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Wearing a kilt and getting felt up by the TSA-a voyeur's story at IAH
I normally use the never busy connector checkpoint between IAH's C-E, but a traveling companion had to check a bag for this int'l flight so we went to the main IAH E lobby entrance. This was fortuitous because it provided much needed humour for my evening.
So…, I'm in line at Terminal E's main TSA checkpoint at IAH and there are two gentlemen about 10-12 spots in front of me in line wearing kilts. No one is actually paying them much extra attention (and I have seen men in kilts before at IAH and other US airports) and we all continue toward the belts/bins. Well then we get up to the WTMD. One of the "kilted" men was chosen for a random (as he did not alarm) secondary it seems; they had “placed” him into their magic plexi-glass cube of indignity to do the pat down. Here is where it gets funny. I wait by the belt and slowly put my shoes on so I can hear and watch some of the fun. The TSOgre says immediately, and I quote EXACTLY “Why you wearin’ a skirt bro?”. The kilted traveler just kind of stood in a stunned silence. The TSOgre proceeds to pat the front and back of the torso down but then stops at the waist and calls a supervisor. Mister pay band F supervisor shows up and the TSA’s finest continue to chat about how to pay down the lower body. The line lackey TSOgre suggested the gentleman raise his kilt (No I am not kidding…), to which the Band F supervisor actually says “That is not a good idea”. At this point the other kilted man had put his shoes back on and walked away and I had to go as well. When I left the kilted traveler was laughing and in good spirits.
I didn't stay longer to watch because I wanted to get to the newly improved IAH USO to grab some extra beverages for my flight, and then on to the Presidents Club for free drinks. Free-Drinks being my key calling that evening… and the fact my companion was .....ing about just standing there watching. So I did not see the final finish, but what I saw was quite humourous so I wanted to share.
I am curious if any of our COMPETENT resident TSOs could shed light on the policy for men in skirts, kilts, robes, togas, etc? I’ve emailed some TSO members I know to get their take as well.
I’m tempted to fly in a toga next week just to see what happens.
( A disclaimer before any feckless TSA members suggest I want terrorists in kilts to get a free pass at the WTMD: I have no major issues with searching people that alarm WTMDs, for example, no matter what their attire. I am just curious as to the TSA policy is re: that subject.)
Ciao,
FH
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyingHoustonian
The TSOgre says immediately, and I quote EXACTLY “Why you wearin’ a skirt bro?”.
I would just like to know why the TSO's felt it was any of his business what the man was wearing and why. Even if the man was wearing a gold taffeta evening gown and a feather boa, it is none of the TSOs business.
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I would just like to know why the TSO's felt it was any of his business what the man was wearing and why. Even if the man was wearing a gold taffeta evening gown and a feather boa, it is none of the TSOs business.
How right you are about the clothing, but just chalk another one up for the professionals at TSA.
Jesse Ventura used to appear in public with a feather boa.
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Actually neither was a tartan type colour. One was a beige colour like one available via your link and the other was a solid dark green (which could signify several different things).
I've seen the TSOgre, who asked about the kilt, on duty several times there. He strikes me as slow, cumbersome, incurious, and just generally not-to-swift.
The band F supervisor actually carried himself quite strongly and seemed to actually be trying to figure out a proper way to solve the "problem" without causing the traveler too many problems/embarrassment.
I know a couple of TSOs at IAH and am inquiring about the employee who started the process. I’d love more background. Not because I am a snob (though I most likely am) but because I am curious about the people tasked with “keeping us safe” as many TSA members here have quoted.
I’ve seen monks in robes, and other kilted travelers before at IAH (and other USA airports) and they have never been receiving a secondary. Maybe it is a better way to travel?
Come to think of it how do the female TSA members feel up a female traveler in a skirt? I mean are we talking network tv rating type of video, or cable, USAupallnight, Cinemax, German broadcast, or pay by the hour porn type of feel ups for a secondary?
Ciao,
FH
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Actually neither was a tartan type colour. One was a beige colour like one available via your link and the other was a solid dark green (which could signify several different things).
I've seen the TSOgre, who asked about the kilt, on duty several times there. He strikes me as slow, cumbersome, incurious, and just generally not-to-swift.
The band F supervisor actually carried himself quite strongly and seemed to actually be trying to figure out a proper way to solve the "problem" without causing the traveler too many problems/embarrassment.
I know a couple of TSOs at IAH and am inquiring about the employee who started the process. I’d love more background. Not because I am a snob (though I most likely am) but because I am curious about the people tasked with “keeping us safe” as many TSA members here have quoted.
I’ve seen monks in robes, and other kilted travelers before at IAH (and other USA airports) and they have never been receiving a secondary. Maybe it is a better way to travel?
Come to think of it how do the female TSA members feel up a female traveler in a skirt? I mean are we talking network tv rating type of video, or cable, USAupallnight, Cinemax, German broadcast, or pay by the hour porn type of feel ups for a secondary?
The only time I was ever subject to a secondary, I was wearing a skirt (which probably influenced my getting stuck with it). She just worked through the skirt as if it was a pair of slacks. I think it's probably less fraught with embarrassment when done to women by women -- our distal private parts pretty much stay out of the way.
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Question - If the kilt wearer is wearing nothing underneath (as I understand is the proper method), and the TSO person requests he "lift the kilt", would the wearer be subject to an indecent exposure charge as a result?
Question - If the kilt wearer is wearing nothing underneath (as I understand is the proper method), and the TSO person requests he "lift the kilt", would the wearer be subject to an indecent exposure charge as a result?
DD
Just complying with the request from the TSO, officer. Can't have me interfering with a security checkpoint now can we? He should have asked if I had anything on underneath before telling me to lift my kilt.
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I am not a zek being transported to a gulag. I am an American citizen just traveling.
Actually neither was a tartan type colour. One was a beige colour like one available via your link and the other was a solid dark green (which could signify several different things).
I'm of Irish heritage. I found out several years ago that the Irish (unlike the Scots) generally do not have family-unique patterns like a tartan. They generally wear a solid color kilt. So, these guys could have been some of my fellow Irishmen.
When the Tartan Army (the name of the travelling supporters of Scotland at international football fixtures) travel, they generally all travel in kilts, as the full things are very heavy, and it's easier to wear them than pack them.
Unsurprisingly, Edinburgh and Glasgow don't generally bat an eye, since they see enough kilts, and they are in Scotland. We've had reports that LGW have insisted that all of the accoutrements (kilts are generally worn with kilt pins and various other chunks of metal, so they don't gap and inadvertently reveal the <ahem> crown jewels) can not be worn on aircraft, requiring an entire aircraft of Tartan Army to have to make their way to check-in to recheck bags. Most Scots know to check their sgian dubhs (the ceremonial daggers worn in the sock as part of the traditional outfit) or get replicas - although a friend had his replica (consisting of a handle and a scabbard and no blade, bought especially for when he was travelling without checking a bag) confiscated at EDI recently - and got an apologetic letter back when he complained about this.
But I suppose it's not too surprising that a US airport is unsure about how to search someone in a kilt. What is extremely surprising is that any government employee would ask such a culturally and racially insensitive question as 'why are you wearing a skirt?' Please god, never let him meet the Tartan Army, as while they are generally good natured, peaceable and law abiding, a question like that would likely see him decked. Does the US government not require any form of diversity training for its employees?
