Eastbay1K

This.

If a server says "X is very popular," I'll then ask "but do you like it?"

It is also telling if a server pushes the most expensive this and that, whether it be a menu item or a wine. I recently had a waiter down-sell me on a bottle of wine by about $50. Based upon our conversation, and his previous taste of the wine, he thought it wouldn't be what I was looking for (i.e., not the style one would anticipate from the particular selection). That was a great waiter, and I took his suggestions for pretty much everything.

zitsky

I listen to recommendations unless I think I'm getting an upsell. Just recently in a restaurant I go to often, I asked the server if they were getting a lot of orders for a chicken dish I was thinking about. She gave me a funny look and said "not many". I ordered it anyway, the chicken came out dry and I switched to the sushi special. I gave some feedback to the manager and they were very nice about it all.

iluv2fly

Danger Will Robinson

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iluv2fly
Moderator, DiningBuzz

GatoAndaluz

As someone who worked in restaurants and bars for a decade, NO. Unless your server is very familiar with your tastes and knows you as an individual, do not depend on his or her recommendation. If the kitchen wants to push an item for whatever reason (too much was delivered, it's going bad, test-driving a new preparation, restaurant is overbooked and the recommendation is easy to prep), the restaurant will often run a contest for servers. Whoever sells the most of it goes home with a bottle of wine (or free dinner, or bottle of scotch, or whatever).

GadgetFreak

If obviously depends on the restaurant and the server a lot. I often ask for suggestions but I almost always give them two or three to choose among rather than the entire menu.

We had dinner tonight at a very good Japanese restaurant at which we are regulars. Excellent fish. We each ordered an appetizer. The manager and sushi chefs picked everything else, all sashimi, based on what they had available today. Back when Honmura An was in New York we were regulars, and even now when I have visited them in Tokyo I typically would pick at most one small dish, tell them which type soba to finish with and ask the owner to pick the rest of the meal. It obviously helps for them to know you when you give them that kind of latitude.

GatoAndaluz

Sushi places are different - there you are communicating directly with the people preparing your food. Ownership typically limits this kind of interaction to employees that are trusted, which explains why bartenders are higher on the totem pole than servers.

GadgetFreak

One of the places isn't sushi, but your point is well taken. Actually in both of those cases we communicate directly with the owner.

PsiFighter37

I will sometimes ask for suggestions if I've narrowed it down to a couple choices, but I will only take their advice if it seems like they actually know what they are talking about. Even at upscale restaurants, I'm often surprised at how little the staff knows about what is being served and how it tastes...and it doesn't come off as them being polite (e.g. not wanting to say anything bad).

darthbimmer

When I'm looking for a very broad suggestion I'll usually ask about the house specialty. For example, "Which one or two dishes is your chef is especially proud of?"

Often, despite my best efforts, the server answers with, "Our most popular dishes are...." That's not the same thing.

airsupply

I may sometimes ask opinion between 2-3 different dishes, usually in smaller restaurant with limited menu. In a restaurant with 5 page menu I wouldn't bother as the answer would probably be : xxx is really popular.

rxgeek

A pet peeve of mine, too. I've asked servers if they are joining me for dinner. I may try the other member's suggestion to ask what NOT to order. If they can't think of anything, I will provide my own list from my previous visits. It might not be nice but the server started it. On second thought, I shouldn't piss them off since who knows what will happen to my order before I get it.

rxgeek

Ditto. Used to eat there before I visited Australia. Never ate there since.

Ebes1099

I think there's a huge difference depending on what restaurant you're at. Clearly, if you're in a restaurant staffed by college kids, I'd probably take their suggestions with a grain of salt.

If you're at a fancy place I'd be more inclined to listen to the server and discuss options. Obviously I'm not going to blindly follow the recommendation thinking the server knows what my tastes are, but you can ask questions to get an idea if you may like the dish.

MaxBuck

Although it's somewhat embarrassing to admit, I love being told that.

Validation from complete strangers in positions of service - it makes my day. A very cheap thrill, at least I can say that.

KevinS

I'll second this, while also contradicting, which may be confusing.

I worked as waitstaff in medium-end dining while in college, and completely echo the posts, which seem to be from people in the industry, that serves are incented to sell certain dishes, whether overstock or high margin, and the prize can be substantial. So I would take a cautious view of this tactic at restaurants of that ilk.

I have not seen quite the same at higher end restos, and I replied to comment primarily because the OP does something almost exactly like the script I use (which people that work with/for me have heard over too many business dinners) which is asking to talk to the FOH (front of house) Manager on duty, introducing myself, indicate I'm either on a business dinner or eating there to evaluate for a high end business dinner in the immediate future, and ask "if I've never eaten here before, and my coming back depends on this meal, what are you/your chef particularly proud of on the menu that you think your customers enjoy most frequently".

At a nice place, I'm willing to gamble that steering me to an entree a few dollars more isn't really going to impact as much as having a business person direct traffic & revenue there, and that 'eyes light up' the OP refers to, is the indication of whether the place is the right fit for that. Is much like going to a good sushi place, sitting at the bar, and asking a few questions, and if the place seems legit, just tell the chef to feed me omekaze and place myself in their hands. Most people *want* to do a good job and be appreciated, and giving someone who often doesn't have it the opportunity to be creative and express themselves, whether chef or server, has almost always resulted in great memorable meals, both from the food and the conversations throughout the meal.