geo1005
Aug 14, 03, 4:09 pm
In light of the recent changes in service levels and fare class rules, I'm changing my airline vocabulary and re-defining some of our most frequent situations:
Old ---------- New Geo1005 Term
domestic first class >>> slightly better than coach but with free booze!
non-refundable ticket >>> Fly or Die: either way, your cash is ours.
Full fare refundable ticket >>> You better act like my b!tch for what I just shelled out for this puppy ticket!
lime >>> Oh my god! A lime!
standby fee >>> Give us a $100 or you can standby for two hours while your Dash-8 mysteriously develops a "mechanical problem, heh heh heh..."
US Airways Club >>> How much $$$ will you give us so you don't have to sit "out there" and be over-run by overweight families on their way to Disney World?
Row 2 or 3? >>> So you like trash in the seatpocket and penmarks, eh?
"Your luggage has been checked through PHL and on to your final destination." >>>> "Kiss that bag goodbye because once it gets to PHL, you ain't never gonna see it again!!!"
glass of wine >>> a plastic cup of wine so that with every sip you'll have a reminder IN YOUR HAND of just how much we have cut the service levels in a product that we still call premium.
"Our flight time to PHL is approximatly 1 hour and 20 minutes" >>>> "Our flight time to PHL is approximatly 1 hour and 20 minutes but we'll still be in a holding pattern at 10,000 feet and then once we get on the ground we'll have a 30 minute wait for a gate so count on about 3 hours."
"Later this summer you will see the return of afternoon cheesetrays at the US Clubs." >>> Bullsh!t
"Latest enhancements" >>>> "Latest cost cutting moves that we think you won't care about but you really will."
<sorry - slow day at the office>
Old ---------- New Geo1005 Term
domestic first class >>> slightly better than coach but with free booze!
non-refundable ticket >>> Fly or Die: either way, your cash is ours.
Full fare refundable ticket >>> You better act like my b!tch for what I just shelled out for this puppy ticket!
lime >>> Oh my god! A lime!
standby fee >>> Give us a $100 or you can standby for two hours while your Dash-8 mysteriously develops a "mechanical problem, heh heh heh..."
US Airways Club >>> How much $$$ will you give us so you don't have to sit "out there" and be over-run by overweight families on their way to Disney World?
Row 2 or 3? >>> So you like trash in the seatpocket and penmarks, eh?
"Your luggage has been checked through PHL and on to your final destination." >>>> "Kiss that bag goodbye because once it gets to PHL, you ain't never gonna see it again!!!"
glass of wine >>> a plastic cup of wine so that with every sip you'll have a reminder IN YOUR HAND of just how much we have cut the service levels in a product that we still call premium.
"Our flight time to PHL is approximatly 1 hour and 20 minutes" >>>> "Our flight time to PHL is approximatly 1 hour and 20 minutes but we'll still be in a holding pattern at 10,000 feet and then once we get on the ground we'll have a 30 minute wait for a gate so count on about 3 hours."
"Later this summer you will see the return of afternoon cheesetrays at the US Clubs." >>> Bullsh!t
"Latest enhancements" >>>> "Latest cost cutting moves that we think you won't care about but you really will."
<sorry - slow day at the office>