Religious Travelers - Gift for Ramadan?

Is it traditional to give a gift for Ramadan?

If so, what would be appropriate for me to give to a religious Muslim woman who I am friendly with (but who is married)?

Is it traditional to give a gift for Ramadan?

If so, what would be appropriate for me to give to a religious Muslim woman who I am friendly with (but who is married)?

Unless breaking fast, not generally, and even if at an iftar (post-fast) get-together during Ramadan, not usual. If anything comes close to an appropriate standard of a gift during Ramadan, it would be food.

More likely time to give/receive gifts (food or otherwise) is for the Eid holidays that follow Ramadan, and even then giving gifts is less a universal norm for religious muslims than charitable giving or giving to those with presumably (or traditionally) lower incomes (children, poor, employees, etc.)

Country/regional/ethnic affiliation(s) of the woman would be useful to know since that may have a role to play in what is usual.

Country/regional/ethnic affiliation(s) of the woman would be useful to know since that may have a role to play in what is usual.

She is Israeli and Sunni.

How long after Ramadan is Eid?

She is Israeli and Sunni.

How long after Ramadan is Eid?

Eid marks the end of Ramadan.

Eid marks the end of Ramadan.

One of them does.

She is Israeli and Sunni.

How long after Ramadan is Eid?

The first Eid starts the morning after the end of Ramadan.

The second -- bigger -- Eid starts after the end of the Hajj, which as a matter of practice is about 10 weeks after the end of Ramadan.

Both are generally multi-day holidays.

About Israeli muslims, dates can be a gift. Is that what you are seeking? :D

One of them does.

Right.

Eid al-Fitr marks the end of Ramadan. Eid al-Adha celebrations follow the Hajj. Since the context of the question was Ramadan, my Eid reference was to Eid al-Fitr which marks its end.

Eid al-Fitr marks the end of Ramadan. Eid al-Adha celebrations follow the Hajj. Since the context of the question was Ramadan, my Eid reference was to Eid al-Fitr which marks its end.

This is getting downright confusing. It seems like Muslims have almost as many holidays as Jews. Christians, apparently, are a poor third in the race.

The good thing about having friends who are atheists is that I don't have to keep track of their holidays. :)

I see a good bunch of pastry shops along Edgware Rd (aka Little Beirut) selling plates of middle eastern baked goods/pastries, baklawa, loukum (turkish delight) etc.

All dishes used during Ramadan as part of the fast-breaking events.

This is getting downright confusing. It seems like Muslims have almost as many holidays as Jews. Christians, apparently, are a poor third in the race.

There are only two main muslim holidays of the sort where muslims are generally off from work on those dates: the two Eid holiday periods mentioned above. [During Ramadan, work schedules often do get re-set, but a break from work isn't a general given during Ramadan.] Unlike the two Eid holidays, no other holidays are common grounds for muslim holidays disrupting my travel planning in places where muslims are common and/or a majority.

If she is fasting, the best gift you can give will be food. About 1 and 3/4 hours before the Iftar on any weeknight of your choosing, you should appear at her home with the gift of readily consumable food that will be sufficient for her and her husband (and other family members?) to consume as a side dish. It could be sweet or savoury - your choice, since you are the gift giver, but timing is key. Get there before the household begins cooking for the evening meal.

She is definitely fasting, but I can not go to her house -- at least not after sun down.

Her husband has another wife (a second marriage is not recognized by Israeli law but it is by Sharia law) and he spends almost every night with the other wife. She lives in a small village and if I were to show up there when her husband is not at home not only would the neighbors see me but they would immediately jump to the wrong conclusion.

The good thing about having friends who are atheists is that I don't have to keep track of their holidays. :)

You're forgetting Newtonmas (http://agnosticism.tribe.net/thread/2ba9a16c-0499-4142-a504-f5933eeaff54).

How about for the reason he said -- that it would lead others in her community to draw incorrect conclusions, which would hurt the recipient of the gift by harming her standing in her community? Sometimes it's not all about the people involved...there's a broader social context that needs to be respected.

That's not quite what I said. I said that showing up at her house at night when her husband is not there would cause her neighbors to jump to the wrong conclusion.

Good morning!

I would invite a re-focusing on the op's two original questions; the personal topics in the now-deleted posts would make for more appropriate PM conversations. Thanks.

cblaisd
Senior Moderator

Dovster, after reading your more recent posts, I'm thinking a nice food or fruit basket addressed to Mr. and Mrs.... delivered by a third party might be a nice way to express your friendship.

Dov, your best bet is a tray of sweets. There are special sweets done during Ramadan (puff pasty stuffed with cheese); those are always a treat. Otherwise, any other sweet (baklava, etc) is acceptable really. Just don't show up with a bottle of whiskey or wine ;)

Just don't show up with a bottle of whiskey or wine ;)

Gee, I guess I really blew it then with the canned Danish ham and the 6 pack of Budweiser. :o

Actually, Bey, I wound up taking PhlyingRPH's advice and did not show up myself, but I did get a big basket of various fruits and packages of cookies and had a mutual friend deliver it, addressed to her family.