FlyerTalk Forums - View Single Post - Hollywood to Bollywood, the long way: UA/Swiss/Thai 77W/Emirates A380 F + Singapore J
Old May 22, 2012, 2:51 pm
  #46  
amolkold
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: LAS
Programs: DL PM, UA PS, Hyatt Globalist, Marriott Titanium
Posts: 4,904
BOM-SIN, Singapore 423 (J - text only)

(Before I start this part, I have to say … I made a TR no-no. I forgot to take any substantial photos of this leg. Since I value continuity, I’ll still go ahead, but it’ll be a text report for this leg. I tried to have a bit of fun with it, as you shall see …)

What is there to say about India? It’s hot. It’s crowded. I feel like I’m going to die every time I go on the road. This trip was no different, but I still love it. Tons of family met and reacquainted with, some I hadn’t seen in over a decade. That’s both good and stressful.

A whirlwind 10-day trip including a week-long wedding covering 3 cities. No planes, just overnight buses and trains. Fortunately, these buses and trains all have flatbeds as well in "first class." And they seem to have as many berths in one section as United in a row of Business. Sorry, BusinessFirst.

I was excited to fly the SQ 77W in business and had reserved 11A/12A for my sister and myself. Those two seats are in the private mini-cabin right behind First, and honestly, there’s no big difference between the F and J seats on that aircraft except for the service. Not only that, but it would be my sister’s first substantial premium class flight, so I was definitely spoiling her with this.

I was turning giddy almost, until I got a phone call from SQ at about 6pm. I was told that we would be “downgraded” (their word) to the angled lie flat regional seats, as the inbound flight to BOM was not a 77W but a regular 772. A bit upset, since this would be a true red-eye (12:20a – 8:00a). I asked if there was any mile or voucher compensation for this change, and was told to enquire at the airport. Fiddlesticks. I had purposely routed through SIN for this aircraft since HAN via BKK would be a shorter journey and earlier arrival.

Our flight ex-BOM was a 12:20am departure. Like I said, I’ve never seen BOM during the day. Though given how hot it was in India the week we were there (approaching 40ºC, over 100ºF), I’m glad the sun was down when we needed to go to the airport.

I would hate to be a frequent flyer out of BOM, or any other Indian airport, just due to the amount of hurdles and bureaucracy involved in trying to fly out. Without the aid of pictures, here’s a my-eyes view of the journey from home to SIN. Follow along:

Spend hours on Bombay roads trying to even reach BOM, or CSIA as some locals call it. Get stuck in traffic behind a cow and an elephant. On separate occasions. Reach the international terminal.

Stand in a long line outside the airport, as only ticketed passengers are allowed inside the BOM check-in area. Convince the Air Force official that your iPhone itinerary and mobile boarding pass are just as good as everyone else’s paper ticket (after all, this is the 21st century).

Somehow come across people just standing around in the terminal, despite everyone having a ticket and having a flight to catch.

Stand in a long queue to check in, behind families who just cannot pack light. Or if you’ve mastered the art of miles, stand in a short queue for F/J/status holders. Place airline tags over every single piece of cabin baggage, including your small camera bag.

Ask the agent about compensation for the J product downgrade. Find out that she’s rather useless in any sort of service capacity. Ask for the station manager. Get referred to a person in a darker suit who is not the station manager. Ask her to get the station manager. Find out the station manager is at home, despite 2 of the company’s 3 flights for the day departing at this time. Ask pseudo-station manager if she can call Babuji to get an answer.

Walk toward exit immigration and stand in line for 20 minutes, regardless of cabin class or status. Have your passport stamped. Have your boarding pass stamped. Have your boarding pass stamped again on the other side.

Walk 10 feet past the immigration counter. Stand in another line to have another fella check your passport and boarding passes to make sure they’re stamped.

Head toward security, branching off into two sides covered by partitions. Make a gamble to head toward the right, hoping it’s shorter. Branch further into separate lines for men (long) and women (short). Wait. Wait some more. See some men headed for MCT mistakenly get into the women’s line. Roll your eyes until you see that an airport official has opened up a new line for these men and invites you and every man behind you to join the least populated area in all of India. Do a happy dance (but not too happy. Security is serious).

Pass your bags through the scanner and walk through the metal detector that's off, to get wanded by a security official of the same gender (hence, the separate lines for men and women). After you prove you’re not hiding something up your bum, get your boarding pass stamped twice more in blue, hiding the red immigration stamps.

Wait for your bags at the other end of the scanner. Wait some more. Watch the airline tags on your bags get stamped. Even the one for your small camera-bag that couldn’t fit a hamster.

Leave the security area. Walk 10 feet before having another securitywalla check your boarding pass and bags to make sure they were stamped. Watch him send another passenger back to security for not having his knapsack stamped.

Head down the escalators to a revitalized terminal, with a semi-decent amount of shopping and eating areas. Or if you’re a miles master, walk over to one of the lounges. As SQ pax, your pass is good for the Celebrations Lounge (huh?), the Star Alliance Lufthansa lounge (that sounds better), or a massage at one of the two vendors in the terminal.

Go to the business lounge while your sister who believes Silver Medallion is worth something heads for a 30-minute foot massage, and demands you leave the lounge after 30 minutes to meet her at the gate. And demands you bring back a banana. And texts you when it’s been 35 minutes, exclaiming “Where are you?!” Respond with a picture of the alcohol selection, negating to mention the crowded seating areas for the bank of late-night departures. It’s been a long 10 days.

Forty minutes before departure, head to the gate area and quietly guffaw while watching an Indian mother try to convince the gate agent that her pre-pubescent son growing a mustache qualifies them for early family boarding.

Hear the announcement for First, Business, PPS, and Star Gold passengers and walk to the gate. Have your boarding pass, passport, and bags checked for the proper stamps at the gate. Walk 20 feet to the jetway. Have the same documents checked again for the same stamps. Mentally face-palm.

(Want a lucrative business opportunity? Sell stamps and stamp pads to the Indian Airport Authority. You’ll be rolling in rupees. I contemplated all this checking and re-checking, since you never really leave a sterile area. Well, I guess nothing in India is really sterile...)

Board your 772, through the First Class cabin that didn’t get downgraded and to your angled lie-flat. Curse your luck until you realize that you paid the equivalent of a 30-pack of Natty Light for this segment. Then still return to cursing your luck.

Place your bag in the overhead and begin to sit in the window seat until your sister says, “No, that’s my seat.”

“Why?”

“I’m older.”

Right. Think about pointing out who spent the hours and hours on FT to learn how to get these seats, and then take the aisle because you like holding favors over your sibling’s head. Also because you’re sending her back home from HAN on Vietnam Airlines and feel mildly guilty about it. Gotta love the options Skymiles give you. It might be in J, but for all you know, the Socialist country’s flag carrier puts everyone in J. “Common ownership, maaaaan.”

Curse your luck again as the other two bulkheads groups are switched with bassinet families, and you no longer have the semi-private cabin you originally booked. Curse that SQ doesn’t serve alcohol on the ground in India. Drink something called a Fruit Spritzer. Hope that none of your friends are boarding this flight through the door in front of you to see you drink something called a Fruit Spritzer.

Psuedo-station manager walks in and sees you drinking something called a Fruit Spritzer. She informs you that there will be no compensation in form of cash/vouchers/miles “for the downgrade.” You thank her for following up, but quietly curse your luck. If this were Delta, you’d be rolling in Skypesos about now. Skypesos you could use to fly Vietnam Airlines.

Sister asks “what’s the big deal?” and you keep quiet that the whole point was to have her first business class experience be a bit more special, with a “both window and aisle seat” experience. Whatever. She’s still swinging her feet up and down, aghast at how much room there is at the bulkhead. And that there are hot towels and free drinks before takeoff. Even if the drink is something called a Fruit Spritzer.

Take off to the west and turn back toward Singapore. Turn on the “award-winning” KrisWorld to watch a couple of episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm, only after 150 seconds of advertisements. Poke a fork at the murgh chicken rice supper, realizing that catering ex-India hasn’t ever been anything to fuss over. Focus your attention on the drink portion instead. Drift asleep, waking up only a few times as you slide down the angled seat. Wake up for landing. “Ladies and Gentleman welcome to Singapore, and to all Singaporean residents, a warm welcome home.” And once more in Hindi. Wish you were a Singaporean resident, just so that last sentence could warm the cockles of your heart.

Head over to the T2 SKL. Watch your sister’s eyes light up at all the amenities available. Tell her to have a go at everything while you take a shower in the mediocre shower room. Finish your short layover and head over to the gate for SQ 176 to HAN.

I promise pics from here on out!

Last edited by amolkold; May 23, 2012 at 1:18 pm
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