Trip Reports - United - LAX-IAD-CDG-LAX (the agony and the ecstasy)




biztraveller
Mar 28, 01, 11:37 am
OK, first off, this will be a long trip report, so if you get bored to tears by details, you have no one to blame but yourself for reading this. This is also my first time writing a trip report, so bear with me. I guess I'm a trip report virgin. Now then...

Background:
I booked a trip with my United Airlines United Plus miles about a month ago on a last minute whim to go to Europe. After accumulating 350,000 ff mile on United going to such mundane locales as Orlando, Madison, Minneapolis, and New York (okay, maybe not so mundane), I decided "why not try a business class trip to Europe?"

I called United International Desk, and after 5 tries to get through the busy signal (what the hell is that, by the way?), and a hold time of 15 minutes, I got a nice agent who informed me that there were no business class seats avaiable to Paris in late March. I kind of figured that would be the case. "BUT," he said, "you COULD go First Class for another 20,000 miles on the dates you want. It took me all of 1 second to say "yes yes yes".

One problem: You have to connect in Washington D.C. on the outbound leg, and the connection time is 40 minutes. Hmmm.
Me: "Isn't that cutting it short?"
Him: "Well, they wouldn't list it as a valid connection unless it was do-able."
Me: "Aren't there earlier LAX-IAD flights?"
Him: "yes, but no award seats are available"
Me: "Could they be available by the time the date rolls around?"
Him: "I'm sure it will be no problem."
Me: (duh) "uh... sure, book it."

<b>Sunday, March 18th</b>
OK, so, I had called and called and called trying to get on the earlier flights in the days leading up to my departure date. No luck. I was worried about the connection in IAD, and I didn't want to have to worry about it. It ruins the first leg of your flight if you spend it worrying about making the next connection. Well, I vowed THAT wouldn't happen to me. I told myself that everything would be on time, no problems would occur, it was Sunday morning and not too busy at LAX, blah blah blah.

I checked in and noticed that everything was on-time. Ya-hoo... Seat 4A on United #950 LAX-IAD (Boeing 757). Seat 2A on United #914 IAD-CDG (Boeing 777 - FirstSuite). I hung out at the beautiful International First Class Lounge at LAX. All sorts of free drinks and food (although the alcohol was not appetizing after the night before, as I was already nursing a slight hangover.) I read the paper, watched some planes, and generally enjoyed being removed from the commotion of the terminal below. My flight was scheduled to leave at 9:05am, and around 8:40am I looked at the monitor. It still showed ON TIME in big block letters. So, I decided to wander down to the gate because they would be boarding any minute now.

I walked down to gate 70B, and I noticed that something was not right. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. There were people in the boarding area, as you'd expect. People were waiting, and checking in, and gathering around the jetway entrance, as in most other flights. Then I looked out the window, and got a big glimpse of NOTHING. No plane.

My heart immediately beat 3 times as fast as it was a minute before, and I immediately looked at my watch, looked at the clock, looked at the ETA: It now said 9:30am. Hmm. Well 25 minutes doesn't seem like a lot, but when you are trying to make a 40 minute connection, it is a significant amount of time. I walked back to the First Class Lounge, and I told a very nice lady named Sue about my problem. She said I could maybe still make my connection, but she would monitor the plane's ETA just to make sure...

I went back down to the gate, and almost immediately heard my name called. It was Sue on the phone, saying the departure time had been pushed back a little more, and to make sure I'd get to Paris, she booked a First Class Seat on the flight to IAD that left 4 hours later than the one on which I was scheduled.

Anyway, the plane parked (it only had to be towed in from a hangar -- they said the jetway was broken). So, they announced the boarding for the flight at 9:10 am. At this point, I still had hope. I got onto the jetway, and made it almost to the jet door, when they stopped everyone. "There is yesterday's food on the plane" I hear one F/A say.

SO, with all the passengers crammed into the jetway, they load the food onto the plane. I am basically resigned to the fact I am missing my connection, so a kind of inner peace settles over me. Apparently it is an awful lot like the peace that sets in when you are drowning and just accept it.

OK, so we're off by 9:50 am, 45 minutes late. The pilot promises to try to make up some of the time in the air. I mentally push the airplane towards Dulles, and imagine just how much shorter the trip would be if there was no state of Kentucky.

OK, the flight itself had one of the worst first class flight attendants I've ever seen. And it was not like she was trying to be bad. She just WAS. We had no drinks service for quite a while after take off. I had cold salmon on lettuce, and then had scallops (i love seafood), followed by a large ice cream sundae. It was all good. However, the flight attendant forgot EVERY request made by all those seated around me. The guy next to me had to ask for an after dinner drink 4 times before she gave it to him. I ordered a Diet Coke with my meal, and it never appeared. I only ended up receiving water. She said she didn't know where her head was. Well, no one else knew either. And I am not flight attendant bashing. She seemed like she meant well and she smiled. The service was just really bad.

Oh, Hector Elizondo was on my flight up on the aisle in Seat 3C. (he's the hotel manager from Pretty Woman, and he's been on a lot of other things). The movie came on (it was "Red Planet"), and it was pretty ridiculous. Hector didn't even put his headphones on, but shook his head at the visions of exploding Martian creatures and some big spidery robot thing. I went to use the restroom, came back to sit down, and banged my head against the TVs that hang down in the 757s. I glared at the TV as if it had popped out of nowhere to hit me on my head, but I was quite humiliated as several people had to stifle laughter.

Well, we are landing at Dulles. My watch says 5:23 pm. My flight to Paris leaves at 5:40 pm. I can make it. I know I can! My heart soars. We taxi. And taxi. And taxi. And stop. "Ladies and Gentlemen, there is traffic in the alleyway. Please remain seated. We know a lot of you have close connections to make." ARRRRGGGGHHH!

At 5:35 pm we pull up to the gate. I still think I can make it. The F/A's ask people not making connections to remain seated when we leave. As I gather my carry-ons, I hear my name called and I am asked to meet the First Class Concierge at the exit of the plane. Great! This person will escort me to my waiting seat. I had visions of them holding the door open, waiting patiently as I would breathlessly flop into my seat.

The woman I met at the door looked at me and said, "sorry, we have booked you on the next flight to Paris in 4 hours". "But," I say, "I have 5 minutes." "Sorry, I closed the door on that aircraft." "But I have 5 minutes."

She then apologized and escorted me to the First Class Lounge at Dulles. Another beautiful place with lots of wood, leather chairs, and free drinks. I got my new seat assignment: Seat 3J on Flight 912. They also gave me 2 free international upgrades for my inconvenience. I thought that was very nice of them.

I watched basketball, the Simpsons, and Malcolm in the Middle (all my favorites). I think I was being checked out by another guy waiting in the Lounge. (we gay folks have intuition about these sorts of things -- sorry if you are offended). Four hours went by quickly. The staff at IAD was nice and helpful, and they guarded that entrance to the Lounge as if their lives depended on it. Nobbody got by them!

Finally it was time to board the plane. We were escorted out of the lounge, cut in front of the line, and shown to our First Suites. Wow. They are quite impressive. I had a couple of glasses of champagne, and stared at the seat controls. It was kind of like something out of Star Trek. I had to ask the poor flight attendant how to work everything, but he didn't treat me like an idiot and was very patient with me.

After we took off, I played with the seat and selected a video: Fantasia 2000. Okay, I had never seen it, and I thought the nice music might lull me to sleep. (Once I figured out how to work the video machine), I enjoyed the movie. Except when "Rhapsody In Blue" came on. I flashbacked to being on hold with United Airlines. The animation accompaniment to that song should have been frustrated travelers jabbing pencils into their eyes, but I guess Disney decided it would be too violent.

Dinner was very good, and I completely forget what it was (sorry). I do know dessert was huge cups of fruit, with whipped cream and ice cream. Service throughout the flight was excellent, and the flight attendants were constantly through the cabin before most people went to sleep.

I picked through the contents of my ammenities bag they gave me. Toothpaste (Rembrandt, of course), toothbrush, eye shades, ear plugs, socks, lip balm, skin lotion, and kleenex were among the ammenities. I settled on the eye shades and ear plugs, and made my seat into a bed.

The bed is a wonderful invention. I am now spoiled for life, and I am wondering when they will put FirstSuites into the Shuttle 737s from LAX-SFO. I cannot travel any other way ever again.

I slept only a little however, and before I knew it we were descending towards Paris. I had a bowl of cereal, some low-fat yogurt (gotta keep that figure, you know), and some OJ and coffee to wake me up. That IAD-CDG flight is a lot shorter than I thought it would be!

I did not get to use the "arrivals" facility because i was in a rush to meet people, and didn't want to keep them waiting. They did announce that EVERYONE in Business and First class was welcome to use it (some people on the United board said only full fare and full mileage C and F passengers could use it, but apparently that does not apply in Paris).

Despite the missed flight, I was treated with courtesy and professionalism by United throughout my trip, and I have 2 int'l upgrades to show for it. In the end, it turned out OK, with my only disappointment coming at not being able to use the Arrivals Facility.

My next report later today will by my return CDG-LAX (non-stop) in United First... If you didn't find this report excrutiating in it's detail and still must know other details, feel free to ask and I will answer as best as possible.


LLZ
Mar 28, 01, 1:55 pm
Very well written and entertaining biztraveller!

Mizu
Mar 28, 01, 2:13 pm
Very nice report - a pleasure to read... http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif


sarecca
Mar 28, 01, 2:24 pm
Great trip report. I am an AA flyer and have yet to experience their version of the UA first suite. Hope you had a good time in my favorite city

markg
Mar 28, 01, 2:36 pm
biztraveller-

Great report - Madison is not mundane, it rocks! I am headed to Paris in May, US Airways - (I'll deal with United after the merger) let me know if ya have any good restaurant suggestions.

MG

kyklin
Mar 28, 01, 4:56 pm
Nice report!

biztraveller
Mar 28, 01, 5:21 pm
LOL...OK, for some folks, Madison is mundane! But I mean that only in the cleanest and nicest sort of ways!

Paris restaurant recommendations: Any and Every restaurant. I did not experience ONE bad meal in France (I went to several cities in France). They were all exceptional, and I ate more cheeses and desserts than in the entire previous year. And the amazing thing is that there are so few fat French people! It must be the cigarettes. I should take up smoking (now THERE'S a difference between France, where you can smoke anywhere including probably the confessional in Church, and California, where I heard this morning they are considering out-doors banning of smoking in some places...but that's for another board...)

OK, on to my final segment of my trip: CDG-LAX non-stop. After days in France and Spain of eating and drinking and shopping and museum going, it was time to bid adieu. I arrived at the airport sufficiently early, and realized that it was probably THE strangest airport I'd ever been to. After checking in (Seat 2A on Flight 937), I went up this glass-enclosed escalator. I then wound my way through a maze of duty-free shops (the terminal is circular, so you always have this feeling of going in circles). I felt like I looped around the same place twice. Then I headed out to Satellite 1, where you follow this moving walkway down, then across, then up.

It is really quite an adventure.

Compared to the First Class lounges in LAX and Dulles, the Lounge at CDG is a small shack. Well, more like a cozy cottage. It is comfortable, but tiny, and the selection of food is small. I had a glass of Brut, read the USA Today (what a crap paper, but at least it had college b-ball results), and drank another glass of Champagne.

A woman called my name, and of course it was bad news (although not too bad). She said Seat 2A had no video, and I was being moved to Seat 2E in the middle. Darn. I love the window. I had wanted to see Greenland as we flew above it, but then again I also wanted to watch movies.

We boarded the 777, and I settled into my First Suite. By now I was an old pro at the seat and video controls, and laughed knowingly at those who looked at them in confusion. Novices.

I ate a shrimp and scallop salad as an appetizer, followed by a delicious marinated lamb loin. For dessert, I topped off with a bowl of fresh fruit with ice cream. Of course, I had 2 bloody marys and 2 glasses of Chardonnay with lunch. Grandma always said never pass up free booze.

I watched "Coyote Ugly" during lunch. Now, have any of you actually seen that movie, and if you did, did you watch it for the plot? Being heterosexually-challenged myself, I can still appreciate beautiful women, and they were all pretty.

But I'm sorry, even 4 drinks couldn't make that movie any good.

OK, so I fell asleep in that wonderful sleeper again for two hours. I woke up and went over to Seat 2A (my original seat that they had left empty). I opened the shade and saw the beautiful ice of Greenland. Quite spectacular.

I watched 2 more movies: Beautiful Joe and Lucky Numbers. Beautiful Joe was a pleasant enough movie (except for Sharon Stone's awful Southern accent) about an Irish guy with a brain tumor who takes care of some floozy (Stone) who has tried to steal his money, has a gambling problem, and puts her children in danger all the time. Other than that she's a real catch. Predictable until the end, it still was pleasant.

I had heard bad things about Lucky Numbers (John Travolta and Lisa Kudrow), but I found it entertaining, and I don't even like John Travolta that much. I like Lisa Kudrow, though, and I think it is remarkable that she can take her character from "Friends" and put her in so many different movie roles. It's a funny character though, so why mess with success? Basically two dimwit characters try to fix the Pennsylvania lottery. Bill Pullman is hilarious. I'm not sure why so many people hate this movie.

Sorry, this is turning into a movie review. Back to the flight. About an hour before landing, I ate the best crab cakes I've ever eaten anywhere. Seriously.

By the way, the flight attendant in First Class looked exactly like Joan Allen in "the Contender." She spoke like her too. I wanted to tell her, but some people get offended when you compare them to famous people. But if anyone flies United and gets this flight attendant, she was very attentive, and she let me borrow her pen for the customs form.

The flight landed 30 minutes early, I was the first person off the plane, through passport control, and through customs. I was out of the terminal 7 minutes after exiting the plane. That is benefit #1 of flying first class: First through Customs.

By the way, NO, they did not make us take anitseptic showers to ward off Foot and Mouth disease. They didn't even ask about it. I'm glad they didn't, as I was able to carry on my crate of French steaks. (just kidding, Agriculture Department).

Anyway, overall United did an excellent job. After a shaky start, they atoned, and I am already planning my next FirstSuite experience to Australia next year...

If they ever got the First Suite on the Shuttle flights, I would never leave the air.

jskiffington
Mar 28, 01, 6:26 pm
Great report! I'm heading to CDG next month as well, but I'll be in (ack) coach. Now I'll know what I'm missing... http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

PremEx2000
Mar 28, 01, 7:31 pm
Biztraveller:

Two very entertaining and well-written trip reports. And I'm glad to see you spell "traveller" correctly.

dhammer53
Mar 28, 01, 7:51 pm
Great report.

Keep em coming.

DAn

dhammer53
Mar 28, 01, 7:52 pm
Great report.

Keep em coming.

DAn

dhammer53
Mar 28, 01, 7:52 pm
[This message has been edited by dhammer53 (edited 03-28-2001).]

dhammer53
Mar 28, 01, 10:01 pm
sorry about the dup posts. FT was a little slow.

Biz, So you never finished the story about that guy eyeing you up. What happened? http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif
Inquiring minds want to know.
I'm straight and one of these days I'm going to get lucky when I travel. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif hmmm http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

Regards,
Dan

biztraveller
Mar 29, 01, 2:02 pm
dhammer --
Alas, it was not to be, as he was off to Frankfurt, and I was flying to Paris. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif But he definitely made me want to brush up on my German...

And I highly suggest International First Class Lounges as prospective mate meeting places. (It's like meeting at the car wash, you can tell what they look like and their income all at once...).

I'm just kidding folks, I'm not THAT shallow (I tell myself).

Good luck on your quest hammer... http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

BizJet
Mar 29, 01, 2:48 pm
Great trip report, thank you very much. Despite the slight delay and missing your transatlantic flight, I really think you came out the better as you got to check out the First Class Lounge at Dulles and you scored two extremely coveted international upgrades!! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif I hope they go to good use...that means not on the Shuttle to upgrade LAX-SFO! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

tvl4free
Mar 30, 01, 11:41 am
Good job Biz, thank you.

I actually got to see the layout earlier this week as my flight from IAD-ORD on a 777
was equiped with FS.

Comicwoman
Apr 1, 01, 5:11 pm
And I highly suggest International First Class Lounges as prospective mate meeting places. (It's like meeting at the car wash, you can tell what they look like and their income all at once...).


Sadly there are more gay men travellers than gay women. Guess I'll stick with the woman I live with. She has more takeoffs than landings. Airborne.

ERIC30
Apr 1, 01, 7:47 pm
biztraveller: Excellent report. My partner and I will be using miles to (hopefully) claim a FC award LAX-LHR. I'm very much looking forward to the suite. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

Comicwoman: http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

biztraveller
Apr 2, 01, 2:13 pm
LOL @ Comicwoman. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

Eric, you guys will have a good time. Just make sure that you get the inside 2 Suites. They are kind of angled toward each other. If you get a window suite, it is not really convenient to talk to your partner.

(unless you are fighting at the time, in which case, get a window Suite... http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif )

jamiel
Apr 5, 01, 8:40 pm
Don't forget that u can use Air New Zealand to Sydney for the same # of miles as UA---might be nice for a change. ONly thing is that UA connecting service is coach no matter what class ANZ is booked in

ClassicalGal
Apr 6, 01, 1:29 am
Thanks for the fun trip reports!!
Especially the "Rhapsody in Blue" comment (I'm on the moving walkway at ORD in my mind...) and also the heads-up on Bill Pullman in "Lucky Numbers" (I'm a fan of his and didn't even know he was in this movie).

I was also interested in the reports on the First Suites...I live in Houston now, but I used to live in L.A., and man, sometimes I really miss UA...!

biztraveller
Apr 6, 01, 12:52 pm
I hadn't thought of the AirNZ option (I wouldn't have to make any connections since I live in L.A.).

What is their first class section like? Do they have Suites too? (or at least flat beds?). Most of UA's 747s should be converted by next year to the Suite configuration, so that would be my first choice unless AirNZ had something similar...

Classicalgal, I guess your a Continentalgal now?

ClassicalGal
Apr 6, 01, 1:48 pm
Yes, I'm ContinentalGal now...should reach status for the first time on 4/24.

QuietLion
Apr 6, 01, 10:25 pm
Enjoyed it. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif



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