bocastephen

The issue isn't 'fat gay men whining' - the issue is how gay men of a certain appearance treat those of a different appearance - and it's not just weight - it's race, religion, and other factors. There are plenty of heavy set men who only want other heavy set men and are just as abusive or mean towards lighter or fit men who are interested in them - so it rubs both ways.

When a friendly smile with a "sorry, but I don't think we match up well" comment is replaced with sneers, snarky remarks or outright abuse, there is a problem that needs to be addressed.

Adam1222

How is this a LGBT problem? Straight men and straight women all turn down people with grace and kindness? Grow some skin. Yes, rejection hurts. But its not unique to fat/black/yada yada. The only way to avoid rejection is to stay home. As someone else said before, this all boils down to self-confidence. The only way it gets better is if you stop self-pity and wallowing, and realize that the people who aren't nice to you are missing out. It DOES get better if you're fat, if you are willing to try.

If your complaint is that people need to be nicer to everyone when they are rejecting them, then this obviously has no relation whatsoever to Flyertalk.

bocastephen

Straight men and women aren't running around demanding equality. The gay community is demanding something they are not necessarily entitled to as it's not safe to throw stones in a glass house. When I see more tolerance in the gay community towards its own members, I will take its pleas for equality in the broader community more seriously. Body size is just a small piece of the spoiled pie - racism is a deeper issue that is rarely addressed except by the people who are affected by it - how can a group that fails to even promote racial equality have any right to demand equality within a large group?

I thought you were going to unsubscribe?

Adam1222

That was your suggestion, not mine. I am staying to correct dangerous, ignorant comments.
I am glad to hear your lecture on racism. I'd invite you to any of the appropriate places to discuss it (which I do every day, just not on Flyertalk). I assure you you are breaking no new ground on the issue of racism in the LGBT community, and would be happy to provide you with a list of sources to better educate you.

Your suggestion that formal/institutional equality (i.e., same-sex marriage) cannot be sought without absolute equality/eliminating intimate partner discrimination is a straw man.

CMK10

As the OP I really wish I had never bothered to post this f-ing article

Foady

Nobody forces anyone to play by a set of imaginary "gay" rules. If you don't like the rules or the game, go make up your own. Create an app or open a bar/club for bears, chubs, cubs, otters, Asians, Whites, Gingers, short, tall, left-handed, right-handed, cut, uncut... [fill in your own demographic want here]... and their lovers. Do something more useful than rant on a bulletin board, including exercising (it releases endorphins, which is known to make people happy) if you want. Or not.

By the way, have you been to SF? Gays of all kinds live together, play together, shop together, ..... together, eat together, drink together, walk their dogs together, and pick up dog poo together.

At the end of the day, love yourself. If you don't like your own self, nobody's going to like you either. Gay or straight.

End rant.

Vuelos

Preach mama!!

I'll say this, FTers are, for the most part, pretty inviting... amazing to see some personalities come out on here that are very different than the IRL ones (except mine, which is totally the same).

itsaboutthejourney

xoxo - love you and your post long time! ^^

ORDnHKG

I don't know how tall you are and exactly how much you weigh. However, bigger people looks good in their own way, and certainly many admirers out there. Most of the times guys say they are overweight, they are unhealthy, to me it is just beefy (rarely I meet guys that I would consider overweight) and nothing out of the ordinary not unless you drink a whole case of soda on a daily basis, or nothing in your fridge but soda, now that is unhealthy.

There are many things that would consider unhealthy not just weight, in the gay community, it seems like people are ok with drinking and doing drugs, but not ok with smoking. If you have a fit or slim body, but you drink and do drugs, would that consider be healthy then ? Seems like the gay community would approve even they only do it "occasionally" or they look healthy because their body look "fit".

Oh btw, if I can I do want to gain 20 pounds, that would be my ideal weight ! I had tried many high fat diets but doesn't work on my body at all.

Tide_from_PAE

As someone who lived in Alabama for a few years, albeit at one of the more "liberal" universities, I'm familiar with a lot of the things you're seeing in North Carolina. If you haven't done so already, join the organization of LGBT faculty and grad students if such an organization exists on your campus.

Remember that a lot of guys come out during college or grad school, some of whom may be really interested in you.

Of course, you can always book vacation runs to some of the many gay vacation destinations.

Crazyhotelguy

Well hello there...How you doin? ::

CMK10

I am a member of OUTLAW the GLBT law school community. Only about a dozen of us but the faculty adviser is my Civ Pro professor (bonus!)

Crazyhotelguy

Having just lost 40 lbs myself, I can say that there is bias against heavier people from both sides gay/straight.. However, experience is that as a bigger person, I lacked self confidence. I assumed people had a bias, and while many did, I was still ny worst enemy. Much of this for me is rooted in how I was trewted by other kids growibg up.

It is acceptable for gays/straights to have preference in dating. Some people do bot get that you are not attracted to them for whatever reason. I do draw the line at snarky, self-serving comments though. These serve no purpose, but to degrade an individual.

If a guy with a few extra pounds feels comfortable taking his shirt off at a circuit party, more power to him...

Now where I feel really distant from my gay friends is in political aftiliation/religious views. Many gays feel these topics are one size fits all, and you are banished if you dare to have views that go against the norm. Openmindedness seens to fall short in this area...

rjque

That's where we differ. What gay people are demanding is no different than what straight people already have - equal protection under the law. And, at least in this country, we get those Constitutional protections regardless of the existence of some racists who share the same-sex attraction characteristic.

MegatopLover

You've got PM.