What's the worst thing you've ever done/said on a plane?
Apr 11, 2017, 12:20 pm
#61
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: SEA
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Thanks for gassing up my giggle machine.
A buddy of mine was standing in line to buy a train ticket while listening to music on his Bose headphones and needed to fart. He would normally have walked out of the way of any collateral damage but didn't want to queue again, and, figuring that there was a lot of noise and no one would hear him he let rip. EVERYONE turned to look at him like the animal he is, and he then realised that the "noise" was all inside his headphones and that the ticket office was actually fairly quiet all along.
On Eurostar once I fell into a really deep and comfortable sleep. The kind of sleep you sometimes fall into in your favourite armchair at home.
I awoke, feeling really relaxed like I was actually at home. I gave out a big yawn, a huge stretch and one of the biggest rasping farts of my life. I instantly remembered that I was actually in a very busy Eurostar cabin and noticed the horrified look on my wife's face next to me. And then the looks from everyone else.
We were still nearly an hour from Paris.
I awoke, feeling really relaxed like I was actually at home. I gave out a big yawn, a huge stretch and one of the biggest rasping farts of my life. I instantly remembered that I was actually in a very busy Eurostar cabin and noticed the horrified look on my wife's face next to me. And then the looks from everyone else.
We were still nearly an hour from Paris.
Apr 11, 2017, 12:27 pm
#62
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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Apr 11, 2017, 2:15 pm
#63
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: NYC
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Posts: 24
vive le chocolat!
A few years back, I'm on a flight from Paris, flying coach. French parents have their headphones on and are reading, snacking, etc while their three kids, next to them, are terrorizing everyone. When the middle brat (about 8 yrs old) started squirting chocolate milk from a container on passengers and I got a few drops, I grabbed the container out of his hand and poured the contents on the mother's head. Passengers applauded. Parents sputtered - but finally took off their headphones and took charge of their kids. I still enjoy the applause 
Apr 11, 2017, 2:53 pm
#64
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: SFO or OAK
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You guys are amateurs! I'm guessing people who have actually done something BAD are not admitting it: Peeing on the lav floor during turbulence and not attempting to clean it up. Puking on your seatmate. Peeing in the aisle (Gerard Depardieu). Refusing to turn off devices (Alec Baldwin). Stealing beverages off the cart. Whatever. (BTW I have done NONE of these and can't think of a really bad thing I've ever done on a plane).
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/unite...-finneran.html
Apr 11, 2017, 3:56 pm
#65
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Sydney Australia
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I believe that looking out of a plane window is about the most amazing thing, especially when you are flying over parts of the world that you'll never, ever have a chance to see otherwise. So, I'm the guy on the long haul flights who keeps his window open. (I don't actually feel bad about it, but know that others feel that I should.)
Apr 11, 2017, 8:55 pm
#66
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: DFW
Posts: 8,036
Was flying to Louisville the other day on UA and the flight was, of course, oversold. UA was cheaping out on VDB comp and were getting no takers. Aircraft was boarded and the GA comes in and says they're going to IDB 4 pax, "chosen randomly." I told them there was no way I was getting off. Next thing I know, I'm being dragged off the aircraft. Didn't mean to cause such a scene, but I really wanted to get home to watch KUWTK.
Apr 12, 2017, 3:34 am
#67
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Knoteetingham
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Apr 12, 2017, 4:03 am
#68
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Now GodZone, Oz
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Not flatulent, well not as far as I know, but after a quite arduous couple of weeks in "deepest, darkest, very dry...", I fell asleep not long after take-off and dinner and drinks in J on EK DBX to SIN, middle aisle ... woke feeling quite refreshed after a couple of hours and remarked to the Purser that the previously full cabin now had heaps of empty seats around me (in 8K) ... apparently I snore!
Apr 12, 2017, 11:23 am
#70
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: SFO
Programs: AA, UA lowly commoner
Posts: 780
How interesting that this thread, which originally started out asking about things that FTers have done that were actually wrong, has elicited so many responses about outraged things people have done in response to the wrongful actions of others.
Apr 12, 2017, 12:55 pm
#71
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: South Yorkshire, UK
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Just remembered. I was one row behind bulkhead and the lady in front of me kept pushing her handbag into my foot space. I passed it back to her and she did the same again. When she wasn't looking I put it in the overhead right above her. Somewhere over Greenland she went to get something from the bag and freaked out because it wasn't there and accused me of stealing it. The cabin crew came over and asked her what it looked like. She told her and the CC said, "What, this one?" And pulled it out of the overhead. The lady began apologizing to everyone for shouting and to me for accusing me of taking it and I guess she just assumed she was losing her marbles.
Apr 12, 2017, 3:00 pm
#72
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I remembered another embarrassing incident from late last year.
Flew into PHL on a little CRJ. During the approach out of nowhere I desperately need to go to the little boys' room (I'd only had one drink in the past four hours or so!). I know I'm going to have to rush off the aircraft at the time we disembark but then there's an announcement we need to hold short of Terminal F as an aircraft is still on our gate. The FA announces they don't know how long we're going to be and I try to distract myself from nature's work down below. I am in the aisle seat and get the FA's attention doing a pretend "vomit" motion and pointing at the toilet. He OKs me to go to the back of the aircraft and I do pretend vomit sounds whilst I relieve myself. If I hadn't done that I know the inevitable would have happened before I'd got into the terminal.
Ha! I've done this in the last few months in F on shorthaul. Was in 2A and the woman in 1A puts her handbag under her seat. She is up in the toilet during boarding so I take the bag out and put it on the drinks tray between 1A and 1C. I have my feet stretched out under 1A to relax and then feel the handbag start coming back into my space. I take it out and hand it to her and tell her that isn't her space and she'll need to put it in the overhead lockers....which by this time are crammed full so has to wedge the thing in between two other bags up there.
Flew into PHL on a little CRJ. During the approach out of nowhere I desperately need to go to the little boys' room (I'd only had one drink in the past four hours or so!). I know I'm going to have to rush off the aircraft at the time we disembark but then there's an announcement we need to hold short of Terminal F as an aircraft is still on our gate. The FA announces they don't know how long we're going to be and I try to distract myself from nature's work down below. I am in the aisle seat and get the FA's attention doing a pretend "vomit" motion and pointing at the toilet. He OKs me to go to the back of the aircraft and I do pretend vomit sounds whilst I relieve myself. If I hadn't done that I know the inevitable would have happened before I'd got into the terminal.
Ha! I've done this in the last few months in F on shorthaul. Was in 2A and the woman in 1A puts her handbag under her seat. She is up in the toilet during boarding so I take the bag out and put it on the drinks tray between 1A and 1C. I have my feet stretched out under 1A to relax and then feel the handbag start coming back into my space. I take it out and hand it to her and tell her that isn't her space and she'll need to put it in the overhead lockers....which by this time are crammed full so has to wedge the thing in between two other bags up there.
Apr 13, 2017, 5:30 pm
#73
Join Date: Jul 2005
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About 30 minutes later I had to pee again and the lady in D was sleeping. So I just pulled out the airsick bag, hid my business under the blanket, and peed into the bag. Many hours later, when the lady in D woke and got up to pee, I also got up and took the bag and emptied in in the toilet. Never spilled a drop and my wife in E was totally unaware of what I did.
I did it so as not to have to get up to use the toilet, but convinced myself at the time that it was not to disturb the other person in the aisle seat.
Oddly enough, I tend to think that I surely cannot be the only person who has done this (myself a couple of times out of many hundreds of flights)
The very first time - when the flight landed my rather attractive seat mate commended me for not getting up during the duration of the long flight and disturbing her. I was still smiling at this praise days later
Apr 14, 2017, 9:32 am
#74
Moderator: Travel Buzz
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Sunny San Diego
Posts: 3,095
<snip> So I just pulled out the airsick bag, hid my business under the blanket, and peed into the bag. Many hours later, when the lady in D woke and got up to pee, I also got up and took the bag and emptied in in the toilet. Never spilled a drop and my wife in E was totally unaware of what I did.
Was flying to Louisville the other day on UA and the flight was, of course, oversold. UA was cheaping out on VDB comp and were getting no takers. Aircraft was boarded and the GA comes in and says they're going to IDB 4 pax, "chosen randomly." I told them there was no way I was getting off. Next thing I know, I'm being dragged off the aircraft. Didn't mean to cause such a scene, but I really wanted to get home to watch KUWTK.
Too funny!
Apr 15, 2017, 12:10 am
#75
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 283
Once I was in an Ottawa-Calgary flight. There was a young man in my row who was traveling with a school group and looked to be about 14 years old.
He asked me to buy him a glass of wine with a ten dollar bill he handed me. I gave it back and loudly said, "No. I will not buy a minor a glass of wine". His teacher heard me, and he was pretty embarrassed.
Chuck
He asked me to buy him a glass of wine with a ten dollar bill he handed me. I gave it back and loudly said, "No. I will not buy a minor a glass of wine". His teacher heard me, and he was pretty embarrassed.
Chuck