Trip Reports - Smuggling may have been a better idea …a tale of orchids, Thailand and the USDA

I don’t really remember how it started, but it began slowly until one day I found myself with a basement filled with dozens and dozens of orchids and the accompanying grow lights and watering mechanisms and such. And the first Thursday of the month, I would find myself at the local orchid club meetings, accompanying my son, who was by a long shot, the only person there not old enough to drive a car.

Two years ago, my son went off to college, but the orchids stayed here. I’ve only killed about 10 or maybe 14 or 15 or, well, it really doesn’t matter. There’s still a lot here …and my son seemed to think there needed to be more…

So this summer, while working in Bangkok, he decided he’d apply for a permit from the USDA to bring home orchids. “It’s really easy,” he told me. “They just send the permit and I get them inspected and bring them home.” Little did we know...

The last thing I needed was more of his orchids (have you priced orchid sitters lately?), but I was secretly excited. I’d been through orchid markets in Asia many times and enviously eyed species that here would be $100+ per plant and there were $5-10. I maybe suggested a species or two he might want to pick up.

The permit arrived quickly and I faxed it off to him. It was permission to go on a shopping spree and that he did.

“I went to an orchid farm today... thousands of plants all hanging in baskets with no bark. Must be so easy to grow here since they don't have to repot the plants and deal with bark. I bought various species that in the US species cost a ton if you can even find them.”

The day before he left for home, he went to a university near his lab to get two other documents required by the permit - a phytosanitary certificate and another that said the plants weren’t harvested from the wild. He carefully packed them in a box and checked them with Thai Air.

At 9 p.m. last Friday I got a text that he’d landed at LAX. He’d flown home with a friend and was waiting for her to get through immigration before he went to ag. His friend was traveling home to Brazil before returning to school in the US. She told the officer she was transiting, but he saw the student visa in her passport and decided that didn’t mesh even though she had the onward ticket to Brazil. It was off to the little interrogation room, where it became clear that if she said she was in the U.S. to go to school and wasn’t transiting she could leave. So that's what she did and they let her go. Now, I'm wondering what they would have done with her anyway ...send her back to Brazil, which is exactly where she was going? Made no sense.

Anyway, my son was waiting for her and that took about an hour. Then he, for reasons I don't quite understand, gave her his cellphone while he went to ag. And he never came out. At least that’s what I learned when I called his phone and found out it was on its way to Brazil.

So three hours after he’d landed, he'd not come out of ag and customs. This didn't seem good. I was thinking lots of weird stuff actually. I know he’s a good kid, but don’t all parents say that about their kids? And I don’t exactly have warm fuzzy feelings for customs or ag.

I called all over. Eventually, LAX PD gave me a number for customs. Just as customs was telling me they weren't holding anyone, the other phone rang and it was my son. Mini-crisis over. Turned out no one in ag knew what to do with the permit because it was late and the knowledgeable ones had apparently left, so he spent 1.5 hours there while they read through binders. He filled out more paperwork and they held the orchids for inspection, presumably on Monday.

Next: How Monday turns to Tuesday, which turns to Wednesday, which ...

An orchid in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

It's a shame that doing things the right way turns into such a huge hassle. I hope your orchids survive!

My son spent the weekend at home and woke up Monday to get on the phone and get the orchids inspected and sent up here to San Francisco.

Things didn’t go quite so easily though. Many of the numbers he had been given were disconnected. When he finally reached agriculture, the manager told him Thai Air needed to bring the orchids to them. Thai Air, however, said ag had to come to them. This went on all day with no progress.

On Tuesday, Thai Air agreed it was their job to take the orchids to ag. So ag gave him a 2 p.m. appointment. The end was in sight, or so we thought.

At 2:15 p.m. the USDA agent called and said a few documents were there as copies and they couldn’t inspect without the originals – the same originals the agent (who we are told really isn’t an agent, but just signed her name as one) at the airport returned and said they didn’t need.

So it was off to the post office to have the originals sent overnight to the USDA. They would be there by noon on Wednesday.

Wednesday afternoon the ag inspector called – they received the documents, the orchids passed inspection, but there was one problem. My son packed a new pair of shoes he’d just bought in Turkey and a pair of nearly new hiking boots in the bottom of the orchid box. The hiking boots had some dirt in the treds. He would have to confiscate them. Pfft. Had my son worn them in or packed them in his suitcase they would have been just fine.

So we really didn’t care about hiking boots at this point. What mattered was that the orchids had made it through the inspection. Now we just needed to get them to SFO. We asked United to send them as bonded baggage so they could clear customs in SFO, but no luck. We called everyone – customs, Thai Air, UPS – no luck. We tried customs brokers, but it was late in the afternoon and no one we tried was available.

By this time we were wondering about the orchids. We called friends in Hawaii who own an orchid farm and asked how much more time the orchids probably had left in the box. They told us they should be good for a week. It had been six days since my son boxed them up in Bangkok. It was now or never …

So I did the only logical thing …I bought a ticket to LAX for the next morning. They may have turned into expensive orchids, maybe even expensive dead orchids, but we had too much time invested to give up now.

Next: What do you mean the orchids are still being detained by agriculture?

The goal was to have the orchids home by Wednesday so my son could pot them before he left for school Thursday morning. Part of the requirements for bringing plants into the U.S. is that they can’t have any dirt or bark on them. Orchids have very specific potting needs and I really didn’t want to have to deal with potting 50 orchids.

But ‘twas not to be. Thursday morning I brought my son to United for his 6:15 a.m. flight to Boston and then I headed for Virgin America for my 8:30 a.m. flight to LAX. My first time on Virgin America and – wow! - it sure won’t be my last. (This trip followed a quest to find a late-night notary who could notarize documents giving me power of attorney so I could claim the orchids. And, it was a darn good thing I got it, since customs asked for it and kept it.)

Anyway, I hopped in a cab at LAX at 10 and gave the driver the first map to Thai Air’s cargo office, where paperwork was waiting for me. From there, we went to customs. At first, the cab driver didn’t seem too thrilled about the waiting part, but once he realized I would spend the morning paying him to stand around and smoke he seemed pretty OK with the idea.

At customs the agent looked at the paperwork and told me agriculture was still detaining the orchids. This was not what I was expecting to hear. I called the ag agent and he told me they inspect them, they don’t release them and that another USDA office has to do that. Customs seemed happy to deal with it, so I just let them make calls and hoped for the best. In the meantime, I had the cab driver take me to an ATM. We returned to customs and the agent saw me walk in. She was on the phone, but motioned to me to wait a minute. I kept trying to make something out of the gesture or her expressions …did the finger mean wait because it’s all done, or did it mean wait because we have a problem? Was the frown directed at the person on the phone, or was that a tip for me? Did she smile there? And if she did, was she smiling because she was eager to give me my orchids or because she wasn’t going to give me the orchids and delighted in seeing people miserable? I couldn’t read her at all …

She put the phone down …she handed me the papers …everything was stamped and signed …I could get the orchids!

It was back to Thai Air cargo, where I’ve never been so happy to see a box and yet I still had no idea if the orchids were alive, but I didn’t care. In fact, I didn’t open the box until I got home that evening. I just wasn’t sure I wanted to know. I was happy enough to have succeeded in getting the box; I didn't want anything to tarnish that just yet.

Next: Live orchids or dead wood …what would it be?

Its a shame that the inspection has taken so long, especially considering the fragile nature of most orchids. Hopefully they are still alive or can recover from the delays.

My uncle (in Canada) has a pretty vast collection of orchids from around the world (enough to fill the basement of his huge house) and he has been fortunate not to have experienced any importation issues. As he travels so frequently, he has come to know the agents on a first-name basis, which certainly helps make things go faster.


Good luck!

As I mentioned, this was my first time flying Virgin America and they sure won me over quickly. Everything about my experience was fantastic – great confirmed standby policy (I wasn’t sure when how long all this would take and when I’d be flying back), buy-ups to F for $50, cool interiors with lighting that flatters everyone, games, Tiesto, flight attendant outfits that look like regular clothes instead of something out of an old bin of polyester. I couldn’t find anything not to love.

As I was checking in, an agent asked me what was in the box. I’m sure he just wanted a one-word answer, but what spilled out was pretty much everything I’ve written here. I’m sure he was sorry he asked.

I intended to sleep on the way home, but got sucked into the games. I don’t usually check bags so it did cross my mind that this story could easily come to an end by me completely forgetting to head to baggage claim and never getting the box of orchids. But I made it …and my box made it.

I got to my car, shoved the box in the trunk and headed home, where I opened the box. There was green! I unwrapped each plant …more and more green. Some had blooms that survived, others had their buds in tact. They all made it.

I watered the orchids and called my son in Cambridge.

Five days, a cellphone, a pair of hiking boots, cargo fees, notary fees, FedEx fees, a trip to LA, a morning in a cab, more money than I care to add up, a melodramatic tale of woe …but they made it.

…and to think we could have just gone to Trader Joe’s. ;)

My uncle (in Canada) has a pretty vast collection of orchids from around the world (enough to fill the basement of his huge house) and he has been fortunate not to have experienced any importation issues. As he travels so frequently, he has come to know the agents on a first-name basis, which certainly helps make things go faster.

Thanks. We realized our big mistake and that was bringing them into LAX and not SFO. It would have been no problem to deal with all of this from nearby instead of from a distance. Arriving late on a Friday didn't help either. Next time ...

Well this is the first orchid trip report I've read on FT. :) I'm glad everything eventually worked out l'etoile.

Sounds very complicated. You say they needed to clear customs at SFO, but didn't that happen at LAX?

Fascinating story - a son who has a wide range of fascinating interests - and a Mom who supports him thru all of these passions.

How long did it take you to pot the orchids?

My money says she's still potting them :)

Well this is the first orchid trip report I've read on FT. :) I'm glad everything eventually worked out l'etoile.

Sounds very complicated. You say they needed to clear customs at SFO, but didn't that happen at LAX?

Thanks. Yes, they did eventually clear customs at LAX once ag released them. I was trying to avoid having to fly down to LAX (or getting a customs broker) for that by having them sent under customs bond to SFO, but time was running out so ...

SanDiego 1K: I, uh, haven't potted them yet. :o

Grow lights in the basement. Increased power usage due to grow lights. Government monitoring of power usage.

A four a.m. visit from the local police or even worse, the Drug Enforcement Agency due to suspected marihuana grow operation in your basement. You should expect the use of a battering ram so reinforce the doors now!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_(drug)

Have fun with your hobby. :)

Grow lights in the basement. Increased power usage due to grow lights. Government monitoring of power usage.

A four a.m. visit from the local police or even worse, the Drug Enforcement Agency due to suspected marihuana grow operation in your basement. You should expect the use of a battering ram so reinforce the doors now!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_(drug)

Have fun with your hobby. :)

LOL. Yes, we've thought about that ...many times. It's been several years though and so far so good ...knock on wood.

I'd really love to see some photos. Any chance of getting a few linked here?

I'd really love to see some photos. Any chance of getting a few linked here?

Yes, I'll put some in soon. I'm trying to get Zach to send me a few 'befores' also when many had blooms still on them.

Congratulations on getting them released. It's sad that this story showcases how totally poor entry into the US can be, for anyone or anything. If you had shipped them, no one probably would've given the box a second glance. And the confiscation of the hiking boots, I can't help but compare that to NZ where they'll clean the boots if they have dirt on them to ensure nothing comes in. Sometimes I'm surprised we're called a first world nation :(

Looks like T-Whiz owes l'etoile a favor. A big favor.

Great read (as expected). ^