GLBT Travelers - Help with a Gay Bachelor Party

Help me GLBT Flyertalkers.
I've been asked by a gay friend of mine to set up his bachelor(ette?) party. His brother will be the best man but is significantly older and lives far away so I'd do the party planning. I was raised by a Hag and am rather comfortable with gay people and gay bars but I have no idea what to do for a gay friend's bachelor party.
This would be my 4th time planning a bachelor party but first gay one. To complicate things I was given a crash course in the "bear" community by my friend. That was interesting. So many subcategories.
Mixed group of family and friends (gay and straight). What activities would you or have you done for such an event? Simply replacing going to a strip club doesn't really work as I don't think the family would want to see him getting a lap dance from a bunch of strangers. Yeah it's hypocritical or maybe I'm wrong/closeminded and that is something that could be appropriate.
So any ideas or previous experiences with this?
And just to make this flyertalk appropriate I will be running everything through my credit cards to get all the points and miles I can.

This would be my 4th time planning a bachelor party but first gay one

I don't think the family would want to see him getting a lap dance from a bunch of strangers.

Who did you have at the other bachelor parties that enjoyed seeing the groom-to-be get "a lap dance from a bunch of strangers?". (Is it better or worse from strangers?)

I'd suggest taking the party invitees into account. You may need a tamer party than your usual, or maybe two parties.

I go to parties where some people hang around the snack and dessert table, talking for hours; some play board games or clue-guessing or charades; some hole up in a side room with intense roll-playing geek games; others lounge in the hot tub while a few get frisky there (or in the pool while others chat holding drinks). So, very different behavior at the same party.

I have thought about the two party idea but I think it has screwed up this country enough so don't need to screw up his life ;):D
The other bachelor parties I have done have all been pretty crazy and I think he asked me because I will make it fun but keep things tame enough as to not alienate anyone.
Usually the parties I have planned before involve a concert, good meals, a bit of travel and one night of pure debauchery over a few days. I was thinking of sticking to a somewhat similar routine and for the debauchery maybe renting a boat and bringing on both male and female strippers and just letting people go wild with whomever they choose. Another alternative would be attending an intense burlesque show but that is not as interactive.

I have thought about the two party idea but I think it has screwed up this country enough so don't need to screw up his life ;):D:D
The other bachelor parties I have done have all been pretty crazy and I think he asked me because I will make it fun but keep things tame enough as to not alienate anyone.

Usually the parties I have planned before involve a concert, good meals, a bit of travel and one night of pure debauchery over a few days. I was thinking of sticking to a somewhat similar routine and for the debauchery maybe renting a boat and bringing on both male and female strippers and just letting people go wild with whomever they choose.Sounds like a plan that keeps with what your friends want. Let us know how it goes (maybe post a pix or two).

Have you asked your gay friend what "type" of party he wants? I would start there... instead of guessing and planning, do something that fits what the guest of honor would want... and definitely take into account what the other guests would find appropriate. Heck, you can always do something smaller and more intimate later with the close friends.

As an aside, great that you want to do this for your friend!

That is part of the problem. He's one of the most aloof and noncommittal people so when I asked him what he'd want I got, "Just something fun that everyone can enjoy". Also Bachelor parties are half about the Bachelor's ending of single life and half for the people celebrating with them (aka the married folk having an acceptable excuse to do stuff normally their wives would hate).
It's hard to turn down having someone ask you to plan the party when you're known for being really good at them...especially since his partner is a total dbag who won't let him hangout with people outside of their "community" so this would be one of the few times we get to hang out without his grumpy partner trying to play Madonna at a dive bar. Yep you guys get to enjoy my passive aggressive frustration about a friend marrying someone with the personality of cardboard.
As for throwing a 2nd party it's a bit counter productive as I'd have to plan 1 party for both groups that everyone should enjoy and then a "gay" one which I think would be even more difficult and less fun for myself.
The upside is that as I have a decent amount of gay friends I already have 4 male strippers contacts that would be down with this kind of party.

Since it sounds like you have a very mixed crowd, I'd probably recommend not doing a boat, but perhaps somewhere land based so that if people get uncomfortable, or uninterested, they have the option to discreetly leave?

Nice Dinner
After dinner drinks at a gay but low key/not intimidating kinda bar,
then onto some serious gay nightclubbing/bathhouse/foam party goodness for late late evening?

I'm actually going to a gay bachelor party with a mixed crowd. We're doing it in New Orleans. Has something for everyone, and can go as upscale or trashy as you want.

I had some discussions today with the Best Man and, as my friend called him, his "my best 'mo" friend and I've broken it down to a 2 day trip to somewhere between NYC and Boston. I hear Providence Town is a real interesting spot.

First night is arrival and a bit of local fare. BBQ/games/swimming/pub crawl
Daytime activity, Some sort of Concert followed by a good meal. Maybe catered by some "slutty waiters/waitresses" and then either the cruise/land based party and for those adventurous enough the foam party sounds fun. I did one in college. Ended up in the ER but still had fun.

When my friends ask my position on gay marriage I usually respond to the effect why would anyone want it emulate something that straights have turned into a parody? This pretty much validates my position.

I'm actually going to a gay bachelor party with a mixed crowd. We're doing it in New Orleans. Has something for everyone, and can go as upscale or trashy as you want.

Sounds like fun, wish I could go ;)

Would you mind disclosing any of the details you know about the party you're attending?

I'm actually going to a gay bachelor party with a mixed crowd. We're doing it in New Orleans. Has something for everyone, and can go as upscale or trashy as you want.

Do you mean Provincetown?

That is a great place... a bit off the beaten path... but certainly gay enough.... :)

Not sure when you are planning this.... but you seem to indicate there may be a "bear" subculture to your friend? If so, "Spookybear" would be a great time to go.... it is around Halloween. Provicetown is a great place to be at that time of year... a true melting pot... gays and straights and everything in between enjoying themselves.

People can dress up if they want... or not. Can do a show... or the Ursaman Halloween party which is always a hoot.

Plenty to do... and people can do as they want. Very safe.

Just realize it takes time to get there no matter how you travel.

I had some discussions today with the Best Man and, as my friend called him, his "my best 'mo" friend and I've broken it down to a 2 day trip to somewhere between NYC and Boston. I hear Providence Town is a real interesting spot.

First night is arrival and a bit of local fare. BBQ/games/swimming/pub crawl
Daytime activity, Some sort of Concert followed by a good meal. Maybe catered by some "slutty waiters/waitresses" and then either the cruise/land based party and for those adventurous enough the foam party sounds fun. I did one in college. Ended up in the ER but still had fun.

Would you mind disclosing any of the details you know about the party you're attending?

yes, please do!

yes, please do!

But Missy, are you asking for the schedule or the dirt afterward? It is so hard to tell....

Does she have to choose? :)

But Missy, are you asking for the schedule or the dirt afterward? It is so hard to tell....

Yoshi, you got very quiet.... any chance of an update for us? :)

Actually just confirmed the trip.

We're sailing to Providence Town Friday at 3 pm.

Dinner drinks

Using a friend of a friend's house

Some local entertainment with dinner and a bar crawl.

Saturday daytime is still not finalized we're looking into skydiving. Looking for a concert or something the like.
Night time have arranged for something along the typical bachelor party end but with both male and female strippers.
Sunday is partial recovery and maybe making a slow way home via foxwoods or something.

But Missy, are you asking for the schedule or the dirt afterward? It is so hard to tell....

I'm going to be there, so I'll know the dirt afterwards ;)

Yoshi, for reference in case you put it on invitations... it is Provincetown. Want to be careful as there is a Providence also! :) Totally different vibe with those two towns.... :)

When are you going? Would be glad to do some checking to see what might be available there.

Missy, I saw he mentioned female strippers.... are you moonlighting? :)

I'm going to be there, so I'll know the dirt afterwards ;)