Restaurants with the "party of one"
#106
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Oslo
Programs: World of Hyatt, SAS Eurobonus
Posts: 139
My leisure travel is mainly alone. I've eaten a lot alone, and usually it doesn't bother me. I have never experienced that the restaurant staff somehow feels akward dealing with me dining alone. I normaly just ask for "table for one". I'm fine eating at the bar and sometimes prefer it.
I usually bring a book to read in. Either a novel or the guide book for the city I'm visiting. Then I can use the dinner to plan for what to see/to do the next day and look at maps to plan the best route/order to visit the places I want to see.
I usually bring a book to read in. Either a novel or the guide book for the city I'm visiting. Then I can use the dinner to plan for what to see/to do the next day and look at maps to plan the best route/order to visit the places I want to see.
#108
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Northern California
Programs: UA Premier Gold, 1.5 Million Mile Flyer
Posts: 3,544
#109
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 4,725
IMO, people's self-esteem and insecurities about eating alone is the greatest factor. For example, a coworker feels everyone is looking at her a thinking she is a loser if she would dine alone. She thinks she's a loser too. The result is she refuses to dine alone unless there is no viable alternative. She won't even get take-out if she has to walk into a public place to get it. To avoid her emotional issues in these situations, she will get room-service, pick up drive-through crap, or grab something up at grocery store and literally hide in her room where nobody can see her eating alone. It's truly sad.
I just can't imagine why some people's self-esteem is so low that they will hide in their room and eat crap rather than be seen dining alone. I see this occasionally at restaurants when people respond to the "party of one" question by cowering and meekly saying "It's just me."
I just can't imagine why some people's self-esteem is so low that they will hide in their room and eat crap rather than be seen dining alone. I see this occasionally at restaurants when people respond to the "party of one" question by cowering and meekly saying "It's just me."
I, on the other hand, grew up with a dad who said "Your money is as good as anybody else's; if you don't get good service, speak up!"
FWIW I have maybe twice in my life encountered attitude for being a "party of one" and I chose not to let their attitude problem become my problem.
#110
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Sometimes in Chicago.
Posts: 128
I commented earlier in this thread that it's annoying when you tell the host/server you need a table for one and they reply "just one"?
So, I just returned to my hotel (Cape Town) with some food I picked up and went to the bar to order a bottle of wine to take to my room (which I'll also consume tomorrow night as well). BTW, I'm not eating in my room because I mind eating at the restaurant alone, I'm eating in my room because I look/feel gross from walking around all day in the sun and wind.
The bartender asks me how many glasses. His response?: "Just one glass?" Then as I'm walking out another restaurant employee also comments "Just one glass?"
So you can't win. Back to my sauvignon blanc now...
So, I just returned to my hotel (Cape Town) with some food I picked up and went to the bar to order a bottle of wine to take to my room (which I'll also consume tomorrow night as well). BTW, I'm not eating in my room because I mind eating at the restaurant alone, I'm eating in my room because I look/feel gross from walking around all day in the sun and wind.
The bartender asks me how many glasses. His response?: "Just one glass?" Then as I'm walking out another restaurant employee also comments "Just one glass?"
So you can't win. Back to my sauvignon blanc now...
#111
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: ORD
Programs: AA
Posts: 1,754
I agree with CDTraveler that entering a restaurant or bar alone is different for a woman than for a man. It has been that way all my life, and it doesn't seem to me to be any more than marginally less so now than it was ten or twenty years ago.
Bars that don't serve food are perhaps the most awkward places for a woman alone; taking a seat at a bar at a bar/restaurant is less awkward; asking for a table at a restaurant without a bar is the least awkward of the three. It helps if you dress and behave as if you're a business traveler (even if you're not). It helps to have a magazine or book (or these days, smartphone) to browse to avoid looking around and noticing that someone is staring at you.
I don't think it's an issue for women only; I know some men who say they don't like dining out alone, for whatever reasons. I'm just saying that for a variety of reasons of which men might not be aware, popping into a restaurant or especially a bar is often not as carefree and comfortable an experience for a woman who's alone than for a man who's alone.
Bars that don't serve food are perhaps the most awkward places for a woman alone; taking a seat at a bar at a bar/restaurant is less awkward; asking for a table at a restaurant without a bar is the least awkward of the three. It helps if you dress and behave as if you're a business traveler (even if you're not). It helps to have a magazine or book (or these days, smartphone) to browse to avoid looking around and noticing that someone is staring at you.
I don't think it's an issue for women only; I know some men who say they don't like dining out alone, for whatever reasons. I'm just saying that for a variety of reasons of which men might not be aware, popping into a restaurant or especially a bar is often not as carefree and comfortable an experience for a woman who's alone than for a man who's alone.
#112
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: YEG
Programs: Aeroplan, Westjet Rewards
Posts: 322
The bar seemed to be very social - singles, groups of two, even a group of three. The two guys in suits sitting next to me even turned around and toasted me when I received my drink.
The happy hour specials included drinks and fresh oysters. Seeing as I was front and center to the bartender and oyster shucker I had great service. This was a higher end place that formed part of a local restaurant group located in a busy shopping/business district.
#113
In Memoriam, FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Durham, NC (RDU/GSO/CLT)
Programs: AA EXP/MM, DL GM, UA Platinum, HH DIA, Hyatt Explorist, IHG Platinum, Marriott Titanium, Hertz PC
Posts: 33,857
For the first time in recent memory, dining alone actually caused an issue tonight. I found a place in Montreal I wanted to try and I waited about 10 minutes for a table. I got up to the front of the line and two parties of two were taken before me. The hostess apologize but stated they couldn't have a table with more than two empty chairs so I had to wait for a two-top to open up before I got sat. No big deal as it cost me maybe 5 minutes.
#114
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: YVR
Programs: AA
Posts: 866
I'm constantly around and interacting with people. I love going for a meal alone or going to the movies alone when the need strikes. Yes, i get that i am still around people but i feel no need to interact with them other than to order
#115
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Northern California
Programs: UA Premier Gold, 1.5 Million Mile Flyer
Posts: 3,544
For the first time in recent memory, dining alone actually caused an issue tonight. I found a place in Montreal I wanted to try and I waited about 10 minutes for a table. I got up to the front of the line and two parties of two were taken before me. The hostess apologize but stated they couldn't have a table with more than two empty chairs so I had to wait for a two-top to open up before I got sat. No big deal as it cost me maybe 5 minutes.
#116
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 26,278
This thread leaves me scratching my head a bit. I eat alone in restaurants very frequently, and I don't recall ever having an uncomfortable experience in doing so. Often I eat at the bar, but by no means always. Service has never been an issue in the least. I must be lucky!
#117
Join Date: Nov 2011
Programs: UA 1p
Posts: 104
I eat out alone both when traveling and locally. I am a relatively short woman (5'2") and find eating at the bar physically uncomfortable. I have never given eating alone a second thought and have been surprised when female colleagues tell me they order room service because they can't face eating out alone. I have had a few waitstaff in Asia push a newspaper or magazine - I actually prefer not to read while waiting for my meal. I asked a waiter in Cambodia why he was so insistent. He replied it would let everyone know I was not there looking for customers. I was 49 at the time! A restaurant host in my US home city said "Just one? That is so sad." I responded I wasn't at all sad about it and thought it was far better to dine alone than with bad company. He seemed quite surprised that I didn't agree with him.
#118
Suspended
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,833
I would have told him where to go in two words and walked out.
#119
Original Poster
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 7,875
My recent experiences:
One place the waitress presumed I wanted to sit at the bar (the place looked pretty full, but after when two guests came in together and she directed them to the bar and they asked if they couldn't sit elsewhere she sat there is plenty of space and led them in). Admittedly she was on the phone so couldn't really talk much other than motion with hands.
Another place there was no bar, so I sat at a table for 4 all by myself. I was wondering if the waiter was going to try to move me because a party of three came in after with nowhere to sit. But no, I guess in America they don't move you just because you don't take up all the seats.
One place the waitress presumed I wanted to sit at the bar (the place looked pretty full, but after when two guests came in together and she directed them to the bar and they asked if they couldn't sit elsewhere she sat there is plenty of space and led them in). Admittedly she was on the phone so couldn't really talk much other than motion with hands.
Another place there was no bar, so I sat at a table for 4 all by myself. I was wondering if the waiter was going to try to move me because a party of three came in after with nowhere to sit. But no, I guess in America they don't move you just because you don't take up all the seats.
#120
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Beacon Falls, CT, USA
Posts: 1,609
When I've eaten alone (and I have many times in my life. Usually lunch from work, but also traveling and when I wasn't married), I haven't been bothered too much about the 'Are you eating alone?' and the horrified look of pity for the single middle-aged female who is all alone in the world. Since I AM married, I brush it off and smile. I always have a project with me, usually a book or a notebook.
I don't care for the bar option, as high chairs hurt my back and legs. I've left restaurants where the only options available are the high chairs.
I don't care for the bar option, as high chairs hurt my back and legs. I've left restaurants where the only options available are the high chairs.