Seems like wild ride! As others have said, I would reccomend cutting out a lot of the editorializing and rule citing. Also irrelevant details such as her being upgraded can probably fall by the wayside.
I sat next to an incredibly attractive woman once who had clearly drank her way through the airport and wouldn't stop touching my arm and knee as she was trying to tell me some story she thought was hilarious. The devil on my shoulder was grinning at me and telling to just roll with it....my wife and mother in law across the aisle had what I would describe as a different perspective.