QuietLion
Aug 16, 00, 10:56 am
You Wish
Kokonutz was overnighting in Vegas so I booked the $99 special on United to meet him. I had a camera crew from the BBC coming by in the afternoon to record my wisdom for an upcoming series so I chose the 5:46 p.m. flight. I got a ride to the airport from the crew in their rented SUV, bid them cheerio, and went through secret security to the Premier Executive checkin. I figured there would be a nice view on the short flight so I had reserved seat 1A. The plane was a regular 737, not a Shuttle, so I missed out on extra legroom by not booking the right side of row 1. Service was friendly as usual on this flight. My seat opponent was reading a John Grisham novel and showing off his tiny Sony laptop, which was about 10% as big as my Toshiba. There was thunderstorm activity near Vegas so the pilot curtailed drink service early and had everyone strap in. The landing was smooth though and the view of the setting sun through the faraway rain gave testimony to the natural beauty of the Southwestern desert upon which was built the modern Sodom and Gomorrah. We landed about 10 minutes late.
Koko’s flight from Washington-Dulles was on time so I had 37 minutes to kill. I was into my second Benji at my favorite Deuces Wild machine when sure enough I hit the wild royal and ended up ahead by $5. I cashed out, shaking my fists in the air and shouting, “Yes, yes, I’ve been in America only 5 minutes and already I’ve won $5!” Then I went to the sports bar to get a couple margaritas to greet Koko with. As the flight rolled up to the gate, what appeared to be two cops approached and waited for the passengers to deplane. I said I hoped they weren’t there for my buddy. Fortunately, they turned out to be security guards there as a courtesy escort for the first passenger off the plane, former Georgetown basketball coach John Thompson. Koko was right behind him. We embraced like long-lost brothers and headed down to the limo.
We got our chits for Las Vegas Limos and waited about five minutes till they filled one up with Strip travelers. The limo driver ordered me to put the handle down on my Briggs & Reilly. I told him you just press the button but he informed me he didn’t do that. I said fine, just keep me informed as to what you do and don’t do so I can keep up with you. I put the handle down and then he ordered me to detach the piggyback strap on the laptop. I did that too, as I began to craft exactly what I would say when he stuck his hand out for a tip at the end of the trip. Then along came an English couple in their early 20s and the woman’s niece, an 18-year-old blonde with a denim skirt, pink sneakers, a braided choker necklace, and a French-cut T-shirt stretched beyond all reasonable tensile thresholds. Just below the neckline was written, in understated print, “you wish.”
We all climbed into the limo. The English guy sat with his arm around his fiancée’s niece the whole way while Koko and I tried to figure out if we got three wishes each or just one. Just then Koko’s cell phone rang. It was his wife reminding him that he had three children. We let the Brits off at Paris, an older couple at Luxor, and finally pulled up in front of the stately Las Vegas Hilton, that great hotel that’s cheap. I silently told our attitude-laden driver that I hoped the not-putting-handles-down thing was working out for him, turned, and left him standing by the trunk of the limo.
There was a casino VIP line and a hotel VIP line right by the front door. Since there was no one in the hotel VIP line Koko and I, both HHonors Gold, went there even though I had a comp room reserved. We schmoozed the clerk trying to get an upgrade. Koko ended up with a regular room and for some reason I got a bizarre honeymoon half-suite with raised bed and mirrored walls and ceilings. There was supposed to be a whirlpool but it was just a rounded bathtub. I asked the clerk if anybody ever tried to bribe her to get a better room. Without hesitation she stuck out her hand and said, “sure”! She said she had no problem with people slipping her a hundred bucks. “A hundred!” I said. “What kind of room do I get for 20?” “Oh, maybe a lanai overlooking the pool on the fourth floor.” Vegas is toke city for sure.
Koko freshened up while I went straight down to the Pai Gow Poker tables so I could get more losing in. After a bit he joined me and picked up the game quite fast. I had a nice winning streak right toward the end and ended up down only a little. We asked for a comp for the coffee shop but they told us to sign it to our room. I had an OK reuben and Koko had a patty melt. I wouldn’t recommend the place unless it was the only thing open, which it was. The hours getting wee, we retired for the evening.
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Kokonutz was overnighting in Vegas so I booked the $99 special on United to meet him. I had a camera crew from the BBC coming by in the afternoon to record my wisdom for an upcoming series so I chose the 5:46 p.m. flight. I got a ride to the airport from the crew in their rented SUV, bid them cheerio, and went through secret security to the Premier Executive checkin. I figured there would be a nice view on the short flight so I had reserved seat 1A. The plane was a regular 737, not a Shuttle, so I missed out on extra legroom by not booking the right side of row 1. Service was friendly as usual on this flight. My seat opponent was reading a John Grisham novel and showing off his tiny Sony laptop, which was about 10% as big as my Toshiba. There was thunderstorm activity near Vegas so the pilot curtailed drink service early and had everyone strap in. The landing was smooth though and the view of the setting sun through the faraway rain gave testimony to the natural beauty of the Southwestern desert upon which was built the modern Sodom and Gomorrah. We landed about 10 minutes late.
Koko’s flight from Washington-Dulles was on time so I had 37 minutes to kill. I was into my second Benji at my favorite Deuces Wild machine when sure enough I hit the wild royal and ended up ahead by $5. I cashed out, shaking my fists in the air and shouting, “Yes, yes, I’ve been in America only 5 minutes and already I’ve won $5!” Then I went to the sports bar to get a couple margaritas to greet Koko with. As the flight rolled up to the gate, what appeared to be two cops approached and waited for the passengers to deplane. I said I hoped they weren’t there for my buddy. Fortunately, they turned out to be security guards there as a courtesy escort for the first passenger off the plane, former Georgetown basketball coach John Thompson. Koko was right behind him. We embraced like long-lost brothers and headed down to the limo.
We got our chits for Las Vegas Limos and waited about five minutes till they filled one up with Strip travelers. The limo driver ordered me to put the handle down on my Briggs & Reilly. I told him you just press the button but he informed me he didn’t do that. I said fine, just keep me informed as to what you do and don’t do so I can keep up with you. I put the handle down and then he ordered me to detach the piggyback strap on the laptop. I did that too, as I began to craft exactly what I would say when he stuck his hand out for a tip at the end of the trip. Then along came an English couple in their early 20s and the woman’s niece, an 18-year-old blonde with a denim skirt, pink sneakers, a braided choker necklace, and a French-cut T-shirt stretched beyond all reasonable tensile thresholds. Just below the neckline was written, in understated print, “you wish.”
We all climbed into the limo. The English guy sat with his arm around his fiancée’s niece the whole way while Koko and I tried to figure out if we got three wishes each or just one. Just then Koko’s cell phone rang. It was his wife reminding him that he had three children. We let the Brits off at Paris, an older couple at Luxor, and finally pulled up in front of the stately Las Vegas Hilton, that great hotel that’s cheap. I silently told our attitude-laden driver that I hoped the not-putting-handles-down thing was working out for him, turned, and left him standing by the trunk of the limo.
There was a casino VIP line and a hotel VIP line right by the front door. Since there was no one in the hotel VIP line Koko and I, both HHonors Gold, went there even though I had a comp room reserved. We schmoozed the clerk trying to get an upgrade. Koko ended up with a regular room and for some reason I got a bizarre honeymoon half-suite with raised bed and mirrored walls and ceilings. There was supposed to be a whirlpool but it was just a rounded bathtub. I asked the clerk if anybody ever tried to bribe her to get a better room. Without hesitation she stuck out her hand and said, “sure”! She said she had no problem with people slipping her a hundred bucks. “A hundred!” I said. “What kind of room do I get for 20?” “Oh, maybe a lanai overlooking the pool on the fourth floor.” Vegas is toke city for sure.
Koko freshened up while I went straight down to the Pai Gow Poker tables so I could get more losing in. After a bit he joined me and picked up the game quite fast. I had a nice winning streak right toward the end and ended up down only a little. We asked for a comp for the coffee shop but they told us to sign it to our room. I had an OK reuben and Koko had a patty melt. I wouldn’t recommend the place unless it was the only thing open, which it was. The hours getting wee, we retired for the evening.
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