JetCity
Nov 25, 03, 6:10 am
Friday night in Shanghai again proved to be my willing accomplice in creating the kind sleep depravation I find so useful in shortening the long transpacific slog back to the USA. For those of you in the know about Shanghai, it’s surely no surprise that she’s a city willing to go on partying past the crack of dawn as long as you have RMB to spend, can speak a little of the local lingo, and have the stamina to carry-on carrying on.
So, it was in this party induced daze, high on Shanghai’s charms, that I rolled back into the Hyatt out of the Saturday morning twilight to be greeted with knowing smiles by the usual team of towering Chinese basketball players who double as Hyatt’s bellmen (bouncers?). A short connection on the 54th floor lobby took me to my room amongst the clouds on floor # 85 … then, face-first into the pillows thinking (ever so briefly) about how all my vertical travel inside the Hyatt ought to be worth a FF mile or two, not to mention a connection bonus … but I digress.
Fortunately, having been down this road to perdition before, I was wise enough to plan an evening departure to the USA via Air Canada at 6:15pm thereby allowing me some time (not enough) to recover from the previous night’s hell raising activities. At 3:15pm I hailed a beaten old VW Santana taxi for the 45 minute ride to PuDong. Practicing my Chinese with the driver I discovered, much to my dismay, that all week I’d been telling people that I learned to speak Chinese at “the Big Water” instead of “the University.” I can hear my colleagues now … yeah, he got his MBA at Big Water University… must be right next to Big Whiskey Bottle University. Stupid American.
Rolling up to the terminal, I was reminded again how little things, like tone or spelling can make a big difference in communication and first impressions … as one big overhead sign directed me towards DEMESTIC DEPARTURES. A double take confirmed it was not my foggy vision but an actual GIANT SIZED misspelling attached to Shanghai’s shining new gateway to the world. OK, at least I now felt even with the Chinese nation … yeah that’s right China … I can’t speak in Chinese but you can’t spell in English! So there!
Stepping into the terminal I quickly found myself at the AC ExecutiveFirst check in, which I discovered to be manned exclusively by United employees … uh oh. Much as I expected, when I asked to change my Air Canada routing on my ANA Issued (in Japanese Yen) ticket, a team staff meeting had to be called to see if anyone had a clue how to accomplish what I was asking. Amidst the chaos, I excused myself to attend to another of those superfluous activities of filling in SARS forms and walking past the Infrared Heat Detector (which no-one was looking at) to get my ‘official’ stamp by four or five very official looking ‘stampers’ there to verify my non-radioactivity. Come to think of it, the Shanghai-Vancouver flight was the unofficial SARS express, was it not?
Back at the check in counter it was confirmed that the Shanghai team didn’t have a clue how to help me with a routing change and I should try my luck in Vancouver. At least incompetence in Asia continued to wrapped with sincerity, grace, and a smile. In the US, I get incompetence and a helping of kiss-my-as* attitude to go with it. OK, I thought, I have no choice. At least my Canadian was better than my Chinese, eh?
Before heading through immigration, a quick trip to the bank to change RMB into USD created another of those little power trips that one has to learn to deal with in the PRC. Handing over my last 600RMB I was asked to produce the receipt which verified where I actually received my original RMB. Unable to produce the receipt, the ‘official’ badge-wearing clerk at the counter barked at me ‘no receipt – no exchange’, while she tried to hold back her smirk … oh, I could tell she felt the rush of power that her position could bring her … would I cry or beg for her assistance? Nope … about face and to the gate I went. Save it for Mildred from Des Moines.
Approaching the immigration area reveals another of what appears to be a stupid make work activity. Now when you buy a departure tax slip, you don’t actually get the slip like you used to. Rather, now you pay to get a paper card that you have to feed into a machine 25 feet away (watched over by a legion of machine watchers) that gives you the tax slip. I have absolutely no idea why they recently put this extra step in the departure process but I did manage to entertain myself thinking about why this was done … perhaps, someone at the ticket reading machine factory knows how to show the airport buyers a really good time in Shanghai. Perhaps they like to frustrate the analytic industrial engineer in each of us. Who knows.
Immigration was again super fast as there were no shortage of immigration agents. This experience has been consistent for me across China at many gateways (Beijing, Xian, Harbin, Shanghai). The Chinese simply don’t skimp on immigrations inspectors, save maybe the morning rush in Beijing. I would love to take the head of Narita’s immigration department to China to show them how 3rd-world Japan looks in comparison … man, I really hate Narita … what a slow moving, undersized, understaffed, hell hole … but again I digress.
Once through immigration, I made my way, as directed, to the ANA Signet business class lounge which was a mob scene. It was hot, there was no where to sit, it was dirty, and there was not much to read … exit stage-right and on down to the first class lounge, which was essentially the same deal only there was plenty of place to sit and it was a bit cooler given the fact that the human-flesh to air ratio was further away from 1:1. Producing my UA *G card got me an instantaneous denial of entry … “I’m sorry sir, but new policy requires all UA *G members to use the business class lounge.” OK then, I pull the trump card. "Here’s my AC *G card." I say ... “Oh” the agent says, “go right ahead, Air Canada is OK”. I guess it is true everyone likes Canadians.
It didn’t take long to get bored in the F/C lounge. Nothing much to read, empty alcohol bottles, breakfast food of fruit and danish, albeit fresh, on the table. Again exit stage-right to wander around the near deserted terminal.
Considering the importance of Feng Shui in Chinese culture, I'm surprised by the design of the PuDong Airport Terminal. Walking through it gives one the feeling of being inside a giant pin-cushion. Piercing needles from the ceiling pointing down at you everywhere. The entire structure seems to be ‘strung’ together waiting to unravel … maybe it’s just me, but for a new airport there is something ‘stressful’ about PVG’s design. My hangover certainly didn’t help this impression either.
Boarding AC#038 was uneventful, although there were no separate boarding lines for business class. On the positive side, the 767 was a quick load given its comparatively small passenger volume, but on the down side, the entire parade of humanity had to shuffle past my seat on the way to the back. Another full plane … I believe there is no such thing as a non-full plane going anywhere into, within, or out of Chinese Airspace. Such animals simply don’t exist.
A pair of Air Canada’s best grandmothers were on duty this day, and the service from the start was attentive and professional. Would I say graceful and demure, a balance of aesthetic beauty, deference, service, and fluidity of motion? … ahhh HECK NO … not even close. Once the aircraft door was closed, the charms of Asia were sealed outside the aircraft. Welcome back, I thought, to the world of the overweight, the world Ice Hockey, the world of 22oz steaks, the world of 8 passenger SUVs, the world of the kiss-my-a** attitude. It wasn’t long before I began my return to western-reality depression.
Champagne, water and lemonade (spiked with vodka was the suggested serving) were served, in glass, prior to departure. Headsets, amenity kits, hot towels, and a 1 liter bottle of water were also distributed. Next came Canadian and Chinese newspapers. All were delivered promptly and with professionalism.
Shortly thereafter dinner was served on plates by hand … not by tray/cart like on UA. The overall presentation was very good. Although we still got plastic knives (how stupid).
Dinner consisted of the following (sorry but, I didn’t copy the entire menu).
1. Appetizers - Two small hors’derves. One was fish one was meat. Nothing special, actually unimpressive.
2. Choice of: Sole, Pork Curry, Duck Breast in Cherry Preserve – I chose the Pork Curry; chunks of pork in a curry sauce over rice with hot chilis. Edible.
3. Cheese/Fruit – Standard fare. Nothing special.
4. Aperitifs/Desert – Two very rich looking deserts. One white chocolate the other a tart of some sort. No comment.
After dinner, sleep depravation caught up with me as planned. Recline, pillow, blanket, noise canceling headsets (Philipps SBCHN-100s – my own – crap compared to Bose), eyeshades, then … sweet unconsciousness.
I awoke with 1 hour until landing in Vancouver, successfully having reduced the 9h:45m flight time to a mere two and a half hours of consciousness. The flight’s matrons were quick to check and see if I wanted breakfast even though the serving had almost been completed. I also discovered that my empty 1-liter bottle of water had been replaced with a full one during the evening. Again a sign of consistently professional service. The choices offered varied from omelet, to sausage, to fruit or congee. I have no complaints on the quantity of quality of the fruit I received.
Landing at Vancouver and making a USA connection is really a neat process. USA connecting passengers make sharp left hand turn before reaching the massive Canadian immigration lines and enter a dedicated US Immigration/Customs area located inside the Vancouver Airport. The two US Immigration Agents on duty had no line and I was through US customs in about 45 seconds … it had to be my fastest clearing on immigration ever … anywhere. Considering the 6:15pm departure time from PVG and the great US Immigration Process at YVR, AC#038 is now my number one preference for flights back from China to the USA.
Bags arrived shortly thereafter and then I went to the Air Canada agent to talk about the routing change that could not be handled in Shanghai. Well, since this was a ticketing issue, I had to go to the ticket counter which meant I had to go back and clear Canadian Customs. Uh oh, my spider senses told me this could be a mess but I proceeded nonetheless.
Because I was already in the US Immigration Zone, I had to go with the agent down a service elevator which took me right into the “selected for cavity search” area of Canadian customs. I kid you not. I was in a line with people who looked like they just got off the USAF express from Kabul. The agents were going through everything … even squeezing bottles of toothpaste to verify the authenticity of their contents. There was no way back … oh no … what had I done.
The look of panic on my face was recognized by the AC agent who was escorting me and, much to my surprise, she took it upon herself to get me special attention ... and not the kind that involves K-Y, if you know what I mean. Whew. A quick explanation as to why I was there got me jumped in front of the queue and a quick and professional entry into Canada. Oh mommy. I promise I’ll always be a good boy in Immigration-land because that secondary inspection area looked like the 5th ring of hell.
Once in the YVR terminal area, I was taken to an Air Canada agent who simply looked at my ticket, hand wrote my new destination on my flight coupon, printed by boarding pass and off I went. I must admit I was simply amazed at the professionalism and efficiency of the process … the only place I’ve ever seen anything like it is at Southwest Airlines, where no hassles are the order of business. Based on my experience with Air Canada previously, I think I had a very lucky day … but nonetheless, I was impressed.
As for Vancouver Airport, it gets my vote as the world’s best. It’s beautiful, clean, open, not too big, not too crowded, and has lots of good restaurants, shops and pubs. A quick meal of exquisitely prepared Nabeyaki Udon at the Hamami Japanese restaurant recharged my batteries and I was off for the USA after another super-quick and efficient re-clearance of US customs.
The rest of my trip, on Air Canada to Seattle, was short and uneventful. All in all, I give a thumbs-up recommendation to fly AC transpacific in BusinessFirst.
- Pics to be posted later -
[This message has been edited by JetCity (edited Nov 25, 2003).]
So, it was in this party induced daze, high on Shanghai’s charms, that I rolled back into the Hyatt out of the Saturday morning twilight to be greeted with knowing smiles by the usual team of towering Chinese basketball players who double as Hyatt’s bellmen (bouncers?). A short connection on the 54th floor lobby took me to my room amongst the clouds on floor # 85 … then, face-first into the pillows thinking (ever so briefly) about how all my vertical travel inside the Hyatt ought to be worth a FF mile or two, not to mention a connection bonus … but I digress.
Fortunately, having been down this road to perdition before, I was wise enough to plan an evening departure to the USA via Air Canada at 6:15pm thereby allowing me some time (not enough) to recover from the previous night’s hell raising activities. At 3:15pm I hailed a beaten old VW Santana taxi for the 45 minute ride to PuDong. Practicing my Chinese with the driver I discovered, much to my dismay, that all week I’d been telling people that I learned to speak Chinese at “the Big Water” instead of “the University.” I can hear my colleagues now … yeah, he got his MBA at Big Water University… must be right next to Big Whiskey Bottle University. Stupid American.
Rolling up to the terminal, I was reminded again how little things, like tone or spelling can make a big difference in communication and first impressions … as one big overhead sign directed me towards DEMESTIC DEPARTURES. A double take confirmed it was not my foggy vision but an actual GIANT SIZED misspelling attached to Shanghai’s shining new gateway to the world. OK, at least I now felt even with the Chinese nation … yeah that’s right China … I can’t speak in Chinese but you can’t spell in English! So there!
Stepping into the terminal I quickly found myself at the AC ExecutiveFirst check in, which I discovered to be manned exclusively by United employees … uh oh. Much as I expected, when I asked to change my Air Canada routing on my ANA Issued (in Japanese Yen) ticket, a team staff meeting had to be called to see if anyone had a clue how to accomplish what I was asking. Amidst the chaos, I excused myself to attend to another of those superfluous activities of filling in SARS forms and walking past the Infrared Heat Detector (which no-one was looking at) to get my ‘official’ stamp by four or five very official looking ‘stampers’ there to verify my non-radioactivity. Come to think of it, the Shanghai-Vancouver flight was the unofficial SARS express, was it not?
Back at the check in counter it was confirmed that the Shanghai team didn’t have a clue how to help me with a routing change and I should try my luck in Vancouver. At least incompetence in Asia continued to wrapped with sincerity, grace, and a smile. In the US, I get incompetence and a helping of kiss-my-as* attitude to go with it. OK, I thought, I have no choice. At least my Canadian was better than my Chinese, eh?
Before heading through immigration, a quick trip to the bank to change RMB into USD created another of those little power trips that one has to learn to deal with in the PRC. Handing over my last 600RMB I was asked to produce the receipt which verified where I actually received my original RMB. Unable to produce the receipt, the ‘official’ badge-wearing clerk at the counter barked at me ‘no receipt – no exchange’, while she tried to hold back her smirk … oh, I could tell she felt the rush of power that her position could bring her … would I cry or beg for her assistance? Nope … about face and to the gate I went. Save it for Mildred from Des Moines.
Approaching the immigration area reveals another of what appears to be a stupid make work activity. Now when you buy a departure tax slip, you don’t actually get the slip like you used to. Rather, now you pay to get a paper card that you have to feed into a machine 25 feet away (watched over by a legion of machine watchers) that gives you the tax slip. I have absolutely no idea why they recently put this extra step in the departure process but I did manage to entertain myself thinking about why this was done … perhaps, someone at the ticket reading machine factory knows how to show the airport buyers a really good time in Shanghai. Perhaps they like to frustrate the analytic industrial engineer in each of us. Who knows.
Immigration was again super fast as there were no shortage of immigration agents. This experience has been consistent for me across China at many gateways (Beijing, Xian, Harbin, Shanghai). The Chinese simply don’t skimp on immigrations inspectors, save maybe the morning rush in Beijing. I would love to take the head of Narita’s immigration department to China to show them how 3rd-world Japan looks in comparison … man, I really hate Narita … what a slow moving, undersized, understaffed, hell hole … but again I digress.
Once through immigration, I made my way, as directed, to the ANA Signet business class lounge which was a mob scene. It was hot, there was no where to sit, it was dirty, and there was not much to read … exit stage-right and on down to the first class lounge, which was essentially the same deal only there was plenty of place to sit and it was a bit cooler given the fact that the human-flesh to air ratio was further away from 1:1. Producing my UA *G card got me an instantaneous denial of entry … “I’m sorry sir, but new policy requires all UA *G members to use the business class lounge.” OK then, I pull the trump card. "Here’s my AC *G card." I say ... “Oh” the agent says, “go right ahead, Air Canada is OK”. I guess it is true everyone likes Canadians.
It didn’t take long to get bored in the F/C lounge. Nothing much to read, empty alcohol bottles, breakfast food of fruit and danish, albeit fresh, on the table. Again exit stage-right to wander around the near deserted terminal.
Considering the importance of Feng Shui in Chinese culture, I'm surprised by the design of the PuDong Airport Terminal. Walking through it gives one the feeling of being inside a giant pin-cushion. Piercing needles from the ceiling pointing down at you everywhere. The entire structure seems to be ‘strung’ together waiting to unravel … maybe it’s just me, but for a new airport there is something ‘stressful’ about PVG’s design. My hangover certainly didn’t help this impression either.
Boarding AC#038 was uneventful, although there were no separate boarding lines for business class. On the positive side, the 767 was a quick load given its comparatively small passenger volume, but on the down side, the entire parade of humanity had to shuffle past my seat on the way to the back. Another full plane … I believe there is no such thing as a non-full plane going anywhere into, within, or out of Chinese Airspace. Such animals simply don’t exist.
A pair of Air Canada’s best grandmothers were on duty this day, and the service from the start was attentive and professional. Would I say graceful and demure, a balance of aesthetic beauty, deference, service, and fluidity of motion? … ahhh HECK NO … not even close. Once the aircraft door was closed, the charms of Asia were sealed outside the aircraft. Welcome back, I thought, to the world of the overweight, the world Ice Hockey, the world of 22oz steaks, the world of 8 passenger SUVs, the world of the kiss-my-a** attitude. It wasn’t long before I began my return to western-reality depression.
Champagne, water and lemonade (spiked with vodka was the suggested serving) were served, in glass, prior to departure. Headsets, amenity kits, hot towels, and a 1 liter bottle of water were also distributed. Next came Canadian and Chinese newspapers. All were delivered promptly and with professionalism.
Shortly thereafter dinner was served on plates by hand … not by tray/cart like on UA. The overall presentation was very good. Although we still got plastic knives (how stupid).
Dinner consisted of the following (sorry but, I didn’t copy the entire menu).
1. Appetizers - Two small hors’derves. One was fish one was meat. Nothing special, actually unimpressive.
2. Choice of: Sole, Pork Curry, Duck Breast in Cherry Preserve – I chose the Pork Curry; chunks of pork in a curry sauce over rice with hot chilis. Edible.
3. Cheese/Fruit – Standard fare. Nothing special.
4. Aperitifs/Desert – Two very rich looking deserts. One white chocolate the other a tart of some sort. No comment.
After dinner, sleep depravation caught up with me as planned. Recline, pillow, blanket, noise canceling headsets (Philipps SBCHN-100s – my own – crap compared to Bose), eyeshades, then … sweet unconsciousness.
I awoke with 1 hour until landing in Vancouver, successfully having reduced the 9h:45m flight time to a mere two and a half hours of consciousness. The flight’s matrons were quick to check and see if I wanted breakfast even though the serving had almost been completed. I also discovered that my empty 1-liter bottle of water had been replaced with a full one during the evening. Again a sign of consistently professional service. The choices offered varied from omelet, to sausage, to fruit or congee. I have no complaints on the quantity of quality of the fruit I received.
Landing at Vancouver and making a USA connection is really a neat process. USA connecting passengers make sharp left hand turn before reaching the massive Canadian immigration lines and enter a dedicated US Immigration/Customs area located inside the Vancouver Airport. The two US Immigration Agents on duty had no line and I was through US customs in about 45 seconds … it had to be my fastest clearing on immigration ever … anywhere. Considering the 6:15pm departure time from PVG and the great US Immigration Process at YVR, AC#038 is now my number one preference for flights back from China to the USA.
Bags arrived shortly thereafter and then I went to the Air Canada agent to talk about the routing change that could not be handled in Shanghai. Well, since this was a ticketing issue, I had to go to the ticket counter which meant I had to go back and clear Canadian Customs. Uh oh, my spider senses told me this could be a mess but I proceeded nonetheless.
Because I was already in the US Immigration Zone, I had to go with the agent down a service elevator which took me right into the “selected for cavity search” area of Canadian customs. I kid you not. I was in a line with people who looked like they just got off the USAF express from Kabul. The agents were going through everything … even squeezing bottles of toothpaste to verify the authenticity of their contents. There was no way back … oh no … what had I done.
The look of panic on my face was recognized by the AC agent who was escorting me and, much to my surprise, she took it upon herself to get me special attention ... and not the kind that involves K-Y, if you know what I mean. Whew. A quick explanation as to why I was there got me jumped in front of the queue and a quick and professional entry into Canada. Oh mommy. I promise I’ll always be a good boy in Immigration-land because that secondary inspection area looked like the 5th ring of hell.
Once in the YVR terminal area, I was taken to an Air Canada agent who simply looked at my ticket, hand wrote my new destination on my flight coupon, printed by boarding pass and off I went. I must admit I was simply amazed at the professionalism and efficiency of the process … the only place I’ve ever seen anything like it is at Southwest Airlines, where no hassles are the order of business. Based on my experience with Air Canada previously, I think I had a very lucky day … but nonetheless, I was impressed.
As for Vancouver Airport, it gets my vote as the world’s best. It’s beautiful, clean, open, not too big, not too crowded, and has lots of good restaurants, shops and pubs. A quick meal of exquisitely prepared Nabeyaki Udon at the Hamami Japanese restaurant recharged my batteries and I was off for the USA after another super-quick and efficient re-clearance of US customs.
The rest of my trip, on Air Canada to Seattle, was short and uneventful. All in all, I give a thumbs-up recommendation to fly AC transpacific in BusinessFirst.
- Pics to be posted later -
[This message has been edited by JetCity (edited Nov 25, 2003).]