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Old Jun 12, 2008, 5:30 am
  #9  
Mats
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 2,403
It tastes like Grandma
To quote Ralph Wiggum, the Regency doesn’t actually taste like Grandma, but it sure smells like her apartment did. This is not a compliment. Although I was in a room seven floors away from any restaurants or kitchens, there was a powerful onion stank at every corner.
But it’s still hard to complain; the Regency is a bargain, the gym is amazing, and the view is unbeatable.

”Where are you from?”
It’s the favorite question of museum security guards in Israel. If you say, “USA,” you’re off the hook. But I loved the clever ways in which Israelis tried to figure out my—umm—“allegiances.” I don’t usually wear a kipah, and I suppose I arouse a bit of suspicion as a male traveling alone.

A wary cab driver asked, “Have you ever been to Bethlehem?” “Bethlehem?” I replied, “like with the Baby Jesus? Isn’t that more popular with Christian tourists?” Suddenly the ice was broken, and he pretty much invited me to join his family for dinner.

Avis
Renting a car in Jerusalem has always been a hassle, and Avis was about as easy as it gets. They acknowledged my reservation and actually had a car for me. The rest involved “customer service Israeli style.” She criticized me—like previous rental car agents—because I made a reservation over the internet. How could I have been so silly? She did, however, produce a beat-up Hyundai, she stared me down, and off I went.

On my last visit, I’d rented a GPS system that tried to drive me into a variety of occupied territories, so I proceeded with great trepidation. I rented from another vendor this time (across from the Avis office), and double-checked the map whenever I could. The GPS took me pretty far out of the way, but seemed to be set to avoid the “uh-oh” parts of Israel.

The last half hour of the drive consists of hair-raising corkscrews down hillsides, so I’m glad I did this during daylight. So I guess the choice is to get bombed driving in the occupied territories, or die by driving off a cliff.

Crowne Plaza Dead Sea, Ein Bokek
The Crowne Plaza is the best place to stay at the Dead Sea. Unlike the Meridian and some others, the Crowne Plaza is actually on the water.

I checked in, and was given a “deluxe room.” I’m not sure what the un-deluxe rooms feature, but this one had a balcony, incredible sea view, and hardwood floors.

The first night I was there, I was exhausted. I felt sick, and was perhaps still nauseated from the drive (or just happy to be alive.) So I did the unthinkable: I stayed in my room.

Yes, I went all the way to Israel and stayed in my room and watched movies.
Then I slept for almost 11 hours. Any parent would through a fit, but I thought, ”I’m 33 years-old. If I want to stay in my hotel room and watch movies, nobody can stop me.”

The next day I felt fantastic and spent almost the whole day playing in the sea.

The Crowne Plaza, like other Israeli hotels, has an amazing breakfast. There was an endless array of salads, yoghurt, breads, pastries, cheesecake, fruit. And there was one particularly noteworthy item: a warm tray of what looked like cinnamon rolls. But one bite and you’re back at Grandma’s: they’re filled with semi-burned onions.
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