twofive99 -- sorry to hear about the circumstances regarding your trip, I know bereavement travel is always an unfortunately thing to have to contend with. But as it was already pointed out, why did you not bother selecting the Classic Plus fare, especially for the return? It sounds like you selected an Economy ($150 change fee) or Classic ($50 change fee) ticket on the return, but I've never been able to understand why people book bereavement travel knowing that those type of circumstances never create a set schedule, and changes are fairly common. When you book a ticket with F9, you clearly see what the rules/penalties are for changes, so in all honestly, you were not extended a waiver which you felt you were entitled to (I am not debating here if the circumstances warrant the change without a penalty), however, you also clearly booked a ticket knowing what those changes would cost.
You mention AS has been good to you about this before (if you have to travel for bereavement often, then I truly feel bad for you), but I doubt this is not their policy either, unless you can direct me to it on their website, change fees waived for bereavement travel. Going under the impression that waiving change fees is not common practice, there is no guarantee that AS would have waived the fee. WN has no fees, we know that, and indeed is a nice selling point. But if they have no seats for sale, then that isn't a viable option.
Sorry you weren't satisfied with Frontier's ticketing policies (you didn't make any mention of poor inflight service), but Frontier's Classic Plus fare is truly one of the most friendly offerings for fully changeable and refundable tickets today. Those Classic Plus fares can be, and generally are, SIGNIFICANTLY less than full Y fare on another airline. Of course Classic Plus fares on F9 may only offer a full Y fare if the flight is just about sold out.