It Gets Better, Unless You're Fat
#16
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: SEA
Programs: HH Silver
Posts: 2,400
And I agree. Travel is the theme of this forum, and this thread has nothing to do with travel, although I do think it has merits in other places.
#19
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: San Antonio - the nicest city in northern Mexico
Programs: CO OnePass; AAdvantage Dirt; IHG Priority Club Plat; Hyatt Plat; Marriott Gold; Avis PresPref;
Posts: 884
#20
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Portland
Posts: 11,569
I strongly disagree with that. I am responsible for my own actions, and racists are responsible for their own actions. The fact that I am gay does not impose any higher level of responsibility on me - I am still responsible for my own actions and nobody else's.
#21
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: SEA, PAE, BLI
Programs: WN A-List Preferred, AS, DL Kryptonium
Posts: 1,603
There are places, some with a predominately LGBT clientele, many not, where an overweight person may feel uncomfortable. There are also places where a non-overweight person may feel uncomfortable. The issue raised in the article is that there are places attracting primarily LGBT patrons where an overweight LGBT individual may feel excluded. People can debate all day on if the author's weight is the primary reason he feels unwelcome at certain establishments. FTers could probably list many places where overweight LGBT individuals would feel welcome and others where they might not feel as welcome.
People do have preferences when it comes to finding a mate, be it for a short or long term relationship. Businesses are held to a higher standard except in some very specific circumstances, some of which remain controversial.
Concerning needing to promote acceptance within before having acceptance from the outside world, that's something often suggested for individuals and some groups, but is rarely practiced by those suggesting it. Oftentimes, even partial acceptance from outside entities can be helpful for those struggling to accept themselves. Many LGBT people come out in college rather than high school because the atmosphere is more accepting. The author of the article did relieve some stress by coming out. Sure he still has some stress, but the overall burden is less.
My local paper recently published an article about a local state representative who is 6'3" tall and went from 350+ pounds to 202 pounds over a couple of years. This state representative is also openly gay and is well respected in the community. He explained that one of his main reasons for losing weight was that he felt that his weight would seen as a negative much like it has been for New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. While he's always been on the bigger side, the stresses of the past few years caused him to gain weight to the point where it was becoming a major personal issue for him, much like it appears to be for the author of the author of the posted article. While he still likely wouldn't be chosen to be a designer underwear model or let into certain clubs, he's much more happy with himself and ready to take on the world. Some people might feel the same way at 300 pounds, some 150, but what is important is that the person feels comfortable with themselves and has a fair chance at achieving realistic goals.
People do have preferences when it comes to finding a mate, be it for a short or long term relationship. Businesses are held to a higher standard except in some very specific circumstances, some of which remain controversial.
Concerning needing to promote acceptance within before having acceptance from the outside world, that's something often suggested for individuals and some groups, but is rarely practiced by those suggesting it. Oftentimes, even partial acceptance from outside entities can be helpful for those struggling to accept themselves. Many LGBT people come out in college rather than high school because the atmosphere is more accepting. The author of the article did relieve some stress by coming out. Sure he still has some stress, but the overall burden is less.
My local paper recently published an article about a local state representative who is 6'3" tall and went from 350+ pounds to 202 pounds over a couple of years. This state representative is also openly gay and is well respected in the community. He explained that one of his main reasons for losing weight was that he felt that his weight would seen as a negative much like it has been for New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. While he's always been on the bigger side, the stresses of the past few years caused him to gain weight to the point where it was becoming a major personal issue for him, much like it appears to be for the author of the author of the posted article. While he still likely wouldn't be chosen to be a designer underwear model or let into certain clubs, he's much more happy with himself and ready to take on the world. Some people might feel the same way at 300 pounds, some 150, but what is important is that the person feels comfortable with themselves and has a fair chance at achieving realistic goals.
#22
Moderator: GLBT Travelers & Hyatt Gold Passport
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: CVG
Posts: 15,300
Please discuss the subject but no personal attacks allowed.
Thank you!!
Peteropny - co-mod - GLBT
#23
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Washington, DC
Programs: DL PM; IHG PlatAmb; Hilton Dia; Marriott Plat; Hyatt Discoverist
Posts: 7,273
#24
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: LAX-- But I'd rather be on Brokeback Mountain. United 1K! Other
Programs: RCC,HHonors Diamond,HGVC Elite,SPG Plat,Hyatt Diamond,Nat'l Emerald Exec Elite, Disney Premier Pass
Posts: 2,472
I must take issue with this. I'm Asian, and I have a huge penis.
#25
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: LAX/TPE
Programs: United 1K, JAL Sapphire, SPG Lifetime Platinum, National Executive Elite, Hertz PC, Avis PC
Posts: 42,008
It's an interesting topic for discussion and a little more refreshing than the usual "where can I meet guys in XXXX", "where is the best bar to get xxxxx" or "Gayla 2013 - Lincoln Nebraska!"
...and it's a real issue that should be brought front and center and addressed by the community at large.
#26
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Likely being followed...
Programs: DYKWIA Extraordinaire. TrollSlayer Mega Diamond. [insert esoteric sounding status level(s) here]
Posts: 5,240
That post is so not family friendly!!!
That would allow some people a detailed excuse to how to tell you to go .... yourself and be within the bounds of allowable, on topic, discourse.
#27
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Washington, DC
Programs: DL PM; IHG PlatAmb; Hilton Dia; Marriott Plat; Hyatt Discoverist
Posts: 7,273
It's an interesting topic for discussion and a little more refreshing than the usual "where can I meet guys in XXXX", "where is the best bar to get xxxxx" or "Gayla 2013 - Lincoln Nebraska!"
...and it's a real issue that should be brought front and center and addressed by the community at large.
...and it's a real issue that should be brought front and center and addressed by the community at large.
If you want to make a change, posting on Flyertalk isn't going to do it. Get off your duff (and/or airplane), perhaps to the gym, or a social venue, and make friends. There are plenty of fat gays who aren't miserable, whining, and making excuses blaming other people for their social ineptitude.
#28
In Memoriam, FlyerTalk Evangelist
Original Poster
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Durham, NC (RDU/GSO/CLT)
Programs: AA EXP/MM, DL GM, UA Platinum, HH DIA, Hyatt Explorist, IHG Platinum, Marriott Titanium, Hertz PC
Posts: 33,857
The problem is those topics are relevant to Flyertalk, and this isn't. This isn't the "community at large." It's not a novel topic, fat gay men whine all the time and have been for decades.
If you want to make a change, posting on Flyertalk isn't going to do it. Get off your duff (and/or airplane), perhaps to the gym, or a social venue, and make friends. There are plenty of fat gays who aren't miserable, whining, and making excuses blaming other people for their social ineptitude.
If you want to make a change, posting on Flyertalk isn't going to do it. Get off your duff (and/or airplane), perhaps to the gym, or a social venue, and make friends. There are plenty of fat gays who aren't miserable, whining, and making excuses blaming other people for their social ineptitude.
#29
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: check swarm
Programs: DL DM & 2MM, SPG/Bonvoid LT Titanium, Hyatt Globalist, $tarbucks Titanium
Posts: 14,393
It seems like you have more a personal self-confidence issue than anything.
For you that you can shed some weight, howabout being asian who doesn't have a big penis, that has no way to increase my size, not to mention plenty of sizequeens out there, with your logic what can I do about it then ?
For you that you can shed some weight, howabout being asian who doesn't have a big penis, that has no way to increase my size, not to mention plenty of sizequeens out there, with your logic what can I do about it then ?
#30
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Washington, DC
Programs: DL PM; IHG PlatAmb; Hilton Dia; Marriott Plat; Hyatt Discoverist
Posts: 7,273
I'm pretty sure you're exactly the type of person the article was talking about. Maybe I'm wrong but for me the miles and points aspect of Flyetralk is secondary to the spirit of community. I live in North Carolina among people who have Facebook names like First name GodFirst Last Name and who argue about how gay people cannot be preachers because they are going to Hell and don't live the entire bible. It's nice to be able to come here and discuss such issues with open minded people of a similar background to me.
There are plenty of Jesus-lovers on this website. And plenty of people who live in the South who don't blame everyone else for their problems. And you live in DURHAM for Christ's sake. Not some backwoods cabin where you have no one to talk to.
I don't know what you are referring to as "open minded people of a similar background" to you. Do you mean fat gay people? Fat gay people who like whining? Fat gay people who like points? If so, most of those communities have other places on the web.