mwp2paris
Jun 17, 04, 7:49 pm
The 6:25 departure to US MCI, now featuring the lovely ERJ70.
Let's review the events of the evening (yes all of this could happen on any other carrier, but I wasn't on any other carrier)...
The inbound equipment was a little late but we board at 6:05 after, we are told, catering and cleaning has been completed.
I take my seat in 1C, front row for this unbelieveable series of events...I shall call it Keystone Kops Decide to Run an Airline.
...lead FA is loudly announcing she doesn't have ice to the captain.
...other FA is parading a baby up and down the aisle.
...rain begins.
...lead FA is still announcing she doesn't have ice to the GA, the captain, and those of us in the first row.
...other FA shows back up with the same baby and coos for a while (baby was rather blockheaded and not nearly as cute as the FA was gushing it was).
...another FA shows up who is working the flight at the next gate but she just stopped by to visit and announce that "she worked this flight last night and they were 3 hours late."
...captain announces ramp is closed.
...Continental 737 arrives at next gate and workers swarm out to off load luggage, load luggage, and prepare it to depart.
...passenger in 1F points this out and is told by the FA who just showed up and is not actually working our flight that "they are a different company and if they want to get hit by lightening, that's up to them, but US policy is no one outside for 10 minutes after the last strike." She then mutters under her breathe just loud enough to be heard by the 2 other FAs and me that "she must have answered that question 15 times last night. Can't they see those planes aren't US planes?" Well, begone now, Ms. Biddy.
...passenger in 1F looks at me, rolls his eyes, I return with a shrug of the shoulders...he says that he doesn't appreciate it when he is told one thing but his eyes see another. I smile and agree.
...lead FA is still announcing she doesn't have ice and now her trash is overflowing.
...GA says that because ramp is closed, no ice is coming.
...watch Continental 737 back out and depart...lucky b*st*rds.
...lead FA decides that we have been sitting for an hour and deserve water.
...water is served.
...FA not working our flight decides to go away...good, she was snippy and not helpful to the morale of our flight.
...lead FA is now really worried because she doesn't have ice, she just served us water, and now may have to use styrafoam cups to serve beverages inflight but if ice doesn't arrive she won't do a service because that is policy.
...other FA shows up and grabs some pretzels, sticks them in her pockets, and disappears. She did not assist in the delivery of water.
...lead FA announces to those of us in row 1 that she hopes we aren't delayed to long because they have a "really short layover" in MCI.
...1F and I look at each other, look at her and say in unison, "so do we!"
...lead FA says, "you have a flight?"
...we say, "no, we have jobs!"
...lead FA says "but I don't get paid for any of this while we sit here with the door open."
...we say, "nor do we."
...game, set, match for that conversation.
...a flurry of activity ensues as suddenly it appears that the ramp is opening. A quick conference between lead FA and captain and it is decided we go with no ice and lots of trash....because, in the words of the captain, "that is what they would want."
...GA comes done and says they need the gate now. Lead FA reminds him of no ice and too much trash and mid her sentence, he actually SLAMS THE DOOR IN HER FACE...so much for teamwork.
...door shut, jetbridge pulls back, we sit...and sit...lots of ringing and phone calls and bits of conversation that sound like this "Yes, the inbound FA told me about it but said it wasn't a problem"; "Yes, we knew about it when the equipment came in"; and "I don't know, it wasn't written up and they said it wasn't a problem."
Sounds like a problem.
...captain on PA "we have a problem. A light up here indicates a door back there is not closing properly. Maintenance is on its way."
...we have now sat here at the gate for nearly 2 hours and they just discovered this problem that the FA claims they knew about all along?
...1F says that sounds kind of stupid that it took that long to discover and report a problem if if they knew it already existed. Lead FA replies that it wasn't really a problem according to the previous crew and it was the weather.
...Uhh??? A door not closing is not a problem?
...jetbridge reattached, door opened, we wait...and wait.
...a few more phone calls and suddenly a flurry of activity. The other FA shows up from the back, makes the "we are departing, so stow everything and arm the doors" announcement and runs to the back.
...the jetbridge is still attached and the lead FA is having a problem. The front door won't close because the jetbridge is in the way.
...captain on PA, "problem appears to have fixed itself, we are not waiting on maintenance, we are going." Perhaps this plane runs on Microsoft XP and he just rebooted it?
...other FA runs back up (possibly throwing the blockheaded baby into the lap of its parents on the way) and asks "what's the problem?" The lead FA tells her and the other FA says, "stand back and watch this" and just grabs the door and slams it, jetbridge be dam*ed.
...captain on PA, "the ramp has been closed again due to the weather."
...lead FA just keeps repeating to anyone who will listen "it's the weather."
...another Continental and an America West jets roll up to gate and are serviced by rampworkers as we watch with growing envy.
...ramp reopens and we are ready to go..."WAIT," I say to lead FA, "the jetbridge is still pressed against our window."
...lead FA jumps up, looks out, grabs phone and calls captain.
...we sit and sit and sit.
...lead FA tells us in row 1 (I feel like I am now part of an informal inner sanctum of insider info and gossip) that the captain has tried everything and is now on his cell phone trying to get someone to come move the jetbridge and fire up the tug so we can push back.
...1F offers to round up some men and go down and push this baby back. Lead FA smiles, rolls her eyes, and politely declines his offer.
...maintenance shows up on jetbridge, sees us sitting there with our door closed. Phone calls are made, shoulders are shrugged, they leave, we sit.
...jetbridge is finally pulled back.
...we are ready to go...catering shows up to service the plane that we were told had been catered whilest we waited in the gatehouse 2+ hours ago now.
...the FAs run up the aisle with ice and a bag of contraband...catering had given them goodies from the FC basket and the other FA is stashing potato chips, cookies, and other sweets and savories all over her body so she can run to the back unnoticed...wouldn't matter, most of us are now fainting from low blood sugar.
...within minutes, other FA shows up for more bags of Cape Cod potato chips and stuffs them in her pockets. Lead FA is in galley literally stuffing goodies down her gullet...wrappers are flying, crumbs are crumming...wow, obviously not on the Atkins.
...lead FA sees us in the row 1 inner sanctum watching her grazing frenzy and wiping chip dust off her chin, takes pity on us by offering us chips or candy from her bag of contraband. 1D takes candy and can barely get the wrapper off...he pops his morsel into his mouth and slumps back off to dreamland.
Well, we finally taxi, sit forever (we are number 18 or 19 to takeoff) and I arrive safely home nearly 3 1/2 hours late.
Final pithy remarks...
On the one hand, the lead FA, though she never ever strayed from the "its the weather, stupid" arguement despite all the swirling lunacy around her that had nothing to do with weather but rather lousy management and oversight, did run water while she wasn't getting paid and we had a nice conversation whilest working our way to the runway.
On the other hand, the other FA appeared looney at best, and verging on way-off-balanced/unhinged at worst. When she just slammed that door despite the appeals of the other FA to "be careful, the jetbridge will damage it" I thought I really don't know if I want to be locked on here with her. Luckily, her carb-loading must have sent her blood sugar soaring and then crashing, and I think she just slumbered in the rear jumpseat in an insulin-induced hangover because we didn't see her the entire flight once airborne and she had run the $5.00 snackpacks down the aisle.
When we bounced back to earth, she managed to roust herself enough to welcome us to Kansas. Kansas, indeed. I looked at the lead FA, smiled and said "won't she be surprised when she finds out she is actually in Missouri" and the lead FA just chuckled. I think she thought she was one pill shy of sane, too.
BUT GOD ALMIGHTY, PHL is the most unorganized, inefficient, unfocused, uncoordinated airline effort ever...and that is on a good day.
So yeah, there was weather, but this night that was just icing on the cake of another evening at USAirways PHL operations.
It almost breaks my heart to fly US these days...I was CP for years and loved them...but they are a mere shadow of those great days of the late 90s when they were it, in my book (well, right behind AA).
Let's review the events of the evening (yes all of this could happen on any other carrier, but I wasn't on any other carrier)...
The inbound equipment was a little late but we board at 6:05 after, we are told, catering and cleaning has been completed.
I take my seat in 1C, front row for this unbelieveable series of events...I shall call it Keystone Kops Decide to Run an Airline.
...lead FA is loudly announcing she doesn't have ice to the captain.
...other FA is parading a baby up and down the aisle.
...rain begins.
...lead FA is still announcing she doesn't have ice to the GA, the captain, and those of us in the first row.
...other FA shows back up with the same baby and coos for a while (baby was rather blockheaded and not nearly as cute as the FA was gushing it was).
...another FA shows up who is working the flight at the next gate but she just stopped by to visit and announce that "she worked this flight last night and they were 3 hours late."
...captain announces ramp is closed.
...Continental 737 arrives at next gate and workers swarm out to off load luggage, load luggage, and prepare it to depart.
...passenger in 1F points this out and is told by the FA who just showed up and is not actually working our flight that "they are a different company and if they want to get hit by lightening, that's up to them, but US policy is no one outside for 10 minutes after the last strike." She then mutters under her breathe just loud enough to be heard by the 2 other FAs and me that "she must have answered that question 15 times last night. Can't they see those planes aren't US planes?" Well, begone now, Ms. Biddy.
...passenger in 1F looks at me, rolls his eyes, I return with a shrug of the shoulders...he says that he doesn't appreciate it when he is told one thing but his eyes see another. I smile and agree.
...lead FA is still announcing she doesn't have ice and now her trash is overflowing.
...GA says that because ramp is closed, no ice is coming.
...watch Continental 737 back out and depart...lucky b*st*rds.
...lead FA decides that we have been sitting for an hour and deserve water.
...water is served.
...FA not working our flight decides to go away...good, she was snippy and not helpful to the morale of our flight.
...lead FA is now really worried because she doesn't have ice, she just served us water, and now may have to use styrafoam cups to serve beverages inflight but if ice doesn't arrive she won't do a service because that is policy.
...other FA shows up and grabs some pretzels, sticks them in her pockets, and disappears. She did not assist in the delivery of water.
...lead FA announces to those of us in row 1 that she hopes we aren't delayed to long because they have a "really short layover" in MCI.
...1F and I look at each other, look at her and say in unison, "so do we!"
...lead FA says, "you have a flight?"
...we say, "no, we have jobs!"
...lead FA says "but I don't get paid for any of this while we sit here with the door open."
...we say, "nor do we."
...game, set, match for that conversation.
...a flurry of activity ensues as suddenly it appears that the ramp is opening. A quick conference between lead FA and captain and it is decided we go with no ice and lots of trash....because, in the words of the captain, "that is what they would want."
...GA comes done and says they need the gate now. Lead FA reminds him of no ice and too much trash and mid her sentence, he actually SLAMS THE DOOR IN HER FACE...so much for teamwork.
...door shut, jetbridge pulls back, we sit...and sit...lots of ringing and phone calls and bits of conversation that sound like this "Yes, the inbound FA told me about it but said it wasn't a problem"; "Yes, we knew about it when the equipment came in"; and "I don't know, it wasn't written up and they said it wasn't a problem."
Sounds like a problem.
...captain on PA "we have a problem. A light up here indicates a door back there is not closing properly. Maintenance is on its way."
...we have now sat here at the gate for nearly 2 hours and they just discovered this problem that the FA claims they knew about all along?
...1F says that sounds kind of stupid that it took that long to discover and report a problem if if they knew it already existed. Lead FA replies that it wasn't really a problem according to the previous crew and it was the weather.
...Uhh??? A door not closing is not a problem?
...jetbridge reattached, door opened, we wait...and wait.
...a few more phone calls and suddenly a flurry of activity. The other FA shows up from the back, makes the "we are departing, so stow everything and arm the doors" announcement and runs to the back.
...the jetbridge is still attached and the lead FA is having a problem. The front door won't close because the jetbridge is in the way.
...captain on PA, "problem appears to have fixed itself, we are not waiting on maintenance, we are going." Perhaps this plane runs on Microsoft XP and he just rebooted it?
...other FA runs back up (possibly throwing the blockheaded baby into the lap of its parents on the way) and asks "what's the problem?" The lead FA tells her and the other FA says, "stand back and watch this" and just grabs the door and slams it, jetbridge be dam*ed.
...captain on PA, "the ramp has been closed again due to the weather."
...lead FA just keeps repeating to anyone who will listen "it's the weather."
...another Continental and an America West jets roll up to gate and are serviced by rampworkers as we watch with growing envy.
...ramp reopens and we are ready to go..."WAIT," I say to lead FA, "the jetbridge is still pressed against our window."
...lead FA jumps up, looks out, grabs phone and calls captain.
...we sit and sit and sit.
...lead FA tells us in row 1 (I feel like I am now part of an informal inner sanctum of insider info and gossip) that the captain has tried everything and is now on his cell phone trying to get someone to come move the jetbridge and fire up the tug so we can push back.
...1F offers to round up some men and go down and push this baby back. Lead FA smiles, rolls her eyes, and politely declines his offer.
...maintenance shows up on jetbridge, sees us sitting there with our door closed. Phone calls are made, shoulders are shrugged, they leave, we sit.
...jetbridge is finally pulled back.
...we are ready to go...catering shows up to service the plane that we were told had been catered whilest we waited in the gatehouse 2+ hours ago now.
...the FAs run up the aisle with ice and a bag of contraband...catering had given them goodies from the FC basket and the other FA is stashing potato chips, cookies, and other sweets and savories all over her body so she can run to the back unnoticed...wouldn't matter, most of us are now fainting from low blood sugar.
...within minutes, other FA shows up for more bags of Cape Cod potato chips and stuffs them in her pockets. Lead FA is in galley literally stuffing goodies down her gullet...wrappers are flying, crumbs are crumming...wow, obviously not on the Atkins.
...lead FA sees us in the row 1 inner sanctum watching her grazing frenzy and wiping chip dust off her chin, takes pity on us by offering us chips or candy from her bag of contraband. 1D takes candy and can barely get the wrapper off...he pops his morsel into his mouth and slumps back off to dreamland.
Well, we finally taxi, sit forever (we are number 18 or 19 to takeoff) and I arrive safely home nearly 3 1/2 hours late.
Final pithy remarks...
On the one hand, the lead FA, though she never ever strayed from the "its the weather, stupid" arguement despite all the swirling lunacy around her that had nothing to do with weather but rather lousy management and oversight, did run water while she wasn't getting paid and we had a nice conversation whilest working our way to the runway.
On the other hand, the other FA appeared looney at best, and verging on way-off-balanced/unhinged at worst. When she just slammed that door despite the appeals of the other FA to "be careful, the jetbridge will damage it" I thought I really don't know if I want to be locked on here with her. Luckily, her carb-loading must have sent her blood sugar soaring and then crashing, and I think she just slumbered in the rear jumpseat in an insulin-induced hangover because we didn't see her the entire flight once airborne and she had run the $5.00 snackpacks down the aisle.
When we bounced back to earth, she managed to roust herself enough to welcome us to Kansas. Kansas, indeed. I looked at the lead FA, smiled and said "won't she be surprised when she finds out she is actually in Missouri" and the lead FA just chuckled. I think she thought she was one pill shy of sane, too.
BUT GOD ALMIGHTY, PHL is the most unorganized, inefficient, unfocused, uncoordinated airline effort ever...and that is on a good day.
So yeah, there was weather, but this night that was just icing on the cake of another evening at USAirways PHL operations.
It almost breaks my heart to fly US these days...I was CP for years and loved them...but they are a mere shadow of those great days of the late 90s when they were it, in my book (well, right behind AA).