DYKWIA - The 2014 thread

Old Sep 14, 2014, 8:44 am
  #661  
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Originally Posted by CCayley
Frankly, if anyone really thinks there is nothing wrong with going into a shop, taking an item from the shelves, consuming it, and then leaving without paying for it, the fact that they are clearly not possessed of any understanding of the law is the least of their character defects. They would possess a somewhat defective moral compass, IMHO, which is much more important.
Originally Posted by JessicaTam
Which would fit rather nicely with the title of this thread.
Do You Know What I Ate?
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Old Sep 14, 2014, 9:16 am
  #662  
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Back on topic, sort of....

Flight last week back from DUS, I'm in the last row of CE. I sit down in my A seat and begin to close my eyes when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

"I believe you're in my seat."

"Really?"

"Yes, you must be in the middle seat."

"Huh?" I look at the teddy bear seat.

He pulls out his BP and I see 16A on it. He walks back, slightly rouge.
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Old Sep 14, 2014, 12:01 pm
  #663  
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This former air steward didn't do so well

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/tr...hoot-face.html

Former air stewardess flying to London for honeymoon kicked cabin crew and shouted: 'F*** off. I'm going to shoot you in the face'
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Old Sep 20, 2014, 4:24 pm
  #664  
 
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Originally Posted by LondonElite
Back on topic, sort of....

Flight last week back from DUS, I'm in the last row of CE. I sit down in my A seat and begin to close my eyes when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

"I believe you're in my seat."

"Really?"

"Yes, you must be in the middle seat."

"Huh?" I look at the teddy bear seat.

He pulls out his BP and I see 16A on it. He walks back, slightly rouge.
This guy was Do You Know Where I Am?
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 9:47 am
  #665  
 
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I think i had a DYKWIA moment myself a few weeks ago... at least i tried to. but - to my defense - i must say, it was provoked by a crew member. and i failed misserably anyways

i was in first to beijing with only 5 other (before stranger) ppl in the cabin and we ended up having a little party and probably the most unusual flight ever (in a very positive way!).
the crew seemed a bit surprised about the party-atmosphere first, but they were absolutely superb, kept the food and mainly alcohol flowing and even joined us for a bit (well, only for the chatting-part, not the drinking of course ).

so, quite a few hours into the nightflight and a few glases of... well, different things, the other guy and me decided it would be most funny to go back and raid club kitchen. i fancied a twix. or mars. or both. of course, the CC offered to bring us anything we wanted and also suggested the green tea ice cream (which i thought must be the most disgusting thing on earth), but we wanted to see and go for ourselves.

well, no sooner said than done, off we were. as it was a low J 747, there was only WT+ dividing us from the heaven of club kitchen. so we tiptoed through the WT+ cabin - or so we thought. considering the mad looks we got from the (probably before sleeping) people in WT+, we must have been giggling like little asian girls seeing... well, me. not sure why i do get that reaction from asian girls, and it happens quite a lot. but that's an other story, i guess

anyway, finally arriving at club kitchen, there was... nothing. nothing, but a well stocked fridge. well stocked with green tea ice cream, that was. great, i though. my british fellow was already totally into the better-not-to-be-spoken-of ice cream, of which i'm sure only citizens of the homeland of british airways can think of creating (), but he could not open the fridge. as he never had been to club kitchen before, i told him to step back and let me show him how to professionally open a fridge door. which - of course - resulted in a miserable failing on my side, too.

that said, there had been (i guess) a WT+ crew member in the galley, who was already observing us suspiciously, giving us a mad look from time to time and had no intention at all to help us - which i thought was a bit strange. however, i decided we would be way to drunk to figure out how to open the door any time soon and - nevertheless the embarrassment and the obviously not very amused cc-member - it would probably be best to ask the crew member how to open the stupid thing.

me: "how do you open the fridge, it doesn't open".

cabin crew: "you are coming from that cabin!" pointing at the WT+ cabin. ah, that was the problem.

british fellow and myself in unison, in the same intimated and apologetic tone: "but we are in first".

cabin crew, looking at us from head to toe in disgust (as always when flying, i got out of my shirt pretty quickly and was just in a white, short armed undershirt) and not having any intention to open the fridge: "sure you are". he was surely rolling his eyes. at least internally.

me, as alcohol does not make me the most patient person, trying to sound as sober and as respectable as you can with 27 years: "yes we are, and i would really like some ice cream, now!"

cabin crew, not believing us one word: "yeah, whatever". he then moved some switch on the door, opened the fridge, thrust us each one ice cream in our hands (but no spoons), locked the door again and sent us off to the WT+ cabin.
i was shortly thinking about asking for some twix and mars, but considered that would probably not he best idea. at least i got an ice cream, too... yippie

so back in first - after getting some more mad looks from the people in WT+ - we guffawingly told our cabin crew what had happened and he insisted on going back telling the other guy that we really are in first, just in case we wanted to go back gettin some more ice cream (hell, no).

so even if it was a bit DYKWIA, it was problaby the funniest inflight-moment i had. probably even the funniest flight i had. and i paid for it by eating the ice cream, which tasted about as disgusting as it sounded. there is reason green tea is served as tea and not as ice cream. the same goes for tiramisu, by the way.
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 9:53 am
  #666  
 
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Originally Posted by flolee
I think i had a DYKWIA moment myself a few weeks ago... at least i tried to. but - to my defense - i must say, it was provoked by a crew member. and i failed misserably anyways

i was in first to beijing with only 5 other (before stranger) ppl in the cabin and we ended up having a little party and probably the most unusual flight ever (in a very positive way!).
the crew seemed a bit surprised about the party-atmosphere first, but they were absolutely superb, kept the food and mainly alcohol flowing and even joined us for a bit (well, only for the chatting-part, not the drinking of course ).

so, quite a few hours into the nightflight and a few glases of... well, different things, the other guy and me decided it would be most funny to go back and raid club kitchen. i fancied a twix. or mars. or both. of course, the CC offered to bring us anything we wanted and also suggested the green tea ice cream (which i thought must be the most disgusting thing on earth), but we wanted to see and go for ourselves.

well, no sooner said than done, off we were. as it was a low J 747, there was only WT+ dividing us from the heaven of club kitchen. so we tiptoed through the WT+ cabin - or so we thought. considering the mad looks we got from the (probably before sleeping) people in WT+, we must have been giggling like little asian girls seeing... well, me. not sure why i do get that reaction from asian girls, and it happens quite a lot. but that's an other story, i guess

anyway, finally arriving at club kitchen, there was... nothing. nothing, but a well stocked fridge. well stocked with green tea ice cream, that was. great, i though. my british fellow was already totally into the better-not-to-be-spoken-of ice cream, of which i'm sure only citizens of the homeland of british airways can think of creating (), but he could not open the fridge. as he never had been to club kitchen before, i told him to step back and let me show him how to professionally open a fridge door. which - of course - resulted in a miserable failing on my side, too.

that said, there had been (i guess) a WT+ crew member in the galley, who was already observing us suspiciously, giving us a mad look from time to time and had no intention at all to help us - which i thought was a bit strange. however, i decided we would be way to drunk to figure out how to open the door any time soon and - nevertheless the embarrassment and the obviously not very amused cc-member - it would probably be best to ask the crew member how to open the stupid thing.

me: "how do you open the fridge, it doesn't open".

cabin crew: "you are coming from that cabin!" pointing at the WT+ cabin. ah, that was the problem.

british fellow and myself in unison, in the same intimated and apologetic tone: "but we are in first".

cabin crew, looking at us from head to toe in disgust (as always when flying, i got out of my shirt pretty quickly and was just in a white, short armed undershirt) and not having any intention to open the fridge: "sure you are". he was surely rolling his eyes. at least internally.

me, as alcohol does not make me the most patient person, trying to sound as sober and as respectable as you can with 27 years: "yes we are, and i would really like some ice cream, now!"

cabin crew, not believing us one word: "yeah, whatever". he then moved some switch on the door, opened the fridge, thrust us each one ice cream in our hands (but no spoons), locked the door again and sent us off to the WT+ cabin.
i was shortly thinking about asking for some twix and mars, but considered that would probably not he best idea. at least i got an ice cream, too... yippie

so back in first - after getting some more mad looks from the people in WT+ - we guffawingly told our cabin crew what had happened and he insisted on going back telling the other guy that we really are in first, just in case we wanted to go back gettin some more ice cream (hell, no).

so even if it was a bit DYKWIA, it was problaby the funniest inflight-moment i had. probably even the funniest flight i had. and i paid for it by eating the ice cream, which tasted about as disgusting as it sounded. there is reason green tea is served as tea and not as ice cream. the same goes for tiramisu, by the way.
I don't see anything funny about this escapade. Quite the opposite.
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 10:23 am
  #667  
 
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Knowing that drunk people are typically 10 times louder than they think they are, especially when they're trying to be quiet, I suspect if the "looks" from the WT+ passengers were because you'd woken them up. If so, not DYKWIA, but definitely rude and selfish.
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 10:58 am
  #668  
 
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After DYKWIA comes DYKWDI - do you know who Daddy is.

As per Italian SOP, flying out of Rome last week the boarding Fast Track was more of a vaguely circular gigantic pool of people than anything resembling a British queue. The OH and I expected as much, so we weren't really too bothered. The teenage girl behind us however seemed to take great delight in pax after pax in front of us being turned away for being ineligible (repetitive "ugh" coupled with rolling eyes in that delightfully teenage fashion).

When it was our turn to face the queue dragon, who of course let us through with a smile and a friendly thank you, it just blew her mind:

"Like seriously, daddy? They give Gold cards to, like, aaaaanyone now???"

I think I almost wet myself laughing all the way down the airbridge
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 11:05 am
  #669  
 
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Originally Posted by Paralytic
Knowing that drunk people are typically 10 times louder than they think they are, especially when they're trying to be quiet, I suspect if the "looks" from the WT+ passengers were because you'd woken them up. If so, not DYKWIA, but definitely rude and selfish.
Indeed your last sentence aptly describes the cabin crews attitude perfectly! Regardless of cabin of travel, hardly a fly to serve attitude.
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 1:15 pm
  #670  
 
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Originally Posted by Paralytic
Knowing that drunk people are typically 10 times louder than they think they are, especially when they're trying to be quiet, I suspect if the "looks" from the WT+ passengers were because you'd woken them up. If so, not DYKWIA, but definitely rude and selfish.
ok, that goes off in the wrong direction. i'll have to clarify: i originally wrote that text for some of my friends who just love politically incorrect, way exaggerated stories and i just copied parts of it over here shortly before leaving home in a hurry, not thinking about editing it in an adequate way for this (more serious) occasion. which probably was quite inconsiderate.

i really want to emphasize that yes, we got weird looks from some in the WT+ cabin, but those were the ones still awake, watching movies and probably wondered why we were brightly smiling crossing the cabin (and even brighter smiling - but not laughing or giggling! - on the way back). i guarantee we did not wake up anybody as we said no word or made any noise whatsoever, to which we really paid attention.

the funny part (for us, at least) was just the clash between us, who we were deeply content, relaxed and in a good mood with the quite bad tempered cabin crew, who would not believe we bonkers were in first and us not being able to convince him at least slightly. i hope that clarifies it a bit. the guys that know me (also over here) know that i would never ever be knowingly rude, quite in the contrary - most people make fun of me being overly considerate to others around me. like almost wetting myself waiting for the guy in the aisle seat to finally wake up for letting me pass as i could never wake somebody up if it wouldn't be absolutely necessary (just happened last week on a SH economy flight)
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 3:52 pm
  #671  
 
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It's not a story focussing on a particular event, but my second-favourite place to set in GC T5 is the glass wall overlooking the terminal. It's quiet, near a coffee machine, and you can look down upon the CCR door to count the 'success rate' of people who walk up to it looking hopeful versus the 'magic wave' of the dragon in the direction of the escalators. About 1 in 10...

Including those who walk up, get turned away, then come back and argue a bit.

In fairness a lot of the time the people are likely just asking directions to the right lounge (perhaps not believing the walk they're being asked to make), but, sometimes, you can just....tell when someone is trying to get blag a) a shortcut or b) fine champagne, or c) "please re-check my BP" whilst leaning on the desk to have a moan.

Category c), by the way, is usually people who are the least considerate going through security, which is another great people-watching time-passer.
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 4:04 pm
  #672  
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Originally Posted by flolee
the funny part (for us, at least) was just the clash between us, who we were deeply content, relaxed and in a good mood with the quite bad tempered cabin crew,
it's the ancient clash between the confidence, geniality and generosity of spirit of the fully-juiced but still walking; and the patient, fully-sober sod working towards the end of a shift involving a contractual obligation to be polite to the tired and emotional.

Often seen in drunks v taxidrivers, policemen and waiters in Indian restaurants.

But in your case you woke up next morning with the taxidriver equivalents in your room, gently shaking you awake and serving breakfast. Shudder
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 4:06 pm
  #673  
 
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Originally Posted by flolee
there is reason green tea is served as tea and not as ice cream. the same goes for tiramisu, by the way.
I never had it served as tea-ramisu. Where is that being offered?
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 4:11 pm
  #674  
 
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Classic today on the flight to ZRH. In ET. Rather than an excuse me, I got a sharp "tap tap tap" on the shoulder which it transpired was a young girl who wanted to get past into the middle seat. Fair enough, I was probably not paying attention. After a few moments, she asked the chap in the window seat if she could read his indy paper, she asked at the same time as helping herself to it from his seat pocket. As we were all still boarding, and it was still pristine, it must have been reasonably obvious he hadn't read it. She read it for the next 30 minutes, he dozed. Then, whilst he was asleep she tore out the Sudoko puzzle and the crossword from his paper and tucked them in her bag!!! When he woke up, he then had to ask for his paper back from her so he could read it. Obviously,being very british, he didnt say a word when he got to the comedy gaps!
...... I thought that the whole situation showed quite some front from her!
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Old Sep 22, 2014, 4:15 pm
  #675  
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Originally Posted by Champagne please
Classic today on the flight to ZRH.
Where does one find these people? All my flights are boring.
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