FinallyFlying

Okay...if this has been discussed before, forgive me. I did try the vaunted search feature, but found nothing.

My husband is 2P but WILL be 1P by the end of the year. Right now, figuring in the trips we have scheduled before year's end, he is less than 5,000 EQM short of 1P. When he suggests we "forget about it", I tell him he's crazy, and I won't let him forget about it. I hang out on this board (too much) and told him he WILL squeeze in that last 4800 EQM.

So we were thinking about ways to get him that last 4800 EQM--figuring we'd do a weekend trip together somewhere before the end of the year, and I pointed out that I didn't need to go, because I am only going to make 2P this year. I told him I have no chance of achieving 1P, so there is really no point spending extra money for me to accompany him.

To which HE replied, "You are definitely coming with me".

When I asked why, he said, "if anything happened to me while I was doing a dumb mileage run, you would never forgive me or yourself".

And, he might be right. I had thought before about how awful it would be if something happened (I can't even say it) to my husband when he was on a plane PURELY to earn miles. I mean, it's not like he had to go somewhere or be somewhere or visit someone. He just wanted EQM. And if something happened, and I sent him off himself, would I be kicking myself maybe forever for pushing him to get 1P?

Anyway, anyone else ever thought that way? How would your love ones feel if something happened to you while you were flying purely for miles?

I know this is a kind of ghoulish thought--but hey...

chuckd

Never thought that way. What if he went walking just to walk an got hit by a car, or opened a window just to do it and the glass broke and sliced up some major arteries?
If something happened to me, I don't think the fact that I was doing it for miles would lessen or augment the tragedy of losing someone as awesome as I am.

KathyWdrf

Of course, there are easier (and potentially cheaper) ways of getting those last few EQM, such as via the credit card (or even possible EQM offers later in the year).

I don't understand the insistence that you be with him on a mileage run. Does he insist that you go with him everywhere he goes? Or that you stay home with him whenever he's at home? Something could happen to him anywhere, including (and especially) at home. Just seems irrational to me.

Exleftseat

Well, here is my suggestion to how you guys should fly to make
up whatever miles he is missing. Let me state very clearly, that I would
do exactly the same thing. Not for fear of a mishap, but of course to enjoy
the time together. But even if he has pessimistic thoughts, regardless,
you should go together. I am not a psychologist, my wife is. Take it for
whatever it's worth. And make the trip like it's the last trip of your life. Tahiti
would be nice, don't be so cheap and do a domestic roundtrip. Him begging
you to come along is worth the splurge!!!

FourWheels

Apply for the MP Plat Visa and get 5k EQM + 25k RDM. No worries, no guilt.

I agree.

FinallyFlying

The sad thing is, he thinks this way because he's been with "worst case scenario" FinallyFlying for many years. That's his nickname for me, and I'm sorry to say it's entirely accurate.

Yeah, anything could happen at any time, and I worry about all of those things too.

But anymore discussion of this will bring up more about my psychology than I care to think about. Suffice to say, it seems I really AM more of a freaky worry wart than most.

We already have a platinum card, and we probably won't be getting another, so the extra 5,000 miles for getting one of those is out.

We'll more than likely just take a trip together for our anniversary....whatever happens, we will not come up 4800 miles short for his 1P! If there is one thing I've learned from this board, that is it.

Hey, I've been living this whole year like it could be my last, and it's been a blast. Only problem is, I'm still here, and now I have to pay the bills. I'm still trying to figure out how to work the "live every day like it's your last" angle and not run us totally into the poor house....

Exleftseat

Sorry, I think I cannot help you with any domestic problems, I am just
here to help the frequent flyer. If you have that many miles you must
not be that close to the poor house. Come on and enjoy life. Most of
us enjoy being onboard airplanes and that's all we can help you with. Good luck with your life.

TrayflowInUK

I guess I can understand his rationale... Mrs. TrayflowinUK is my best friend and I'd rather go just about anywhere WITH her than WITHOUT her.

Now, regarding sending her on mileage runs or going on one myself: it's a lot more pleasurable to know your seatmate than to wonder who you're gonna get wedged in next to you. And I must say I've sent her on more solo flights than I've taken for myself... looks like she'll make Platinum this year and not me.

But this worry about her dying enroute... seems a wee bit irrational. I know it's a tired statistic, but I know my wife is safer in seat 10A than walking to the shops, cooking in the kitchen, driving to work, or even being at work.

FinallyFlying

Okay, just to set the record straight...I got off track a little with observations about my worry wart nature. Yeah, I am one, but that's not really the point here.

It's not that I (or we) were worried that something WOULD happen--I know the statistics. Our thought was, how would I feel IF something happened to my husband on a plane while he was doing a mileage run.

In other words, he didn't NEED to be on the plane and was, primarily because I pushed him to go for those extra 4800 miles (and that was kind of the kicker).

Knowing my nature, he recognized that would not work, and I'd have to go with him so that there was no possibility I'd have to live with everlasting guilt. It's certainly not that he never flies anywhere without me, but somehow it seems different when there is a reason for him to go somewhere. Maybe there really isn't a difference. I don't know...but that's just how I think. And, well, he recognized my way of thinking before I did, so we WILL go together.

jerry crump

Since you guys are so worried about safety send him off on a plane so that he will be safer than if he stays in town and spends all weekend driving around in his car which is much more dangerous.

kennethfine

Do anything long enough, and you'll get some insight. Maybe your opportunity here is to examine a lot more than your feelings about mileage running.

Not to get too crunchy-granola-touchy-feely about it, but something in your background may be prompting you to a) worry past the point that it's healthy, and b) feel guilty about things that aren't "necessary" or "essential."

Humans were engineered by evolution or God or something to enjoy their lives: physically, intellectually, experientially. Riding around on planes is fun to some. Getting 1P or 2P or EXP is financially rewarding and psychically satisfying and is as valid as any of a million other trivial-but-enjoyable things we fill our lives with.

Your perception is that mileage running is trivially important and that flying carries a small catastrophic risk: to lose your soulmate over such a trifle would be unbearable. I think you'll be happier if you can recognize that anything vaguely fun or experiential in life carries small and large risks, and if the ones we love "kick it" while enagaged in life, that's to be celebrated. You can die having sex, or driving to your kid's wedding, or getting beaned in the head at a little-league baseball game. We don't opt out of life, and we shouldn't regret the pursuit of good stuff if it leads unfortunately to bad outcomes.

We're all guaranteed to die one way or another: some of us quietly, many of us quite uncomfortably. That's beyond your control right now. Seek happiness and do good between the start and the end.

And now, to return to my Costco-sized bag of fortune cookies to seek more wit and wisdom.

-KF

itsme

Yours is the second post in this thread to hold that "riding around on planes is fun," at least to some. I wonder how many really find flying fun, especially when they are not flying in true first class. I personally don't see flying as fun, especially with the airport experience thrown in, and I fly only for the purpose of getting from one place to another as comfortably, quickly, and economically as possible. MRs for me are a matter of a return on investment of time and money and a crazy gaming endeavor.

kennethfine

I'm not sure I'd embrace this with the enthusiasm I have if I didn't find flying fun (I'm on track for EXP in early December.)

I've only ridden FC a couple of times, and I'm almost 6'4", but yeah, I figured out during my first true MRs to BOS that I enjoy this stuff for its own sake.

Maybe it's all the stuff I see. I always ask to be seated next to the window. July 4, 2005 I was taking off from SEA around 10PM, just as all the fireworks were starting up. You could see displays of fireworks popping off all the way to the horizon. Amazing.

My very first MR got massively screwed up, so I ended up routing SEA-STL-LGA-BOS. The last leg was on a little commuter jet that flew right over the northern tip of Manhattan, and could look way, way down and see all of the major avenues I've walked up and down so many times etched in light.

Maybe I like seeing all the big toys at work. You take the new airtrain at DFW, and whoosh past a billion bucks worth of jets from Terminal A to Terminal B. That's pretty cool.

I make web applications and programs computers for a living. Before that I was a writer and an artist. I value concentration. There are few finer places in the world to concentrate totally on one thing than in the belly of a plane.

Maybe I like the thrill of the unexpected. My favorite restaurant in the world is "Le Crocodile" near Burrard and Hornby in Vancouver B.C. It's "west coast French" and fairly expensive. But there's an appeal about being forced to go in the opposite direction, being pushed way out of your comfort zone. Ghetto is getting stuck in STL or Logan overnight, chowing on Duncan donuts because it's the only place open in the middle of the night. Curl up on the floor for some shut-eye. Yeah. Lying on Logan's lovely blue carpets, you know you're alive.

Mileage running makes strict economic sense if you love flying first class and would be inclined to pay for it. FC honestly isn't that important to me -- I have other rationalizations. The benefits of MR-ing lie in how it subsidizes my ability to experience stuff, a justification to see the world and know places well. The fun of riding on the plane is a fringe benefit.

-KF

FinallyFlying

Wow. Thanks for the post. Yeah, you get how I feel about it....

Not sure what I hoped to gain by my post, but the MR thing was on my mind, and so I threw it out as food for thought.

You have ended up giving me more food for thought. Though, I gotta add, much of the potential for guilt comes from the fact that it isn't so important to my husband to achieve 1P, and I am the one pushing for him to cross the 1P (United Premier Executive) finish line. (I mean, how can he NOT when he's so close??) So, it's not like it was his idea to do the MR...

But, I really do appreciate your wisdom and think I might go buy one of those bags of cookies. It sounds like it has given you really great insight into life.

Have a great day.

TrayflowInUK

Be careful! In an air crash, the odds are stacked in your favour that you'll survive, but also very significant that you'll die or be disabled.

So, saying there's no possibility you'll have to live with everlasting guilt... well, odds are significant that you will.

So going with your husband on his MR doesn't fix your situation; IMHO you either need to come to terms with your fears or forget the MR.

More food for thought... in the scheme of things, life and death, what's the difference if a loved one dies on a mileage run or on a business trip? Compared to love and life and smelling the roses on this fair orb, either is trivial. I'd have an equally tough time dealing with a loved one dying in a work-related accident or on a mileage run or on a fairground ride. But I suppose everybody's different!