Well, if you can't get enough miles for a ticket:
- I'm signed up for about 10 FF programs -- even if I only fly an airline once, and they don't have a partner, I'll sign up anyway -- because you never know. Sign up for an airline you don't usually fly and deposit there. Good for mergers.
- Use some miles for magazines or whatever the airline program offers -- free stuff and it makes your account 'current'.
- I've had accounts for which my miles were all about to expire -- sometimes you can donate some miles (1k or 10k or whatever you want) to a charity. No tax write-off but it'll help people, make you feel good, and, again, keep your account active/up to date.

(I know you were pretty much kidding w/ your LOL, but someone else may have the same questions .)

TD