Started off TSA at FLL's day the right way

Love it, I go to security at 4 AM, no other pax, I go to walk through metal detector they point to the X-Ray, I say no thanks, call an opt-out, I go through and proceed to lecture the TSO on how the US security is a joke, I tell him change gloves. I hope I started their day off in the right way.

Good for you! I have done this once or twice myself and was asked in RIC if I was kidding. I said no I was not, but if he (the smurf) thought that all this security theatre was actually doing something then he was kidding himself.

Congratulations!

You started the day "the right way" by getting yourself a free, same-sex, feel up.

While, personally, this would not set my bells ringing each of us is entitled to get his jollies (with another consenting adult) anyway that he wants and I hope you are as successful in all similar attempts.

(Even if I were so inclined I would not choose FLL for it. There is no smoking in the airport. However, if you do this in ATL you can go right from the feel up to one of the many smoking areas, stretch out, and light up.

(I would also prefer doing it in the evening as I don't enjoy morning booze. In ATL, you can get a drink at the landside bar, get your feel up at Security, and then puff away airside.

(Remember what they say: The three best things in the world are a drink first and a cigarette afterwards.)

Hey... if they want that government paycheck that badly, they get to earn that government paycheck...

I make them earn it EVERY TIME!

I have had 14 OPT-OUT patdowns so far, and ATD won't stop me from opting out, either! I make sure to talk to others in line, and generally provoke several opt-outs in addition.

I always comment "Your kids must be proud of you" or "I wish I had your job - NOT" after every patdown rubdown.

I, too, would want 14 feel ups -- at a very minimum -- if a particular one-striper in Vegas's McCarran Airport was offering it.

Unfortunately, this particular knock-out blonde was not only just checking IDs, but was working on the wrong side of the airport (for me). She was at the entry to the B gates and I was flying out of a D gate.

While getting felt up by a man does not overly bother me I have to confess that it really doesn't constitute what I consider starting off the day "the right way". I guess I am sort of strange that way.

Irony bro, irony.

Which terminal where you fly out from? I need to know what exactly happened in FLL yesterday early morning. Are you fly out DL terminal 2 or T3? Which concourse E or F?

Alas, as you know, US feel-ups are strictly same-sex.

But you've got it good in Israel. No matter how hard I tried, though, I couldn't get any of the airport security women to give me a patdown. Knockouts, every one of them.

Mike

I do this so often in DL's FLL terminal 2 they are used to me.

I especially love at that early hour you hear one of them loudly exclaim..............ALREADY!?!

I think the word you're looking for is "yofi"

term REDACTED BY MODERATOR I'm flying out of FLL at the same time quite shortly, and was hoping they wouldn't have the machines fired up at that hour. I already have a one-way car rental reservation from FLL to RSW in the event that it doesn't work out (I won't let them scan me or touch my junk, so it seems I may end up getting the boot).

--Jon

I have the joy of going through PHX security at least once a week and here they use the nudoscopes as PRIMARY screening so I always get a grope. I agree - make them earn it.

To start with, refuse to stand next to the radiation machine, where they tell you to stand, on the grounds that it is potentially unsafe. Make sure other PAX hear your concerns regarding the unpublished radiation risks of the machine. I usually get several other opt outs while I do this. Do everything calmly but in a voice that can be heard.

Then complain that you cannot see your baggage (which you cannot see if you stood next to the SCANNER -(derogatory term redacted by moderator) anyway.) Again it is amazing how uninitiated PAX suddenly start watching their belongings and making it more difficult for a TSO to steal.

Lastly, get the TSO who feels you up to change gloves and tell him what a waste of his time, your time and taxpayer money the whole fiasco is.

It is not just about making the TSOs earn their ill gotten pay but also to inform other passengers of the dangers and their rights.

^

Seriously, though, they were mind-readers. My wife and I were traveling through TLV and they started speaking to her in Hebrew. Now, she's an American but spent a good deal of her childhood in Israel and speaks fluent Hebrew. On the other hand, they asked me (in English), "Do you speak any Hebrew?," to which I replied, "About ten words." "Oh, what you learned in Hebrew school?" I don't know how they could tell all this just by looking at us, but I appreciated the extra time to gawk while they chatted with my wife.

Mike

I am sure some TSOs go on a power trip and consider themselves omnipotent. But for the rest, it's just a job man. They have a regular life, with maybe a wife and two kids to go home to. He supports his family, watch his kids grow up, enjoy a good meal, and probably hates his job too.

What's the point of making a rude comment to a TSO (term removed by moderator) when your real grudge is against the system? I hate the security theater just like the next person but I would never make a snarky comment like "Your kids must be proud of you"