Trip Reports - Whiff of a trip SEA-ORD-YYZ

Yesterday I did what is becoming my regular weekly schlep from Seattle to Toronto, via Chicago. One similarity and one difference to note:

The similar part was the shrieking baby. It has apparently become very en vogue to buy your very small, uncontrollable child a first class seat and then have the child entertain all of the other passengers (probably on the whole plane) with heinous and continuous shreiking. This was especially nice because it was my birthday and I just pretended the child was singing to me. (Side note: the flight attendant did give me a bottle of champagne for this notable occasion!)

The difference was that on the ORD-YYZ leg, there was a man seated close to me (it was unclear whether he was beside me or in front of me) who was repeatedly farting throughout the flight. Now, it's not a long flight, but this felt like eternity. WHO FARTS IN AN AIRPLANE????? I've never encountered this before (at least not repeatedly). We're in the bow - it's only 9 feet to the bathroom. Be a sport! It's close quarters! I was surprised and dismayed that the oxygen masks didn't drop down.

Then, walking to baggage claim, the farter continued! Unfortunately, I was downwind. How rude!!! Even ruder on my birthday.

What I can say with certainty is that I will now be adding one of those little filter breathing masks that construction workers use to my travel gear. It will be in there with the passport and the contact lens drops.

ROFL!

Catcop, can we say that word here???? http://talk.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif

Catcop suggests that we use a more proper and refined word like frautulance or having a gastritious problem.

That word made yaz's hair stand on end.

Sorry Hunnybear but I have to do my duty as CMDR CATCOP, ACE FELINE OFFICER! http://talk.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

Perhaps that was what was making the baby scream? http://talk.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

Very funny hunnybear, but OH how sad.

When my kids were younger we went FC LAX-EWR on CO. I like to believe that they were well behaved compared to what you describe. If they hadn't been, I would have taken them out on the wing until they had calmed down and then brought them back inside.

Seriously, this democratization of FC is disconcerting. A lot of parents don't discipline their kids at all. For a baby, of course, this is impossible, but I do resent it nevertheless.

Sorry to offend with that four-letter word, but believe me, when you're in a Dutch oven, the last thing you're thinking of is diction. I could have said flatulence, gastric distress, cut the cheese, broke wind, passed gas, tooted, honked, let one rip, or any number of things...but in my defense, I've been working at a mining company for the last 10 months so I suffer from degenerative language disorder. http://talk.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

Seriously, about kids, I think it's a problem with the young ones because they can't equalize the pressure in their ears! Since they are always sick with colds and stuff, this may be painful for them.

Hunnybear, was that you? If I had known I would have moved back to Coach where this is acceptable behavior and always "en vogue!" I thought FC meant Flatulence Class! http://talk.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

To answer your question of "Who farts in an airplane?" It's the same person who farts in an elevator. http://talk.flyertalk.com/forum/frown.gif

I also agree about there being too many fart jokes in this thread. It's starting to look (and smell) like a current Disney live-action family film in here.

[This message has been edited by PremEx (edited 10-20-1999).]

Hunnybear, wonderfull trip report.
I too have had the farting passenger experiance, last year in coach on CP, Toronto to London, a small, old, "lady", she had a bad cough, and every time she coughed she farted. The worst part was every time she did it, she looked daggers at me, as if it was me http://talk.flyertalk.com/forum/frown.gif

Stewart.

Ahh, the old flatulence on the plane problem. A couple of years agbo my wife and I were returning from a holiday in Scotland, we connectted to a flight out of Heathrow to Philadelphia. When we fly in coach, especially on a transatlantic flight, we usually take two aisle seats across from each other.My wife sat next to a very nice older lady, very well dressed. My wife had a pleasant talk with her until lunch was brought around. The lady had a vegetarian lunch - and that was when the problem started. After lunch, about every ten minutes, the woman would raise the right side of her posterior and let out a little gas. This continued for the entire flight. My wife started to turn green. I couldn't stop laughing. The woman's husband sat on the other side of her and we were a little upset that she didn't lift the left cheek and expel gas to that side.

Larry

Please Please Please use the word flatulence.

Leave the other word to that big screen Disney film (Whose title I don't want to know!) I bet Walt is turning green from the great movie studio in the sky!

Commander Catcop wants this to be a "C" rated board (as in CLEAN, NOT CAT) board!

Have a MEOWY DAY! CC

Okay CATMAN,

Flatulence, flatulence, flatulence, flatulence, flatulence, flatulence, flatulence, fart, flatulence, flatulence, flatulence.

Larrude: you are in the right.

It's for other people who used the other word!

Will you all stop (lol). I am reading this at work, sharing a room with 6 people and trying hard not to laugh. Thanks for the story. It reminds me of the old lady in the nursing home.... Everytime she leans to one side to pass gas a nurse sets her back on both her 'cheeks'. Weeks later when her son visits and he asks how she likes the nursing home...it was the best in the area. She said the food is fine, the people are nice, but the darn nurses won't let you f***.

Sorry, I could't resist the short version of that joke.

ROTFLMAO
What more can I say? Been there.

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Michael
OnePass Platinum

Very funny report, Hunnybear. I guess you're going to have to carry Gas-X with you from now on just in case; not to mention a Michael Jackson-type germ-defying face mask. Belated birthday wishes!

My father always flies 1st class to get away from the kids!

On a flight from Paris to Detroit a single father boarded with 2 little kids and a car seat. The baby had thrown up on the car seat on the way to the airport, and the father had brought the seat on board because he wasn't allowed to check it through. Facing a 7 hour flight with the smell, the other passengers started to revolt so the flight attendants finally took the seat away! I felt so sorry for the father and was very relieved that we did not have to sit in front of that smell for 7 hours!

Hunnybear:

This past August, on a LHR-SFO non stop the "gentleman???" behind me warmed the seat (is this okay Catman?) about every 10 minutes. I figured at some point he'd surely have to run out of gas (pun intended) but no such luck. This was a man about in his 70s sitting next to a woman that appeared to be his wife.

This was one of those flights that was 100% full so there was no escaping.

Definitely one of the longer trips I've ever taken.



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Robert Johnson
danville 1K

PremEx - It's not the guy ON the elevator that also is the 'plane offender'. It's the guy that leaves a gift as he's getting OFF of the elevator. Deespicable (he said in his best Sylvester voice).

Cheers,

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