actually got our bags down to three. Her old faithful (and noisy) rollaboard that we got years ago in Cork, her backpack, and my new Travelpro Crew9 20” which I should mention I’m overjoyed with despite the tragic zipper injury it sustained on a recent trip (but not this one).

But I’ll get to that later. Right now we needed to pull some Mission Impossible-style moves and get out of the house without BtY noticing.

By that I mean we needed to get my sister-in-law out of the house without BtY noticing. We could have just walked past and out the front door and there wouldn’t be a problem, but BtY loves my sister-in-law and unfortunately we were driving with her and my brother back to YXE so we sort of couldn’t leave without them. And the reason we had to be sneaky was that we weren’t going to see BtY for two weeks and we know from experience that at the grandparents’ place (either one) if we’re just not there it’s no big deal for roughly a week and a half or so as long as it just happens and nobody makes a big deal about it.

Eventually we successfully disappeared and spent that night at my brother’s place playing boardgames until probably too late and early the next morning we were up for the drive to YXE.

Flight: AC 8577
Route: YXE-YVR
Aircraft: CRJ-100
Seats: 1D (Y), 1F (Y)

IN THEORY the flight was to leave around 9:00 CST and arrive two-ish hours later at 9:30 PST. We would then jump on the skytrain to Waterfront and meet up with a good friend of mine to do a bit of a tour of Vancouver, for a number of reasons, before getting back to the airport for our 18:00 flight to LAX. This was originally a very short stop with more time in YXE in the morning and LAX at night but AC moved our flight (and, as usual, didn’t tell us) and the prospect of nine hours in YVR was very attractive. I did, however, have to phone in once at the last minute to try and maintain this when AC AGAIN moved our flights without telling us (although they did tell us they told us, even though there is no history of an email). But I’m going off on a tangent. They moved the flights back to our original itinerary. That’s the key here.

So anyway, let’s start with the “new” YXE. It’s fantastic. I think it’s a great effect of Saskatoon finally joining the global community, and it really makes the airport feel like a proper airport rather than just a backwater outpost.





More shots of the new pier at YXE

As there might still be a handful of people on FT who have not been through YXE in the past few months, I’ll clarify: YXE is in the middle of an expansion that will renovate more or less the entire airside, adding actual restaurants and places to eat on the airside, not to mention a completely new (however small) pier and the option for a lounge. They even changed the voice on the parking payment machines from the old voice that wasn’t quite as pleasant as Dr. Sbaitso, although they did that a few years ago. It’s now half complete, with the new pier open and restaurants moving in, and Phase 2 should be done next year to renovate the old airside and add the lounge space. This is being done as more or less the entire city reinvents itself, with the development of restaurants and businesses that you’d expect to find in places like Toronto or Vancouver. At the same time, the city is slowly (but not fast enough, IMO) starting to break from the development plan since forever of “let’s look carefully at our options, then ignore them and just do what Calgary did ten years ago regardless of whether or not it was a good idea”. But again, tangent. The airport expansion is actually very nice, with one of the nicest features being the fireplace at the end of the pier.

So this morning it was our flight and two sun charters. Personally? I don’t even see a comparison between what we were heading for and a painful charter seat to a tourist resort in Mexico where I could drink with Canadians. Not that I don’t like Mexico or Canadians, I just think there’s better ways to escape the cold. And that, I hope, is the last tangent of this segment.

Our flight was delayed a few minutes due to a late inbound aircraft from YWG, but no more than ten or so. While we waited I abused the free wifi and drank my coffee, while MrsBarn tried unsuccessfully to have a nap - sadly all the good chairs by the fireplace were taken up by people heading on those sun charters. Finally, though, with our carry-on gate-checked we were on board and on the way to YVR - or so we thought.


Legroom on the Dash 8.




Takeoff from wintry Saskatchewan

The first few minutes of the flight were uneventful. After those few minutes, though, I started wondering why the seatbelt sign was on so long. Then a bit later there was a loud bump and the engines immediately increased. And then nothing. We just kept going. Finally the FA got a call and now I only heard half of it, thanks to being in row 1, but the line “so do I still do a service?” indicated to me that there might be an issue. Soon, but not that soon, the captain came over to let us know that the bang we heard earlier was the nose gear not coming up and even though that’s something that would stop us getting to YVR we were still too heavy to land back at YXE, so instead we’d be heading to YYC and then…. something? The official word was “go to the connections desk in the terminal, up the escalator, etc. and they will sort you out”

It’s days like this I really feel vindicated in my “don’t book short connections. ever.” rule. Unfortunately this meant our connection in YVR was increasingly in jeopardy and I needed to make sure we didn’t get routed directly from YYC to LAX so we could preserve our meet-up. And somehow we got talking about this to the FA, as we were right there, and I let slip a fraction of our itinerary. Well she was all kinds of interested and suddenly got really friendly, wishing us all the best in our holiday and good luck and etc. so that when we landed it was almost a shame we might not get to finish the flight to YVR. But here we are, landing in YYC instead.

Now remember when I offhandedly mentioned gate-checked bags? Yeah. Now all our advantage of being in row 1 is going to be gone if we have to wait for the bags to come out before we can walk over to the service desk. Once again I made a deal with MrsBarn: I’m going to wait for bags (because they’re really kind of heavy) and all I need her to do is walk quickly into the terminal, up the escalator, find the service desk, and get in line. So when the door was open she was off and I was lucky enough that our bags were off quickly enough that people were still getting off the plane. And then I just walked past them all, because Calgary airport has these long stretches of pointless, long walks and people walk slow when they don’t stop to think what’s going to happen when a planeload of people gets to a single desk (which I realize is totally in my advantage being the one of two people on the plane who thinks like that). So I even managed to catch up with MrsBarn, now past nearly everyone (she’s becoming a seasoned traveller), before she even got back to the regional holding area before the escalator and discovered at the top of said escalator that only one pax from our flight had the foresight to hurry to the desk to beat the crows. And that’s how we ended up second in line at the service desk, staffed with a team of active agents ready to make sure our flight was processed and rebooked as fast as any flight ever in the history of YYC.

Fine. There were two people at the desk, neither had any clue what was going on, and both were terribly offended that they were now responsible for a whole plane full of people with some pretty tight connections on their way up. You know, as opposed to their day job of working the service desk for an airline. So they spent the next five minutes not processing anyone and instead phoning around to figure out why they got stuck with this clearly out-of-scope job.

Good work, YYC. I expect this from YYZ because it’s a hub staffed with many people who are very lucky in life to have a safe job where performance is not a requirement for continuation, if you get my drift. But I expect this from YYC because I just think it’s a bad airport from the layout right up to the execution and I thought I had carefully planned this trip to avoid it. Oh, sure, it plays the folksy, “friendly” side of things really well but there’s only so much friendly that you can add to a product. If that product isn’t good to begin with, it’s not going to be good just by being friendly. And it’s already broken my resolution to not go off on tangents in this part. Great.

Anyhow, after a few minutes it was decided we were, in fact, not their responsibility so they bounced the whole planeload of us back down to the holding pen downstairs. Just “go wait down there”. And wait we did. For nearly two hours we burned away our layover in YVR without any news beyond “we’ll get to boarding you later”. On the plus side I took the opportunity to log into Asiana and check in for our flight and managed to score 1A and 1K. And I guess on the other plus side MrsBarn trekked up to Tim Hortons and got me some breakfast: a donut. A donut, of course, is sort of the only sort of thing I from Tims that I believe is edible anyway, but I needed breakfast having sort of skipped it expecting coffee in Vancouver. And eventually, we were ready to go.

Flight: AC 8577…continuation
Route: YYC-YVR
Aircraft: CRJ-100
Seats: 1D (Y), 1F (Y)






Leaving YYC again, enroute to YVR.

Finally, after two hours we were finally able to board and made the too-long trek back down to the same gate we deplaned from, to the further assurance from the crew that this was a different plane. The only problem is we were now missing that ten people, including lap infants, who apparently had a very tight connection in YVR. So now we’re delayed waiting for people who had just vanished. The very people who would be most inconvenienced by a delayed departure if, say, someone didn’t show up on time. Lovely.

Eventually, though, the stragglers reappeared and we once again were airborne and back on track to YVR. And, as luck would have it, we had the same crew. So this flight was much more talking with the FA about Asia, Vancouver, Saskatoon, the duty-free she bought in Mexico (which she showed us) and all sorts of things.

On descent, we ended up chatting about our layover in town and she gave me the very helpful advice (of which I was aware thanks to FT) that we should get skytrain tickets at 7-11 rather than the machines, as the plan was to take the skytrain to Waterfront as part of the “look, Vancouver has a somewhat-functioning public-transit system” sales pitch. And then the FA commented “well I’d just give you the tickets I have, but they’re only zone 1” and then discussion ensued with the pax in 1A and 1C and by the end of the flight the FA goes “here, take these tickets and you can probably just get the addfare to 2-zone so you don’t waste time finding the 7-11”. WOW. So now we’re walking off a plane where the FA just gave us her own skytrain tickets! Of course we did the only thing we could and I grabbed a little souvenir from Kraków for her when I got my skycheck bag, which she loved and I thought was the least we could do for saving us nearly $15 in fares. Just…. incredible.



Now we’re a few hours late in YVR, severely cutting into our layover, but we’ve got free train tickets and, even more, we were able to walk straight up to the platform, grab the addfare from the kiosk, and walk onto the train not even thirty seconds before the doors closed. The only time I’ve ever had that degree of efficiency and timing before is Heathrow. Good job YVR. Good job. I'm going to enjoy having a home airport like this, I think.

The rest of our layover in YVR involved lunch downtown and a whirlwind tour of Stanley Park and the waterfront. There was, sadly, no time for coffee at Revolver. Also not included was Kitsilano and UBC. So instead I’m going to just post a few pictures of our layover here to close out this chapter.


Acme Cafe


View from Stanley Park to Downtown



Prospect Point

Next up: LAX

AhogZ

Wow! Epic subscribing, of course.

hlee628

I have to admit I breathed a sigh of relief when you revealed the fact your 2 year old wasn't going to make the entire RTW.

avneeshj

Subscribed! Really like your style of writing. I was sort of interested in seeing how having a 2 year old on a RTW would be like seeing as I have a 2 year old son who can't sleep on long hauls either.

DJ Bitterbarn

Thanks! It feels a bit epic, especially when I had to break the google doc I was using for editing into two parts.

I think that, having never done one before, if I had the miles to make it happen I would have bought a ticket for BtY as well. It would have certainly simplified the booking process, but I think it also would have meant no F and a much more limited set of J. Two seats is easy. Three could be hard.

Thanks! When it comes to longhauls and BtY, it really depends on the departure. Normally sleep works on eastbound because of the late departures but westbound has never happened. BtY will make a return in the later parts when we do another LO TATL together...

DJ Bitterbarn

Full disclosure: We did not go to In-N-Out. But it’s the title because I really like In-N-Out and it was originally in the plan. And it makes a good title. But I also know we’ll be back and this trip we really just didn’t have the time, so that’s how it goes. But I’ll get to that.


Skytrain back to YVR

First, let’s back up to Vancouver, where my friend dropped us off at Olympic Village station for the ride back to the airport. Easy. Half an hour later we were up at YVR and 40 minutes or so after that we were through pre-clearance. Honestly, sometimes I think the hassle of getting US tourist visas is completely not proportional to the hassle at the border. But then again we were only staying a few hours so maybe that made a difference? Eh, anyway, we’re back up in the transborder MLL with an hour or so to pass before our flight and we could literally see the plane downstairs from our seats. So I made a quick call back to my parents to see how everyone was doing (answer: great) and charged up a few devices just in case while we grabbed a very small snack from the buffet due to eating far too much earlier in the day. And one very average coffee. Van Houtte is not, in my opinion, gourmet by any stretch of the word unless your only other option is Tims. But again, my opinion.



A few minutes after scheduled boarding time (has a plane ever boarded at the scheduled boarding time anyway?) we meandered down to the gate where they were processing VDBs. Not today, though. We were lucky to even have seats on this flight and we needed to be in LAX.

Flight: AC 554
Route: YVR-LAX
Aircraft: E-190
Seats: 2A (J), 3D (J)

This was a perfectly adequate flight for transborder J. Drinks were offered before takeoff and the crew was attentive, and we were on our way to LAX with plenty of time.





I have the menu for this leg somewhere. I know I do. I keep finding it when I’m looking for not it. But as it’s not here I’m just going to skip it and say there were a few options including a vegetable lasagna.

Sadly, because of the huge, late lunch, I was in no way ready for dinner but I tried anyway with the vegetable lasagna which was fairly good (i.e. better than LOT). For the life of me I don’t remember what wine I had which may indicate I just didn’t have any. And beyond that, since we were seated apart for this flight, I made up the time playing games on my Nexus 7 and following the progress of the flight on the map. My seatmate slept the majority of the way and really it was uneventful, especially after our busy day already.

Now I’m fairly confident we landed along the Sadde Six approach (from one of the coolest landing videos I’ve seen) but being AGAIN in an aisle seat it was sort of hard to tell. I also recall we taxiied for a fairly significant amount of time, so I suspect we landed over on 25 L or R? We did, however, take full advantage of no checked luggage and after leaving the plane we were out to the hotel shuttle in no time. So much nicer.

Not so nice, however, was the traffic as we lurched violently around every terminal on the hotel shuttle. All the way to the far end of TBIT it was packed, and it started to clear around T6, but even then not all the way. It must have been bad because by the time we pulled into the Crowne Plaza we were the third shuttle in line dropping people off, and we managed to get into the hotel before people from the first two.

Hotel: Crowne Plaza LAX

The Crowne Plaza was initially picked for its location over the HI, but as soon as the Big Win criteria were announced I was glad we picked it: this would check off two boxes. So “Book with us” and “Explore our brands” finished up here for 14,400 points, plus 6k bonus points from codes. All in it was a pretty reasonable haul for two nights, and we haven’t even got to the part about the stay!

So based on all the reviews I could find I requested a room on the Century Blvd side for being quieter and, compared to the YYZ HI it was. There was a bit more noise in the morning as flights were lining up to take off on 25, but unless you’re a super light sleeper it wouldn’t wake you. We also received a drink voucher as a welcome gift which was pretty decent given my lack of IHG status. Wifi was also free but code-based, so we didn’t have the option to connect loads of devices. This may have mattered if we’d stayed longer, but it was fine for the night.

The room itself was comfortable, as expected nicer than the HI but not quite as nice as the IC. I think the pictures will do it justice.




Our room, Crowne Plaza LAX

The only weird bit of the night was the bar set up in the lobby. It seemed really out of place, and this made much more sense when we went to find the actual bar and discovered that the restaurant was in fact a series of tents outside the property. I guess the restaurant was being renovated? No matter, we knew where the “bar” was and we weren’t going farther (sadly) so after checking out the pool on the way back up to the room we called it.


The interim restaurant, Crowne Plaza LAX


The pool, Crowne Plaza LAX


View from our room in the morning, complete with takeoffs

Opinion: Solid hotel choice, not the cheapest LAX hotel but certainly the best I’ve stayed at recently (and that includes the super-50s-stylings of the Travelodge that I actually sort of like). Shuttle was fast if you pretend all that traffic didn’t happen and ignore the odd U-turn in the middle of the road out back of the hotel. Beds were comfortable, not overly much noise, I’d certainly go back for my next layover.

DJ Bitterbarn

So thanks for bearing with this through the (to me) standard trip through the edge of civilization in the dead of winter. Maybe if we go back in the summer I can do more, but I'd need to make an effort to remember to take photos. But now we're in LA and the part I've been looking forward to for eleven months.

I am well aware that you “do not walk in LA” but after the lurchtastic shuttle the night before and because it was actually quite a nice, sunny morning, we decided that we’d give it a shot and skip the shuttle. This turned out to be a great idea, as it was around a 20-minute walk to the airport but to be honest I don’t fully remember how long it took, as it felt like it was no time at all and I wasn’t keeping notes. But crucially, while the temperature said one thing the sun added at least ten degrees to that and some of us were overheating by the time we got to Sepulveda. But we pushed on and wandered right up to the main entrance to TBIT; it was time to start the “good” part of this trip.

TBIT

The New TBIT

So before we get to the part in the air, we get to visit the new TBIT, and I was actually excited about this one. For starters, I’ve never flown out of TBIT (bad or good). Secondly, I heard rumours that this was a really nice rebuild. And it was. But I’ll get to that, because first we had to go through Old TBIT to check in.

Up to the Asiana desks we wandered, over to the First Class line. As expected, someone came to greet us and ask if we were travelling in First. Yes, I say. Yes. We. Are. And that was good enough. So we waited for the small group in front of us to finish (which took a few seconds at most) and then we were up to the desk for checkin.


Now I’m not sure what I was expecting with F checkin. I maybe thought it would be some sort of magical ceremony where the agents gushed over the mere fact that we would grace them with our presence, and the proceed to shower us with gratitude and compliments. I mean, that clearly didn’t happen but I think that it would be super awkward if it did, so when it ended up being regular old checkin I think that was probably the best outcome. MrsBarn will agree: I compliment myself enough, frequently out loud, for the most mundane achievements. I don’t need an independent third party confirming this.

Checkin completed, it was time for the TSA. Eugh. And the less said about that the better. But for the sake of TR-ness, I’ll say that on the north side of TBIT the priority line moved somewhat faster than the regular line, and for the first time ever I went through the Nude-o-scope and I found it was supremely inaccurate. It pointed out all the areas where I was probably sweaty and that’s all. Oh, it was faster than waiting for secondaries, but I don’t really think it was that useful so ultimately I will probably not be doing it again unless absolutely necessary. Today I threw them a bone because I cared more about the *A F section than my health or principles. I’m a chump, I know.

But after selling my soul to efficiency, we were finally through into… old TBIT. I assume that’s what it was, because it seemed like a lot of wasted space to channel people down the ramps into a big square area where you would have expected to find something more than just a big square area. Okay, there’s the exit through that duty free and now we’re into the REALLY nice new TBIT. And nice it is. Big ceilings, open space, comfortable seats? This is a very good terminal, and we haven’t even got to the lounge yet.

The “Time Tower”


Views from the lounge floor

So over to the “Time tower”and up to the lounge we go. Of course through my research via pictures I had always seen the big entrance, but never realized that the F entrance is off to the right. Whoops. First time here, clearly. Through the F doors, though, and as soon as we were handed menus I immediately realized two things:
1) I am very glad we came early
2) Any remaining hesitation I had about booking a F reward for only one segment in F was gone.

Lounge: StarAlliance First Lounge LAX


It’s hard to quantify the experience, but the lounge itself seems…. unassuming. I say this as it’s not that big and it’s basically just one room, but I found it to actually be a really nice space and by the time we left I would revise my opinion to “the right amount of subtle”. As people have said before, there is no outside window, but instead the bank of windows on the east-facing wall look out into the light well and do provide a lot of natural light. There are a few sets of chairs in various configurations between two and four, and four tables along the wall for dining. Power was provided at each seat, but I happened to have all the luck and none of the outlets in our two-seater worked so I had to hijack some of the USB ports from the empty four-seater next to us. The USB ports aren’t the high-power variety, so charging wasn’t at full speed, but they did charge things.







There’s a TV in the corner but it was turned down and unobtrusive (which is good, because I have serious disagreements with their choice of programming, so it was nice to be able to tune it out). The bar is split into two sections, the first being self-serve snacks and dessert, the second being drinks. On the other (south) side of the entrance is a private room that can seat maybe six or seven, I assume VIP, but nobody cared that we commandeered it for 20 minutes to call MrsBarn’s family. The entrance to the J lounge is on the north end, as are the toilets. Access from the J lounge is by code.






The whole time we were there it was pretty quiet, with only two other individuals already there when we arrived. While we were there we only saw one family with a young child and three guys travelling together, assumably on our flight, but we didn’t see them on the plane so I don’t know where they ended up?









After a sit down and a look through the menu, and of course coffee, we ordered some breakfast. MrsBarn went with the spring rolls while I had the frittata and a breakfast parfait, which turned out to be so good we had another later. After breakfast we decided to check out the terrace (a feature in a lounge of which I am particularly fond) and a quick run through the J lounge. Overall impression is that it’s very nice and spacious, but I’d take the F side any day. The terrace, though, was very nice. Fire features were welcome as it wasn’t so terribly warm out here in the shade, but I can imagine that on a summer evening it would be a really nice place to be. You know, for anyone reading this forum.



One of the main areas in the J lounge




Wine Wall and buffet




Along the exit to the terrace












The Terrace, with some shots including our OZ 747

Just as the second parfait showed up, an Asiana employee came to the lounge with this awesome boarding sign. Not just an announcement, but a big plastic sign with a handle and the flight details printed out. I regret not getting a picture with her, because her sign was much nicer than the ANA one a few minutes later, as that one was just a sign that someone has written the flight number on in whiteboard marker. So overall I continue to be convinced I made the right choice. You know, because sign quality is something we all look for in an airline. Or it’s something I look for in an airline. At least I do now... now that I know it’s a thing.


The new half of TBIT


So with boarding now officially under way, we followed the signs down to the gate, only to notice that our gate was at the very far north end of the pier and…. then right. Which initially seemed to take us into a stairwell, but eventually we noticed it was going to drop us in the old terminal which I was immediately more grateful that we avoided. But we spent a minimum amount of time in said terminal, as we went straight through the gate and headed on board...


Our 747 to ICN

DJ Bitterbarn

Flight: OZ 201
Route: LAX-ICN
Aircraft: B747-400
Seats: 1A (F), 1K (F)

I’ve turned left a time or two, depending on how boarding happens, but this was something else. For starters, the crew escort to our seats was a nice touch and they were extremely accommodating in getting us settled in and our bags stored away in the closet. Warm nuts and drinks were offered on the ground, although non-alcoholic only due to something about regulations? Whatever, we’ve got 13 hours in the air for that.

First the hard product. This is, recall, the old OZ F and while there are some aspects that are showing their age it is still a very solid product. The seat is wide enough and quite comfortable, and it’s not one of those that flips over into a bed meaning you can recline it pretty far into basically Lay-Z-Boy mode. This, of course, is my preferred way to fly so I was content. The screen is still pretty large by most standards (e.g. slightly larger than LO J) and although my remote had serious issues with making the cursor move in straight lines, the IFE was solid. Not spectacular, but solid. One thing I quite appreciated was the sort of “phone pocket” right below the power outlet and the huge space between the seat and window where, if I wanted, I could totally have set up my Nexus 7 to watch movies. But I did not, because as previously mentioned I still didn’t have a set of headphones and the noise-cancelling ones provided were three-prong. The one drawback to this configuration is that stuff does tend to fall out of the storage area during takeoff, but if I propped up the one of my shoes with my foot it sort of held everything in place.






And it may not be for everyone, but I’m down with the brown. That’s not a euphamism, I just like the colour scheme.

The thing that stood out for me, though, was how amazing the views were. I had basically four windows to myself, three plus one mostly obscured by the monitor and another sort of between myself and 2A. Add that to the space between 1A and 1K and it really turned this into a private-feeling cabin.

At the seat already were headphones, amenity kits, and slippers. I actually don’t remember when we got Pyjamas, there was just so much going on in getting settled that it’s not really important when and more important that they guessed my size more or less exactly. Judging from pictures it was before takeoff, though. I also didn’t look too closely at the amenity kit and it has long ago been annexed from my possession by MrsBarn who always needs a new amenity kit. All I salvaged from my amenity kit was the comb in the cool comb holder, and when I found more in the lav I took another couple as presents. Terrible presents, but not necessarily that bad to the right people.

So there’s the hard product. A pretty decent seat in prime real estate, accented by great amenities. I haven’t yet regretted the extra miles just for this flight as it was a great all-around experience. I still wish we could have tried the new OZ F, but I wouldn’t have traded our run through YVR and LAX for it. Plus, as I intend to do this again in the future, it’s good to try the older F products before the newer ones.

Before we jump to the service, let’s get this bird in the air. Takeoff was unique in 1A. I know we didn’t actually rotate farther than the guys in the back, but for some reason it felt it. It was also notably bumpy. I don’t know if this is the norm for nose of the 747, but it was. And unfortunately regulations are such that digital cameras are okay, phone cameras are not. So I got no pictures but MrsBarn is more of a FTer than she would ever admit and picked up the slack for me! Plus, she had the views up over Malibu and Santa Barbara, while I just had Santa Catalina and ocean.


MrsBarn’s View


Fruit juice and nuts


The elusive male of the Barn species, in his environment.


More ocean views as we head north.

So once we were airborne the service started. Or, rather, the FAs came to ask when we wanted to eat. This was slightly problematic because we were all dealing with different time zones here (Korean vs Pacific time) but I suggested an hour from right now, and we eventually got it all sorted out. This would, of course, mean that they started an hour from when we asked. MrsBarn decided to wait an hour as well. Oddly, they did not take drink orders until the service started. Maybe this is normal? I’m not sure. But on the subject of drinks I’m an idiot and didn’t take pictures of that half of the menu. Thankfully, MrsBarn picked up my slack and while I know it was the Piper-Heidsieck Millesieme 2000 I did not remember it was the Pol Roger Cuvee Winston Churchill 2000 that I didn’t have, for I was attempting to balance my desire to drink all the good stuff with my pseudo-promise that I wouldn’t drink too much and become sick. Which I did not, because it was all too good. But I also did not drink it all, so we’ll call it a draw.


















The Menu today


Table ready


Anyhow, one champagne under way and we both obviously went with the Korean + Caviar. This was widely regarded as a good choice despite the fact that beyond a few trips to Korean BBQ with friends on my part, neither of us has much of an idea of Korean food. That was about to change.






Course 1: Shrimp with Pine Nut Dressing. Very good, and I’m going to use that tomato idea in future.






Course 2: Caviar. Excellent. Just… excellent. Oh, sure, my hick roots showed and I opened the bag, but I did know enough to have some just on its own, tried some with varying amounts of garnish, tried just garnish. It was all good. Came with vodka, which I of course did not turn down, but I like vodka. Never got why people think vodka is “strong”.


Course 3: Fresh Ginseng Salad with Mustard Dressing. This was one hardcore salad. I can’t say as I’ve had ginseng before, but I was not expecting something akin to horseradish. I was not ready for this one and I had forewarning from MrsBarn. Once I determined the secret was to eat bits at a time it got a lot better.


Carnations for everyone. Not to eat, mind. Just for looks. And maybe to smell. At least I hope they weren't to eat. I'd eat it.


Course 4: Hobakjuk - Pumpkin Porridge. The best way I can describe this is imagine the taste of pumpkin, and then imagine the taste of porridge. Now imagine them at the same time, because that’s what it is. And if you like pumpkin and porridge (as I do) it works. Plus it came after the salad and something not at all hot was very welcome at this point.












Main Course: Bibimbap. I knew you had to get the bibimbap, not what it was about. Now I know. It’s just great. I mean, the black beans didn’t totally do it for me, but I was getting pretty full and was trying to pace myself. And I dialled it back a bit on the chili after the salad, but not overly. The stand-out part would certainly be the beef bulgogi, though. Spectacular. Top-down picture courtesy of MrsBarn (yeah, I taught her to take pictures of airplane food. I’m so proud)


Dessert 1: Fresh Fruit. Great, I always like fruit. Cantaloupe isn’t my favourite, but it’ll do.




Dessert 2: Coffee, Chocolate, and Sweets. It should not bother me that I can’t figure out how they put the turn into those, but it does. Coffee was good, though, and certainly a nice pick-me-up after all the food.

Overall opinion on Korean lunch? Great. We’re going to need to try more when we get to Seoul, clearly.

By now I’m on Champagne two or three and it’s time to hold off a bit and go back to the IFE. I have to say this is one of my favourite things about flying: the forced disconnection that makes me watch movies or play games. Otherwise I just don’t and instead read things online. So this time I got acquainted with a few movies: Despicable Me 2, Pacific Rim (finally), The Internship, and Europa Report (which I quite enjoyed). The only odd part was that my remote was clearly broken and “left” on the mouse was in fact “down and left, mostly”. But up was up. A touchscreen, while inconvenient to get up and press, would have been easier.





Somewhere around the six-hour mark I checked the menu again and realized they also had icewine… so I had a couple of those, too. Icewine is great.


I won’t say no to Icewine. Fact.




Somewhere else around the six-hour mark we also decided it might be a good idea to have dinner. MrsBarn was a bit more hungry than I was so she started an hour or so earlier, but again we both went with the Korean option and it was again a good one.






Main Course: “Yukgaejang” This time the only thing I wasn’t able to finish was whatever the green leafy vegetable with chili on top was, not that it wasn’t also good though. It just wasn’t as good as everything else.




Dessert: Fruit + Fruit Tart Another fruit plate, same as the first, but with the inclusion of a fruit tart. Again tasty


Along with dessert it was time for Port. This would also be the part where Asiana ruined port for me. Sort of. I’ve had vintage port before. I picked up an ‘85 for my parents a few years ago and I had a bottle that was pushing 16 years that I had been saving for when I finally graduated (and it was good). But this was notable because I happened to see 20-year on the menu and then later in this trip I had a 10-year and it just wasn’t as good … but I knew that it wasn’t as good, and I immediately went “oh man, F ruined port for me”. Now, still blissfully unaware that I would forever be tainted, I had two.

Having more or less exhausted the movie selection I switched over to the tablet and continued working away on GTA San Andreas, which I might add runs pretty great on the Nexus 7. Yes, not relevant at all to the report, but it does. After that I finished filling in the arrival cards and sort of relaxed in the seat with the IFE for the last little while.





Finally, after 13 blissful, relaxing hours hours, we started our descent into Incheon. Sadly this meant no more F and as a result I stand by my assertion that the flight could have been a few hours longer. I’ll save the arrivals for the next part, because there’s some observations to be made.







Opinion: F was worth all the extra I spent on it (by which I mean a few tens of thousands of points). The hard product was more or less exactly what I was expecting, but I have some observations of the soft product. I’ve heard it is spectacular on OZ, but I didn’t feel that would be a word I would use. Lack of a drink order after takeoff was a bit different and I found the crew to be friendly, but not overly so. They were also present, but again not overly so. So while sometimes it seemed like you'd want to actually press the call button to get their attention, in other instances they were right there before you knew it, specifically when drinks were running low (and all the best service I've had on aircraft has been of this "it's done before you even know you want it" variety). Some of this could easily have been chalked up to language barrier, too, and I'm fine with that (I don't expect everyone to speak great English, even in service industries). Also, I don’t want to criticize because I can’t say the crew was anything short of great, because beyond the drink orders I can’t really think of a specific instance where they did not do a very, very good job. I just maybe expected that little bit more, or just something that wasn’t there, and that’s not their fault at all if I’m just expecting something else. To compare it to J, though, I would have to say it was all of the attention to detail, but slightly more. And I certainly wouldn’t hold this against OZ. I’d fly them in F again without hesitation, and I'd recommend it to anyone.

The other thing I noticed is how the seatbelt sign applies differently in F. As in it does not. For long stretches of the flight it was on, yet every single person in F got up at one point or another and nobody said a word. Apparently turbulence is only for J or Y.

However: F was more than just the in-flight experience as well. The lounges, the handling, everything is what I’d expect from J but I felt just that much more personalized. So by that merit the whole product should be superior from the start, not just gate to gate. As I’m sure most of you know by now. In this case it most certainly was.

But I can’t sum it up nearly as succintly:

DJ Bitterbarn

Arrival in Seoul was a non-event. We were some of the first off the plane because, well, F. It should, by now, also be no surprise that we walk faster than most people, so we had no issue with getting to immigration before the rest of our flight. And maybe this is an effect of the time but immigration was pretty quiet anyway so we were through in no time. Easy.

Finding a bank machine, on the other hand, was not so easy. Despite being prepared for difficulties in accessing an "international" bank machine I wasn’t prepared for the level of difficulty. We did find the one in arrivals between the escalator down and the foreign exchange office - there’s probably more than one but that’s how I remember it - but it only dispensed 100,000 per day. So I used a couple cards but this still had to do us for the hotel and spending money. For now we just wanted to get to the train and out to the hotel and assumed that we could do this tomorrow. Spoiler: yes we could but it was fairly hard to do.


The A’Rex platform at ICN

Anyhow, we headed off to the A’Rex commuter to Hongik University as our hotel (Studio 41st) was chosen to be conveniently located to this stop. It was, but finding it proved far more difficult than I had initially expected. First, I had a really hard time finding Wi-Fi for some odd reason (sleep deprivation?) and thanks to Google Maps’ lack of good Korean maps, combined with the fact that saving the "where is the hotel" image in TripIt only works if you have an internet connection plus difficulty in the GPS locating us, we ended up sort of meandering our way to where the hotel should be only to find that it was not. In the end MrsBarn got tired of me being lost and asked a local. Conveniently, he spoke great English and was extremely helpful, even if he really didn’t know where it was either and had to go ask another local where it was. But between the two of them they tracked it down and although it was near where we thought it was, it was actually one street over from where the tourist map said it was. But without a helpful local we could have wandered another half hour easy.

Hotel: Studio41st Guesthouse, Yeonnam-Dong

So I had booked this hotel back in the beginning of May based on its good reviews and secured a very nice double-bed suite for a not-overly crazy amount (95,000/night I believe). There were, of course, more clear advantages such as being close to the train but not in the main touristy areas, as we’d be leaving early in the morning and multiple metro connections would be excessive.






Overall opinion of the hotel, though, was great. It is, in fact, much more hostel than hotel evidenced by the large common room downstairs with breakfast facilities and a fridge and the "do your own dishes" theme. The breakfast was simple (cereal, toast) and free tea, so nothing overly fancy, but as we had breakfast outside it was fine. WiFi was free and speedy so I grabbed a couple local map apps for expected location emergencies, but that also was enough kick to get my GPS to sync and we were set. There was additionally a computer with internet access and TV, as well as a full fridge and kitchen in the suite.

The staff was also excellent here. They were extremely helpful and willing to answer all our questions, and when we were checking in and the digital lock on the door mysteriously didn’t work they were all over it to get it fixed (Spoiler: it did work, just the beep for key presses was broken).

The only slightly weird issue was with the shower. I say slightly because it was truly minor, but when checking in and giving us the full tour of the room, between showing us how the heater worked and how the window needed to be open in the heater room if you used said shower, we both got a pretty clear impression that the shower room was also the heater room. But it made no sense because, you know, wires sticking out of the wall. We obviously worked out that we had misheard something and all was right with the world, but it seems as if it would have made more sense to take some of the unused space in said heater room and make a shower room without wires. Or not. I’m the visitor here.

Anyway, minor architectural nitpicking aside, we more or less ended the day there, exhausted and full from the flight. And tomorrow was going to be busy, we had all of one day to see as much Seoul as we could, and we were going to make the most of it.

Our day started pretty early thanks to the power of Jetlag. This was, of course, planned, as our first stop this morning was Noryangjin and we wanted to get there early in case it was one of these places that quieted down too far in the afternoon. Or in case it’s one of those places that got saturated in the afternoon. Either way, really. Mornings are always a better time to go to any markets that do not specifically have "Night" in their name. Fact.


Noryangjin Station


The market is this way


Oh look, there it is

Well as expected we took a bit longer than intended to get moving, but ultimately we were only half an hour behind schedule when we rolled off the metro at Noryangjin. Some of that delay, as well, involved buying these really delicious sweet potato pastry things from a kiosk at an interchange, so it’s not a big problem. And Noryangjin was pretty cool, even if we didn’t end up getting any fish. For you see, paying for the hotel and train tickets and a few things here and there we were running low on the cash money. And none of the restaurants were open anyway. Okay, fine, I may have miscalculated that part. But we still had a great time as we wandered around the aisles checking out all the great seafood on display.






Oh yeah. Fish market.


Multi-mode traffic here.




Freshly frozen. Or frozen when fresh. Or both.


That’s some big cephalopod.


Little Octpods with a love for exploring things not in their tank.






I should have jumped into that shot. Sorry, Korean Television.

Alright, not the whole time was great. MrsBarn stopped to do something and one of the people working there left his dolly (hand truck, whatever), as you do, standing next to her and when she turned around to walk again she basically kicked it directly in the metal plate with her shin. This was met with a moment where the Polish/Korean language barrier saved us from an even more awkward situation. And if you have to look for the good in everything then it’s good that there was lots of ice around to help keep the swelling down.

Mobility restored, we decided now would be as good a time as any to get cash. So we headed to the nearest bank to look for the mythical "international" ATM. And found nothing. But the helpful staff (who spoke nearly no English but more than we spoke Korean) eventually directed us down to the bank by the Pizza Hut… which also had no working International ATM. So we decided that we’d wander the neighbourhood and get food now, then head up to the next planned stop and find something there. And on the way, we’d try a few ATMs just to see. Let’s just say that I finally gave up hope and decided "screw it" but on the advice of MrsBarn I gave it one more go…. and success.

So if you are able to take nothing else away from this segment of the TR, let it be this. There is at least ONE International ATM within walking distance of Noryangjin Fish Market. The ATM seems to be at the intersection of Manyang-ro 14ga-gil, Manyang-ro 14-gil, and Manyang-ro 14ra-gil. Or at least at that corner you can see signs pointing to all of those streets. I’ve included a map of the area and a picture of said ATM, confirmed against Daum maps (which I only discovered far too late to be of help) which is a more complete option than google maps in Seoul. But it took my Visa Electron without issue and did not have a 100,000 daily limit.


The ATM.


Reminds me of Super Mario.

Now there may be more, but that’s what we found. So I pulled 200,000 knowing it would be far too much but I decided I’d rather eat the charges converting in SG rather than have to do this hunt again in our limited time. Then we sat down at a nearby Pomato and played the "let’s point at stuff on the menu and see what we get" game. Normally this works fine, because we’re not picky, but for some reason we kept getting really spicy stuff in Seoul, even when it shouldn’t be. So this time we had the Tteokbokki (which I knew to be spicy) and I figured "hey, let’s grab something safe" and went for two Gimbap… which turned out to be even spicier. How I managed to pick the spicy one from two identical pictures I’ll never know, but it made the meal interesting.


See? Interesting!

So moderately fed and warmed up we headed out again, this time up to Bukchon Hanok Village and the Bukchon Cultural Centre. So another run on the metro and we disembarked at Jongno-3Ga station. On the way we made a few stops for souvenirs and one for coffee. Then we kept on up the street and eventually worked our way up to the Bukchon Cultural Centre, which was actually pretty cool. It’s small, definitely, but it is:
a) in a great area filled with interesting buildings
b) very well done
c) free




Bukchon Cultural Centre






In ancient times, they would use these wooden boxes to help hide their AC units.

So that’s more or less the trifecta right there. Location, quality, free. It also took us only about half an hour to run through the full museum, although much of it was closed with a lot of shoes on the floor, so I suspect there was something going on in one of the houses that we missed. However, we had a busy day and we were actually running behind schedule (despite no clear thing to see beyond "palaces next"), so off we trekked toward the palaces. The first palace we arrived to was Changdeokgung, but being a Monday it was closed. So we headed over across to Gyeongbokgun. Before arriving, though, we had a run through a local neighbourhood and just checked out what it was like. Answer: small, but cool. And by small I mean Andorra small. Room for a car if you fold in the mirrors small. But very, very cool.


Changdeokgung






Buck buck number one!











After this we found ourselves going through the entrance at the National Folk Museum, where we decided "this is cool" and spent some time wandering the grounds and enjoying it. Of particular ineterst, I thought, were the buildings done up like Korea in the early part of the 20th century. So here’s a picture.


I’d eat here. Right now!

Next, we decided to take a walk through the folk museum and warm up. We started on the side of the Children’s Museum and worked our way back through the exhibits like Korean weddings, music, rites, medicine, etc. It was certainly interesting, even without a guide, as everything was explained well in both Korean and English. Finally we came to what I realize was the main entrance and a load of people milling around waiting for tours to start. But we were on an increasingly tight schedule and it was time to leave the museum to find some food. So off we trekked in the direction of Kwang Jang Market.


I love the fact that these fence-benches were designed and installed and then someone decided they’re unsafe enough that they need protection. That’s some fine architecture there.

Did you know that despite looking really close, Kwang Jang Market is actually a pretty decent walk from Gyeongbokgun? Well I did not, and you’re going to read a lot more about how my plans for the rest of this trip were just a little too intensive. But we did make it, after accidentally discovering Insadong-gil and buying a bunch of souvenirs and a South Korean flag for my collection. We also ran across something vaguely TV or movie related which caused a large crowd and a group of people attempting to keep the crowd under control. With the street effectively blocked, we had no choice but to watch.



Finally, just as some of us were starting to question if walking was a good idea, we arrived at Kwang Jang Market. Now I wasn’t sure what to expect and the entrance we came in was noticeably lacking in the food department, but we had a wander through the market, checking out the clothes and housewares and what appeared to be seafood gift trays, until we found the food area. And it was certainly a food area! Now the trick is to figure out what to have. This is actually a problem, as we never can easily decide what to eat. Too many options. For the Singapore side of the trip I had tried to do my homework in advance and even turned it into a game (but we’ll get to that). For the Korean trip, however, I didn’t spend as much time looking at "what’s the best place for X in Y" and so we just had a list of food we might like to try. And so we wandered the aisles looking at everything. And we found lots, but kept walking. Until at one point MrsBarn took an abrupt left turn into a restaurant and this will be a very apt metaphor for the rest of the meal.




Kwang Jang Market


I just have no idea, because the only thing I know that it is not is seafood.


Should have had those



For starters, we had no idea what we ordered, but the four old guys at the table next to us seemed to like whatever it was they were eating so we ordered that. Soup, of some kind, with seafood. It's the thing in the pans you see outside every restaurant, plus soup broth, I think. While waiting for ... whatever it was, the people next to us noticed our comments about how great their pancakes looked so they offered us some. And they were GREAT. But I only had a chance to eat one piece because a) I felt bad taking their food and b) our huge bowl of soup appeared. And it was huge. And spicy.


The guy on the left? Keep reading…


Forgive me if I did something wrong with the chopsticks here. I am vaguely aware of the existence of etiquette, but not much more.


The restaurant

I don’t know what all was in it or what the soft-shelled mussel-things were. They were, as far as I knew, filled with hot liquid and once you figured that out they were pretty tasty. The rest was also pretty good, and loads of it. I suspect we should have had two more people. And we almost did, because one of the old guys sitting next to us started talking to us and I don’t remember what exactly he said, but by this point I could say "Thank you" pretty convincingly. And that was apparently the best thing they’d heard all day, because now we had friends. Chatty friends. Mostly in Korean, though, which I don’t need to point out I still don’t speak beyond "Thank you", "excuse me", "hello" (thank you Arrested Development), "goodbye", and…. that’s about it. Some English, but only enough to keep us roughly on the same page.

I’ll spare you the gritty details for two reasons:
1) This is already a long post
2) If you just focus on the key points this story sounds legitimately crazy.

So basically, while working our way through this soup we "chatted to" this old (did I mention drunk) guy who was somewhere between 60 and 80 (he claimed in his 70s but it varied) and a salesman. Which was in fact SALES MAN because it was an acronym. In English. I do not remember the acronym and it was irrelevant because later he claimed instead to be a POWER MAN. And then he punched me in the balls.

Well, sort of. We worked out that he was demonstrating his martial arts abilities which I am certain that 20 years and 20 drinks earlier, were I standing up and not sitting at an odd angle, would have allowed him to do one of those awesome fist-stops 2 mm from his target. As it stands, he missed his stopping goal by about 4 mm. So the result was just a shock and not really pain. And then he beat me in a series of arm-wrestling matches and sold me a pen.

That really happened exactly as written. I have no upper body strength. Except the pen part is slightly untrue. He in fact sold me two pens for 1000KRW and after that series of events I just didn’t know how to say "no, I don’t want to buy your pen". So we each have a pen, now. I used it today, even. They’re okay pens. And I’ll skip ahead to the end here where he did give back the money on his way out, but I made him keep it because I thought an implausible story like this was well worth the 1000KRW.

Between the part where he got to his feet and made it to the door, though, he again defeated me in some contest where you put your feet together and then put in your right hand and pull on the other guy to knock them off balance? I forget the exact mechanics, but surprise was definitely on his side. And me not knowing the game. So I lost. People were looking at us funny, and I suspect they were blaming me for all of this somehow. It’s alright. I have a story now.

Our dinner finished, we wandered down the road, over the river, to the metro, past the oxford comma, and back to the hotel. We were more or less done for the evening and there was going to be no exploring the area, not to mention we needed to be up at dark-thirty to get ready for our flight…



The hostel entrance at night


Y’all come back now, y’hear?