The weirdest message you've ever heard on a plane
Jul 19, 2015, 4:34 pm
#31
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Southwest safety announcement leaving LAX to ORD included such gems as
"If the cabin loses pressure then we are in big BIG trouble, but don't worry as happy masks will appear in front of you. Put them on as best you can while we dive. Tighten the elastic bands until you look FABULOUS and then breath like crazy" and "In the event of a water landing then we've really screwed up"
"If the cabin loses pressure then we are in big BIG trouble, but don't worry as happy masks will appear in front of you. Put them on as best you can while we dive. Tighten the elastic bands until you look FABULOUS and then breath like crazy" and "In the event of a water landing then we've really screwed up"
Jul 19, 2015, 4:51 pm
#32
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Have also heard this one on WN between Houston and Las Vegas, with the flight attendant also noting that it was a sign we were also really off course because there just wasn't really any water to land on between the two cities.
Jul 19, 2015, 9:27 pm
#34
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Jul 19, 2015, 9:41 pm
#35
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Uh, I'm fairly certain there are some bodies of water between those cities. Lake Mead at a minimum.
Jul 19, 2015, 10:33 pm
#36
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder
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"In the unlikely event of a water landing between Oklahoma and Denver..."
Jul 19, 2015, 11:20 pm
#37
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Ooo, I'd be immensely annoyed if the pilot managed to hit a puddle between somewhere like Texas and Denver. If they're crashing they shouldn't have enough spare attention to aim for a puddle.
Jul 19, 2015, 11:33 pm
#38
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Jul 20, 2015, 3:15 am
#39
Join Date: May 2010
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PHX-YUM flight:
"In case we need to land in somebody's pool, you can use the seat cushion as floatation device."
LAX-SAN flight:
"We will soon reach our cruising altitude, where you will be able to use your electronic devices for a while, before I ask you to turn them off again."
10 seconds later:
"It now safe to use your electronic devices"
followed by 5 seconds later with:
"We have just started our descend, please turn off all electronic devices..."
"In case we need to land in somebody's pool, you can use the seat cushion as floatation device."
LAX-SAN flight:
"We will soon reach our cruising altitude, where you will be able to use your electronic devices for a while, before I ask you to turn them off again."
10 seconds later:
"It now safe to use your electronic devices"
followed by 5 seconds later with:
"We have just started our descend, please turn off all electronic devices..."
Jul 20, 2015, 4:32 am
#40
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Jul 20, 2015, 7:16 am
#42
Join Date: Jun 2006
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Heard the captain say this one a while back when many US airlines were in Chapter 11 at the same time: "Folks, we know you have many bankrupt airlines to choose from so thank you for choosing Delta". Got a good laugh from the passengers.
Jul 20, 2015, 7:18 am
#43
Join Date: Jan 2014
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On a AIR flight from NPL to AKL.
"In case of an emergency in-flight, I'll be out the door with my own parachute. Sorry to the rest of you folks, but it's the usual safety spiel for you."
"In case of an emergency in-flight, I'll be out the door with my own parachute. Sorry to the rest of you folks, but it's the usual safety spiel for you."
Jul 20, 2015, 7:21 am
#44
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One of my favorites! HAHA!! (One of the few on this list I've actually heard before, either 1st or 2nd hand)
Jul 20, 2015, 9:14 am
#45
Join Date: Feb 2015
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"This LAX based flight crew thanks you for flying Delta; we hope you've enjoyed giving us the business as much as we've enjoyed taking you for a ride." I was on OKC-MSP-LAX-KOA with the $70 error fare from December 2013 and indeed highly enjoyed it.
Speaking of buses, a few months ago I took my first Greyhound in flyover country (I specify because buses on the coasts seem to be unknown to the kind of characters that you see at the bus stations in, say, Little Rock or Oklahoma City). The pre-departure announcement included a warning that "physical violence or selling drugs on board a Greyhound bus is a federal offense and we will have the police waiting for you when we arrive." I'm waiting for the time a flight crew feels compelled to mention that.
Speaking of buses, a few months ago I took my first Greyhound in flyover country (I specify because buses on the coasts seem to be unknown to the kind of characters that you see at the bus stations in, say, Little Rock or Oklahoma City). The pre-departure announcement included a warning that "physical violence or selling drugs on board a Greyhound bus is a federal offense and we will have the police waiting for you when we arrive." I'm waiting for the time a flight crew feels compelled to mention that.