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A bit surprised at the level of sexism I saw in a restaurant
I thought this was a bit of a thing of the past, and was pretty surprised by it. I was taken out to a business dinner last night by two woman who work for the same company, of which I am a customer. One was 15 to 20 years younger than me, the other maybe 5 years younger than her (Im in my mid 50s). I was dressed fairly casually, they were both dressed much more business like. We went to a nice place in a nice area of Manhattan which shall remain nameless. As soon as we were seated I was asked if I wanted to see the wine list. I deferred to the woman who invited me, and she said yes. The wine list soon appeared and was given to....me. I didnt open it but again handed it to my host. I was asked to order wine and again deferred. After that, they finally caught on. I havent seen that happen in a long time. It used to happen a lot, but most places I go now are pretty careful about it and ask who would like to see the list. What have other people experienced? By the way, the dinner was lovely, Im just curious as to what others see.
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Happens all the time with me, especially when they open the wine. The server "always" starts to pour a taste in my glass and I "always" tell them to let my wife taste it. Part of it is courtesy on my part, but the real reason is that I want to know if she likes it. I'll drink anything that runs downhill...
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Nothing unusual-did the women say something or indicate anything amiss? Btw, you handled it well it seems, I have taken a client out where it was not handled so cleanly but I was still paying in the end
Nothing unusual-did the women say something or indicate anything amiss? Btw, you handled it well it seems, I have taken a client out where it was not handled so cleanly but I was still paying in the end
One of them made a brief comment about it after the second or third event.
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I thought this was a bit of a thing of the past, and was pretty surprised by it. I was taken out to a business dinner last night by two woman who work for the same company, of which I am a customer. One was 15 to 20 years younger than me, the other maybe 5 years younger than her (Im in my mid 50s). I was dressed fairly casually, they were both dressed much more business like. We went to a nice place in a nice area of Manhattan which shall remain nameless. As soon as we were seated I was asked if I wanted to see the wine list. I deferred to the woman who invited me, and she said yes. The wine list soon appeared and was given to....me. I didnt open it but again handed it to my host. I was asked to order wine and again deferred. After that, they finally caught on. I havent seen that happen in a long time. It used to happen a lot, but most places I go now are pretty careful about it and ask who would like to see the list. What have other people experienced? By the way, the dinner was lovely, Im just curious as to what others see.
The waiter must of thought you were some sort of stud juggling two lovely ladies and all.
There is a terrific old-school restaurant here in Las Vegas where the host still gives the men the menus with prices, no prices for the ladies. I had thought this practice was dead but, in a strange way, I find it endearing. It's not like I'm not going to ask what the price of the Chateau Briand has risen to.
I abhor sexism but these types of things don't bother me much, although after the first time referring the waiter to the women, he should have gotten the message.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennj99738
There is a terrific old-school restaurant here in Las Vegas where the host still gives the men the menus with prices, no prices for the ladies. I had thought this practice was dead but, in a strange way, I find it endearing. It's not like I'm not going to ask what the price of the Chateau Briand has risen to.
If they're that old fashioned the Chateaubriand (it's a last name, not somebody's estate) would be made of sirloin (the US kind, not the UK kind). That's about as classy as the practice you describe.
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Sounds like there is sexism going on in some of the responses to this thread. Never in the OP is it mentioned whether the offending server is male, yet several comments refer to a 'waiter' implying that it must have been a male committing these offenses.
I commend the OP for wanting to be even handed but wonder how so many can jump to such a conclusion. They might argue that their use of the term "waiter" is gender neutral but they could have easily said waitstaff instead.
Would the OP clarify the gender of the server(s)? The answer will not necessarily excuse the behavior but the additional information may be useful.
Sounds like there is sexism going on in some of the responses to this thread. Never in the OP is it mentioned whether the offending server is male, yet several comments refer to a 'waiter' implying that it must have been a male committing these offenses.
I commend the OP for wanting to be even handed but wonder how so many can jump to such a conclusion. They might argue that their use of the term "waiter" is gender neutral but they could have easily said waitstaff instead.
Would the OP clarify the gender of the server(s)? The answer will not necessarily excuse the behavior but the additional information may be useful.
This is because our society is conditioned to automatically view men as sexist and women as blameless.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HUB Flyer
Sounds like there is sexism going on in some of the responses to this thread. Never in the OP is it mentioned whether the offending server is male, yet several comments refer to a 'waiter' implying that it must have been a male committing these offenses.
I commend the OP for wanting to be even handed but wonder how so many can jump to such a conclusion. They might argue that their use of the term "waiter" is gender neutral but they could have easily said waitstaff instead.
Would the OP clarify the gender of the server(s)? The answer will not necessarily excuse the behavior but the additional information may be useful.
The waiter was a man.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jennj99738
There is a terrific old-school restaurant here in Las Vegas where the host still gives the men the menus with prices, no prices for the ladies. I had thought this practice was dead but, in a strange way, I find it endearing. It's not like I'm not going to ask what the price of the Chateau Briand has risen to.
Michael's? Got to be--only place in Vegas I know of with 2 separate menus and Chateaubriand on the menu.
I get to eat there next week for the first time since they moved...Woo hoo!
I haven't eaten there since it moved to South Point, but at the Barbary, despite it being a dumpy casino, was the best restaurant in Vegas--for service, portions and food quality. I met quite a few celebrities in there over the years, tagging along with my parents. The place is disgustingly overpriced, but we've always figured 50-75% of the people there were on comps...In that case, why not make it $200/pp? Drop a grand at the tables and make the people think they're getting a $400 dinner for two included.
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Back on topic, I think the waiter should have gotten the hint after the first deferral. I don't know if it was as much sexism as it was stupidity/cluelessness. Personally, I don't know a fine wine from a bottle of ripple. My wife does, and I do the same. We've done restaurants all over the world and I always defer to her, never once has the ordering been directed at me after that...But I'm also explicit about it (for no particular reason), "She'll handle the wine ordering" and say something to the degree of my 'ripple' comment above, or something like that.
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