Who gets the sofabed?
Nov 21, 2014, 7:27 am
#46
Join Date: May 2013
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Nov 21, 2014, 8:01 am
#47
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: CLE
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Oh for heaven's sake! The friend asked. If he was being manipulative, then you could have called him on it by saying you wanted the bed. If he was being polite, you still could have gotten what you wanted by saying you wanted the bed. In any event, you are mad because he couldn't read your mind. This is where marriages and friendships go bad. People expect others to read their minds so they don't have to ask for what they want.
I have seen situations where neither person got what they wanted and in fact both got what they didn't want because neither would say what they really wanted.
The other way we go wrong is when we impute motives to others. We have no idea why the friend asked. We can assume he was being manipulative and drop him as a friend or mistrust him. Or we can assume we was being polite and continue a friendship. Or we can say we just don't know and continue and be a bit wary maybe. Me, I prefer to assume the best until the evidence accumulates and I know.
I have seen situations where neither person got what they wanted and in fact both got what they didn't want because neither would say what they really wanted.
The other way we go wrong is when we impute motives to others. We have no idea why the friend asked. We can assume he was being manipulative and drop him as a friend or mistrust him. Or we can assume we was being polite and continue a friendship. Or we can say we just don't know and continue and be a bit wary maybe. Me, I prefer to assume the best until the evidence accumulates and I know.
Nov 21, 2014, 8:23 pm
#48
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: ORD
Posts: 870
Reading this thread, I am so glad that I don't have friends like some of you. Being nice to a friend for one night in your life will not destroy your life....sheesh. Everyone can have money, but not everyone can have class.
Nov 22, 2014, 8:45 pm
#49
Join Date: Feb 2010
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Unfortunately, money status, number of points or miles are assumed to have class....in the minds of many who have it.
Nov 23, 2014, 11:46 am
#51
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A friend and I were visiting the same city. I offered to redeem my Marriott free night certificate and I booked a king + sofabed. (No luck with double beds.) My friend, paying nothing, would sleep on the sofabed.
Or so I presumed. When we checked in, he asked me which bed I wanted. I returned the question immediately; he said we should flip a coin.
I won. But I was shocked that he, a respectful fellow, would even suggest that I take the sofabed when I had effectively paid in full.
What do you think?
Or so I presumed. When we checked in, he asked me which bed I wanted. I returned the question immediately; he said we should flip a coin.
I won. But I was shocked that he, a respectful fellow, would even suggest that I take the sofabed when I had effectively paid in full.
What do you think?
Nov 23, 2014, 12:05 pm
#52
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,379
I personally think all the people going on about how the person paying for the room should get the least comfortable bed out of "politeness" are being beyond ridiculous. It works both ways, if it's impolite to not take the sofa then it's impolite for the other person to accept the bed.
Unless there's a reason why I shouldn't (e.g. they have back/medical problems or any other extenuating circumstances), if I pay for the bed then I get the bed. (And I have no money and few points/miles...)
I take it if any of you have a guest over at your house you move out of your bedroom and give the guest your bed while you sleep in the spare room/on the sofa?
Nov 23, 2014, 4:16 pm
#53
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: ORD
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Posts: 9,883
Where on Earth does that come from?
I personally think all the people going on about how the person paying for the room should get the least comfortable bed out of "politeness" are being beyond ridiculous. It works both ways, if it's impolite to not take the sofa then it's impolite for the other person to accept the bed.
Unless there's a reason why I shouldn't (e.g. they have back/medical problems or any other extenuating circumstances), if I pay for the bed then I get the bed. (And I have no money and few points/miles...)
I take it if any of you have a guest over at your house you move out of your bedroom and give the guest your bed while you sleep in the spare room/on the sofa?
I personally think all the people going on about how the person paying for the room should get the least comfortable bed out of "politeness" are being beyond ridiculous. It works both ways, if it's impolite to not take the sofa then it's impolite for the other person to accept the bed.
Unless there's a reason why I shouldn't (e.g. they have back/medical problems or any other extenuating circumstances), if I pay for the bed then I get the bed. (And I have no money and few points/miles...)
I take it if any of you have a guest over at your house you move out of your bedroom and give the guest your bed while you sleep in the spare room/on the sofa?
BTW, we have regularly given up our master bedroom to guests. We do not ask them nor offer it...we just tell them where they are sleeping. If our guests are worth inviting to our home, they definitely worth the best bed room. Such is the culture in other parts of the world.
Nov 23, 2014, 7:38 pm
#54
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Nov 23, 2014, 7:51 pm
#55
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Perhaps it's a cultural thing (as HMPS says), but I'd be very happy to be offered even a sofa bed for free, especially in a pricey city and/or hotel.
Nov 25, 2014, 5:45 am
#57
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Looks like you are agreeing !
BTW, we have regularly given up our master bedroom to guests. We do not ask them nor offer it...we just tell them where they are sleeping. If our guests are worth inviting to our home, they definitely worth the best bed room. Such is the culture in other parts of the world.
BTW, we have regularly given up our master bedroom to guests. We do not ask them nor offer it...we just tell them where they are sleeping. If our guests are worth inviting to our home, they definitely worth the best bed room. Such is the culture in other parts of the world.
Nov 25, 2014, 6:07 am
#58
Join Date: Oct 2004
Programs: Delta, GM; HHonors, Gold
Posts: 258
I would have told him I was taking the sofa-bed and
dispensed with the issue immediately.
Yes, it is my room... but I like to be a gracious host
and not have my friends consider me a stinker.
I think your friend just wanted to dispense with what
was obviously the elephant in the room at the time.
dispensed with the issue immediately.
Yes, it is my room... but I like to be a gracious host
and not have my friends consider me a stinker.
I think your friend just wanted to dispense with what
was obviously the elephant in the room at the time.
Both parties show a lack of it.
Nov 25, 2014, 6:21 am
#59
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Atl
Programs: Delta Plat, Marriott Gold
Posts: 11
did he offer to split the room but you offered to buy it with points instead? If so than I think your friend is entitled to flip for the bed as you volunteered to cover the whole cost. If your friend made no mention of picking up their half of the room or at least buy you a couple of beers then they were out of line in assuming they had a say in the matter.
Now, is it worth making it awkward as soon as your trip begins? That's another story...
Now, is it worth making it awkward as soon as your trip begins? That's another story...
Nov 25, 2014, 6:40 am
#60
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: NW London and NW Sydney
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Culture may be one thing, but the reason we have a guest room is for guests, not for us when we have guests! I wouldn't be comfortable sleeping in someone else's master bedroom anyway but if they had already set it up then I suppose it would be even more impolite to refuse.
Sometimes I will actually book a hotel for my "guests", after I caught some nosy aunts and uncles looking through my tax records while they thought I was sleeping...