The best would be to transfer the points into a single account (within family it should be possible for a nominal amount of money) and book an award flight or a long-haul upgrade. 45000 points would be required for a JFK-HEL upgrade, so you might want to have some flights posted to your AY+ account in the next weeks to top it up.
You do not have to take the flights within the validity of the points, you only have to use the points (i.e. book award flights or upgrades) by that time. It is generally possible to book flights almost a year out.
http://www.finnair.com/HU/GB/finnair...air-plus/rules
Points are valid for five (5) years, beginning on the date of the flight or service concerned, and any awards booked for redemption with them must be made before they expire. From 1 February 2010, points will be valid for three (3) years from the date of the transaction. The award they will be used for must be reserved within this time. Unused points that have expired are cancelled automatically. Expiration dates for points and any points due to expire are found on the Internet. Finnair is not obliged to remind members of points due to expire separately.