imkeww
Apr 1, 02, 12:46 pm
Let's preface this with my incredible UAX experiences:
24 MAR 02 EWR-IAD UA 7527 BR
FRJ (D328-200) N451FJ Y-Class 8C
The flight to visit my friend on the East Coast was an uneventful redeye SFO-EWR on UA 98 in the middle seat 10B of the Economy Plus section of N504UA, a 757-200. Nothing to report except it was my first time flying into EWR.
Coming back home through EWR, I had more time to explore the airport. My flight was scheduled to leave at 0742, but it was delayed to 0900. I took the funky AirTrain from Terminal A to explore Continental’s stomping grounds – its “Global Gateway”. The new international/large aircraft concourse was complete but still underutilized in the morning rush, with the only flights using the nascent facility being the packed flights to South Florida. I was pretty impressed with the airiness of the new terminal, but that’s pretty much par for the course with all the new airport terminals worldwide adopting what architects call International Style: buildings chock full of vaulted glass and steel beams.
Trekking back to Terminal A (and bypassing the nondescript B), I was amused by the monorail’s strange design which places people in small compartments, different than other rail movers. Coming back to the security line, it was sad not being able to bypass the “sheer joy” of security by going through a dedicated employee checkpoint. Sigh.
When I finally passed through (after the first of what was to be the first of many security screeners in different airports fondling my precious laptop) I saw the little Dodo Jet scurrying by at a blistering taxi speed. I almost did the dance of joy right there, but decided to withhold my glee until I could compliment the flight crew on what a gorgeous and foxy lady they had brought me. I eagerly became the first one to board and entered the cabin with the lust that only an airplane nut has for an airplane that he has never flown on before. I almost forgot to breathe; the aircraft had the new carpeting and bulkheads. For an interior junkie like me, Décor 5.6 appearing on regionals is orgasmic.
I entered the cabin and smelled the glory that is new plane smell. After the F/A pleasantly welcomed me, I immediately notified her that I was excited to be on the Dornier (en Francais please) 328-200. The captain’s ears perked up as he finished his walk-around and entered the cabin behind me. He assumed that I was a pilot for SkyWest (not the first time I’ve been mistaken for one!), and after I told him I already liked the cabin better than the similarly sized EMB-120, quipped that he liked SkyWest better than his similarly sized airline (ACA). I love airline humor. I was assigned 4B, but was told to take any seat as far back as possible because we were lightly loaded with only nine out of 32 seats occupied, with eight of those being non-revenue space available asses!
I walked back and plopped my arse down in 8C, a window in the 1-2 configuration. I made my selection carefully, as I wanted a view unobstructed by the top-wing mounted engines. Telling you the cabin of the Dork Jet is extremely comfortable is an understatement. Everything about the cabin was generously designed, with cabin height, seat width, and aisle space being exceptional for any regional aircraft. The aisle is recessed, there are two entry exit areas (one in the back for food service carts to enter the galley), two emergency exits rows with extra legroom, a large lavatory, and a nice “private” section of seating opposite the lavatory in back.
The most amazing thing about the aircraft was the cabin width. It allows for 18” wide seats (the same as on A320, 767/777 equipment), and indeed, the United Express standard-leather seat covers adorned a seat remarkably contoured like United’s 777 seat. With a full size traytable and 32” of pitch, I found the 328Jet to be more comfortable than a 757 even, and would gladly take one across the Atlantic if I could.
Performance wise, she is a slow cruiser, but that is not a problem considering the mission she was designed for, and the mission ACA is using the RJ for is short-range hops along the eastern seaboard. It takes off like a champ; takeoff from EWR lasted a brief thirteen seconds, and climb was spectacular and smooth. It had a lot of get up and go, which surprised me given the tiny appearance of the engines, which looked more like hairdryers than anything. The Dornier Jet also has some unique features:
The bulkhead exit row seats 1BC have shoulder harnesses The announcements are electronic (pre-recorded) and automated HUGE windows (rivaling 777 size and unheard of in any regional plane)
The announcements took care of most of the F/A’s P.A. work, but she was very eager to serve us, very proud of this new plane, and spent most of the flight chatting with me and two other non-revs about how great the plane was. She must really love the plane too, because it was the first time I had ever seen an F/A wipe her cabin’s windows for our viewing pleasure. One can only hope that more regionals will take the FRJ.
26 MAR 02 IAD-JFK UA 7260 BR
Junkstream 41 N808UE Y-Class 9A
Now I know why the BAe Jetstream is feared and despised. It was an incredibly uncomfortable, noisy, and substandard regional aircraft. We were to catch the JFK-EZE flight after IAD-MIA went out completely full, and were worried we’d miss even that connection because very low fog at IAD left only one runway active. With tons of other UAX planes in line ahead of us, as well as the last round of European heavy departures, it would be tight. Nevertheless, we made it and had quite an adventure on the way.
The J41 climbed up into the bumpy clouds and was quite a turbulent ride. It took a very long while to get to our cruising altitudes at FL150 and FL170, and it was so bumpy that I got airsick for the first time. We poached multiple air pockets, which prevented another enthusiastic (she was big on the J41’s uniqueness) ACA F/A from providing a full beverage service. Instead, we were passed around bottles of water along with UA’s classic cheese and pretzel mix.
Two jolly German men, tourists from Dusseldorf, were behind me, laughing about the turbulence the whole time until it started to look serious. I shouted “Schnell, schnell!” as our little prop struggled to break the cloud cover, which made them laugh some more (I think they were full of Heineken) and exclaim “sheitze! Sheitze!” with excitement. The graduate student girls across the aisle from me, overhearing my UAX employee conversation with the F/A, asked me if this was normal. I comforted them saying it was typical in low-altitude regional flights to experience greater than average turbulence, until we hit a real violent air pocket which shook the cabin and jostled us out of our seats a little, upon which I said, “now THAT’S not normal…”
The saving grace of the J41 was its hilarious and peculiar lavatory configuration. The flight attendant sits in the galley in back, with the jumpseat attached to the rear bulkhead wall. The wall to the left of the jumpseat is actually a door, which opens up revealing a toilet-in-a-closet, and closes off the galley. The rear galley turns into the bathroom! Quite disgusting and a sickening concept, but so weird it was worth some laughs. At least the beverages are served out of a separate, non-galley beverage unit up front.
NOW FOR THE THE INTL REPORT
These flights were special to me because they were my first flights in United’s international premium classes. Even though I am not the elite traveler that UA desires on these routes, I felt like I received the superior service expected by one.
26 MAR 02 JFK-EZE UA 979
767-300ER N659UA C-Class 5F
It was a short wait from our IAD connection to board the 10:20 Buenos Aires flight. United had suspended this route for a couple of months due to low loads, but recently brought it back. It has cut two daily frequencies from its premier Latin American destinations, GRU and EZE. It dropped JFK-GRU and decided instead to rely on 777 service from ORD-GRU for those JFK passengers who couldn’t connect on the MIA flight. It dropped ORD-EZE in favor of 763 service from JFK-EZE, given that this route has more O&D traffic. Connecting traffic to Argentina has dwindled since the country’s major economic turmoil from the new year concerning the devaluation of the peso.
It wasn’t surprising that the flight seemed deserted from the boarding lounge, which by the way looked great. BA is still in the nearly done renovating its facility at T7. The United areas are much nicer now. Over at the ticket counters, the backdrop walling has been replaced by raw granite and slate stone slabs, one top of which large, metallic United block letters are positioned. It’s very elegant. At the gate area (specifically at 7 and 8), seating has been overhauled into spaceship-style Austin Powers style chairs, with snazzy BA blue, red, and purple style designs on the carpet. Information screens are sharp and detailed, and the spiffiest thing about the new podiums was that the gate agents would record their announcements in advance over the built-in microphone, then press play whenever they’d want their notices to air. Pretty neat.
Because the flight was so empty, we were able to board when the C-class cabin was called up. The purser was a lady who resembled Linda Tripp. She welcomed us aboard, and we walked past an almost completely empty First Class cabin. Only three seats had been occupied. We plopped down in row 5, the bulkhead of United Business. I glanced out my window and noticed that it was just starting to rain hard. We would be taking off in the same storm we arrived in.
Pushback, Taxi, and Takeoff
The flight crew was friendly and efficient throughout the flight. The new uniforms fit the middle-aged crew very well, and they seemed to enjoy looking stylish as they whisked about the cabin. After giving us our pre-departure drinks in plastic champagne glasses,the Business Class F/A who looked like a Latin Mr. Clean offered a selection of newspapers, either the Financial Times or New York Times. I chose the latter because it had a special feature on WTC ground zero, and the current construction going on there. Another male stew shockingly resembling a Latinized Bruce Willis came by to give us a fresh pair of headsets, IFE guide, and United Business menus. Then a lady who looked *exactly* like my drama teacher from high school provided a hot towel service. Gosh, this flight crew was full of look-alikes!
Mr. Clean came by one more time before takeoff to hand us our amenity kits. I swear, every time he glided by (you know the flight attendant "glide" down the aisles just as well as I do) I heard the jingle for the cleaning agent pop up in my head -- Senor Clean! Senor Clean! The amenity kits were basic and came in a small, blue, nylon bag. They contained eyeshades, noise-cancelling earplugs http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif, a toothpick-flosser, disposable toothbrush, kleenex, grey cabin socks, and Aerosense branded toothpaste and moisturizer. The moisturizer was a nice touch, as applying it to your hands and face was supposed to not only moisturize, but also clean and hydrate your skin. Boy, I sound like an advertisement, don’t I?
We taxiied out right behind the AA 777 bound for Ezeiza, and waited quite a bit for the storm to subside. In the queue behind us stood some interesting aircraft, including an Olympic A340-300 (stunning!) and Biman Bangladesh DC-10-30. We took off in sheets of rain as the PW4000s gave their characteristic high-pitched screams and sucked in plentiful amounts of water. Our climb was steep and turbulent, and the now 2/3 full Business cabin was full of clicks and squeaks from passengers immediately reclining their chairs and extending their footrests. When we reached FL370, the view outside was gorgeous as we hurtled south across the Atlantic, with clear night time skies and stars unobstructed by clouds, which were all low-lying by now.
Meal Service and Entertainment
I popped open my PTV from the armrest and avoided the stale cinema selection, instead turning to my favorite, the National Geographic channel. I love nature programming, and am glad United provides both the Discovery channel and the NGC. Just as watching a pride of lions feast on some gazelles started to whet my appetite, the meal service started. I ordered my typical tomato juice and was served a ramekin of cold nuts. After the ramekin was taken away, Brucio Williseo came by with another hot towel service, and Mr. Clean glided over to us and took our meal orders. The three course meal was served on a single tray, with the plates being switched for each course.
Appetizer
Duet of duck confit and foie gras with pork terrine
Dried apricot and cherry compote
Garden Salad with Asian sesame ginger dressing and an assortment of specialty breads fresh from the bakery
The duck/pork was interesting, kind of gamey, and the goose liver pate was yummy, especially cause I never get to eat such boutique-ish and expensive food. Mixing those raw tastes with the fruit proved to be a tasty combination. The salad was fine, and I had several wheat bread rolls.
Main Course
Filet mignon with tomato artichoke compote
It's funny how the airline menu writers use fancy names like "compote". I really would have been satisfied with the word "sauce:, but I guess they want the service to seem more elegant. The beef was tender, juicy, and medium rare the way I like it. It was perfect and very filling. I also enjoyed the artichoke (my favorite).
Dessert
Eli's praline cheesecake
United must be Eli's biggest customer because it uses their cheesecake to death for dessert services. While I was beginning to get tired of having cheesecake ad nauseum of United, this variant was the best yet! The cheesecake was coated with a pecan cookie crust. It was spectacular!
Breakfast was provided about an hour before arrival. There were two courses.
To Begin
Fresh seasonal fruit and breakfast breads
There was a generous fruit bowl of all three types of sliced melon. Croissants were flaky, tender, and abundant.
Entree For the heartier appetite
Cheddar cheese omelette with wild mushroom sauce
Pork sausage and home-fried potatoes
Just as good as a breakfast you'd expect from a nice local cafe.
The meal service topped my expectations for my first trip in international Business. The only service issue I had was with the beverages: for the sake of presentation, United does not provide the can with the glass. The glasses in United Business are quite small, so I wish the F/A's came around more often, as my tomato juice sat sadly needing a refill for long periods. Also, it was strange that no occassional water offerings occured during the night time flight, as they typically do even in Coach, or that no water bottles were given out. As I drifted in and out of sleep, my throat was parched, but didn't want to get up from my comfy position for something to drink.
Seat Comfort and Cabin Ambience
When sleepy time came, it was kind of strange seeing Mr. Clean walk down the aisle from First Class after having taken off his powder blue dress shirt. I thought it was kind of shameful for an F/A to glide with only an undershirt on, even if he was going to the "crew rest". The crew took advantage of empty seats in the rear C-class cabin and used those instead of the Economy Plus type seats in the cordoned off crew rest area. With 5 hours of daylight before arrival, the window shades were required to be kept down until breakfast.
The only way United's enhanced business seating can get any better is by changing the seat to a flat-bed product altogether. The 55" of pitch and 150* of recline seemed more generous than that. The recline actually seemed almost flat, and it was the footrest which felt like it didn't have enough "upcline". I slept like a baby by wrapping my head around my headrest, leaning on my side, adjusting the lumbar support to my lower back and inflating the back cycler there, taking off my headphones, and keeping the PTV on airshow. One of my favorite things about the seat is that is uses a foot "stage" unlike most other seats, which use a foot "bar".
I woke up perfectly refreshed and well-rested to a Biz cabin teeming with warm sunlight and shadows as we were about an hour out from Buenos Aires. We descended smoothly as our airplane's shadow grew larger and larger over the Argentine pampas. After touching down, it was a breeze to go through immigration, and we caught the cheapt Manuel de Tiendo ($5 USD) shuttle bus downtown.
28 MAR 02 EZE-JFK UA 976
763 N646UA F-Class 1A
After two wonderful days in Buenos Aires, enjoying the great weather, awesome people, and fun-filled city, it was time to head back to Ezeiza international. We didn't notice it when arriving (because we sped out customs), but all other carriers except Aerolineas Argentinas were now using a brand new international terminal, with that typical vauled steel and glass style. The terminal had opened just August of last year, so it was dope being able to enjoy it coming back home.
Oddly enough, our short stay mimicked the layover of the flight crew, and we said hi to each other when going through security. Right before security was a kiosk where foreign citizens could reclaim all their taxes, since all prices in AR include tax. The line was too long, though, and besides--everything was already about four times cheaper in Argentina, so we didn't want to rob the country even more. It was nice to be able to enjoy such a modern and comsopolitan place on the cheap, but also was sad. Most of the foreigners reclaiming taxes where, you guessed it, Americans. I wish they weren't so petty, because in reality they were only claiming something like 20% back of 75% percent they were already saving. The exchange rate was ridiculous. Sigh...
The Business Class cabin was full on this flight, so we 'had' to take seats in the First Class cabin. International First is avoided by S.A. travelers because there is a nominal service charge to fly in United's premier product. Another NRSA passenger sat down in First on the other side of the cabin, and we both were stumped as to what the charge would be. I'm sure it is reasonable, and after flying back home in it, the luxurious service more than warrants an extra charge. It turned out that I also saw one of the same First Class passengers from the first flight sitting in First again, this time in the solitary middle seat. Apparently, she was an onboard service manager. I found out because the Latin Bruce Willis FA was kissing her ... the whole time (even sensually stroking her arm when asking if she needed anything -- cheezy dude!), and also since when I approached the my "drama teacher" FA about our malfunctioning overhead lights, she personally apologized for it. You see, the lights in First class on all the international 767s have some wiring problem, so in some rows lights will turn on and off randomly. I introduced myself to this important UA person, and after we briefly talked about UA's product, Regina (who in turn resembled the .... from American Pie) helped me tape foil over the lights.
With the absence of the First Suite on this plane, it features UA's "old new" intl First product, the closest thing besides the Suite that UA has ever produced to a sleeper seat. The difference between First and Business mainly resided in the service provided (which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't even all that different). The amenity kit was a larger, tan suede bag with everythign else the C kit had except the addition of lip balm and mouth wash. The headphones were the noise-cancelling variety, but to tell you the truth, my pair didn't seem to do a ****ed thing. It was also kind of strange how it seemed noiser up front with all the wind.
Pushback, Taxi, and Takeoff
The service during this part of the flight was pretty much the same as before in Business. The purser (Linda Tripp wannabe) would be our main flight attendant this time. I selected the FT because it had a feature story on Philippine Airlines and its revival. She laughed at my choice and said, "you chose that because you wanted to fall asleep, huh?" We took of in a heavy downpour once again. However, there were many (almost too many!) hot towel services, I think I got hot towels at least six times throughout the flight.
Meal Service and Entertainment
This was where the largest difference was between First and Business. We got a larger menu, larger and more frequent (bottomless) drink service, more personalized attention, and better entertainment options with a Personal Video Player. Our tray table and food surfaces on the armests were covered in a wood laminate finish, which made it seem a little posh. All three courses were done independent of a tray, and on larger and fancier china. The service was truly top notch here. The menu even included an extra welcome:
"We are proud to introduce our Latin America menu selections developed and designed to incorporate the expectations expressed by many of our customers who have flown in the Latin American market.
The four key elements of the menu design are: uncomplicated dishes with distinctive characteristics and flavors; the freshest seasonal products availabe; authentic American and Latin American regional dishes and accompaniments; and light and substantial options appropriate to the time of day... (promotional stuff about the wine irrelevant as I don't drink it)
Serving sophisticated international guests is part of our flight attendants' long-term career commitment to the hospitality field. It is our goal to provide you with meals of the highest quality and consistency. We hope that you enjoy these selections as much as we have enjoyed creating them for you.
Bon appetit!"
We were served Dinner on this night time flight.
Appetizer
Smoked ham, salami, and Swiss cheese antipasto
Grilled zucchini, tomato, and lemon aioli
Garden salad with lemon shallot vinaigrette and an assortment of specialty breads fresh (yada yada yada)
A nice deli meat plate... I "let" everyone else have the crab cake. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif
Main Course
Mustard and crumb-coated Chateaubriand
Rioja wine sauce, bundles carrots with rosemary and artichoke risotto
Excellent meat, I love mustard!
Dessert
Ice cream with sunday toppings
The ice cream was birlliant. It was gelato, and the almond toppings I had were thin, crispy, and sweet.
I also had some alcohol for the first time on this flight, requesting my all-time favorites, Kahlua and Bailey's!
Breakfast was almost exactly the same, however:
To Begin
Seasonal fresh fruit appetizer with breakfast breads (I had a croissant again)
Main Course For the heartier appetite...
Gruyere cheese and spinach omelette with roasted tomato sauce
Home-friend potatoes and pork sausage
"Roasted" tomato sauce? Like I could tell a difference from it and regular tomato sauce. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif
Seat Comfort and Cabin Ambience
I swear the Business seat had more recline that the First sleeper seat! I was assured by Linda Tripp, however, that this was not the case. Whatever. The only difference between the two seats was that the F seat was fully electronic, had a larger center console, was wider, and had a foot rest that had probably full upcline. Because it was slightly larger, I was able to sleep comfortably on my back. Even though the recline seemed a bit disappointed, I liked how my feed were able to go full flat, and felt I could sleep easily this way.
Upon arriving into New York on a cold and hazy morning, I was very well rested and fed. Even though First wasn't that much different, I'm glad I experienced it. Overall, I think United has premium international products that are comfortable and convenient.
24 MAR 02 EWR-IAD UA 7527 BR
FRJ (D328-200) N451FJ Y-Class 8C
The flight to visit my friend on the East Coast was an uneventful redeye SFO-EWR on UA 98 in the middle seat 10B of the Economy Plus section of N504UA, a 757-200. Nothing to report except it was my first time flying into EWR.
Coming back home through EWR, I had more time to explore the airport. My flight was scheduled to leave at 0742, but it was delayed to 0900. I took the funky AirTrain from Terminal A to explore Continental’s stomping grounds – its “Global Gateway”. The new international/large aircraft concourse was complete but still underutilized in the morning rush, with the only flights using the nascent facility being the packed flights to South Florida. I was pretty impressed with the airiness of the new terminal, but that’s pretty much par for the course with all the new airport terminals worldwide adopting what architects call International Style: buildings chock full of vaulted glass and steel beams.
Trekking back to Terminal A (and bypassing the nondescript B), I was amused by the monorail’s strange design which places people in small compartments, different than other rail movers. Coming back to the security line, it was sad not being able to bypass the “sheer joy” of security by going through a dedicated employee checkpoint. Sigh.
When I finally passed through (after the first of what was to be the first of many security screeners in different airports fondling my precious laptop) I saw the little Dodo Jet scurrying by at a blistering taxi speed. I almost did the dance of joy right there, but decided to withhold my glee until I could compliment the flight crew on what a gorgeous and foxy lady they had brought me. I eagerly became the first one to board and entered the cabin with the lust that only an airplane nut has for an airplane that he has never flown on before. I almost forgot to breathe; the aircraft had the new carpeting and bulkheads. For an interior junkie like me, Décor 5.6 appearing on regionals is orgasmic.
I entered the cabin and smelled the glory that is new plane smell. After the F/A pleasantly welcomed me, I immediately notified her that I was excited to be on the Dornier (en Francais please) 328-200. The captain’s ears perked up as he finished his walk-around and entered the cabin behind me. He assumed that I was a pilot for SkyWest (not the first time I’ve been mistaken for one!), and after I told him I already liked the cabin better than the similarly sized EMB-120, quipped that he liked SkyWest better than his similarly sized airline (ACA). I love airline humor. I was assigned 4B, but was told to take any seat as far back as possible because we were lightly loaded with only nine out of 32 seats occupied, with eight of those being non-revenue space available asses!
I walked back and plopped my arse down in 8C, a window in the 1-2 configuration. I made my selection carefully, as I wanted a view unobstructed by the top-wing mounted engines. Telling you the cabin of the Dork Jet is extremely comfortable is an understatement. Everything about the cabin was generously designed, with cabin height, seat width, and aisle space being exceptional for any regional aircraft. The aisle is recessed, there are two entry exit areas (one in the back for food service carts to enter the galley), two emergency exits rows with extra legroom, a large lavatory, and a nice “private” section of seating opposite the lavatory in back.
The most amazing thing about the aircraft was the cabin width. It allows for 18” wide seats (the same as on A320, 767/777 equipment), and indeed, the United Express standard-leather seat covers adorned a seat remarkably contoured like United’s 777 seat. With a full size traytable and 32” of pitch, I found the 328Jet to be more comfortable than a 757 even, and would gladly take one across the Atlantic if I could.
Performance wise, she is a slow cruiser, but that is not a problem considering the mission she was designed for, and the mission ACA is using the RJ for is short-range hops along the eastern seaboard. It takes off like a champ; takeoff from EWR lasted a brief thirteen seconds, and climb was spectacular and smooth. It had a lot of get up and go, which surprised me given the tiny appearance of the engines, which looked more like hairdryers than anything. The Dornier Jet also has some unique features:
The bulkhead exit row seats 1BC have shoulder harnesses The announcements are electronic (pre-recorded) and automated HUGE windows (rivaling 777 size and unheard of in any regional plane)
The announcements took care of most of the F/A’s P.A. work, but she was very eager to serve us, very proud of this new plane, and spent most of the flight chatting with me and two other non-revs about how great the plane was. She must really love the plane too, because it was the first time I had ever seen an F/A wipe her cabin’s windows for our viewing pleasure. One can only hope that more regionals will take the FRJ.
26 MAR 02 IAD-JFK UA 7260 BR
Junkstream 41 N808UE Y-Class 9A
Now I know why the BAe Jetstream is feared and despised. It was an incredibly uncomfortable, noisy, and substandard regional aircraft. We were to catch the JFK-EZE flight after IAD-MIA went out completely full, and were worried we’d miss even that connection because very low fog at IAD left only one runway active. With tons of other UAX planes in line ahead of us, as well as the last round of European heavy departures, it would be tight. Nevertheless, we made it and had quite an adventure on the way.
The J41 climbed up into the bumpy clouds and was quite a turbulent ride. It took a very long while to get to our cruising altitudes at FL150 and FL170, and it was so bumpy that I got airsick for the first time. We poached multiple air pockets, which prevented another enthusiastic (she was big on the J41’s uniqueness) ACA F/A from providing a full beverage service. Instead, we were passed around bottles of water along with UA’s classic cheese and pretzel mix.
Two jolly German men, tourists from Dusseldorf, were behind me, laughing about the turbulence the whole time until it started to look serious. I shouted “Schnell, schnell!” as our little prop struggled to break the cloud cover, which made them laugh some more (I think they were full of Heineken) and exclaim “sheitze! Sheitze!” with excitement. The graduate student girls across the aisle from me, overhearing my UAX employee conversation with the F/A, asked me if this was normal. I comforted them saying it was typical in low-altitude regional flights to experience greater than average turbulence, until we hit a real violent air pocket which shook the cabin and jostled us out of our seats a little, upon which I said, “now THAT’S not normal…”
The saving grace of the J41 was its hilarious and peculiar lavatory configuration. The flight attendant sits in the galley in back, with the jumpseat attached to the rear bulkhead wall. The wall to the left of the jumpseat is actually a door, which opens up revealing a toilet-in-a-closet, and closes off the galley. The rear galley turns into the bathroom! Quite disgusting and a sickening concept, but so weird it was worth some laughs. At least the beverages are served out of a separate, non-galley beverage unit up front.
NOW FOR THE THE INTL REPORT
These flights were special to me because they were my first flights in United’s international premium classes. Even though I am not the elite traveler that UA desires on these routes, I felt like I received the superior service expected by one.
26 MAR 02 JFK-EZE UA 979
767-300ER N659UA C-Class 5F
It was a short wait from our IAD connection to board the 10:20 Buenos Aires flight. United had suspended this route for a couple of months due to low loads, but recently brought it back. It has cut two daily frequencies from its premier Latin American destinations, GRU and EZE. It dropped JFK-GRU and decided instead to rely on 777 service from ORD-GRU for those JFK passengers who couldn’t connect on the MIA flight. It dropped ORD-EZE in favor of 763 service from JFK-EZE, given that this route has more O&D traffic. Connecting traffic to Argentina has dwindled since the country’s major economic turmoil from the new year concerning the devaluation of the peso.
It wasn’t surprising that the flight seemed deserted from the boarding lounge, which by the way looked great. BA is still in the nearly done renovating its facility at T7. The United areas are much nicer now. Over at the ticket counters, the backdrop walling has been replaced by raw granite and slate stone slabs, one top of which large, metallic United block letters are positioned. It’s very elegant. At the gate area (specifically at 7 and 8), seating has been overhauled into spaceship-style Austin Powers style chairs, with snazzy BA blue, red, and purple style designs on the carpet. Information screens are sharp and detailed, and the spiffiest thing about the new podiums was that the gate agents would record their announcements in advance over the built-in microphone, then press play whenever they’d want their notices to air. Pretty neat.
Because the flight was so empty, we were able to board when the C-class cabin was called up. The purser was a lady who resembled Linda Tripp. She welcomed us aboard, and we walked past an almost completely empty First Class cabin. Only three seats had been occupied. We plopped down in row 5, the bulkhead of United Business. I glanced out my window and noticed that it was just starting to rain hard. We would be taking off in the same storm we arrived in.
Pushback, Taxi, and Takeoff
The flight crew was friendly and efficient throughout the flight. The new uniforms fit the middle-aged crew very well, and they seemed to enjoy looking stylish as they whisked about the cabin. After giving us our pre-departure drinks in plastic champagne glasses,the Business Class F/A who looked like a Latin Mr. Clean offered a selection of newspapers, either the Financial Times or New York Times. I chose the latter because it had a special feature on WTC ground zero, and the current construction going on there. Another male stew shockingly resembling a Latinized Bruce Willis came by to give us a fresh pair of headsets, IFE guide, and United Business menus. Then a lady who looked *exactly* like my drama teacher from high school provided a hot towel service. Gosh, this flight crew was full of look-alikes!
Mr. Clean came by one more time before takeoff to hand us our amenity kits. I swear, every time he glided by (you know the flight attendant "glide" down the aisles just as well as I do) I heard the jingle for the cleaning agent pop up in my head -- Senor Clean! Senor Clean! The amenity kits were basic and came in a small, blue, nylon bag. They contained eyeshades, noise-cancelling earplugs http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif, a toothpick-flosser, disposable toothbrush, kleenex, grey cabin socks, and Aerosense branded toothpaste and moisturizer. The moisturizer was a nice touch, as applying it to your hands and face was supposed to not only moisturize, but also clean and hydrate your skin. Boy, I sound like an advertisement, don’t I?
We taxiied out right behind the AA 777 bound for Ezeiza, and waited quite a bit for the storm to subside. In the queue behind us stood some interesting aircraft, including an Olympic A340-300 (stunning!) and Biman Bangladesh DC-10-30. We took off in sheets of rain as the PW4000s gave their characteristic high-pitched screams and sucked in plentiful amounts of water. Our climb was steep and turbulent, and the now 2/3 full Business cabin was full of clicks and squeaks from passengers immediately reclining their chairs and extending their footrests. When we reached FL370, the view outside was gorgeous as we hurtled south across the Atlantic, with clear night time skies and stars unobstructed by clouds, which were all low-lying by now.
Meal Service and Entertainment
I popped open my PTV from the armrest and avoided the stale cinema selection, instead turning to my favorite, the National Geographic channel. I love nature programming, and am glad United provides both the Discovery channel and the NGC. Just as watching a pride of lions feast on some gazelles started to whet my appetite, the meal service started. I ordered my typical tomato juice and was served a ramekin of cold nuts. After the ramekin was taken away, Brucio Williseo came by with another hot towel service, and Mr. Clean glided over to us and took our meal orders. The three course meal was served on a single tray, with the plates being switched for each course.
Appetizer
Duet of duck confit and foie gras with pork terrine
Dried apricot and cherry compote
Garden Salad with Asian sesame ginger dressing and an assortment of specialty breads fresh from the bakery
The duck/pork was interesting, kind of gamey, and the goose liver pate was yummy, especially cause I never get to eat such boutique-ish and expensive food. Mixing those raw tastes with the fruit proved to be a tasty combination. The salad was fine, and I had several wheat bread rolls.
Main Course
Filet mignon with tomato artichoke compote
It's funny how the airline menu writers use fancy names like "compote". I really would have been satisfied with the word "sauce:, but I guess they want the service to seem more elegant. The beef was tender, juicy, and medium rare the way I like it. It was perfect and very filling. I also enjoyed the artichoke (my favorite).
Dessert
Eli's praline cheesecake
United must be Eli's biggest customer because it uses their cheesecake to death for dessert services. While I was beginning to get tired of having cheesecake ad nauseum of United, this variant was the best yet! The cheesecake was coated with a pecan cookie crust. It was spectacular!
Breakfast was provided about an hour before arrival. There were two courses.
To Begin
Fresh seasonal fruit and breakfast breads
There was a generous fruit bowl of all three types of sliced melon. Croissants were flaky, tender, and abundant.
Entree For the heartier appetite
Cheddar cheese omelette with wild mushroom sauce
Pork sausage and home-fried potatoes
Just as good as a breakfast you'd expect from a nice local cafe.
The meal service topped my expectations for my first trip in international Business. The only service issue I had was with the beverages: for the sake of presentation, United does not provide the can with the glass. The glasses in United Business are quite small, so I wish the F/A's came around more often, as my tomato juice sat sadly needing a refill for long periods. Also, it was strange that no occassional water offerings occured during the night time flight, as they typically do even in Coach, or that no water bottles were given out. As I drifted in and out of sleep, my throat was parched, but didn't want to get up from my comfy position for something to drink.
Seat Comfort and Cabin Ambience
When sleepy time came, it was kind of strange seeing Mr. Clean walk down the aisle from First Class after having taken off his powder blue dress shirt. I thought it was kind of shameful for an F/A to glide with only an undershirt on, even if he was going to the "crew rest". The crew took advantage of empty seats in the rear C-class cabin and used those instead of the Economy Plus type seats in the cordoned off crew rest area. With 5 hours of daylight before arrival, the window shades were required to be kept down until breakfast.
The only way United's enhanced business seating can get any better is by changing the seat to a flat-bed product altogether. The 55" of pitch and 150* of recline seemed more generous than that. The recline actually seemed almost flat, and it was the footrest which felt like it didn't have enough "upcline". I slept like a baby by wrapping my head around my headrest, leaning on my side, adjusting the lumbar support to my lower back and inflating the back cycler there, taking off my headphones, and keeping the PTV on airshow. One of my favorite things about the seat is that is uses a foot "stage" unlike most other seats, which use a foot "bar".
I woke up perfectly refreshed and well-rested to a Biz cabin teeming with warm sunlight and shadows as we were about an hour out from Buenos Aires. We descended smoothly as our airplane's shadow grew larger and larger over the Argentine pampas. After touching down, it was a breeze to go through immigration, and we caught the cheapt Manuel de Tiendo ($5 USD) shuttle bus downtown.
28 MAR 02 EZE-JFK UA 976
763 N646UA F-Class 1A
After two wonderful days in Buenos Aires, enjoying the great weather, awesome people, and fun-filled city, it was time to head back to Ezeiza international. We didn't notice it when arriving (because we sped out customs), but all other carriers except Aerolineas Argentinas were now using a brand new international terminal, with that typical vauled steel and glass style. The terminal had opened just August of last year, so it was dope being able to enjoy it coming back home.
Oddly enough, our short stay mimicked the layover of the flight crew, and we said hi to each other when going through security. Right before security was a kiosk where foreign citizens could reclaim all their taxes, since all prices in AR include tax. The line was too long, though, and besides--everything was already about four times cheaper in Argentina, so we didn't want to rob the country even more. It was nice to be able to enjoy such a modern and comsopolitan place on the cheap, but also was sad. Most of the foreigners reclaiming taxes where, you guessed it, Americans. I wish they weren't so petty, because in reality they were only claiming something like 20% back of 75% percent they were already saving. The exchange rate was ridiculous. Sigh...
The Business Class cabin was full on this flight, so we 'had' to take seats in the First Class cabin. International First is avoided by S.A. travelers because there is a nominal service charge to fly in United's premier product. Another NRSA passenger sat down in First on the other side of the cabin, and we both were stumped as to what the charge would be. I'm sure it is reasonable, and after flying back home in it, the luxurious service more than warrants an extra charge. It turned out that I also saw one of the same First Class passengers from the first flight sitting in First again, this time in the solitary middle seat. Apparently, she was an onboard service manager. I found out because the Latin Bruce Willis FA was kissing her ... the whole time (even sensually stroking her arm when asking if she needed anything -- cheezy dude!), and also since when I approached the my "drama teacher" FA about our malfunctioning overhead lights, she personally apologized for it. You see, the lights in First class on all the international 767s have some wiring problem, so in some rows lights will turn on and off randomly. I introduced myself to this important UA person, and after we briefly talked about UA's product, Regina (who in turn resembled the .... from American Pie) helped me tape foil over the lights.
With the absence of the First Suite on this plane, it features UA's "old new" intl First product, the closest thing besides the Suite that UA has ever produced to a sleeper seat. The difference between First and Business mainly resided in the service provided (which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't even all that different). The amenity kit was a larger, tan suede bag with everythign else the C kit had except the addition of lip balm and mouth wash. The headphones were the noise-cancelling variety, but to tell you the truth, my pair didn't seem to do a ****ed thing. It was also kind of strange how it seemed noiser up front with all the wind.
Pushback, Taxi, and Takeoff
The service during this part of the flight was pretty much the same as before in Business. The purser (Linda Tripp wannabe) would be our main flight attendant this time. I selected the FT because it had a feature story on Philippine Airlines and its revival. She laughed at my choice and said, "you chose that because you wanted to fall asleep, huh?" We took of in a heavy downpour once again. However, there were many (almost too many!) hot towel services, I think I got hot towels at least six times throughout the flight.
Meal Service and Entertainment
This was where the largest difference was between First and Business. We got a larger menu, larger and more frequent (bottomless) drink service, more personalized attention, and better entertainment options with a Personal Video Player. Our tray table and food surfaces on the armests were covered in a wood laminate finish, which made it seem a little posh. All three courses were done independent of a tray, and on larger and fancier china. The service was truly top notch here. The menu even included an extra welcome:
"We are proud to introduce our Latin America menu selections developed and designed to incorporate the expectations expressed by many of our customers who have flown in the Latin American market.
The four key elements of the menu design are: uncomplicated dishes with distinctive characteristics and flavors; the freshest seasonal products availabe; authentic American and Latin American regional dishes and accompaniments; and light and substantial options appropriate to the time of day... (promotional stuff about the wine irrelevant as I don't drink it)
Serving sophisticated international guests is part of our flight attendants' long-term career commitment to the hospitality field. It is our goal to provide you with meals of the highest quality and consistency. We hope that you enjoy these selections as much as we have enjoyed creating them for you.
Bon appetit!"
We were served Dinner on this night time flight.
Appetizer
Smoked ham, salami, and Swiss cheese antipasto
Grilled zucchini, tomato, and lemon aioli
Garden salad with lemon shallot vinaigrette and an assortment of specialty breads fresh (yada yada yada)
A nice deli meat plate... I "let" everyone else have the crab cake. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif
Main Course
Mustard and crumb-coated Chateaubriand
Rioja wine sauce, bundles carrots with rosemary and artichoke risotto
Excellent meat, I love mustard!
Dessert
Ice cream with sunday toppings
The ice cream was birlliant. It was gelato, and the almond toppings I had were thin, crispy, and sweet.
I also had some alcohol for the first time on this flight, requesting my all-time favorites, Kahlua and Bailey's!
Breakfast was almost exactly the same, however:
To Begin
Seasonal fresh fruit appetizer with breakfast breads (I had a croissant again)
Main Course For the heartier appetite...
Gruyere cheese and spinach omelette with roasted tomato sauce
Home-friend potatoes and pork sausage
"Roasted" tomato sauce? Like I could tell a difference from it and regular tomato sauce. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif
Seat Comfort and Cabin Ambience
I swear the Business seat had more recline that the First sleeper seat! I was assured by Linda Tripp, however, that this was not the case. Whatever. The only difference between the two seats was that the F seat was fully electronic, had a larger center console, was wider, and had a foot rest that had probably full upcline. Because it was slightly larger, I was able to sleep comfortably on my back. Even though the recline seemed a bit disappointed, I liked how my feed were able to go full flat, and felt I could sleep easily this way.
Upon arriving into New York on a cold and hazy morning, I was very well rested and fed. Even though First wasn't that much different, I'm glad I experienced it. Overall, I think United has premium international products that are comfortable and convenient.