At 7:00AM this morning, it was the usual story of only 1/3 of the lines open and some good queues building. Hey ho. Got directed into the cancer machine, clerk on the other side of the machine had a very unintelligible accent (he was Asian, most likely Chinese but not really relevant, apart from being very difficult to understand). He kept shouting things but I really couldn't understand.
Anyway, when a 2 striper came over I very calmly said I wasn't being obstructive, but I really couldn't understand his colleague. The 2-striper told me that the clerk was unhappy that I wasn't holding my hands high enough in the surrender position. I responded that this was as high as my hands were going to go, due to a strained shoulder. Then they got flustered and asked me to walk out of the machine and through the accompanying WMTD. I expected a grope on the other side but no one blocked me or asked anything further so I walked away amazed at the game of charades we had just played.
To cap the morning event, they were doing gate searches at C6 (UA 496 to DEN). I kept walking and didn't respond to any of their greetings, and managed to avoid the bullet. Another day in paradise!