Originally Posted by L-1011

I was about to have the same experience in BOS yesterday, but I avoided the testicle part by accident. When the screener asked me if I had any sensitive areas, I answered, "Yes, between my legs". It took a while for him to realize what I meant and after a 7-8 minutes discussion with a supervisor and a TSA in civilian clothing, they did a modified Enhanced Pat-down. All that the OP described except the buttocks and the testicles.

I don't know if this will work everywhere, but it could be worth a try.