kipper

I posted this situation on the I REALLY don't like Christmas thread in OMNI, but thought I'd solicit the opinions of other pet owners to see if we were being unrealistic, etc.

We headed to visit Mr. Kipper's parents, and then my parents for Christmas. My sister and BIL were going to spend a few hours at my parents' house on Christmas Day, with us.

This year, my sister and BIL decided to convey to my parents that, while they were there, we needed to confine our dogs, because three years ago, Geno, who was still very afraid of new people, nipped at his foot as he was walking by Geno.

I agreed to confine the dogs to my old bedroom, but told my mother that next year, if the dogs will need to be confined, we'll stay home. Geno has issues being confined to just one room (He hates it, and whines like crazy. I can assume it's probably something from his background.) My sister and BIL insist on all sorts of special meal items, schedules, etc. when they are there, and Mr. Kipper and I are tired of catering to their whims, so because my kibblers are my kids, this prompted me to take a stand.

On Christmas Eve, my mother picks a fight with me, over the ultimatum I gave her about next year and confining the dogs. Apparently, my sister's comment of, "If the dogs aren't confined, we aren't coming" isn't an ultimatum. *shrug* The fight results in tears, lots of dragging up past actions on all ends (like the year Mr. Kipper and I left without having Christmas dinner, because my sister and BIL were almost 2 hours late, and we had to meet my in-laws for dinner later, yet it was all our fault, because how dare we be upset they were late, and how dare we leave), and assorted messages being communicated to all involved.

Mr. Kipper and I almost left on Christmas Eve, basically because I decided that if I was going to get blamed for ruining Christmas, I may as well ruin Christmas from the comfort of my own home, and not deal with anyone else. I called my sister and basically told her that she and my BIL (who I think needs to put on his big boy pants) wouldn't need to worry about the dogs, as they'd be several hours away by the time they got there on Christmas Day, because we were leaving. I finally decided to stay, because my mother has some health issues, and I don't know how many more Christmases we'll have with her. Yes, that darn Catholic guilt kicked in there.

Late on Christmas Eve, my sister sent my father an email, telling him that they could've had Geno euthanized, because he nipped my BIL, and that my BIL is terrified of Geno, because he's mean and vicious. Geno is so mean and vicious that on Christmas Day, he sprawled out on the sofa with my father, allowed my father to give him a belly rub, and then thanked him by grooming his neck and ear for about five minutes.

While we were eating breakfast on Christmas Day, my sister sent my father a text explaining that because we're refusing to confine the dogs next year, they weren't coming to Christmas dinner this year.

So, did we overreact? Is there a better solution than confining the dogs to one room, but that will allow us all to spend Christmas together in the future? Mr. Kipper and I are pondering just staying home next year, especially since we should be in a different house by then, and telling everyone that they're welcome to join us, but that we're staying home.

CDTraveler

To be frank, I don't the situation is about the dogs at all. Sounds like long standing sibling issues to me...

kipper

Long-standing sibling issues, now acted out over the excuse of the dogs? If we had small dogs, I'd simply buy a few baby gates, and strategically place them to block certain exits/entrances to rooms, but I think both dogs would jump them if we tried.

CDTraveler

Any good power struggle needs a theme.

[I have 4 siblings]

Plus, some people are just not "dog people". I'm one of them; I hated my ex in-laws' stinky, large dogs who were allowed to jump all over people and rub their far-from-pleasant scent on you. I'll admit our cats are hopelessly spoiled, but when we have non-cat lovers over, I will confine them to basement out of respect for guests.

kipper

I guess...

I know my BIL is more of a cat person, but they allow their cat to jump all over people if she wants, and they've been known to value spending time with her more than with the family, which is probably part of why I was really annoyed.

RSSrsvp

It sounds to me like they have a double standard when it comes dogs vs. cats. IMHO your BIL's comment about having Geno euthanized was over the top and he was trying to push your buttons and get you to react in an aggressive manner thereby making you out to be the "bad guy".

I also believe that CDTraveler's assessment has some validity. @:-)

kipper

I've figured out that yes, they want me to be the bad guy, and I'm tired of it. If being the bad guy means staying home for the holidays, then I guess we will.

That said, any solutions between confining my dogs to one bedroom and just allowing them to run free in the house that might be viable? They're 60 pound dogs, so baby gates aren't probably going to cut it.

If it wasn't a holiday, I'd give serious thought to doggy day care while my sister and BIL are there, but since it's a holiday, that would mean boarding them.