UA929 (Booked as CO4234/CO929) London Heathrow to Chicago O’Hare International
United Airlines, Boeing 747-400, Seat 48K, “Premium Configuration”, Economy Class
3953 Miles flown, 3952 Miles earned
Channel 9: Off
I was sort of welcomed aboard (sadly, I had to make the first welcome, and was directed to my seat down the back in row 48 (and give up with this new Economy row numbering UA - it's getting on my nerves already), and made myself comfortable for this flight in what I'm trademarking a GhettoPlane (we all know what GhettoIFE is, the concept of a GhettoFlatBed - row of seats to yourself).
And United 747-400's in Economy - are Ghetto Birds. Whilst up the front they have been "Premiumised" with the excellent United C/F hard products, down the back Economy got… well lets see
- New carpet
- put new seat covers on the seats
- Got shot of the old 3 colour projector for some flat screens.
And United. All I'm going to say to that is
BIG WHOOP. The word I'm looking for here
PATHETIC. Economy Plus is hardly worth upgrading on this bird (despite the agents claim you get 5 extra inches, it's more like 2 on the 747-400's) and the lack of AVOD installed in this bird in Y is beyond inexcusable. If British Airways, Singapore Airlines, Air New Zealand, Cathay Pacific can install AVOD in their 747-400's (and worth them like dogs too), there's really no excuse to install a passenger amenity like that in United's 747-400s.
Down in back!
Seating for the next 8 hours or so
As we boarded late, we pushed back a bit late, and this was the first time I've seen Jeff walking around with a gaggle of photogenic United workers promoting the new Mileage Plus and new MilegePlus Card (a subject I touched on in my Blog. US Chase applicants can get up to 40k on a successful app. UK MBNA Mileage Plus cards get… 1 mile per £1. No bonus. Rather pathetic really.), followed by the refreshed safety video (New "Continited Globe logos, with the old video spliced in).
After that, it was a short taxi to the runway, holding short to let another aircraft take off first, then it was our turn for the 747-400 for it's 4 P&W Engines to roar into life, propelling us down the runway, and up into the air. Being a 27R take off, it was past Windsor Castle, and over Wales, Over Ireland, up to the tip of Greenland, and down over Goose Bay, over the wild expanses of Canada and finally over to Chicago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs4dZX4D23E - Take off video
Past Queenieville
Climbing and turning
Of course the twit infront of me decided to recline his seat after a few hundred feet in air. Whilst I respect his privilege to recline his seat, not when we're in initial climb please incase we have to land in an emergency and I have fight to get off the plane because of your stupidity please...
And at this point, I had minimal sleep the night before thanks to going out for a coffee with a friend (and Jenny, if you're reading, I was quite happy to wait another hour to make sure you were ok… call it the old woman in me) I zonked out over the Irish sea, only waking up after we had crossed Ireland to see breakfast had been served. Thankfully, the flight attendant noticed, and imminently offered me a choice of Scrambled Eggs or Waffles. Knowing how ANY LHR caterer can louse up an Economy breakfast, I took the scrambled eggs. Or lets put it like this - the flight attendant “suggested” the scrambled eggs.
Breakfast
It almost was edible at this angle
Fruit
Bread
And a beverage....
And whilst the quantities were smaller than I remember, it was a hearty fill.
The eggs were reconstituted I think, whilst the non offensive sausage was indeed non offensive - and cooked well. The bread was this wonderful two types of bread in one that United enjoys giving out on these LHR trips (although it was soft - I’ll grant it that). Meanwhile the orange juice was wet, and the fruit salad... was a bit brown. Been out oxygenating itself for a bit I’d wager. Still comparatively fresh though.
Service was relatively quick, and clear-down was done quickly.
Now we’re aboard an United Boeing 747-400. Which means if you’re in Economy or Economy Plus, you’ve got a big screen for entertainment. And United’s choices of movies really don’t float my boat - at all.
And not viewable at this angle really
Thankfully as most of you are sadly aware, I have the perfect solution.
Oh yes. It’s my beloved GhettoIFE System on a GhettoPlane!
Featuring today Star Trek
For those of you who DON’T what a GhettoIFE system is, head here, or accept this explanation - the idea of putting a SmartPhone in a sick bag, mounting it on the back of the table and using it as an entertainment device that you’ve loaded all the content on. Rather simple really
. I prefer Apple’s iPhone4 product (not a 4S - my contract date is still some months away), but I’m sure they’re compatible with any smartphone with a large screen
Alas, I wasn’t that awake to be blunt, so I closed my eyes and had a flitful sleep, waking up with the coast of Greenland tracking past.
Greenland
Looking at the plane, it seems the refurb has cleaned the plane a fair bit - considering the state of one of the UA747-400’s I flew a couple of years ago, with bits of the inside held together with speedtape, and the bird looked in good condition (apart from the flaking paint on the nosecone).
From what i could tell, this was a pretty senior crew aboard today - and in some cases, it showed, with some flight attendants really going through the motions - an example was the male flight attended in the pink tie who was doing the mid-flight snack service who wasn't talking much, and just going through the motions. On the other hand, there were others who who actively engaging with the passengers. And then there are the bunch who hogged the exit row seats during the flight using it as a discussion area.
Midflight snack
We tracked over Canada, and about an hour and a half before landing, it was time to see what other delights were coming from Heathrow catering. And it seems to be return of the seeded by with questionable innards.
Pre-landing snack
Meat - Circular
The Bun was 1) small and 2) contained cream cheese, turkey in disc shapes and cheese. It wasn’t that bad, but a bit of creativity might be better sometimes here. This was served with a pack of KP crisps (cheap - we all know that Walkers Crisps are the gold standard) and a Two-Fingered Twix. Oh. And the only United napkin I’ve seen which contains no advertising apart from the logo.
Yes. I was in shock too.
Well it was better than nothing I suppose.
Eventually, a drinks round followed, and I was still in the mood for IFE.
And apparently. The Bird is indeed the Word.
Soon it was time to begin descent from the lovely blue skies of up above, and down to the murk that laid in wait of a wet Chicago morning.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-HkFWiaoiI
Arriving in Chicago near the International terminal, it was a relatively quick taxi to the terminal where upon we docked.
Of course, the entire plane got up, and was rooting around for their luggage. Earlier, I semi-cheated, and brought all my luggage down. Call it planning
As usual I said thank you to the crew as they were departing, except one of the crew was busy doing their makeup and not paying a blind bit of attention to what was going on around them. Sigh.
Eventually, I made my way to 2L, and made my way out of the queen of the skies.
Overall: I've had better flights with United. I've had worse. Very much down the middle the flight was, with middling crew and a GhettoPlane. Nothing special at all, and it seemed a lot of the crew were going though the motions - a shame really.
Now I hear improvements are on the way, and if United are running these birds to far and flung places, they must improve the hard product on these birds in all classes. The joke that is E+ in a 747, and the lack of any meaningful IFE must force an improvement in the hard product in all classes - not just First and Business.
After getting off the plane,, I knew it was a matter of rushing past all the slowcoaches to get through the queue quickly, and not be at the back of the immigration queue. And seeing that it was at area A as opposed to area B, I power-walked through and got to the 3rd switchback of the queue. Which if you’re in the visitors queue for the USA in a 10 minute wait as opposed to an hour in the 5 switchback in the queue.
I was seen to, and greeted in a friendly manner. My purposes was asked, and I made the mistake of calling the Sears Tower the Wills Tower. Ah. How to make a customs agent laugh and be friendly.
I was stamped in, and welcomed to United States of America. It was the a case of waiting for the luggage carousels to spit into life, with the rucksack arriving quickly, and the ski bag taking it’s time through oversized luggage.
All luggage assembled, I made my way to the customs point, where I was invited into the United States.
Quick, simple, and all done in about 30 minutes. Now that’s one hell of an improvement and the sort of times we need to have people.
After settling in, I made my calls home, and then headed out to a grey Chicago day and off to the Taxi rank. Being relatively early it was a short wait for a cab, but amazingly, the taxi driver didn’t seem to get lost going to the hotel - The Hyatt Regency O’Hare.