Newsstand - How to avoid the annoying plane talker

http://www.canada.com/topics/travel/story.html?id=925553f5-7cb3-48a1-a501-c2c26d0f1f26

Flying might not be as glamorous as it used to be, but it can still provide you with some important alone time to catch up on your book or think your own thoughts. So what do you do when the person next to you sees the flight as an opportunity to make friends? Here are some coping strategies to get through the flight with your sanity intact and without being met by police upon landing.

Unless she is a hot young lady, my nose reduction headphones comeout as soon as I hear the first "bing" at 10K feet. :D

OTOH, I saw the good looking young lady do the exact same thing on occasion, sitting next to me....;)

Unless she is a hot young lady, my nose reduction headphones comeout as soon as I hear the first "bing" at 10K feet. :D

OTOH, I saw the good looking young lady do the exact same thing on occasion, sitting next to me....;)

nose reduction headsets sound cool!

Unless she is a hot young lady, my nose reduction headphones comeout as soon as I hear the first "bing" at 10K feet. :D

OTOH, I saw the good looking young lady do the exact same thing on occasion, sitting next to me....;)

Man, I could use nose reduction headphones, I have quite the snout. :D

..."have you accepted jesus christ as your personal savior" as an opener usually does the trick.:D

Two words: ear plugs.

If that fails: the look.

delete

Be annoying yourself. Try telling them you work for the IRS. " By the way, what line of work are you in ? That would put you in the $ xxx bracket, right ? "

Try telling 'em about the U.S. Senator you just spent some time with in the airport lavatory and offer to describe it in VIVID detail. Give a little ;) and just sit there lookin' like the cat who ate the canary.

If that doesn't work, then go to the Jesus routine and add that God is your co-pilot. At least they'll be confused.

In all seriousness, time on a plane is very much my quiet time. I get to do whatever I want without email or phone calls or anything else. Time to catch up on a novel, or do pages and pages of sudoku, or enjoy some CD's (dinosaur, I know), or do some work when necessary. Most of the time, I just want to be left alone. The only thing I really talk about--and briefly, primarily towards the end of the flight--is stuff we can see out the window or places we're going. Totally innocuous stuff. A simple nod and "Hello" at the beginning of the flight, especially given in response to a bubbly "Hello, how are you?" will send the this-is-quiet-time-let's-have-a-silent-contest message.

My Bose headphones and eye mask always help me to avoid talkers. :)

I too enjoy the quiet time component of the flight.

Has anyone here ever actually asked a seat neighbor to pipe down? I have wanted to dozens of times, but couldn't think of a way to do it without sounding like a total renob.

Along the same lines: which is more annoying, the adjacent seat talkers or the people with crappy headphones whose music you can partially hear from several seats away?

I'm surprised nobody has suggested "let me tell you about this new life insurance product my company is working on." It sure kept me facing the window instead of talking to a BOS-ORD seatmate a while back. (The sad part was that he meant it, and seemed to think I might really want to hear about it. Maybe some people would. I might under the right circumstances, but being attacked with it by a total stranger while in captivity ain't them.)

Tell them that you are a financial planner and that you also sell all kinds of insurance: health, term, disability, long term care, auto, homeowners, earthquake, flood, liability, boat, plane, malpractice, etc.,.. and ask if you can help them with their insurance or financial planning needs.

Oops! Poster Efrem just beat me to the Insurance line

"My non-infectious form of TB really hasn’t been much of a problem" <*cough*>

Or try the polite line "I'm really not interesting in having a conversation with you."

Sure, it may hurt their feelings, but you can never be accused of not being honest. Nor will you have to sit through a pointless conversation.

Maybe my introvert personality type keeps me from yaking it up with complete strangers, but I find it rude for when people attempt to engage me in conversation when I've made no indication that I'm interested in having one.

I have found very often that after a few minutes of their rambling on and on, either I answer a question they asked me, with an answer that has nothing to do with what they were talking about. Or make a statement about something that has nothing to do with what they were talking about.

They then look at me as if I the Nut and that ends that, mission accomplished and quickly I put on my JVC headphones and smile away.:D

Or do what I do all the time (Unless it's a hot chick talking and I have a chance in Useless Airways hell to get laid) *points to my ears and whisper "I'm Deaf sorry"* then go back to my routine of snobbery and elitism in the First Class cabin ;)

I usually put on my Bose QC-2 but i have often been tempted to tell them about" OUR NEW LINE OF UNIVERSAL LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES. THESE ARE GUARANTEED TO.............".

MisterNice

So what do you do when the person next to you sees the flight as an opportunity to make friends?

I just never understood this mentality. Just because you are seated next to someone does not mean you have anything else in common or need to know my name/job/location.

I usually just assume my window seat and proceed to stare out it.

One time I didn't act quick enough and the lady next to me proceeded to tell me the delivery method for all her children and grandchildren (and i don't mean FedEx/UPS).

Has anyone tried this:

"I'm sorry, but I'm rather tired and don't feel like chatting," then putting on headphones and ignoring the chatterbox?

I usually ask if they want to look at my Amway products...

I usually put on my Bose QC-2 but i have often been tempted to tell them about" OUR NEW LINE OF UNIVERSAL LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES. THESE ARE GUARANTEED TO.............".

MisterNice

As I've mentioned before in another similar thread......pretending to be a scientologist missionary tends to help quickly disinterest nosy seat-mates too and -- in some cases -- even liberate the adjacent seat they used to occupy :D

Someone who insists on talking to me is in for a real fright.

A few years back I was a vampire for a Halloween party. I had some custom teeth made, double canines that fit directly onto the individual teeth. Look totally real. I take those with me when I anticipate being stuck on long trips with strangers.

All I have to do is leer at the chatty passenger, exposing my teeth, and hiss. Not only does it shut them up fast, but half the time they find somewhere else to sit, leaving me with extra room! :D

I find that by rolling my eyes and burying my head in a newspaper the offending person generally gets the idea pretty quickly. On the odd occasions that doesn't work, I politely but firmly let them know that I have absolutely no interest in talking to them. The next step beyond that is shoving one of my socks in their mouth and laughing maniacally.

I'm not much of a plane talk initiator myself, but when someone strikes up a conversation with me, I'd never actively shut them out. I think plane talking is part of the spirit of flying(Where else is it so easy to briefly get to know complete strangers face to face?). When we lose that, then we may as well be back home on the bloody subway. :td:

I'm not much of a plane talk initiator myself, but when someone strikes up a conversation with me, I'd never actively shut them out. I think plane talking is part of the spirit of flying(Where else is it so easy to briefly get to know complete strangers face to face?). When we lose that, then we may as well be back home on the bloody subway. :td:Though I ama non-talker, I will admit that, but for a conversation struck up by a seatmate on a long-ago flight to Hong Kong, I would never have met my wife.

I find that by rolling my eyes and burying my head in a newspaper the offending person generally gets the idea pretty quickly. On the odd occasions that doesn't work, I politely but firmly let them know that I have absolutely no interest in talking to them. The next step beyond that is shoving one of my socks in their mouth and laughing maniacally.

....the same socks you walked through the TSA circus with while your shoes got run through a do-not-detect-bombs-anyways-so-it's-just-for-shows-machine?

Man, you're mean :D

Of course this could be your fate.:td:

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/drunk-spat-at--snooty-passengers/2007/08/31/1188067342440.html

A 40-year-old drunken man spat coffee at three fellow Jetstar passengers because he thought they were acting in a "snooty" manner, a court has been told.

The Brisbane Magistrates Court today was told Sharman had been drinking alcohol on the flight and became annoyed when two women and a man sitting across the aisle refused to engage in conversation with him.

He then turned and spat his drink at the trio, asking: "How's the coffee?"

"I have a medical condition that causes projectile vomiting if I am spoken to by non-airline personnel while the plane is moving."

Then, hope you don't get a long ground delay....