Thanks
Raffles, great report. I almost spit my cornflakes over the monitor I was laughing so much (sadly as I recognised what you were saying in the prosecution!!!)
I stayed there in Feb with the lady, so I thought I'd add my ha'penny worth
Good bits- The price - with a 2-4-1 offer, it was £52.50 per night for a club room (room only)
- The outdoor hottub - great on a cold evening staring at the stars
- Decent sized swimming pool
- Free carparking
- Powerful shower plus separate bath
- Very peaceful at night
- White company toiletries
- Marlow is close by, which has lots of great eating places
- Lovely walks and drives close by
Bad bits- Keys - whilst we didn't get an occupied room, the keys refused to work a number of times (each day actually!). Reception was rude about this every time and accused us of not looking after the keys "properly".
- Housekeeping - half empty bottle of water in minibar on arrival! We asked for the minibar to be emptied, and filled it with bubbles and olives (our idea of bliss!). The next day we returned to find a full minibar with our full bottles, and food on the floor beside it!
- Club lounge. The worst I've even been in.... by miles. It's unmanned, so there is little interest shown in it. Canapes are spoons of guacamole and tuna mayo - yes, really. The only alcohol was beer and wine, which kept running out, requiring calls to reception by a number of guests for them to be replenished
- Ate (tried to eat) breakfast in the lounge (weren't offered it in the restaurant). Choices were: cereal; a jug of milk (on the first morning!); a couple of slices of fruit; and about 3 pastries. Both mornings things were missing (eg bowls, spoons, mugs, teabags etc) and we waited so long for replacements on the second day we gave up
- The drive to the hotel is through an industrial estate, so first impressions aren't great
- Staff were incredibly rude when anything was wrong
- Minibar and bar prices were definitely set at for those on expenses and not for those paying out of their own pocket.
- When I asked what Plat upgrades were available before booking, I was informed it was to Club Level, but without Club Access. We wanted access so paid for it (couldn't quite understand how a club room without club access was better than a normal room - the website only mentions the club lounge as the difference....)
Would I go back? Yes, in balance I'll give them another opportunity and see how it goes. After all, for a quick break just far enough out of London for it to feel like a break; its location is ideal; and if they sort the service out, it'll be a great place