GLBT Travelers - Travel for a long-distance relationship?

It's not a new issue but I think it's worth of discussions.

I did a DC-NYC "short-distance" relationship for 6 months. Plenty tranportation options between the two cities and it takes like 3-4 hours downtown to downtown anyways either via Delta and US Airways shuttles, Amtrak or greyhound bus.

I didn't mind traveling to see my b/f but after a while he thought this distance thing makes things more complicated. One time i heard a straight guy who has been traveling between DC-NYC commute for 5 or 6 years already. It works for him and her.

What do you think?

FM Maniac
p.s. I wonder if one day I move back to Asia and there's still anyone willing to travel across the Pacific or the Pond to see me....

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- I am a Freqnt Miles Maniac and a Ballroom Dance Miniac :-) -

I have to say it has never ever worked for me. I tried a Maine and NY, and a London and NY (what is it about NY boys?) I racked up some miles though flying out there, flew into Syracuse and Rochester quite a few times!

My motto, "Never date to earn miles".

I did 2 semi-long distance ones. First one was Buffalo-Chicago, lasted 6 mos. Second one was Buffalo-Lexington KY, we've been together for almost 6 years.

Long distance relationships can work out fine. Me and my bf travel more than 5 hrs by train or 3.5 hrs by car almost every weekend between Brussels (where he lives) and the north of the Netherlands (where I live). We are now together more than one year. I am fortunate though that soon I'll move down to Brussels too and we can move in together. Travelling in the boring train is not so much fun. It's better to be together :-)

I have been in an 9 month LDR where I commute ORD-SIN. Done it 8 times so far. Just got back to ORD this afternoon. Looks like the next trip can't be until July :-(

For 2 years I had a NYC-DCA relationship that went on for another 15, should have ended it at 10 however :-). LDRs can work --it takes time, loyalty and a bit of money. A side benefit is all the FF miles for the honeymoons.

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gfowler-ord-1k
Living in SIN

[This message has been edited by gfowler-ord-1k (edited 05-14-2002).]

Back in November, 1995 I met my current partner in Northern VA just three weeks before I was to move to Rochester, NY. For the next 18 months, we did the long distance thing... with one of us travelling to the other IAD-ROC or vice versa every two weeks.

Finally, in June, 1996 Al moved up to Rochester. I then accepted a job in West Des Moines, IA six months later... http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/smile.gif

We have been together for seven years this year... it does work! But it is not easy.

William

When I was living in LONDON/SINGAPORE, I met someone in SAN DIEGO. So that started the LDR. Lets just say that I started off with only 18K miles on my AA account and within 8 months I hit Exec Platinum.

Now I'm split living between SAN DIEGO/SINGAPORE and TORONTO and I've just met someone in CAPETOWN.

Good thing I have a couple of RTW's planned through South Africa for the next few months. After that, who knows?

Well, after living together for three years (started out AUS-MSY LDR), we spent the next two split between Ann Arbor, MI and Princeton, NJ (ended up using EWR, PHL, and ABE), followed up by DFW-Princeton for 8 months or so. The LD part has finally come to an end, I'm glad to say. Long distance can be a real strain on a relationship, but it is doable.

I did SFO-ORD for a year and then he came to Chicago and it lasted 15 more. Three of us (including UA) were very happy that first year.

I was at school in Providence, he was at school in Paris. It lasted that way for about a year, and involved several transatlantic trips (on http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/starsmilie.gifAF http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/starsmilie.gif and UA).

That NYC connection!

Here's another: I've dated a couple of guys in NYC & area, both when I was in YUL and later in YEG. (Also did ORD/PBI/DFW/SLC, but those are stories for another day)

The one I'm currently with is a keeper. I'm now in NYC and we're about to celebrate three incredible years together. We did the LD thing for quite a while, and I worried when I moved we'd fly a lot less. Luckily, he caught the mileage bug and we've managed to maintain, even increase, our flying.

He's worked most of his week in ORD for several months now, flying back and forth each week. So, the LDR continues, in a way, just with different circumstances. It doesn't really matter whether you're across the continent, a time zone away, or across town, the commitment is either there, or it isn't.

I think it takes a special breed to be able to handle a committed LDR. You need to be able to be alone, but be "with someone" at the same time.

Good luck to all who endeavor to do so: you obviously stepped outside the limits most people impose on themselves to find someone you want-- what a terrific thing!



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_ _ _ _ ______ _ _ _ _
Never go straight anywhere

My boyfriend is living in SAN for a year, and we've been chugging along with an LDR for the past six months.

I've been flying from home (in SFO) to DTW on an almost weekly basis for work, and have included a weekend in SAN two or three times a month. He generally makes it up to SFO once a month. When he left SFO, we decided that long telephone calls and occasional visits wouldn't be enough, so we've made a real effort to spend nearly every weekend together.

Has been it been worth it - absolutely. Is it working - definitely. But I've got to tell you -- it's rough enough flying 200,000 miles a year for work -- being out of town three weekends a month is really beating me up. I'm really exhausted.

I think he'll be headed back to SFO by late fall -- it'll be great to have him back and I'll probably do a better job of controlling my work travel too so we can more time together. I do little to avoid work trips now because I know I can tag on a free SAN weekend stopover on the way back.

Does anyone else "deliver client savings" by including a weekend stay to visit an LDR partner?


[This message has been edited by snorkmaster (edited 05-17-2002).]

my one-and-only LDR experience was also cross-border....who would have guessed that so many significant emotional events could occur in airport departure lounges! i'm still not sure we would have ever seen our 21st anniversary if it hadn't been for the time apart in the early years....we certainly didn't have to worry about rushing things http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/smile.gif

My LDR story started in the Bay Area when my boyfriend and I were together for a year. He went off to DFW and we worked hard to see each other every 2-3 weeks. After a year of this, I moved to DFW and telecommuted back to SFO-SJC for 3 years. Last summer, we moved to SLC and my commute was much shorter (but on DL-I miss MRTC!).

Recently I needed to spend a few months in the office, so I am back in SFO and commuting to SLC on the weekends (or he'll come to SF like for the 3 weeks since April 1!).

It is possible, but you both need to have clear rules as what is okay and not okay.

Further to my post above on my 'potential' in CPT, it looks like I'll be including CPT in my travel plans every month for the next x months now !

First the good news: I managed to issue and reissue some of my (numerous) RTW tickets to include CapeTown in the routing for the next year.

Now the bad news: I've broken off the relationship with J. just last weekend while in Paris with him.

C'est la vie.

Condolences, GB.

I'm dating someone local now. But do you think the issues would be easier or fewer after dating someone for a while? I dont' think so.

The only convenience is to see each other easily and regularly w/o having to travel much. I can just "metro" to see him ;-)

What are your thoughts?

FM Maniac

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- I am a Freqnt Miles Maniac and a Ballroom Dance Miniac :-) -

I have been wondering while reading the above posts which airport was "LDR".

Stephen
the most stupid person on flyertalk

[This message has been edited by sjharte (edited 06-25-2002).]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by sjharte:
[B]I have been wondering while reading the above posts which airport was "LDR".

SJHarte,

LDR = Long Distance Relationship. Not an airport code ;-)



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- I am a Freqnt Miles Maniac and a Ballroom Dance Miniac :-) -

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">What are your thoughts?</font>

I was in an LDR for about 9 months with a guy from Houston a couple of years ago. It introduced a lot of stress into my life (and his) due to being away from home so often. We eventually broke it off.

It's certainly a matter of individual taste. I know of several couples who met that way and one of the two eventually moved. I personally would never want to do it for more than a couple or three months without one or the other person moving. But as they say YMMV.

Some of the important issues for me to consider would be:

- How far away is the other person, is he close enough to make it feasible? I know of a Sydney/London couple that lasted for about a year; I know guys in San Francisco who would consider Oakland an LDR and would think it too difficult to go "over there"

- How adaptable are you and he to spending time away from home?

- Is one or the other partner moving in the short or long term a viable option?

- Does being away from home a lot represent running away from responsibility or not dealing with one's life for one partner or the other?

- Is one or the other person staying in the relationship as a result of miles/status addiction? http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/eek.gif Had to mention that one!

- Is the appeal of the situation due to the fact that the other person is less available than someone local would be? (If so, it might be easier to be with someone local and get better at setting boundaries.)

Sounds like a good issue to consult a therapist on, someone who could ask the right questions to help determine if that sort of thing would work for you or not. Very personal stuff, and there is no right answer.

I nearly got slapped in the head the other day while having dinner with Celbrian and SanDiego1K when I casually mentioned that I could never date someone who's UA1K because I can't stand UNITED and am an Executive Platinum on AMERICAN myself.

Now does that make me shallow?

Ok, ok.... if he'd give up a couple of UA flights for me... I guess I can relent and take UA once in a while !

http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/smile.gif

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by Guy Betsy:
I nearly got slapped in the head the other day while having dinner with Celbrian and SanDiego1K when I casually mentioned that I could never date someone who's UA1K because I can't stand UNITED and am an Executive Platinum on AMERICAN myself.
http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/smile.gif</font>

I understand. You are totally correct and Celbrian and SanDiego1k are wrong on this one. Sadly, the woman I am now attempting to date is flying Southwest. And is an attorney. OMG, my standards have fallen.

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by Comicwoman:
I understand. You are totally correct and Celbrian and SanDiego1k are wrong on this one. Sadly, the woman I am now attempting to date is flying Southwest. And is an attorney. OMG, my standards have fallen.

</font>

Gasp - NO NO NO - http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by Comicwoman:
I understand. You are totally correct and Celbrian and SanDiego1k are wrong on this one. Sadly, the woman I am now attempting to date is flying Southwest. And is an attorney. OMG, my standards have fallen.

</font>

Hm.... I wonder what your standards are... http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif

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- I am a Freqnt Miles Maniac and a Ballroom Dance Miniac :-) -

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by FrequentMilesManiac:
Hm.... I wonder what your standards are... http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif

</font>

Just a pulse and no (recent) criminal record. http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by Comicwoman:
...the woman I am now attempting to date is flying Southwest...</font>

Somebody call an exorcist!

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by dgolds:
Some of the important issues for me to consider would be:

- Is one or the other partner moving in the short or long term a viable option?
</font>

I agree with all these points, although I'd re-phrase this one a little:

- Is there light at the end of the tunnel? Do you both agree that, eventually, personal should trump professional and one of you will have to move & join the other.

My partner and I met 6 months before the end of grad school... we'd been together long enough to know we didn't want to break uop, but not long enough to give up the great jobs we'd both been offered (mine in DC, his in Michigan). So we decided to try the long-distance thing for 2 years max. After 20 months, he found a great new job here in DC and we've been living together quite blissfully since February. (And I continue to enjoy the Silver status I earned on Continental while flying NW to see him http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/smile.gif)

So it can work, but for me it was only possible with a definite time horizon. Good luck!

David

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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by IndyDavid:
.... while flying NW to see him ...
</font>

Err... could I get a second exorcist here please?

I did 3.5 years cross-country. It worked great. Unfortunately, when we finally lived in the same town we found out we drove each other nuts!
http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/biggrin.gif

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As God as my witness, I will never fly coach again. &lt;sorry Scarlet&gt;
I am not real smart, but I can lift heavy things.

I don't think I could love a man who had lower FF status than me! http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/biggrin.gif

This morning it struck me why most of us don't mind traveling for a LDR or at least trying. It's because we are addicted to flying and traveling! Some people out there may not be as addicted as we are in this FlyterTalk world and they certainly dont' love flying as much as we do. Not to mention flying to see a lover and rack up some mileage.

Like some FTers mentioned be4, trying to explain/describe the whole FT thingy to friends is usually telling them a bizarre story... http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/biggrin.gif

Agree with my new findings? http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif

FM Maniac

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- I am a Freqnt Miles Maniac and a Ballroom Dance Miniac :-) -

I have done LDR thing 2.5x !

NEVER AGAIN !

First time was while I lived in NYC, and dated someone (an actor) in LA. Commuted 2-3 x a week for many months until I got dumped, right before he became well known. Built up a LOT of miles.

Second time was while living in LON, I met someone in Lisbon, and we dated for best part of 6 months, until it just died out, but what was funny was that I then started dating someone else I had met in LIS with whom I had become friends - that didn't last long though. http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/frown.gif Hence the 2.5x

A lot of miles, and a lot of pain !

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dog food...whoops I mean snack

KLM Royal Dutch Airlines (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/KLMAirlines)
Virtual Airline Management Group (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AirlineVirtualManagement)

*a QF here and an IB there, here a AA, there a BA, everywhere a ....?

My ex and I did the LDR thing for about 6 months, then he moved to YYC where I was and moved in with me. 2 job transfers later we were still together, but stuck in YHZ. When the job disappeared I had to head back to YYZ for employment and began commuting for interviews etc., he decided to occupy his new spare time by "visiting" other people. In the end the commuting killed us. Sigh!

As a result I don't think I would ever do the long-distance thing again.

Cancel the exorcist. That will teach me not to attempt to date below my AA Plat status. (Of course, next year I slide down to Gold.)

I feel strongly that if a couple can make their LDR work, then nothing is ever going to stop them; of course sometimes NOT being together every day saves the relationship! That said, I am unable to imagine going home daily after work, longing to be in somebody's arms while knowing that he is 3429 miles (http://gc.kls2.com/) away across the Atlantic. My ex bf (for a truly brief moment) suggested at one point that we work out something to see each other on a frequent basis. That did not alarm me, but what saddens me till today is how, despite the initial zest and commitment, the thought of managing a LDR could have actually been the culprit behind the demise of the relationship before it even took off. When we were together, I did rack up many miles on NW flying KLM to AMS, or even to BRU and then catching that slow, lonely train ride up north. He was my first, and now an ex, and it still does hurt after this while. If I could, I would never want to be in the same situation ever again. But with all these travelling and mileage running for status requalification - bless AA - looks set I am going to leave my heart all over but at home! http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/wink.gif

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Spare the miles, spoil the flight!

[This message has been edited by maple (edited 07-26-2002).]

My 2 years LDR was NYC_LON for 18mths then he moved to PAR and I commuted 6 more months. then I joined him in PAR. 3 months later it was over. I'm glad I gave it a chance, although I hope I will not do it again ... And I have been flying so much I nearly got to hate it, despite elite status, lounge and frequent upgrades ...

Yikes, what a touchy subject. Mine was with a man from VRB, unless you have Sabre access you won't find that small town... it is vero beach florida! He needed out of the small town... We did the commute for a while (flying into MCO, driving 1 1/2 hrs to VRB, no commercial airlines fly there)... after a while of doing this, he realized he wanted to be in AUS...thus here we are! http://www.flyertalk.com/travel/fttravel_forum/smile.gif life isn't grand or great, but it's now workable. which brings up the new topic...

Hmmm... I just found this board today, and although this thread had died I'll give it some new life.

For 7 years I had a LDR with a guy in Japan (I met him during the two years I lived in TYO). Luckily, for the first 4 years I did a lot of A-P travel, and I could always fit in a long weekend (or more) in TYO either on the outbound or the return. Other than that I would fly there on my own nickel a couple of times a year (got to know the DTW-NRT routines really well) and would use my miles to upgrade him when he came to this country for vacation. It lasted until early this year, when we both decided to go our ways, but we had one last vacation in the Pacific NW this summer.

Now I'm in another LDR, but this time not nearly so far. He lives in MA, not far from PVD (such a convenient airport! It's a two-minute walk to the rental cars from the terminal, and NW's gate is almost the closest to security. And the TSA's are really pleasant!). We met over Labor Day weekend and have been together five times since then. This time, though, we're already working on moving in together. I've bought a new house, I'm talking with builders about the substantial remodelling necessary, and I hope we can move in together in spring sometime.

Can an LDR work? Yes, but it's clearly second-best in my mind. I want to be with my man when I come home from work, and have weekends together without having to schlep out to DTW one more time. It helps to have lots of miles for Intl upgrades (I can't inagine what DTW-NRT would be like in coach), or to be able to do impromptu trips. My b/f had a family crisis in mid-November, and I was able to book a trip on Thursday, leaving Friday and returning Monday morning using only 22,000 miles, to be with him. It felt really good being able to turn his anguish of mid-day Thursday into delight by Thursday night.

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Don

When I was in Chicago I was dating a guy here in Brooklyn. We managed to see each other every weekend, but it was really difficult for the relationship to develop in any kind of "organic" way.

On the other hand, we were crazy about each other.

Then, about a year after a difficult break-up (probably because of the distance), I got a new job and moved to NY. So, now he (and his new boyfriend) live just a few blocks from me, and he's my closest friend in New York--I think of him (and love him) as though he were my family.

Of course, we were completely wrong for each other as far as a romantic relationship/partnership is concerned. But the distance really interfered with figuring that out.

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by grumpymonkey:


Of course, we were completely wrong for each other as far as a romantic relationship/partnership is concerned. But the distance really interfered with figuring that out.</font>

I think having an LDR and commute blocks the sight of knowing a person well enough. Each time we are too busy commuting and too eager to see another person to figure out or see things clearly if both are suitable for each other. Certain things are just meant to take time to get to know another person better in a timely basis. Most of us also haste to decide whether to move in together or to see each other exclusively.

I think relationships don't work well that way. I've learned my lesson the hard way.
Take whatever how much time to get to know a person is the bottom line.... Short term emotional feelings are just like flings.



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- I am a Freqnt Miles Maniac and a Ballroom Dance Miniac :-) -

<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by FrequentMilesManiac:
I think having an LDR and commute blocks the sight of knowing a person well enough. Each time we are too busy commuting and too eager to see another person to figure out or see things clearly if both are suitable for each other. Certain things are just meant to take time to get to know another person better in a timely basis. Most of us also haste to decide whether to move in together or to see each other exclusively.

I think relationships don't work well that way. I've learned my lesson the hard way.
Take whatever how much time to get to know a person is the bottom line.... Short term emotional feelings are just like flings.
</font>

I think this is the best advice I have ever heard regarding LDRs and relationships in general. I am deinitely giving this one a lot of consideration.

Well I am seriously considering a long distance relationship. I am in YYZ, he is in MSY. We are both very nervous about this as it has worked out bad for both of us in the past.

Next year, if all goes well I can move to the US and get closer, and he is willing to move from MSY as well, within reason (ie not ANC :D ).

Anyone have any recent thoughts / updates on this? I do have enough miles for frequent trips between the 2 cities, until at least I move to the US, or we agree it won't work out.

Funny how flying seems to enter into our lives, especially since we are all FTr's.

I always said I would never do a LDR, until I did... When it comes down to it, it's the person, not the distance. I did a LDR SEA-MCO once, it was the best relationship/happiest time of my life...

I've done a SYD-ITO LDR for a while...it sort of worked out well for a while when we were far away. Theres always cheap flights, and even though I always did the travel from SYD, I used to live near HNL so it was all good. Then we ended up living together and I'm still trying to get myself out from all that. I'd like to say what with all the modern technology its all possible and hunky dory, but its cold and I haven't had a glass of riesling yet so I think I'll say that its totally dependant on you and yer partner. You've said you've been thru it before, so I'm sure you know all the pitfalls and pain it can be. I personally think the main problem with LDR is when you dont know if/when you can move together. So since it looks like you've got that solved...I'd say go for it. If nothing else you could end up with a nice little collection of minature bottles ;)

I always said I wouldn't get into a long-distance relationship, but things are changing.

Right now I'm in the very early stages of seeing someone who lives in a different city. Fortunately he is within a three hour drive... after reading a lot of the posts in this thread the approximately 180 miles between Houston and Austin that have been bugging me don't seem so bad! Even still, it's tough given our busy schedules. He was here in mid-April for our first in-person date which went very well. Unfortunately our busy schedules and his vacation in Europe have forced us to put off getting together again until late May. But I'm still optimistic that we can find a way to try and make this work since we are close enough to spend a lot of weekends together without blowing the budget.

I don't think I'd be interested in starting a relationship out as a long-distance relationship. In the beginning, you feel like you've always got to be together, and I think it's easy to have a distorted view of a relationship for the first few weeks. I think the possibility of this kind of distortion is even more likely in a long distance relationship.

I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment NYC-MDW, but we were together for about three years before he moved. He went for school, after which it was expected that we'd end up together again. This is different, I feel, than expecting to change our lives in order to be together. It's organic in our relationship, so I feel like that takes some pressure off and makes it more comfortable.

Again, I'd be wary of starting a relationship as a LDR.

Again, I'd be weary of starting a relationship as an LDR.

Well I promise it will make you weary :D

...Fortunately he is within a three hour drive... after reading a lot of the posts in this thread the approximately 180 miles between Houston and Austin that have been bugging me don't seem so bad! .....

Not flying??!! FT Heresy! ;)

That said, I love dating out of town guys. Probably some therapy issue there but whatever. Anyway, Mr. NY (a new beau), has said, "It'll be so great when you live on the east coast!" I have tried explaining to him that it is(was! :( ) quicker to fly to SFO than to drive to FVX from NYC. He just made a face.

We will have to have the "Honey, I'm A FlyerTalker" talk at some point, I imagine. Maybe seating in F on our first overseas flight together? That'll help, huh?

Just date an airline employee like I did!! I was living in Pittsburgh and moving to Winston-Salem and he lived in San Diego. The first year of travel wasn't so difficult because I was in school and he could visit often. Then I finally moved there when my internship was over.


My job requires a lot of travel, so an LDR wouldn't be a problem. For me anyway. But I've met lots of guys who can't handle the travel. Their loss.

Not flying??!! FT Heresy! ;)


I know, I know. ;)

Actually driving to Austin from Houston is frequently faster than flying, especially if you live on the west side of Houston. By the time I drive 30-45 minutes to the airport, park, check in, wait for the flight, fly over (about 30 minutes) and deplane, the 2.5-3 hour drive is faster and cheaper.

Long distance....short distance....who cares??!! When you're as old as I am, ANY relationship is a GOOD relationship! LOL!

So, any gay FTers interested in a relationship with a short, fat, old retired Navy chief?? (You may treat this question as a rhetorical one if you so desire.)

I know, not really on-topic -- Just attribute my rant to a mini Senior Moment.

(Grin)

Way back when I was living in the US ( early 90's ) in the big apple, I met this wonderful guy on a trip out to LA. He was a struggling actor, and absolutely gorgeous as well as a really great guy. After a good few months of my commuting from NYC to LA (3x a week - minimum) to see him, and just when I was about to ask him to make a commitment, I got unceremoniously dumped by telephone.

Although I've never seen him since, at least not in person, but I do see him regularly on TV every week for years after that.

It must have been true love, flying to LA for the evening 2-3 a week.

I built up a lot miles on NW then.

When I met my significant other 10 years ago he lived in EJA and I lived in AMS. Now we are happily living together for 9 years in AMS. Still visiting EJA almost every year.

So, any gay FTers interested in a relationship with a short, fat, old retired Navy chief?? (You may treat this question as a rhetorical one if you so desire.)

How good is your pension ;) :D

Not sure if this qualifies as an LDR more like a M(edium)DR: LON-DUB.
We were originally living together in BFS for a year then he moved to DUB and I moved to LON. It works for us. Seems to me that you do need to be together for some time to find out whether the relationship works or not. After that, LDR-ing is less of an issue. This being said, I would find it difficult if he was on another continent. But DUB-LON is sufficiently close (and affordable) to fly on a regular basis.

Not sure if this qualifies as an LDR more like a M(edium)DR: LON-DUB.


Yeah, my experience was an MDR scenario too, LON-CDG in this case, with a gorgeous frenchman, who eventually broke my heart.. :(

We did alternate weekends, I flew to CDG (always on BD, and after a couple of months even the BD FA's knew who I was and the purpose of my regular visits :o )
Oh well, it lasted just over six months. He never flew on his trips to LON, and instead always took the eurostar and said it was better than flying... :eek: I should have known it was doomed from the start.

And he broke up, by leaving a voicemail message when my mobile was switched off. And the reason my phone was off: I was in the air on a BD flight to CDG... :mad: :mad: :( :( Does this count as the worst break-up ever or what...

Go for it! I did 2 years BOS-LAX before moving to LAX to join my beau...we will celebrate our 6th anniversary in Sept! I must admit that I always flew AA 767's in either F or C as I had an "upgrade" source based at BOS...can't say that I could have made 2 years on the current 737 &757's they are now flying!

.

And he broke up, by leaving a voicemail message when my mobile was switched off. And the reason my phone was off: I was in the air on a BD flight to CDG... :mad: :mad: :( :( Does this count as the worst break-up ever or what...

How about being met at the gate ( in the old days ;) ) - with how about you take the next flight back :mad:

My parents have managed to successfully swing an LDR for the last 10 years. Mom lives in YVR and my step-father in YYC. Since they're both retired, they end up spending about half the year together, mostly travelling, but never for more than three or four weeks at a time. They stay together just long enough to get on each other's nerves and stay apart long enough to pine for each other's company.

Like my mom says, the ideal mate is like the international fishing limit - 200 miles out.

:)

Mike

How about being met at the gate ( in the old days ;) ) - with how about you take the next flight back :mad:

Yeah, same here. As soon as I heard the phone message, I changed to the next flight back, which actually was the same BD plane returning to LHR with the same crew. And they were kind of surprised to see me again so soon. Well, i told them what had happened, and one of the fa's (really cute, i might add :p ) tried to cheer me up all flight long. Anyways, didn't join the mile high club unfortunately that time, but he did make me happily get thru about a 1/3rd of the bar contents on that 1 hour flight... :o
Mind you, i did get the fa's number. but that's another story altogether... :D ;)

It seems like I NEVER meet anybody I like near to where I live. Probably because it's the middle of nowhere.

A few years ago I developed a great summer romance with a guy. We were both in Tucson for a six-week seminar, and both returned to home bases after (he, Hartford; me, western PA). I was only able to make one visit after, and things had already deteriorated. When he dumped me shortly thereafter, his comment was, "You're just not f**king here!" That was really important to him. It's less so to me, I think because of what FrequentMilesManiac said: we here like to travel. We're a sub-species.

Most recently, I've become a pass rider on CO thanks to the largesse of a dear friend. I met a cool guy in Atlanta--who was ALSO a pass rider, on DL! Sounds perfect, right? After one return trip to Atlanta, he said he doubted anything could develop because of the distance thing, and he just stopped contacting me despite paradoxically insisting that we would get together again. (Maybe he just didn't like me as well as I thought he did :rolleyes: )

Somebody told me once that I've had a lot of practice maintaining relationships over significant time and distance, as I manage to keep close friendships going with people all over the country. So it comes easily to me. It guess it doesn't for other people.

Well after a lengthy conversation today, the long-distance thing is not going to happen at this time. Mr. MSY is not as travel saavy as me and is nervous about the whole LDR thing. So it is decided to not forge ahead into that zone at this time. We will probably still visit each other, and definitely will remain good friends, just nothing more for now.

When I counsel people at church about such matters I always tell them, it wasn't time, when it is you will know it. Funny how the words don't bring me as much comfort right now as I had of hoped they would.

FYI he read this forum and your thoughts - he feels we are a negative bunch, definitely against LDR's even though we are the flying type.

Well after a lengthy conversation today, the long-distance thing is not going to happen at this time. Mr. MSY is not as travel saavy as me and is nervous about the whole LDR thing. So it is decided to not forge ahead into that zone at this time. We will probably still visit each other, and definitely will remain good friends, just nothing more for now.

When I counsel people at church about such matters I always tell them, it wasn't time, when it is you will know it. Funny how the words don't bring me as much comfort right now as I had of hoped they would.

FYI he read this forum and your thoughts - he feels we are a negative bunch, definitely against LDR's even though we are the flying type.

Sorry to hear that it isn't going to work out MapleLeaf. It's always hard when you have to face the realization that a new relationship isn't going to be what you had hoped it would. Lord knows I've been there enough times that I should be a pro at dealing with it but it still hurts when it happens. But hopefully one day soon it will be time and long distance or not, it will work.

11 years in an LDR and still going. I get 7-10 days in Seattle a months and then it's back to work in Anchorage, Alaska. I think we'd kill each other if we lived together full time. I think the story of the retired couple is so true. Just when you're getting on each others' nerves, you get a break and then absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Oddly enough, I miss our two feline children (their names are Harry and Peggy and in human years the kids are older than we are) more than I miss the spousal unit. I have, singlehandedly, kept the gay porn industry in business. Well, that's not the only thing I've done singlehandedly. :o

It does work, but it's more difficult in so many respects. It also requires three times as much trust--unless it's an open relationship, and I was always far too possessive for that.

We don't really have a LDR. Been together 10+ years now. As soon as we met, 8 months later my partner was offered a job in Haiti (1994). Was there for 18 months but we managed to see each other every 3 months. Had a few nice Caribbean vacations. Then he was offered Bosnia (1995/96) in which I went along and worked as well. A great year, but for the first 6 months he was in Hungary and I was in the middle of Bosnia (Tuzla). Again great vacations in Europe and Israel. Then it was back to the US for the both of us for a few years. Now it's been a little over a year and he's been in Iraq. This assignment is a bit tougher due to the environment.

I guess in some ways you could call it a LDR and we only get to see each other every four months. We rely heavily on phone and e-mails. And care packages from the US. We make it work since we know that it's all for our future and will enable us to retire early and adopt.

It's not for everyone. But if you really want something to work, you have to try harder. To me this is worth it in the short run.

Good to read some similar situations.
:)

victor - I was just wondering about your handle - if its a combination of first and last names, would you happen to be Thai? I'm Thai but have been in the US since I was 2 yrs old.

Yes peteropny I'm Thai and have been here since 3...sawasdee khrap! Nice to meet a fellow Thai...though my Thai is well...not fluent!

Yes peteropny I'm Thai and have been here since 3...sawasdee khrap! Nice to meet a fellow Thai...though my Thai is well...not fluent!

sawadee krup - well this makes at least 3 gay Thai FTers!!!

Victor --

Nice to see another gay Houstonian in this FT forum. Welcome!

Steven

Generally speaking, I think there is a big difference between being long distance from the start vs. long distance over time. The fun of a new relationship is getting to know that person. If you are in the same city to start, that can develop naturally and over time. It also allows you to maintain your own life. No need to stop everything to just be with the new person.

Like my mom says, the ideal mate is like the international fishing limit - 200 miles out.

A friend's mom credits the longevity in their marriage to frequent work separations and partial loss of hearing. :)

Just date an airline employee like I did!! I was living in Pittsburgh and moving to Winston-Salem and he lived in San Diego. The first year of travel wasn't so difficult because I was in school and he could visit often. Then I finally moved there when my internship was over.

I was on a trip to visit friends in MOB (yes, Alabama of all places) for Mardi Gras and met a guy in to visit them from MSP. Since he had pass travel he flew to visit me most of the time for the next few months, but I went up there to visit a few times as well. A few months later (and having been laid off) he moved down to RDU, and now we're looking at the potential of moving to somewhere else. So far this calendar year, we've gotten about 30K miles of tourist travel (mine paid, his still pass travel). Usually we fly different airlines independently and meet up at the destination. He's probably one of the few people that I could have met who knew more about the airlines than I did. :)