Funny Flight Attendants
Sep 15, 2014, 7:22 pm
#16
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: ATL
Programs: Delta DM/1.3MM, Marriott PP/LTP, Natl EE, Etihad Guest, FT FNG
Posts: 662
From a SW FA: please check around you to make sure that you have all of your belongings including children and spouses, you won't want them we don't either.
Sep 15, 2014, 7:22 pm
#17
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Hoschton, GA
Programs: Delta DM, SP Plat, Hilton Gold
Posts: 432
Funny Flight Attendants
"This is the final leg for this airplane tonight, and it will be receiving a thorough cleaning once we deplane. If you'd like to volunteer to help clean the plane, let us know by standing up before the plane comes to the gate and we turn off the seatbelt light."
Also, from pilot:
"Folks , the IFE tonight will be a real treat. I've loaded all of the pictures from my family's recent trip to the the Grand Canyon on it, and you can watch all ### pictures as we fly to Orange County tonight...."
Also, from pilot:
"Folks , the IFE tonight will be a real treat. I've loaded all of the pictures from my family's recent trip to the the Grand Canyon on it, and you can watch all ### pictures as we fly to Orange County tonight...."
Sep 15, 2014, 8:23 pm
#18
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: US-Europe
Programs: DL DM Charter/2.5MM, AA EXP, Marriott AMB, LT Titanium, HH Diamond, Avis PP, National Exec-E
Posts: 529
This was years ago prior to a TATL. During the preflight safety demo the FA said "... in the unlikely event that this flight becomes a cruise." It still comes to my mind on every TATL.
Sep 15, 2014, 9:02 pm
#20
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: LAS HNL
Programs: DL DM, 5.7 MM, UA 3.1 MM, MARRIOTT PLATINUM, AVIS FIRST, Amex Black Card
Posts: 4,479
Sep 16, 2014, 12:13 am
#22
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Marriott or Hilton hot tub with a big drink <glub> Beverage: To-Go Bag™ DYKWIA: SSSS /rolleyes ☈ Date Night: Costco
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Sep 16, 2014, 12:51 am
#23
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Orlando, FL
Programs: Delta GM/1.5MM ~ United Silver ~ Marriott Lifetime Titanium
Posts: 1,434
Not an FA line - but from the pilot.
"I apologize for the hard landing folks, but just as I was about put us down a family of rabbits ran onto the runway and I did my best to avoid them."
Applause from the passengers. Pilot gets back on the com "And for those of you who were on my last segment, I landed pretty hard on that one because of the moose who popped up onto the runway ... yeah, it was a moose."
"I apologize for the hard landing folks, but just as I was about put us down a family of rabbits ran onto the runway and I did my best to avoid them."
Applause from the passengers. Pilot gets back on the com "And for those of you who were on my last segment, I landed pretty hard on that one because of the moose who popped up onto the runway ... yeah, it was a moose."
Sep 16, 2014, 7:08 am
#24
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Austin, TX
Programs: DL DM; DL AMEX Reserve; HHonors Gold
Posts: 1,984
From a GA, not an FA, but...
Returning from a job interview in 1995 LAX-RDU on one of those awesome L-1011s. Engine failure just before takeoff, screeched to a halt - have to go back to the gate to re-book all 250 of us. Angry, unpleasant passenger talking to - screaming at - the gate agent right in front of me. I got up there, as cooperative and pleasant as I could be, empathizing with her about the gentleman in front of me. Without missing a beat she says "Mr. Johnson will be on the first flight to RDU tomorrow morning. His luggage is on its way to ANC."
Returning from a job interview in 1995 LAX-RDU on one of those awesome L-1011s. Engine failure just before takeoff, screeched to a halt - have to go back to the gate to re-book all 250 of us. Angry, unpleasant passenger talking to - screaming at - the gate agent right in front of me. I got up there, as cooperative and pleasant as I could be, empathizing with her about the gentleman in front of me. Without missing a beat she says "Mr. Johnson will be on the first flight to RDU tomorrow morning. His luggage is on its way to ANC."
Sep 16, 2014, 7:34 am
#25
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Santo Domingo, Dom. Rep. / Washington, DC
Programs: AA PPro/DL PLT, PPass, Marriott / Hilton Gold, JetBlue Mosaic, Hertz Presidents Circle, Amex Plat
Posts: 4,629
From a SLC GA:
We are going to begin boarding shortly. Boarding will be done by zone and I will be checking every boarding pass. If you try to board earlier, we will put you in a timeout zone (points to an enclosed area between the podium and some seats) and you will be able to board only after you apologize.
We are going to begin boarding shortly. Boarding will be done by zone and I will be checking every boarding pass. If you try to board earlier, we will put you in a timeout zone (points to an enclosed area between the podium and some seats) and you will be able to board only after you apologize.
Sep 16, 2014, 8:33 am
#27
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Minneapolis: DL DM charter 2.3MM
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On a CRJ-900 an outgoing and enthusiastic female FA was explaining dinner options and taking orders by kneeling in the aisle by each seat so as to be on the same level as the seated passengers, somewhat similar to what some cocktail waitresses, especially in Asia, tend to do. Someone commented and she remarked that her husband really liked to see her on her knees too, at which point I said, without thinking, "I can't believe you just said that." She was very embarrassed and seemed much more quiet and less talkative for the remainder of the flight.
Sep 16, 2014, 9:26 am
#28
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NYC
Programs: Delta DM, 2MM
Posts: 1,254
I flew CVG-LGA in F a few years ago. I remember a tall male flight attendant who was subtle with his humor. After landing in LGA, I remember his taxi in announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of Captain Crunch, welcome to New York's Laguardia airport...." And he finished with, "And one final reminder, ladies and gentlemen, please be sure to tell your cats about catnip because if you don't, who will?"
"Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of Captain Crunch, welcome to New York's Laguardia airport...." And he finished with, "And one final reminder, ladies and gentlemen, please be sure to tell your cats about catnip because if you don't, who will?"
Sep 16, 2014, 9:47 am
#29
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Atlanta, GA
Programs: DL 1MM Diamond, UA Silver, AA Gold, Marriott Titanium, IHG Spire, Hyatt Globalist
Posts: 594
Similarly, on Southwest, I heard "Please check around you to ensure you have all of your personal belongings. If you find that you've forgotten anything, just check eBay in 2 or 3 days."
Sep 16, 2014, 10:31 am
#30
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Guilford, CT
Programs: Delta and Hilton Diamond
Posts: 81
I had a FA on Southwest do something creative. It was a really quick hop from BDL to BWI and there wasn't time for beverage or snack service for the whole plane. So when the plane was climbing at its steepest angle, the FA announced that those who wanted a snack or drink should stick their hands out in the aisle. He then released a bunch of peanuts and a couple of waters down the center of the plane. A few people were able to grab them before they reached the rear gallery. People got a good laugh.