Punki

Like ksandness, I believe that we are all children of the same God, all seeking him/her in the best way we know.

While we all share the same ultimate goal, we do travel different paths, which are usually the result of nothing more significant than the circumstance of our birth. I sometimes imagine God smiling gently, and acceptingly, at our stumbling efforts and missteps along the way--but, we are, after all, only human, with a very minuscule understanding of the mind of God, so what else would God expect?

As long as we seek with a pure heart, no matter which path we choose, I am sure that God embraces our efforts, and loves us more than we can imagine, even when we temporarily falter on the particular path we have chosen.

I personally am a convert to Catholicism, a decision made mostly because of this most insightful line, which was on the first page of the introduction to my catechism:

"If you become a Catholic (insert any religion), never become overly-proud of your religion. There will always be those who serve the Lord far better than you, who have never heard his name."

In any house of worship I enter, I try to be as respectful as possible, try to understand as much as possible, learn as much as possible, and just fit in.

The only time that I have ever felt uncomfortable during a religious service was at an Othodox Bar Mitzvah where, during the first two hours, the mink-clad women of congregation were continuously occupied in casual conversation. I was uncomfortable because my very young children kept whispering to me that I should tell the women to "shssssssh" in Church.

lg10

I think Dovster has made excellent choices.

I recently read a relevant book about this: "How to be a Perfect Stranger..."
which is an etiquette book about what to expect (and how to behave) as
a guest at a wide variety of religious rituals.

Sometimes it's hard to know - I'd never been to a Catholic service, but
at a graduation at a Jesuit college, the speaker said something like "God be with you" (is that
right?) and the entire room seemed to know to say back something that
sounded like "and also with you" and I felt like a supreme idiot for not knowing
that I should have said that.

I'm so glad that most people are patient with others who are trying their best
to be sensitive/aware.

--LG

kanebear

Speaking of discomfort in other's churches... I about had a heart attack at Lakewood Church in Houston. I went one Sunday, invited by an acquaintance. I've always been interested in other religions and attended Episcopalian private school as a child. Didn't take long to find out why I'd been invited. Shortly after we arrived, I was introduced to another 'friend' and after a bit of introductory get-to-know-you was asked if I wanted to become a member and solicited for a donation. I was told that for a mere $2500 I could have a plaque on the "wall of honor" or somesuch. I politely declined, stayed for a few minutes longer and excused myself. I'll put up with mink-clad conversation over pocket-picking any day of the week.

Punki

It wasn't so much the conversation that made me uncomortable, as it was my kids whispering, "Mommy, mommy, make them shhhhsh".

lg10

If it makes you feel better, both would have made me uncomfortable and I've
been to thousands of Orthodox Jewish services.

Probably what would have made me most uncomfortable in that particular
service would have been seeing that a nonJewish guest was getting that kind
of opinion/view of the Jewish service! I would feel really embarassed about
all the conversation.

--LG

Punki

I had the tremendous privilege of being a friend of the amazing Rabbie Raph Lavine, who was a lliving testimony to ecumenism--for those of you who are literalists, he would have known what I meant. He helped me understand that almost anything can happen during a religious service, and that it is all ok, as long as it is done in the pursuit of the pursuit of Yahweh, no matter what we call him/her.

My discomfort during this service came from the fact that this was my first realization that my kids really saw me as the "controlling factor" of all appropriate and/or inappropriate behavior, on a large scale.

Fortunately, they have released me from that obligation. ^

lg10

I think that's really sweet, actually, that your kids saw you as so
strong.

--LG

Green Dragon

Here's a rather bizarre example of being at a religious ceremony and being unfamiliar with the rituals:

My husband and I signed up for a dusk tour of Stonehenge in 2005, and found out that we were the only visitors there other than a group of Wiccans doing a full moon ceremony. Now, I'm pagan, but there are many different branches of Wicca alone, so not knowing the level of 'comfort', I asked. I had been planning on enjoying the stones, getting pictures, and relaxing in the circle. Since the group was doing a ceremony, I asked if there was anything they would prefer we do/not do during the ceremony (which only lasted about 20 minutes of the hour we had in the stones). They said to do as I liked, except walk into their circle while it was sealed, and that I could take pictures or film of them if I wished. They were very nice about it all - and we both tried to be very unobtrusive, while still enjoying our time in the area.

Afterwards, we all chatted and got to know eachother

sinfonia

A friend and I (one male, one female) visited a Serbian Orthodox church in Dubrovnik. This was our first time in a Serbian Orthodox church. We found two available seats and sat. During the service, we received a few somewhat askance glances (not understanding why as we believed that we had dressed appropriately), and it finally occurred to me, literally about five minutes before the service had finished, that all of the women were seated on one side and all of the men on the other side of the sanctuary. We were both plumbly sitting together in the heart of the male side, completely oblivious to our offense.

It was a lesson I will definitely remember when visiting other unfamiliar churches in the future.

OccasionalFlyerPerson

I'm not religious at all, but I try to be very respectful when I enter a house of worship.

WilcoRoger

This. Especially during service. I don't try to imitate what the believers do during service, that might come through as mocking them - but when they stand, I stand, when they sit, I sit.

E.g. in the Istambul Blue (Süleymaniye) Mosque during Friday prayers, I sat in the back, cross legged during the whole time. In Christian churches I sit in the back row. Etc, etc.